What Doesn't Kill You
by AlphaWriter1
Summary: Massie's a wreck.Alicia's heartbroken.Kristen's single for life.Dylan's alpha.Claire's beta.Massie's also back and she's going to turn everything upside,starting with the social structure,cuz what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Follow the PC on their journey through their final years of high school where they dwell in friendships and love, and of course-drama.
1. Chapter 1:What Doesn't Kill You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 1_**

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
>Stand a little taller<br>Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone  
>What doesn't kill you makes a fighter<br>Footsteps even lighter  
><em>_Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone_

Massie Block was back. She was officially back in Westchester and life couldn't be more perfect. Well, that was a total lie, but to the outside world, her life was just as picture perfect as it had always been. And she'd never bother to correct the pubic opinion. She sighed as she studied her reflection in the mirror. Sure, she looked better than before, with her long dark chocolate brown hair that was at the perfect thickness and just glossy and wavy enough to look one hundred percent natural. Her amber eyes were bright and piercing and her nose was just an adorable little ski slope. She had her queen bitch smirk on her face and she was tall, skinny, and all muscle with a perkier butt than ever and a chest to match even Alicia's. Her skin was tanned and a purple streak fell into her face. But, on the inside, she felt like death.

But how could she not? Her father had cheated on her mother with a bleached blonde idiot. Who didn't even have straight teeth! And then James Conrad, her boyfriend, had cheated on her with her best friend. Haven Swift was supposed to be her best friend. The two girls had met because of cheerleading. James played rugby and they cheered for Rugby at KISS, her school in London. Haven was picture perfect, with golden blonde hair, navy blue eyes and a tanned perfectly symmetrical baby face. The girls had added Autumn Goldsmith, the best gymnast in the school to their clique shortly after. Autumn was in Massie's gymnastic classes and was the ideal sporty girl with short jet black hair and grey blue eyes, she could roll out of bed and look amazing. The fourth member of their group was Cleo Collins, the brainiac of the school with her wine red hair and emerald eyes. The four girls were the ultimate girls at school and a force to be reckoned with. Nobody said no to them. Absolutely nobody.

Then, right at the beginning of her sophomore year of high school, after a year and a half of living in London, her mom had caught her father and Britney Lee, his soon to be wife. As soon as the plans were made to move back to Westchester after that school year was finished, Massie had caught Haven and James together. Shortly after, Massie lost all of her friends. She'd gone through a more traumatizing experience in that one year in London than she'd gone in 13 years in Westchester. And she'd been through a lot in Westchester.

But at OCD, Massie ruled. And she knew it. She was going to be the ultimate girl again. Nobody had to know the truth. She was going to be the best thing to happen to Westchester since...well, since she was born. She smirked as she studied her reflection in the mirror for a moment longer. Her dark denim cut off short shorts had a brown braided belt through the loops and she wore a brown tank top with a horse's head on it. She'd paired it with a pair of simple brown flats. During her stay in London, Massie had become one of the girls in a Luke Bryan music video. She was strictly country and she loved it. After all, she'd been brought up a lady and ladies love country boys, right?

"What do you think Bean?" She asked her pug. The pug responded loyally with ten barks. Massie smirked. She was ready to rule.

**~...~**

_You think you got the best of me  
>Think you had the last laugh<br>Bet you think that everything good is gone  
>Think you left me broken down<br>Think that I'm come running back  
>Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong <em>

Alicia Rivera was heartbroken. She had been since freshman year when Josh Hotz had dumped her. He'd clearly thought she'd come begging for him back. But, after a year of Alicia showing no interest in him, he moved on. Right to Claire Lyons. And he hadn't looked back since. Sure, Alicia was gorgeous and could easily get almost any other boy in school she wanted with a snap of her fingers, but the only boy she wanted was Josh. And she wasn't getting him anytime soon. She pulled her glossy, wavy, jet-black hair into a low ponytail and adjusted the mini cowboy hat she'd paired with her ensemble. She was strictly a country girl now, ever since her family vacation to Texas the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year. She'd loved how happy everyone there was, how friendly. And she'd fallen in love with the style. Today she wore a distressed denim mini skirt, frayed at the bottom, with dark brown cowboy boots and a brown plaid button down with sleeved rolled to the elbows and tied right at her belly button.

Alicia had gone from popular to a nobody in a day. And it hadn't been because of Josh. Massie, her best friend, had moved and it was a slow decline after that. She was meant to be the alpha and she was doing a great job. Until Dylan started dating Derrick. Until Dylan started a new clique. And before Dylan spread a rumor about Alicia. Then, suddenly Dylan and her new friends were the Pretty Committee and ruled OCD while Alicia and her one true friend she had left were the LBRs they'd always mocked. They had three of the most sought after Briarwood boys on their side though. And one of them happened to be the hottest guy in school-the hottest single guy that is.

Alicia sighed, her brown eyes bright but glossed over with sadness. She sighed as she turned on her heel and grabbed her bag and her Droid. She started walking downstairs and outside, towards her navy blue BMW convertible when the dark black limo-so black it was almost purple-with purple tined windows pulled into her driveway. Alicia paused, her rose red lips parting just slightly in shock. It couldn't be.

The window slowly opened and a perfect head of dark hair, eyes covered by purple Gucci glasses, popped out of it. A perfectly manicured hand removed the glasses slowly and amber eyes locked on Alicia, surveying her.

"Well? Get in loser," Massie Block replied easily.

"You're back?" Alicia couldn't move, she was completely frozen.

"Didn't you get my messages?" Massie asked, her iPhone 4G already being glared at as she pressed buttons. Alicia grabbed her phone and stared at it.

**1 New Message  
>MASSIE BLOCK<strong>

****She opened it and grinned as she read it. She hurried into the limo and squealed as she hugged her best friend.

**~...~**

_Thanks to you I've got a new thing started  
>Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted<br>Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me  
>You know in the end<br>The day you left was just my beginning  
>In the end...<em>

Kristen Gregory had gotten rejected and dumped multiple times. Boys thought they could just walk all over her. They were totally wrong. After her most recent break-up...with Dempsey Solomon, back in eighth grade, she'd sworn off relationships. As soon as the words had been said, her father had gotten a new job, better than his old one. Her family was suddenly rich again. She lived in a mansion, no more apartments for her. She didn't have to worry about picture perfect grades or being the best soccer player in the school. She didn't need to wear mom approved outfits. She could be Kristen again. She could be the person she really was at long last. And she loved it.

Of course, it was hard to stay single when the school's biggest player had a crush on you-had told you he'd settle down if he could just have you. If he'd already started to change just to get you. It was even harder when you actually liked this guy too. Kristen sighed, fixing her light denim skinny jeans that went right into her cowboy boots perfectly. She wore a cute white-brown blouse that fell off of the shoulders and her hair was braided. After the trip she'd taken with her best friend to Texas, she'd found it hard to stop wearing all the clothes she'd purchased while there. Especially after she and Alicia had been featured in that Brad Paisley music video. She knew they'd been picked for their looks, but, hey, it was fun.

Kristen grinned as she grabbed her Droid Razr which was vibrating on her bed. She swing her braided back over her shoulders and started out of her room.

She had one new text message from Alicia, her best friend in the entire world. The only friend she had actually, besides Massie. And Massie was in London...

**Alicia: I've got a surprise for you! Look for the purple limo in your driveway!**

Kristen frowned. There was only one person in the world who would want a purple limo. There was only one person in the world who could possibly get a purple limo. But she was supposed to be in London. She'd moved there years ago. There was no way...Kristen hurried towards the driveway and sprinted towards the limo that was waiting for her. She springed into it and dropped onto a seat, grinning as she faced her best friend.

She meant to greet the girl she hadn't seen in years, but it didn't work that way.

"Dylan took over! She's the alpha of the PC and her betas are Claire and Olivia! And they've got Josh, Derrick, and Dempsey-and Dune, sorta...kinda...I don't know, it's hard to explain. I'm so-" Massie held a hand up to shut her up.

"I know. And don't worry. We'll be back on top soon." She grinned. And that's when the two best friends hugged and were properly reunited.


	2. Chapter 2:Fly

_**What Doesn't Kill You  
><strong>**A Clique Fan Fiction  
><strong>_**Chapter 2**

_I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive  
>I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise<br>To fly-to fly  
><em>_I used to think that I could not go on  
>I wish today it would rain all day<br>__Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away_

Dylan Marvil was the alpha of the century. Nobody could take that away from her. She rose from ashes. She'd shed her baby fat and had made her fiery red hair so pin straight, so frizz free, so flawless, that everyone envied it. Her emerald green eyes needed no work and her face was flawless. Her skin was like porcelien. She was a red haired Snow White.

She turned to the side to admire her outfit for the first day of school. The green, square neck silky tank top was gorgeous and made her brighter than ever. She'd paired it with black balloon-leg short shorts and black high heeled knee high boots. Dylan was a typical uptown girl. She was classy and loved living in her white bread world, no matter how blinded it made her. She wasn't Massie, who had gotten tired of everything being perfect and all of her high class toys. The presents she'd receive from the typical city boys had sickened her. Dylan loved it. She wanted it. And she didn't have that with Derrick. But she hated it. She grabbed her purse and started towards her fire red mercedes. She smirked at her sisters-two total failures in every way possible-as she passed them. They made a face back at her but Dylan didn't care. She'd beaten Alicia Rivera as the hottest girl in school. She'd ruined the Pretty Committee's picture perfect little clique and turned it into what she wanted it to be. She and her friends were the girls everybody wanted or wanted to be.

Dylan was the leader, because neither of them would know what to do if it wasn't for her. She'd watched Massie carefully and she'd learned from the very best. It was stupid of Massie to place Alicia as the alpha in her absence. So Dylan had made some staffing changes, taking the liberty upon herself. So what if it would piss Massie off? She wasn't there and she wouldn't be coming back. But, a part of Dylan dreaded how Massie would react to knowing her last command had been disobeyed when Dylan had followed every other command so perfectly.

Dylan had always been loyal to Massie, never questioning her. Until Derrington had shown an interest to her. Then she'd started to rebel. Dating him while Massie still held claim to him had been her first act of traitorship. Her final act-her goodbye scene to her friendship with Massie-had been destroying the PC she'd left behind without looking back. Dylan knew things were better now. Alicia and Kristen's fashion sense had gone completely down hill and Olivia and Claire were perfect popular assets. Dylan was just a bitchier Massie. Everyone said so. So life was-

Over. Dylan was positive of that as soon as the purple limo sped past her house.

**~...~**

_Paint their own pictures, then they crop me in  
>But I will remain where the top begins<br>Sometimes silence can seem so loud  
>Cause I am not a word, I'm not a line<br>I am not a girl that can ever be defined  
>I hear the critism loud and clear<em>

Claire Lyons was happier than she'd ever been. But only on the outside. On the outside her blue eyes sparkled with constant laughter and her lips formed an eternal smile. Her blonde hair was always perfect and neat. Her skin glowed. She was always well put together. But she wasn't like that on the inside. On the inside she was falling apart. Her heart was torn to pieces and there was nothing to be happy about. Her laughter and every single smile was forced and fake. Completely fake. And nobody cared about her enough to realize it. Nobody cared about her. Nobody even bothered to ask her if she was okay. Because she did such a good job of playing pretend and lying about everything when they did get concerned.

She sighed as she smoothed her dark blue pencil mini skirt. She adjusted the cropped white button down shirt she wore and slid on her silver flats. She grabbed her purse and shook her head at the time. She was going to be late. If she didn't hurry, Dylan would leave her and she'd bee forced to walk. Nothing was worse than walking to school. Especially in this outfit. And if she was walking, there was no time to change. Anyways, she'd pre-approved this outfit with Dylan's opinion the night before. Dylan would murder her if she showed up at school in anything else. She might not blend well with the other PC members, and they had to look like a perfect set of Barbies. Each one of them had to look like the belonged. That was why they worked hard to preview outfits before school and buy make-up and accesories together.

Claire sped up a little as she walked from her room, through the hall way and down the stairs. As long as she didn't pass Todd, everything should be fine. Todd was obnoxious and would do anything to get the golden ticket to hang out with the PC and the only boys worth befriending or dating at OCD. Of course, the boy Claire was in love with wasn't one of these options. Dylan banned artsy types. She banned everyone except the three-sometimes four-who chose to be around the PC but only Claire understood that. Dylan liked to believe she was like Massie, but it was clear to everyone that she was a fraud. Massie was the only alpha OCD could ever have.

"Hey Claire, guess what Cam just text me?" Todd asked from his spot in the kitchen as Claire tried to hurry towards the door.

"What?" She sighed, pausing with her hand on the door knob. It involved Cam and that made it important.

"A purple limo just drove past his house. With purple tinted windows. On its way to BOCD. And he could see three gorgeous girls with their heads out of the sunroof, singing along to country music. One of them just so happened to be-"Todd was cut off by Dylan's impatient horn. Claire threw open the door and hurried towards the car. The gossip had been important, but it wasn't worth walking. Dylan would have to find out about it when Claire learned if it was true.

"Massie's back," Dylan declaired. Or not.

**~...~**

_Me, me, me against them  
>Me against enemies, me against friends<br>Somehow they both seem to become one  
>A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood<br>They start coming and I start rising  
>Must be surprisng, I'm just surmising<em>

Olivia Ryan had had five enemies in the world at one point in time. Each of them had been a member of the Pretty Committee at sometime during Massie's reign as queen. Now, she only had to worry about three of them. Two of them were her new "best friends" but Olivia had only ever agreed to that because she needed allies and she needed to keep her enemies closer than anyone. She wasn't a dumb blonde anymore. Her eyes were the window to her soul and it showed how determined she was to prove that to the world. She wasn't stupid. She was street smart. That was the only smart she was. But she was not stupid.

She smoothed out her brownish-silver dress with one shoulder-the other shoulder dangled towards her elbow. The dress fell to her mid thigh and she wore it with bronze strappy heels. It fight in with Dylan's "uptown" theme very well. Dylan was obsessed with BOCD seeing how classy the PC was compared to Alicia and Kristen's country style. Olivia rolled her eyes. Dylan only liked Olivia because she no longer liked Alicia and Kristen. Olivia was a pretty face who would obey Dylan's any command. That made her friendship appealing to Dylan. Olivia knew it wasn't a true friendship...not at first anyways. Now, it was building. The honestly did like each other, but they were both still waiting for the other to stab them in the back. Claire was the only middle ground. Claire, as ironic as it was, was what made them have fun. They needed to distract her-get her to keep forcing and faking those smiles and that laughter. Real friends would try and make Claire feel better for real, but Dylan and Olivia needed her happiness for their image. THey didn't have time to mend her or fix her problems.

Olivia sighed as the Mercedes pulled into her driveway. It was the beginning of another year. Maybe things would get a little bit more real this time. She hurried towards Dylan's care and slid into the backseat. Dylan and Claire each had a grim expression on their face. On Claire, it was typical. On Dylan, it was new.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked, sure it was something about her.

"Massie's back," Claire said.

"And that means things are about to get interesting." Dylan glared as she reeved out of the driveway and sped towards school. She needed to get there fast and Olivia knew why. Damage control.


	3. Chapter 3:Country Girl

**We Are Young  
><strong>**A Clique Fan Fiction  
><em>Chapter 3<em>**

_Country girl shake it for me  
>Shake it for me girl, shake it for me<br>Country girl shake it for me  
>Shake it for me girl, shake it for me<br>somebody's sweet little-farmer's child  
>With a gattle in her Bud to get a little wild<em>

Derrick Harrington was the only boy in Westchester who could afford any car he wanted and chose to drive a red pick-up truck. A beat up red, Chevy pick up truck. He was the only boy who could afford any sports jersey, any expensive outfit he wanted, and actually chose to wear distressed jeans-naturally distressed jeans-and plaid shorts with work boots. And the boots were definitely not Timberland. Derrick had moved to Westchester in fourth grade from Tennessee and he hadn't changed his southern roots at all. He was a strict country boy and that much would never change.

He shook his head to get his dirty blonde curls out of his milk chocolate eyes and flashed his heartbreaker grin as he waited for Josh Hotz, his best friend. Of course, he hated any day he had to wait for Josh, because Josh lived next door to Derrick's old best friend, Cam Fisher. And Derrick hated that some lowly little freshman-Todd Lyons-could pick Cam when he couldn't. He sighed as Josh carefully exited his house and checked to make sure their extra key was under the mat. Then, he swaggered towards the car. Josh was a preppy boy-he still lived for Ralph Lauren-but looks could be deceiving. Josh wanted a simple girl as much as Derrick did. And Josh was in love with somebody besides his girlfriend, just like Derrick was.

"I heard Massie's back," Josh whispered.

"You do realize we're screwed, right? Massie's gonna hate me just because I'm dating Dylan and you're with Claire and you dumped Alicia. We're done," Derrick sighed.

"I know. I was just hoping you'd have a plan," Josh sighed as Derrick pulled out of the driveway and started towards BOCD.

"Well, of course I do. But it's not going to be easy," He said.

**~...~**

_Ponytail and a pretty smile  
>Rope me in for a country mile<br>So come on over here and get in my arms  
>Spin me around this big old barn<br>Tangle me up like grandma's yarn  
>Shake it for the young buck's sitting in the honky tonks<em>

Josh Hotz grinned at his best friend as he ran a hand through his dark brown spiky hair. His dark eyes sparkled as he thought of Alicia. He knew it was going to be hard to get her back. He knew it was going to be nearly impossible. But he was sure it could happen. He was positive that one day, they'd be together again. He didn't doubt it. There wasn't one part of him that thought it would never happen, because he liked to stay positive. Josh was always all smiles and laughs, filled with bad jokes. It was who he was. And sure, he knew that he was only Derrick's best friend because Derrick could no longer have his real best friend, but he also knew that their friendship was real. He didn't doubt it. There was no way it could be anything else after all they'd been through. And now, they'd have an even stronger friendship. Trying to get Alicia and Massie back was not going to be easy. It would be painful. It would be hard. And it would take a long time.

"We can't tell Dempsey," Derrick said he parked the car in his usual spot. "Or Dune," He added.

"Of course not. That would ruin everything," Josh agreed. Dempsey and Dune were not their friends, no matter what anyone said. Dempsey and Dune hung out with them because of the girls, but even if Derrick's truck could hold the entire school, he would never give Dune or Dempsey a ride. Josh knew that and couldn't agree more. Dempsey and Dune were players and jerks. They practically collected the hearts they broke. Josh wasn't like that. He was a one girl kinda guy. He was sweet and a romantic. Derrick might not be the most romantic guy out there, but he was a good boyfriend. It didn't matter that he was in love with Massie and always had been. Derrick put his all into his relationship with Dylan. Even if Dylan didn't. Of course, Claire didn't either. Olivia, the one who was torn between the two players, was the only one who really understood how to be in a relationship. She was the only one out of the three PC members who understood how to be a girlfriend. She understood love and loyalty. And people called her a dumb blonde-well she wasn't.

"And you know we're going to have to try and get back in Plovert, Kemp, and Cam's good books." Derrick said as he opened the door.

"I realize that. I hope you realize how much harder that's going to be," Josh nodded as he got out of the car.

"I do. But, they're worth it," Derrick said, smiling as he watched Massie get out of her limo and join her friends. And that was when all the drama began.

"Massie's back!" and other variations were whispered all across the grounds of the school.


	4. Chapter 4:Follow Me Down

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 4_**

_Here we are all crazy  
><em>_You don't have to worry  
>So follow me down (Where to?)<br>Outta this town (With you)  
>Girl you're moving way too slow<br>So follow me down (Which way?)_

Kemp Hurley was the star line backer on the BOCD football team. When he and the other Tommahawks had been rejected when they'd tried out for the soccer team, they'd chosen to use their talents elsewhere and had turned football into the most important sport the school had to offer. Kemp was the tallest kid in the school and with muscle mass of somebody double his age. His blonde afro had been cut down so the curls were close to his head and his dark eyes had just enough mischievous in them to make girls faint when they met his glance. He didn't smile-he only smirked. Well, he smiled when he was with her. Whenever she was around he'd burst out laughing and have an honest smile on his face. But she didn't realize the effect she had on him, because she'd sworn off relationships. Not that he could blame Kristen for it. She'd had terrible luck in the past with them. He'd been part of the reason. He hated himself for ruining his chances with the only girl worthwhile in the school, but how was he supposed to know how much she'd mean to him in seventh grade? He'd thought he'd never fall in love at that time.

He sighed as he straightened his Peyton Manning jersey that he'd paired with straight leg jeans and converse. Kemp made an effort to look nice. He wanted to impress her. He wanted her to want him. But that would never happen. Even if she hadn't sworn off relationships. He was a player. He was a jerk. He didn't do relationships. Everyone knew that.

"I can't believe you didn't realize you looked like Zefron in _Seventeen Again _before you left the house this morning," Kemp was teasing Chris Plovert, his best friend, as the boys sat in the cafe at Table 1-their lunch table. Dylan and her new PC and friends had taken claim of Table 18.

"I don't watch Zac Efron movies, unlike some people," Plovert shot back.

"But, dude, first the Bieber thing-remember how fast you went through hoodies, then? And then you had the whole Edward Cullen thing...and now Zefron! It's like you're asking to be attacked!" Kemp said.

"You make him sound gay," Cam muttered. Cam never spoke above a whisper now. He barely spoke at all, actually.

"I may make him sound it, but he doesn't look it when the girls come running," Kemp frowned, surveying the cafe. Once the girls got here, everything would be okay and Plovert wouldn't be at risk of being attacked. But if the other girls studied his new appearance for too long, it was done.

"Where are they?" Plovert whined.

"Is that...who's that at table 18?" Kemp squinted.

"I don't know, but she's hot. She looks familiar, but I'm not sure who she is," Plovert said. "But that's definitely Alicia and Kristen with her,"

"No...it can't be," Kemp frowned.

"It is. That's-"

"Massie," Cam said, speaking his first words that were actually audible and able to be understood in years. Actually, he'd screamed this. The girl turned around and smiled, waving them over. Her amber eyes were bright even from this distance.

_Pacing, walking  
>Clocks keep on talking<br>They sing-they sing  
>Gentleman and ladies<br>Animals and babies  
>We sing-we sing<em>

Chris Plovert had become a complete hottie as soon as he'd started football. He was a corner back and he was strong. He had muscles like Taylor Lautner, and nobody would even try to deny it. But, when he'd first had his transformation, back in 9th grade, he'd had long, shaggy, honey blonde hair that fell into his hazel eyes constantly. He was a Justin Bieber double. Especially with his fondness of baggy jeans and colorful sweatshirts with matching converse-it was comfortable! Girls had started to attack him in mobs to match the groups of screaming fans at a Justin Bieber concert. He realized he needed to stop this, and since Bieber was the key to it all, he got a new look right before sophomore year. Unfortunately, with the release of the final Twilight movie, Edward Cullen and Robert Pattinson were suddenly the IT factors. And with Chris' new dye job and cut...well, his hair was a darker shade of blonde and styled in a mess of spikes. His new fashion sense was a lot more chic as well, with straight leg jeans and button down shirts, the occassional polo shirt. He was Edward Cullen with a tan. And that wasn't good. Now, right before junior year, he'd cut off all of his and went back to his old color. He'd bought a fresh stock of plain tee shirts or simple graphic ones and straight leg, slightly skinny jeans. And a leather jacket. Little did he know, Zac Efron was making a come back. And his new appearance was like the scene when Zac gets the make-over in _Seventeen Again. _That meant another year of attacks.

But, the girls were too afraid of Alicia and Kristen to ever crowd around him when they were around. So, for right now, he was safe.

"KEMP!" Massie squealed, jumping up and wrapping her arms around him. "PLOVERT! You look amazing!" She gushed, hugging him next. "And Cam," She stepped back to study him. "Oh, how I've missed you Cat Eyes," She grinned.

"Come here," He shook his head, reaching out to hug her.

Plovert frowned. That was it. Claire wasn't the key to Cam's happiness. It was Massie-his best friend. If he really thought about it, Cam's spiral to this depression hadn't started in ninth grade when Claire had dumped him. It had started towards the middle of eighth grade, right after Massie had left. And it made sense. Cam and Claire had never had a perfect relationship. But Cam and Massie had always been best friends, they'd always been there for one another. So why wouldn't he be upset when she was gone and never bothered to contact any of them afterwards.

"I'm mad at you," Cam told her as she sat back down.

"Why?"

"You never called," He frowned.

"You never answered," She shot back. Plovert frowned. Had Massie tried to contact Cam? "Derrick said you changed your number," Massie frowned.

"Never listen to Derrick. He's on the dark side," Kemp whispered.

_Down-down-down  
><em>_Down-Down  
>Take me-Take me<br>Outta here  
>It makes me<br>Feel So-Feel so_

Cam Fisher had been depressed since Massie had left for London. He'd started wearing skinny jeans, not caring what anyone said. He wore grey tee shirts and black sweatshirts with wholes through the sleeves for his thumbs. He couldn't wear color-it all reminded him of her. Pink was the color of her lips. Red was the color of her cheeks when she blushed. Orange was the color of her eyes. Yellow was too close to the high lights she had. Green was the color of emeralds, her favorite gem. Blue was the color of the eye she told him she liked best. And purple...well, that was her favorite color. He couldn't listen to music without thinking about her. And soccer was a definite no. That brought back too many memories. So Cam had become an empty shell of his former shelf. He couldn't find a reason to smile and nothing made him laugh. He couldn't bring himself to talk for a while and when he finally was able to, he had to whisper or else it hurt too much.

But now, Massie was back and it was like she'd never left. She was teasing him and flirting with Kemp and Plovert like it was nothing. She was sitting there like a queen while she giggled and gossiped with Alicia and Kristen. And she looked amazing.

"Why Claire?" Massie asked suddenly, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"Why Claire? Why'd you pick her?"

"I had an option?" Cam frowned.

"I liked you. I liked you before Claire did," Massie said simply. This was different. She was admitting defeat. And she was asking why.

"I never knew that...if I'd known...god Mass, it was never Claire. It was you. It was always you. I just thought...I thought if I couldn't have you than I needed to move on and I couldn't do that unless I had the exact opposite of you." He frowned.

"Why didn't you think I liked you?" She frowned.

"Derrick," He shrugged.

"Don't you know never to trust Derrick by now?" Massie asked, head tilted to the side slightly. "So? What's it gonna be? Are you gonna kiss me or what?" She smirked. And Cam answered her with a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5:Girl Next Door

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><strong>**_A Clique Fan Fiction_  
>Chapter 5<strong>

_Perfect skin, perfect hair  
>Perfume hearts everywhere<br>Tell myself that inside she's ugly  
>Maybe I'm just jealous<br>I can't help but hate her  
>Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her <em>

Dylan Marvil walked into the cafe with Olivia and Claire on either side of her. She was never alone-she made sure of it. While Massie hated being alone because it made her look like an LBR, Dylan hated being alone because she couldn't stand it. It made her paranoid. She started walking towards her usual lunch table, carefully listening to the gossip from the people around her. At the punk-rocker table there were Meena and Heather Norris, the twins of BOCD and Layne Abely's ex-best friends. Meena and Heather had their hair dyed so dark that it was almost blue and they had bright blue streaks through it. Their grey eyes were covered with pink contact lenses. Today they wore fishnet tights under black leather shorts with black and red stripped off the shoulder long sleeve shirts with holes for their thumbs. Black combat boots were on their feet, like always. Griffin Hastings sat there as well, dressed in dark skinny jeans with a grey and white pin stripped button down tee shirt while Eli and Tristan Jonas who each had long, spiky black hair and bright green eyes with pale skin. They wore the same outfit as Griffin, who just so happened to be their idol.

The rockers were talking about something and normally Dylan wouldn't bother to figure out what it was, but when she heard Massie's name, she had to know.

"I can't believe it. She's back and Cam's back to his old self," Meena was saying.

"I know, right? I can't believe the effect she has on people," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Well if I dressed like a slut and acted like one, I'd probably have that effect too," Layne spoke up from the corner where she always was, by herself. Layne's hair was streaked with colorful extensions and her eyes were covered with dark make-up. She wore black leather skinny jeans with a black fishnet top over a red camisole. The fact that she was commenting on anyone else's sluttiness made Dylan want to giggle, but since she was insulting Massie, she forced herself to hold it in.

Dylan kept walking, passing the table where the brainiacs sat. Kori Geldman, Coral McAdams, Krista Basset and Brianna Grossman sat there with Saylene Homer. Each girl had a different shade of brown hair and dull eyes. They wore no make-up and all wore plaid skirts with button downs or denim skirts with polo shirts.

"I heard she's dating Cam-and that he only ever dated Claire because Derrick told him Massie liked Derrick. Because Derrick liked Massie," Kori was saying.

"Yeah, and Dylan was being used by Derrick to get to Massie and she wouldn't believe it," Coral giggled.

"I'm glad Massie's back. There'll finally be some class," Krista shot the PC a distasteful look as they passed the table. Dylan tuned out after that. People were talking about Massie-people were talking about things that had happened years ago and shoulder have long sense been forgotten.

Jena Drezner, Jaedra Russel, Becca Wilder, Suze Gayner, Mandy Ross, and Vanessa Covers were at the next table where the soccer girls sat. They each wore short shorts with a different soccer uniform and puma sneakers. Their conversation wasn't about Massie. But it was still important to Dylan.

"I'm so glad Kristen's the captain this year." Jena gushed.

"It's gonna be helpful for Massie that she's got Kristen, the brainiac and the star athlete as a best friend," Becca agreed.

"She'd love Kristen anyways though," Mandy defended.

"Of course she would, but we all know Massie's going to rise to the top by, like, tomorrow," Suze shrugged.

"And her friends being Kristen and Alicia is definitely a bonus," Vanessa nodded.

Dylan sped up a little, passing the next table and barely taking time to register in the Burberry girls' ensembles. THe Burberry girls were Ava Waters, Parker Lemons, Amanda Levine, and Thao Lu. All girls had black hair and dark eyes. At the next table were the gossip girls-Emily Espin, Carrie Randolph, Penelope Rothman, and Erica Lunsky. The next table held the artsty girls-Dara Summet, Candance Shepard, Kaya Horner, Kimmy Rosen, Jessin Rowan, and Kami Kauffman. They kept walking, right past the diet-obsessed girls-Emily Kohn, Marta Williams, Paige Winman, Mindy Baum, and Payton Lauwrie. The cheerleaders were next-Livvy Collins, Allie-Rose Singer, Suze Gellert, Aimee Colt, Debby Wezzler and Carrie Drebin. Carly Cooper and Britton Daniels were on their way over to join their friends.

"Nobody's looking at us," Claire said through clenched teeth.

"Nobody's talking about us," Olivia whispered.

"Shut up and keep walking," Dylan hissed. "ANN-MARIA BLANC! How was your summer," Dylan gushed as she approached the fashionista table. Livid Altman, Cindy Bennet, Cookie Holsen, and Alexis Higgins sat there as well. Nobody responded to Dylan's presence at the table. "Go mingle," She hissed to Olivia and Claire.

Claire hurried towards the sluts' table, complimenting Natalie Nussbaum, Denver Gold, and Michelle Powers on their outfits. A dull, polite thank-you was muttered but nothing else. Olivia walked over towards the goody-goody table, smiling at Liz Goldman, Mindee Wilson, Ann Fox, and Elise West. She asked how their summer was. They kept talking amongst themselves.

"To the table," Dylan yanked their arms and started pulling them towards Table 18, but there was a crowd around the table. Noel Durkins, Amber Ryan, Audrey Capeos, Carolyn Rothstein, Jesi Rowan and Deena Geyser were surrounding the people who were already seated at table 18.

"There's already people there," Olivia pointed out.

"I know," Dylan snapped.

"Hey Dyl," Massie grinned, dismissing her fan club with a smile and a queen-like wave. "Long time no see, right triple B," She said pleasantly. Dylan froze, a cold sweat working its way up. Nobody had called her a triple B-nobody had dared-in years. She hadn't been called one since 8th grade.

"What's a triple B?" Derrick asked, taking his spot next to Dylan. Dune and Dempsey had flanked themselves at either side of Olivia while Josh stood by Claire.

"A big boned beta," Massie smiled. "But now she's a Double BO...or maybe a BBOBS," Massie said cheerfully. "A big boned omega or a big boned omega boyfriend stealer," Massie said. "Now, you can go now-you're much too close to me," Massie waved them away, her smile never leaving her face. "Oh, and Derrick...it's good to see you again," She said, all hints of sarcasm gone.

"Yeah, you too Mass," He said, grinning slightly at her as he turned to leave, Dylan dragging him away.

"Bye Derrick," Massie called flirtily over her shoulder. Dylan crossed her arms as she plopped at the nearest empty table.

"I hate her," She seethed. She was worried now. She was losing her popularity-and, if she wasn't careful, she'd lose Derrick too. She saw how they'd looked at each other and it didn't work for her.


	6. Chapter 6:Lips of an Angel

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 6_**

_Well, my girls' in the next room  
>Somtimes I wish she was you<br>I guess we never really moved on  
>It's really good to hear your voice<br>Say my name-It sounds so sweet  
>Coming from the lips of an angel<em>

Derrick Harrington was officially Derrington to the entire school-except for with his friends. And, now that she'd returned, with Massie, the only girl that mattered to him. He didn't care that he'd had his arm wrapped around Dylan when he'd first seen Massie since her return from London. He was constantly wishing that Dylan was Massie. He wanted Massie to be there when he opened his eyes after a kiss and he wanted Massie to run her hands through his hair when she was teasing him. He was always stuck living in memories because all he could think about was how amazing those few months with Massie had been, back in seventh grade. And he could have gotten her back, but he tensed up and embarrassed her. Then, he tried using Dylan again to get close to Massie, and it had backfired. He'd actually forced Massie to move on. And then he was stuck with Dylan. Which worked, because all he needed was to get over Massie and Dylan was nothing like Massie. Well, she hadn't been back then. And from the look Massie had been giving Derrick, even while she was sitting side by side with Cam, holding his hand, he knew that Massie was still in love with him. Maybe it was just because Derrick was her first love, but either way, that look gave her hope. Massie was still holding a special place for him in her heart. And when she'd said his name...well, it had just sounded _so _good. Dylan always whispered it, leaning in close and lowering her voice...but Massie's had been different. It was still soft, but she wasn't trying to be sexy. She was saying it like he was a long lost friend, one who meant a lot more to her than she'd care to admit. And any word that came from her mouth was sweet...because she was his angel. And nothing could be awful if it came from the lips of an angel.

"Dylan, we need to talk," Derrick sighed, stopping at her locker, leaning against the one next to hers.

"What about?" She frowned, rummaging through her locker for something.

"Our relationship," He said slowly, trying to be careful not to say Massie. If he said that, Dylan would spread some sort of vicsious rumor about her. And Derrick would hate it if he was the cause of a rumor that could ruin Massie's life.

"What about it?" She slammed her locker shut, turning to face him, glaring.

"It's not working," He shook his head.

"Because you're still in love with Massie?" Dylan frowned. She didn't look mad. She looked more...upset. "And I can't blame you. I still wish I could be her friend. But I ruined that. You...you can still pick her. And I can't blame you for taking that option. I just wish I could too," Dylan sighed.

"You don't mean that," Derrick frowned at her.

"I don't? She was my best friend!"

"So was Alicia and you told the entire school she slept with Josh! You're the one who caused their break-up! You ruined Alicia's life-you destroyed Cam...you wreck everything Dylan and then, when somebody wants to get away from you, you put on this whole guilt trip about how you regret it!" He glared at her. He knew it was hurtful, but she deserved it. "Massie was a lot of things, but she was never mean. SHe was never a bitch-not when she could help it, at least. But you seem to go out of your way to do it." Derrick shook his head.

"You're breaking up with me for Massie-who's with Cam now-and you just want me to be like okay? Or do you want me to beg you to stay? I'm not the one that's wrong here! You are!" Dylan snapped.

"Dylan, the world doesn't revolve around you!" Derrick yelled, punching a locker before storming off.

"BUT IT REVOLVES AROUND MASSIE RIGHT?" Dylan screamed after him. But he didn't turn around. He just kept walking. Dylan shook her head and turned on her heel, hurrying from the school and to her car as fast as possible. Her life was crumbling around her. And it was all because of Massie. Maybe...just maybe, when Massie had first returned, Dylan had wished things were different and that she could still be Massie's best friend, but not anymore. Massie was ruining her life and Dylan would never forgive her.

**~...~**

_But boy you make it hard to be faithful-with the lips of an angel  
>It's funny that you're calling me tonight<br>And yes I've dreamt of you too  
>Does she know you're talking to me<br>Will it start a fight  
>No I don't think he has a clue<em>

Massie Block picked up her phone as she worked on her Pre-Calc homework, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello?" She asked cheerfully, grabbing the remote to her stereo and hitting PAUSE on the GLEE cover she was listening to.

"Massie?" A soft, deep, husky voice whispered back. "It's me...Derrington," He said.

"Derrick?" She whispered, leaning back against her pillows and spreading her legs out in front of her, kicking her books to the ground. She flexed her pale purple toes and then unflexed them. "You shouldn't be calling me. Does Dylan know?" She asked. All day, she hadn't been able to focus on Cam. Her relationship with Cam seemed like it was just...there, while she kept thinking about her relationship with Derrick. It didn't make sense. He'd broken her heart. Cam had been there the entire time. But, Massie had never liked the easy way. She's always been a fan of a challenge. And that's what Derrick had always supplied in her. "Listen, I don't want to start a fight between you and Dylan," Massie said, even though she already knew she had. Word spread fast around BOCD and everyone knew that Derrick and Dylan had gotten into a fight because of Massie.

"Dylan's not my girlfriend anymore," Derrick said back.

"You guys broke up? Crap, Derrick-everybody knows it was because of _me! _And I'm with Cam!" Massie glanced around her room, hoping nobody could hear her. She was positive that nobody could-her mother's room was on the other side of their ranch-styled house. They could have moved back to their old house, but they'd wanted a fresh slate.

"I know...and it's good for him. But-does he know?"

"Cam's not in the grape vine like I am. I don't think he knows anything about it." Massie shook her head.

"Listen, Mass, ever since we broke-up, I've wanted you back. It was a mistake to dump you. And then I humilated you when I should have been begging for you back. And then I used Dylan and got myself into a total mess." He said.

"Wait...you were using Dylan-the whole time?" Massie froze.

"Break up with Cam. Give me another chance," He begged.

"I can't do that to Cam. I love you Derrick, but...but I can't hurt Cam like that. I'm sorry," Massie shook her head before she hung up.


	7. Chapter 7:Bad

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><span>A Clique Fan<span> Fiction  
><em>Chapter 7<em>**

**__**_It feels just like it was yesterday-we were in love  
><em>_Why's it falling apart  
>I've never been one to walk away<br>But I've had enough and it's breaking my heart  
>Cause you love me just the way that you should<br>It's nothing that you do, no it's nothing that you say_

Josh Hotz hadn't been able to stop thinking about Alicia since lunch today. It was a good thing he hadn't had football practice, or he would have been kicked off the team from lack of focus. The memories of his two year long relationship-almost three years-with the Spanish beauty just kept flooding back to him. It seemed like it hadn't been years, but just a few days since they'd first fallen in love. And it was all falling apart-no, that wasn't true. It had fallen apart years ago. It hadn't been right in forever. But Josh didn't know what had driven the split, besides the rumor that Dylan had spread...because Alicia had told her. He didn't get why Alicia would lie about that. It just didn't make sense. Josh wasn't one to walk away, unless he was sure he wouldn't lose what he was walking away from, but from the second he'd broken up with Alicia and left, he'd known that the hardest part was going to be that no matter how slowly he left, she wouldn't chase after him. And after a while, he'd had enough of the desperate waiting-it had broken his heart right in two, but like the Script had said, when a heart breaks, it doesn't break even. And now he was with Claire...who loved him in all the ways a girlfriend should...but it wasn't right. It wasn't anything she said that bothered him, and it definitely wasn't anything she did. It was more of the fact that she just wasn't Alicia.

Alicia would tease him. Alicia would joke around with him. Alicia would ignore his calls and she was always out. Their love was crazy and different...it was like teenage love before its time. No matter what, Alicia always got her way in the end and he loved that about her, even though he always knew that after each and ever party, he'd be going home alone because Alicia just wasn't like that. He liked how they could get into a fight and then go to a party and just dance and have fun all night...before going home and still being in a cold silence because they'd never made up. He didn't want a logical relationship like his and Claire's was. He liked how he and Alicia shook things up. Long story short, he wanted Alicia Rivera, all of her-everyday, for as long as he lived. Alicia was the only thing that made life worth while...that was what he went to school for. He wouldn't deny it. It was true.

And Claire...well Claire was still in love with Cam, even if she wouldn't admit it. She hated seeing him so miserable and now she hated seeing him happy with Massie. She wanted him with her. But, even she'd admit that sometimes it was better to have the person you loved happy with somebody else than miserable with you.

Josh wasn't an amazing guy and he knew that. He wasn't the ideal boyfriend...but he was with Claire now and he was going to give it his all. He would never neglect her just because his heart belonged to somebody else. But he realized how unfair it was to be in love with Alicia while dating one of her ex-best friends. It wasn't fair to Claire. It wasn't fair to Cam. It wasn't fair to Alicia and definitely wasn't fair to himself. So, he was going to end this.

He pulled his black BMW-brand new, with black leather interior-his pride and joy...into Alicia's driveway. He needed to talk to her first. He'd get over Alicia eventually, but he needed to hear from her lips that she didn't love him anymore. And if he heard that, he'd be okay staying with Claire, because then they'd be equal. He slid out of his car and walked towards the house, knocking on the door. Alicia opened the door. He was sure she would. Her parents weren't home.

"Hey...Josh...what are you doing here?" She asked, a smile on her face as she looked down at her outfit-a pair of black cotton shorts, rolled at the waist, and a white tank top. Her hair was piled on her head and falling into her face. She looked beautiful.

"I don't want to be with Claire. I want to be with you. I want my friends back. And I want you. I want you so bad...I love you. But if you don't love me, than just tell me so I can force myself to get rid of that shred of hope I have that we'll still be together in some way. Just, please...break it to me hard. I've always been the type of guy who liked-"But Josh never got to finish that sentence because Alicia reached out and kissed him as he spoke.

"Does that answer your question?" Alicia giggled.

"I guess I shouldn't ask to come in..."Josh trailed off.

"Idiot," Alicia socked him playfully in the arm.

"A guy can dream, can't he?" Josh sighed.

"You can come in. But we're not going to do anything," Alicia said slowly.

"I guess I can live with that. I mean, my last shred of hope worked...maybe this one will too," He smiled as he stepped into the house.

"You wish," Alicia said, kicking him in the butt as she closed the door behind him.

"Of course I do," He winked at her, grabbing her hand and pulling her close.

"In your dreams," She whispered, enjoying every second of being close to him again.

"Every night," He said. And that's when Alicia remembered...Claire.

"What about Claire?" Alicia asked, pushing him away slightly.

"What about her?"

"She's your girlfriend!" Alicia was hoping he'd say they'd broken up.

"Not for long," Josh shook his head.

"You're still dating her! And you came here...get out." Alicia glared at him, crossing her arms. "GET OUT!" She screamed, opening the door and shoving him, hard. "GET OUT!" She screamed as she slammed the door in his face. Josh shook his head as he walked towards his car. "I'M NEVER TAKING YOU BACK YOU JACK-"Alicia shouted, opening the door just a crack. Josh got into his car, right before she finished her insult. It would hurt too much to have heard it.


	8. Chapter 8:Before He Cheats

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 8_**

_And he's thinking that he's gonna get lucky  
>Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom cologne<br>__Oh and he don't know that I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little souped up 4-wheel drive  
><em>_I carved my name into his leather seats  
>I took a Louisevill slugger to both head lights-slashed a hole in all four tires<br>__Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

Alicia Rivera did not lose. She didn't know how. So, about an hour after Josh left, she slid into her mom's car, the black Legacy that Josh had never seen before. All of her hair swept into a messy ponytail with a black berret. She wore the darkest denim skinny jeans she could find and slipped on Kemp Hurley's Tommahawks navy blue sweatshirt. Kemp was her best friend out of all the guys and always had been. He was always leaving stuff at her house and she usually held onto it for when some Kemp-obsessed girl claimed she was his new girlfriend. Alicia showing up at school in something belonging to Kemp swayed her perspective just a little.

Alicia drove slowly towards Josh's house, parking on the street. His parents were at the same event as her parents so they wouldn't be home until midnight-at the earliest. At charity events like this one, the later you stayed, the better impression you left. And since Kendra Block was back, Josh's gossip obsessed mother could be there for hours, trying to get out the story of where William Block was. Not that Kendra would ever tell her-and Nadia Rivera, Alicia's mother, would never even allow Josh's mom to get close to a right answer. Nadia was a lot like Alicia like that-a very loyal best friend.

People had assumed that Alicia would ruin the image Massie had worked for with the PC, but Massie had trusted her. Alicia, even when she'd thought she could be better as an Alpha, had always been loyal to Massie. Sure, she'd rebelled a little, but she'd always come back and admitted that Massie deserved to be an Alpha. But Dylan...Dylan had always had a thirst for power. Alicia knew how hard Massie's job was and she knew if it hadn't been for Massie's drive to lead, the girls would all still be loners at OCD, with insecurities and nobody to depend on. Alicia would still be second best to Skye Hamilton, who hadn't even realized that Alpha Academy was all a hoax for a reality show. Kristen would still be a shy, nerdy nobody who did whatever her cousin asked. Dylan would still think she was perfect and that she was God's gift from above...

"Oh wait, that's _exactly _what she thinks right now. She's such a...a...I don't even know, but I hate her. And I hate Claire. And Olivia. I even hate Josh," She muttered as she walked up Josh's driveway and entered the passcode-the seat number of Josh's first Yankees game's seat-before slipping into the garage and smirking at Josh's prescious car. That car was like his baby-it was everything to him.

And Alicia smirked as she slid her car keys from her pocket, digging them deep into the fresh, perfect paint job.

_"I love you," He whispered as they kissed. It was at her end of the year party in eighth grade and it was the first time he'd ever said those words to her. "I'll love you forever...I will always be here for you. I promise."_

LIAR she spelled out across the drivers side door. His car was only a two door car.

_"What about Claire?" She asked.  
>"What about her?"<br>__"She's your girlfriend..."  
>"Not for long,"<br>"You're still with her?" _

She moved onto the other side. CHEATER she dug each letter out carefully on the passenger door.

She reached for the door handle and had to bit back a laugh. How stupid was he? He'd left the door unlocked? Idiot. She rolled her eyes as she leaned into the backseat, digging the keys onto the back of the seats, spelling out her name, even dotting the I with a heart. How adorable! She smirked at the irony. She slid back out of the car and glanced around the garage...and smiled. She walked towards the shelves that held all of Josh's old baseball equipment. He wasn't good enough to play on a team, but he'd played when he was younger. He grabbed his autographed Yankees bat and walked towards the headlights. She was actually pretty good at baseball-thanks to father-daughter bonding day at the batting cages. With two perfect swings, the headlights were smashed. Then she dropped to her knees and used the wine-opener on her key chain to slash a hole in the tires. She knew there was reason for keeping that gift she'd gotten from her Spanish cousins around. They seemed to forget she couldn't drink legally here in America.

"Maybe he'll think before he lies and cheats next time around," She shrugged, admiring her work as she strolled out of the garage and casually walked down the driveway. Even after committing a crime, she refused to run. Some things would never change. She slid back into her car and grabbed her phone, dialing Massie's number.

"Hey girl," Massie said, but her usual energy was gone.

"What's wrong?"

"Derrick just called...he broke up with Dylan for me...and...well, you know," Massie sighed. "Tell me a good story? Cheer me up?" Massie said with a small laugh.

"I just totally went all Carrie Underwood on Josh's car," Alicia said.

"_Before He Cheats _style?" Massie asked. Alicia had her full attention now.

"Is there any other way?" Alicia asked with a laugh.

"Nice...but why?" Massie wondered. So Alicia filled her on.

"That arse deserved it," Massie said, laughing along with Alicia. Massie was constantly using British phrases now, and she even had a slight accent. Which didn't really work with her country style, but Massie could pull anything off. "Oh, Leesh, we are _so _in for it tomorrow!" Massie said, but she wasn't worried. She was cheerful.


	9. Chapter 9:Do Ya Thang

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 9_**

_See I know you like being round chicks and looking at her hips and her lil 'ol figure  
>What can I say-that's what I love about you babe<br>Yeah I don't ask cause I know you're gonna lie  
>You're way to sexy to ever be shy<br>Hey what can I say-that's what I love about you babe  
>Go 'head-do ya thang<em>

It didn't big Kristen that Kemp Hurley, the guy she'd been into since seventh grade, liked to check out other girls, even though he claimed to be in love with her. Really, she was fine with it-honestly. She wasn't lying. She swore! Kemp was just that type of guy-he enjoyed watching a girl walk by and studying the way her hips swayed and her barely there outfit. He loved to check out girls with all different figures. There was nothing she could to change those facts. She didn't even bother asking him anymore when a sexy girl walked by in a slutty outfit because she knew he'd lie. And he was way to sexy to ever be shy if the opportunity to flirt aroused. Kemp Hurley wasn't like that. He wasn't shy! Of course he wasn't. He was bold and a pervert-he was a player and everyone knew it. But, what was she supposed to say? She actually sort of liked those qualities about him. So, she shrugged, allowing him to do his thing as she sat with him in the Cafe the next day, waiting for their friends.

And she sighed as Olivia Ryan strutted by wearing a short, stretchy, hot pink tube top dress that barely covered her ass. Didn't Kemp get that she stuffed her bra? Everyone knew that! Alicia had seen her doing it at dance class. Kemp just stared at her butt though, and the space between the bottom of her dress and her knee high, black, spiky heeled leather boots. Claire was right at Olivia's side, whispering to her and giggling, her fire red skirt even shorter than Olivia's dress, if impossible, with a black tube top and red leather thigh high boots. It was a wonder they got to stay in school-if Kristen wore something like that, she'd get sent home for the day. But, Dylan Marvil always got what she wanted and since her black top with the plunging neck line and black matching super short skirt with golden ankle boots was the worst, it was no wonder. Kristen crossed her arms and angrily bit into her hamburger as Kemp's eyes followed the threesome.

"It's so funny how people still copy Nina even after it was realized how she was just jealous of me and my friends the entire time..."Kristen observed. She'd had enough. She wasn't going to just sit here and let it happen. She'd stand up for herself and her good-girl ways.

"Somebody's a little jealous-and what's worse with their outfits than yours?" Kemp turned his attention back to Kristen, studying the low v-neck of her cut-up, old Luke Bryan tee shirt and the shortness of her dark wash denim cut-off Sevens that she'd cut herself. She was wearing the outfit with sneakers. Simple and casual-that was her.

"There's no 'I' in slut or ugly, but there is a 'u'," Kristen muttered, remembering Alicia's motto from after Dylan had spread that rumor about her.

"What's a slut? Somebody who has sex? Does that make a girl less of a person? What? And you're so much higher of a person just because you're still a virgin? Oh wait-you aren't, are you? I forgot. Kristen, maybe you're just jealous," He frowned.

"You know what a slut is?" Kristen crossed her arms. She was done with him. How dare he say that to her. Especially when he knew...especially after...but no...he was Kemp the jerk and she was silly for ever thinking otherwise. "It's a girl with the morals of a man!" She snapped as she pushed her chair back, grabbed her bag and stormed off.

"What's going on? Trouble in paradise?" Dylan smirked as Kristen passed her table on her way to the door. "I guess the ugly girls just don't have as much luck in love as we do," Dylan smirked.

"Oh please, I could wipe of about 90% of your beauty with a napkin. If you're going to be a two-face, why don't you try and make one of them pretty?" Kristen snapped. She'd put up with Dylan for a long time and she wasn't going to anymore. Dylan was always out to hurt her. She'd been pleasant because they'd been best friends at one point, well-not anymore. Kristen was going to be a cold hearted bitch from now on. "You're not popular. But, I'm not going to call you a slut, but, well, let's just say that if your legs had a password before they spread, yours would be 1-2-3-4," Kristen smirked.

"I'm not a slut," Dylan glared.

"Oh, you're not? So, are you like a volunteer prostitute or something than?" Kristen asked sweetly. "Listen to me very carefully. Your body's supposed to be a temple. Not a theme park," She said before turning on her heel and walking off.

"At least I didn't sleep with Griffin Hastings!" Dylan shouted out after her. She walked quickly now, knowing the tears were coming.

She didn't even hear Kemp chasing after her. She didn't know he was there until he'd caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

"What? Listen, I'm sorry I can't be the type of girl you want, okay? I'm sorry! But I'm not going to lower my standards and be a slut like them. I can't...it's not me. And if that's what you want, than I guess I need to move on," She whispered.

"Move on? Kristen...oh Kristen, you're so stupid-you're brilliant, but you're stupid. I've been in love with you since eighth grade but there was always somebody else. And than when I had my chance, you gave up relationships."

"You...love me?" She whispered.

"Why else would I beat the crap out of Griffin after what he did last year? Why else would I beat up any guy who looked at you for too long? Why else do I want to go tear Dylan's head off? The only thing stopping me is the fact that she's a girl-even if that is debatable," He said and grinned as soon as she started to smile. "Now, come here, dry your tears, and kiss me," He said, reaching out and pulling her close. She hadn't even realized she was crying.

"I don't hook up Kemp," She whispered, her voice hoarse.

"I know. But you can always kiss your boyfriend. That's allowed," He nodded and Kristen smiled, some of the light coming back to her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10:Who Run The World

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><em>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 10**

_Who run the world? Girls!  
>Some of them men think they freak this like we do<br>But no they don't  
>Make your cheque come at the neck<br>Disrespect us? No they won't!  
>This goes out to all my girls thats in the club rocking the latest<em>

"What happened between you and Griffin?" Massie asked Kristen as the girls piled into her Mercedes, her pride and joy in a glorious, dark shade of purple with pale purple entirior. The car was a convertible. The boys were all at football practice, with the exception of Cam who was at his guitar lesson. The girls had a glorious two hours before they lost Kristen to her date with Kemp and Alicia to her dance lessons and Massie went off to do...well, whatever it was Massies did in their free time.

"It was at Dylan's end of the year party in ninth grade," Kristen whispered, glancing around to make sure nobody could hear them, but of course, the parking lot was empty. "He wasn't really emo or whatever he was right now-he was really sweet and funny...and I was upset because Kemp was dating Allie-Rose Singer and he was talking to me...and I should have known something was up. We hadn't talked since seventh grade at Skye's party and now he was just staring at my chest-I was in that navy string bikini, with the blue heart on the boob?" Kristen said to Alicia.

"Oh god," Alicia whispered.

"And he could see I was about to cry so he brought me into the house, away from the big crowds and he kept giving me something to drink, but I thought it was just water-it was vodka...and then he took me up to one of the rooms because Kemp and Allie were making out right in front of me...god it hurt so bad," Kristen whimpered. "But nothing compared with what he did. I didn't want it Mass-I wanted him to go away-I begged and I cried...I screamed for help but he was too strong. Can you imagine that? Too strong for me? The girl who beat up Derrick Harrington? Kristen gave off a bitter laugh. "And then Kemp came storming in-he practically broke the door down, and he just looked at me and he looked so sad, but then he saw my face and he grabbed Griffin...god, I never saw Kemp so mad. I thought he was going to kill him. And Allie was pissed-I mean, her boyfriend was defending me...what do you expect?" Kristen was looking anywhere but at Massie and Alicia in the front seat. "And ever since that Kemp's always been there for me...and Allie's been out to get Kemp back and get back at me. That vengence is probably doubled now. But Griffin turned into what he is now after that. I'm not sure what Kemp did to him after he brought me home, but I know he didn't break Griffin's arm at the party-that happened afterwards," Kristen finished her story.

"Oh Kris!" Massie gasped. "I should have been here! I should have been here for you." Massie whispered. "I hate my dad. God I hate him. Leesh, did anything happen to you while I was gone?" She asked, turning sharply at Alicia. "Like, where that scar's from?" Massie asked, pointing towards the long, pale scar that ran across Alicia's otherwise tan arm. Another scar was on her face, right on her cheek, going all the way to the corner of her mouth.

"That was my own fault," Alicia shook her head. "I was pissed at Josh, I was drunk, I drove off the side of the road because it was icy and I'd been drinking. It was just me being stupid," Alicia shook her head.

"I hate that I wasn't here. I hate that Dylan had the power to do this to my friends. And I hate that the guys were this stupid. I hate that I wasn't here and it's all my dad's fault." Massie glared.

"Hermia told us it was for the best," Alicia said weakly.

"Hermia's full of shit," Massie rolled her eyes. "She gave us good advice once and hasn't ever since." Massie glared out the windshield and shook her head. She should have been here to help her friends. Massie was a good friend, if nothing else, and she prided herself on that. Alicia and Kristen had always been there for her. Now she'd failed them. She hadn't been around when they'd needed her. She knew there was more they weren't telling her. She knew from the marks on Kristen's arms and from the weird look Alicia got whenever alchohol was mentioned. She hated her father for taking her away when she was needed so terribly by her only true, loyal, best friends. But, she was going to make it all up them. "I don't know if I want to get back at Dylan or the guys first..."Massie shook her head as she put on the radio. The new Beyonce song, _Run The World, _was on,. She smirked.

"Well, if Beyonce insists," She shrugged.

"Whaddya mean?" Alicia asked.

"We're going to get back at the boys, because in case you haven't noticed-_we _run the world," Massie smirked.

"I don't get it," Kristen frowned.

"We're girls. And girls run the world-but we're the sexy girls with the brains who know how to get our way. So, meet at my place in the spa at seven-I'll have something delivered and we'll have a sleep over while we discuss strategies," Massie smiled as she changed her course, heading towards Kristen's house. "And don't worry-I've got it all figured out already. In fact, if we play our cards right, we can handle everyone we need to in one swift movement," Massie smiled, pulling into Kristen's driveway. "Have fun with Kemp-and whatever you do, do _not _mention what we're planning. Guys are bigger gossips than girls are," Massie smiled reassuringly as she skid out of the driveway and sped towards Alicia's. She had a lot of work to do to have everything ready by the time her friends got home. "And you just better keep your mouth shut little miss reporter," Massie teased as she pulled into Alicia's driveway. Alicia smiled and shook her head as she got out of the car, barely getting her balance before Massie was gone.


	11. Chapter 11:I Hate the Homecoming Queen

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 11_**

_She's got 2 boyfriends and 3 wanna-bes, they follow her around like she's aphrodite  
><em>_She's number one rated but she's already jaded and she's following the trends in her Mercedes Benz  
>Everyone wants to know her name-walking down the hall she's every guy's dream<br>I hate the homecoming queen-I'm pretty damn sure she can't stand me  
>She thinks she's on the cover of a magazine<br>I hate the homecoming queen_

Dylan Marvil had hated Massie Block with a dying passion since ninth grade at the homecoming dance where she'd won the crown without even being a student at the school. It had humilated Dylan, taking the crown after it had already been named as Massie's. It had killed her to force a smile and make her way towards the stage, accepting the crown and dancing with the king. Of course, technically neither had been king or queen-that title was saved for seniors. They'd been named prince and princess. The only good thing that had come from that dance was the hook-up she'd had with the king afterwards, due to his fight with the queen. Sure, she'd been used, but once news had spread, she'd been the best. She'd been Dylan Marvil-the most popular girl in the school. Sure, it had been lame to start the rumor about herself and spread it around via text message from an untraceable number, but desparate times call for desparate measures. And that's exactly what Dylan had done when she was at her lowest. With that rumor, she'd almost risked her relationship with Derrick, but she worked hard to fix that-meaning she found her ways to keep him there, with threats to ruin him. With that rumor, she'd gone right ahead and dumped Alicia and Kristen to the side and never thought twice about it. It had only taken one extra rumor, about Alicia, to push them all neatly to the side, no baggage-keeping Claire, the naive girl who was so easy to control and Olivia, who would do anything she said. Derrick, with his brute strength, had 'convinced' Josh to remain at his side and Olivia's...attractiveness, had gotten Dempsey and Dune.

It wasn't like Dylan didn't feel anymore remorse though. Of course she did! She missed Alicia at times just like she missed Kristen, but they were so worried about making sure _Massie _stayed on everyone's mind. Massie's legacy couldn't be damaged. Massie's idea of alphatude couldn't be changed. Massie this and Massie that. So, she had to get rid of them. If Derrick didn't do such a good job of covering up his Massie obsession, she'd feel the same about him. But, she needed him so when he slipped up, she chose to ignore it. After all, one of Massie's number one neauty rules had been curls before girls-meaning, beauty before friends and popularity before all. Which meant Massie would be doing anything to get to the top again...anything. Dylan's eyes snapped open and she popped forward, grabbing Derrick around the neck and pulling him close to her, kissing him deeply, twisting them until she was lying on top of him. She reached towards his shirt and tugged it off before sliding down and pulling at his jeans.

"No," He whispered through the kiss but Dylan shook her head. She must have heard him wrong. He'd never say no to sex. He wouldn't-especially with her. She was too good at it.

"What?"She whispered softly, putting her mouth close to his ear.

"No," He said again. Then he caught himself. "I wanna do you first," He grinned, flipping her over on the bed and slipping her out of her short skirt and pulling at her tight shirt. She grinned. Kristen was right. Her body was a temple, and Derrick was coming to worship her. She felt his phone vibrate in his jeans pockets and frowned as he reached for it, pushing her aside as he read it.

"I have to go," He said.

"Why?" She snapped.

"I...family thing," He said, setting the phone down and grabbing his shirt from the phone. Dylan reached towards the phone and grabbed it, impulsively.

**Massie: Ditch D and maybe you'll have a shot with me**

"Liar!" She threw the phone at him. "You're leaving for her?"

"I'm leaving for Massie...and because honestly Dylan? I'm in love with her. And you? You were just good sex. But, I want to be with Massie because she's Massie," He shrugged, catching his phone and storming out of her room, leaving her there, alone, sitting in her bed, wearing only her bra and underwear, wondering where she'd gone wrong.

No, she hadn't gone wrong at all. It was all because Massie was back. Everything happened because Massie had returned and turned OCD upside down. But, she wasn't going down without a fight. She couldn't. She was Dylan Marvil and she refused to ever be humilated like she had been at homecoming ever again. She would never be second best to Massie when Massie shouldn't even be in the competition in the first place. Massie was going to learn a very valuable lesson about stealing things. Then again, Massie had taken Derrick when he hadn't been hers to claim either. No, no-she was different. She was better. She was Dylan freaking Marvil and she ruled OCD with an iron fist, no matter what Massie had planned. Dylan would win. After all, she'd learned how to be an alpha from the very best. She'd learned everything from Massie Block.


	12. Chapter 12:Let Me Love You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 12_**

_Baby I just don't get it-do you enjoy being hurt?  
>I know you smell the perfume-the make-up on his shirt...<br>You don't believe his stories-you know they're all lies  
>Mad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why<br>If I was your man (Baby you)  
>Never have to worry 'bout (What I do) <em>

Derrick Harrington had never gotten over Massie. The entire time she was with Landon, he'd wanted her to be with him. After all, Landon didn't treat her right. The first time he'd ever seen Massie and Landon together, Landon had had two girls flanked on either side of them, his arms wrapped around them and then he'd yelled at Massie, acting as if she were one of those people that abused animals. All because she'd tripped. He'd been shocked at Landon's anger. He'd stayed back after Massie had run off, eyes full of tears, and her friends all following, knowing Massie was heartbroken. He'd turned to Landon, this cool, ninth grade boy, and told him straight out how he felt.

"You're going to lose her, and you're going to be sorry. Massie's an amazing girl and everyone at Briarwood would die if she was considering going out with them. You've got her, and you're blowing it. Don't hurt her-ever-because I will be mad, and I will have to handle things. Just know that Massie's got a lot of people looking out for her. And she would never hurt an animal-especially a dog...especially one who looks so much like Bean. She loves animals. But, you clearly don't. You seem to only like girls," He'd been disgusted with Massie's new boyfriend. He was shocked.

And every time Derrick had ever seen Landon after that, he'd had the scent of some kind of perfume on his shirt-and it was never Massie's signature scent. He'd know. The shirt Massie had sprayed of his was still tucked in the back of his closet, still stained with the scent of Chanel No.9. He hadn't worn it since or washed it. There would be make-up stains on the collar of his shirt that he knew Massie made excuses for. She always made excuses for him, but Derrick knew that deep down, she didn't believe a single one of his stories-she knew each and every one was a lie. But, as angry as she was, she stuck around...and Derrick didn't know why. Maybe it was because Landon showered her with compliments and gifts, just to make-up for his lack of attention and cheating ways, but Derrick couldn't be sure. The only thing he knew for sure was that if he was Massie's boyfriend, she wouldn't ever have to worry about what he did.

Derrick was a lot of things, but he was a great boyfriend. Sure, he'd just run out on Dylan because of Massie-but Dylan had never been a real girlfriend. They were together for her image. And Derrick was sick of her cheating on him, flirting with other boys, ignoring him at school, and then inviting him over for sex if she didn't have anything better to do. He wanted to be with Massie-he wanted to have an actual relationship with Massie. That was what he was like. He wanted a girlfriend he could take on dates-who would allow him his guy time, but send him cute little texts. He wanted a girlfriend who wouldn't just want sex and who he could trust. He wanted Massie Jillian Block and he'd known since the seventh grade. He wasn't stupid. He knew an amazing catch when he saw one, and Massie was the one for him.

_You're true beauty's description-looks so good it hurts  
>You're a dime plus ninety nine and it's a shame<br>Don't even know what you're worth  
>Everywhere you go they stop and stare<br>Cause you're bad and it shows  
>From your head to your toes, out of control-baby you know<em>

The next morning Derrick was sitting on one of the tables in the quad, completely alone, listening to his iPod when Massie walked by. Her long, dark hair was loose around her beautiful face. She wore skinny jeans with a red and white plaid button down, tied right at the belly button with sleeves rolled up and dark cowboy boots. She turned and smiled at him, eyes sparkling. Ever look at the sun and have to turn away because you start to see stars and it hurts your eyes but in a good way? That's what it felt like to look at Massie. He grinned as she turned on her heel, still walking, and changed route, walking towards him. She propped up on the table, sitting besides him.

"I broke up with Cam," She said simply. No hello, straight to business with her. "And I take it you broke up with Dylan," She nodded towards Dylan and her friends. Dylan was wearing a short black skirt, so short Derrick was shocked she'd actually left the house in it. She had black, leather thigh high boots on with a thin, high heel and a black vest without a shirt on underneath. "It's disgusting," Massie laughed, snorting just a little as she laughed. She covered her mouth instantly, but Derrick just grinned. He loved this version of Massie-the real one. "Of course, I guess if you've got the body for it," She shrugged.

Derrick stared at her in shock, shaking his head. Didn't she see how beautiful she was.

"Why'd you pick her? Is it because she's prettier than me? I mean, I could understand that. She's got the best hair in Westchester...long, thick, that amazing shade of red...and so curly. I was always a little jealous of it. And her eyes are that great shade of green...and her face is rather pretty as well. Or is it because she's...curvier than me?" Massie looked down, crossing her arms over her chest. Derrick sighed. She didn't even know how amazing she was-how much she was worth.

"Just stop. Don't do that. You're beautiful. The most attractive girl in Westchester, actually," He said. "Dylan's hair hurts, yours is all soft...it tickles when I do this," Derrick smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close, burying his head in her hair. She giggled as she shoved him away. "And your eyes...they're so unique. Nobody has eyes like that." He frowned. "And Dylan's not curvier than you. Believe me on that one," He blushed on the last compliment.

"You're cute Derrick...real cute," She smiled, taking his hat and putting it on herself.

"Why Cam?"

"He was there when I needed somebody. Every time, it was just because he was there," She sighed. "And I told him that...and he seemed okay with it," She shrugged.

"What's this mean for us?" He asked.

"We'll figure it out as we go along," She winked, putting the hat back on his head and jumping from the table, walking away, not noticing as everyone's eyes turned to stare at her. Because Massie was bad and it showed...she was amazing in every way and everybody could see it. She was out of control and gorgeous from her head to her toes. And it made Derrick worry to know that everyone saw her beauty and she wasn't his yet.


	13. Chapter 13:Lady Is A Tramp

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 13_**

_I like the free fresh, wind in my hair  
>I'm broke-it's okay<br>Hate California-too cold and too damp  
>That's why the lady is a tramp<br>I go to Coney-the beach is divine  
>I go to ball games, the bleachers are fine <em>

Derrick thought he had it all-a golden, lined up opportunity to be with Massie, as soon as she was ready for a relationship. He figured they'd get together before homecoming, or at the dance and last until graduation. Maybe they'd break up when they got to college, each going in different directions but then they'd meet up somewhere later in life, perhaps at their ten year High School reunion, and get back together. Then, they'd last forever. There was just one factor that he hadn't added to any of his equations. Dylan Marvil. He'd forgotten to worry about her evil, conniving ways. He'd completely forgotten about this devilious girl who always seemed to get her way, no matter who it hurt. And that meant trouble.

Because as he walked down the hallway after school, heading towards Massie's locket to talk to her, he was grabbed by a long nailed hand and pulled against a locker. Dylan smiled at him, glanced over her shoulder, and kissed him. The entire thing sickened him because all he wanted was Massie-he'd gotten a taste of her this morning and he refused to give her up. Now he was stuck with Dylan again. He was sure of it. He knew she had a plan. And he was right.

"I'm glad you could wait for me," Massie smirked, holding a fistful of Dylan's hair. She'd yanked Dylan right off of Derrick without even breaking a sweat.

"I guess you're just not the sexy girl he thought you were. Don't you know what Derrick likes?" Dylan smiled.

"Dylan-"Derrick started.

"Stay out of this," Massie glared at him. "You know what Dylan? You can have him. But just remember something...I don't lose. I only know how to win. And this isn't just a silly game anymore. It's war. So enjoy your victory-it's going to be your last." She glaredm turning on her heel and storming off, attracting stares from other guys as she passed.

"I hate you," Derrick said, staring down at the short red head.

"You do? Well, should've told me that before I kissed you! I had no idea," Dylan said with fake innocence. "Whatever-I don't need you anymore. I just needed to make sure Massie wouldn't take you back. Enjoy yourself," Dylan smiled, turning and walking away. "Because that's all you're going to get now," She called over her shoulder.

Derrick clenched his fist, wishing more and more that he wasn't a gentleman-that he was the kind of boy who would try to get back at a girl. But he was too nice. He'd never dream of hitting her, and he couldn't be cruel to her. She was a girl, even if she wasn't a lady. No...this lady was definitely a tramp.

_Girls get massages-they cry and they moan  
>Tell Lizzie Arden to leave me alone<br>I'm not so hot but my shape is my own  
>That's why the lady is a tramp<br>The food at rector's is perfect-no doubt  
>I wouldn't know what the ritz is about<em>

Dylan Marvil sat in her room, knees brought to her chest, arms wrapped around her knees and hair falling from the bun she'd twisted it into at the top of her head. Her make-up was streaked down her face and her eyes were red and puffy. She'd been crying since she got out of school and Derrick had muttered those fateful words. He hated her. It was official. Derrick didn't lie, everyone knew it. And he'd told her he hated her, so he had to mean it. Every time he'd said that he loved her was ruined. She'd destroyed any chance she had with him by ruining his chances with Massie. Derrick hated her. He hated her...nothing else mattered.

No, that was a lie. Massie mattered. Because Massie was the cause of all this. If she'd stayed in London where she belonged, everything would be fine and dandy. He'd still love her and she'd still be with him. Nobody would doubt her popularity. And nobody would be uttering that she was a desperate slut. Kristen would still be afraid to stand up to her because she didn't want the Griffin secret to get around and Josh wouldn't have cheated on Claire, even though both chose to look past it and stay together, despite their longing glances at their true loves.

It seemed like everyone was alone, forced to be apart from the person they loved, except for Kristen and Kemp.

Massie and Derrick could have been happy, but the cost was Dylan's own happiness. So she'd ruined it for all three of them. Sure, she felt bad-but she was too upset because she'd lost Derrick. Her entire life was over.

And Massie was at fault. Dylan would admit that she was guilty as well, but it all came back to Massie.

The center of this heartbroken circle was Massie Block, her gorgeous face sat there right in the middle of everything.

Dylan couldn't believe Derrick would want Massie, the girl who never cried, never complained. Massie wasn't a real girl. Real girls cried and moaned and groaned. They told the popular girls to leave them alone. They weren't hot, they had their own shape. They didn't care about the Ritz-they just wanted to go out somewhere with good food. But Massie...Massie was a guy's image of perfect and she was real. Massie was real in the tom-boy way. The way Dylan had once been. Maybe she could go back to that...no, it was too late. She probably couldn't even-

BUUUUUUUUUUUURP

Dylan gave a watery smile, shaking her head. Everything was perfect. She could go back to her old ways. She was sure of it. With that one burp, it proved that the old Dylan was back and she planned to stay for a while.

_I drop a nickel and the coffee comes out  
>That's why the lady is a tramp<br>I like the sweet, fresh, rain in my face  
>Diamonds and lace-no got? So what?<br>For Robert Taylor, I whistle and stamp!  
><em>_That's why the lady is a tramp_

Massie Block had a plan. Dylan said she wasn't sexy enough to be with Derrick? Well, she'd show her. She'd show them all. She was going to be everything Derrick wanted. She was going to be the sexiest girl at OCD. Massie had a plan and she was going through with it, no matter what.


	14. Chapter 14:Hit Me Baby One More Time

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 14_**

_My loneliness is killing me  
>I must confess I still believe<br>When I'm not with you I lose my mind  
>Give me a sign-hit me baby one more time<br>(Oh baby, baby) How was I supposed to know?  
>(Oh pretty baby) I shouldn't have let you go<em>

Massie Blockwalked into school the following day-Friday-wearing a short, blue and white pleated, plaid mini skirt with a white blouse, sleeves rolled up and tied at the belly button with black clunky, open toed heels. Her hair was in two, low braids and her make-up enhanced her natural beauty. All in all, she looked like Rachel Berry from the Brittney Spears episode of _Glee. _She didn't mind the looks she was getting. In fact, she basked in the glow of each and every one. She approached her locker, loving the attention, as Derrick Harrington approached her, slamming into the locker next to hers.

"Wear my jacket," He insisted, shoving his Tommahawks football sweatshirt at her. As if she'd wear something to identify her as his. She was single and she could enjoy it. And she would.

"Why?" She asked innocently, trying out the Bend and Snap from _Legally Blonde _as she got her science stuff from the bottom of her locker. "They're just looking," She said, turning around and closing her locker.

"They're personifying you!" He accused.

"Objectifying?" She corrected, raising an eyebrow. Had he gotten dumber or had she never realized his stupidity before?

"Whatever! I'm just saying...okay, I think that guy just broke up with his girlfriend so he could stare at you," He said, staring at Blake Jonas in shock as he walked away from an angry Allie Rose Singer, eyes focused on Massie's bare legs. Massie giggled. "It's not funny! You're going to start some sort of riot," He crossed his arms. Massie giggled, loving how angry he looked.

"Did you break up with Dylan to stare at me?" She teased.

"I was never back with Dylan!" He said.

"Didn't stop you from hooking up with her," She shook her head, not choosing to believe he was innocent and she was wrong.

"She kissed me! And then you came up before I could stop it." He said, eyes locked on her, but she refused to meet his gaze.

"Do me a favor?" Massie asked thoughtfully, changing the grip of her books to make the weight easier. "Go to the moon, and please just get lost," She smiled up at him as she walked away, hurrying to meet up with her friends.

"How can I get lost between the moon and New York? It's like, a hundred miles apart!" He called after her. Massie shook her head and allowed a grin at his stupidity. She wouldn't allow the laughter to be released though. That would have to wait until later, when she was alone so nobody would know that she thought Derrick Harrington's stupidity was adorable. She walked towards the science room and slid into her seat, smiling at Kristen and Alicia, who were already there, waiting for her.

"What's up with the get up?" Alicia asked, her frayed denim shorts and black Rodney Atkins concert tee were simple and countrified by the black cowboy boots and matching hat she wore. Her hair was in two messy pigtails and her smile was playful. "Are we trying to impress a Derrick?" She teased.

"I don't remember this being in the plan...I thought I was supposed to be the slut," Kristen gestured towards the leopard print, stretchy mini skirt she was wearing with a black slinky tank top cleavage bearing shirt with black open toe flats. "I mean, if I'm wrong, I don't mind because I got a stellar reaction from Kemp this morning and all but...still, I could appreciate knowing so I don't have to deal with the looks anymore," She said, standing up slightly to adjust the length of her skirt.

"Change of plans. I'm going to make Derrick want me more than he already does. And I'm not going to go back to him, because he doesn't deserve me. He kissed Dylan yesterday. I'm not going out with somebody who dumps his girlfriend for a chance with me and than makes out with his ex girlfriend the next day because I won't instantly hook up with him," Massie shook her head.

"But you want to," Alicia said.

"No," Massie lied.

"You so do," Kristen giggled.

"Maybe I just want a hook-up," Massie said quickly. "And I know exactly how to make Derrick jealous while getting it," She grinned at Connor Harrington, Derrick's older brother, and waved at him as he passed. She winked at him and slowly blew him a kiss, loving how he crashed into the teacher's desk, staring at her. "Be right back," She grinned at her friends and walked over to Connor.

"Hello Massie," He smiled.

"Hey Connor," She smiled, leaning against his desk, knowing he could see not only the red lacy bra she was wearing under the blouse, but her ample cleavage as well. "My mom's out of town for the weekend and I'm all alone," She pouted. "Wanna come over and..._play_?" She exagerated on the last word, leaning in closer to him.

"Yes!" He blurted. Massie knew Connor liked her-it had been going around the school since her return. She'd use it in her favor.

"Good...I'll hump you-I mean, see you-later," She winked, turning around and slowly walking away, purposely taking the long way back to her desk and smiling as she knocked his pen off his desk, bending over to pick it up, right in front of him. "Sorry," She said, handing it back to him.

"Come here," He grabbed her waist, pulling her close to him, right onto his lap, and kissing her. And he was a good kisser.

"Later," Massie winked, slowly pushing him away and walking away. Yeah, Dylan said Massie wasn't slutty enough for Derrick? She'd prove that she was sexy enough for both Harrington boys.


	15. Chapter 15:That Should Be Me

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 15_**

_Everybody's laughing in my mind, rumors spreading bout this other guy  
>Do you did what you did when you did with me-does he love you the way I can<br>Did you forget all the plans that you made with me-cause baby I didn't  
>That should be me holding your hand<br>__That should be me making you laugh  
><em>_That should be me-this is so sad..._

Derrick Harrington couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe his ears. All he could hear was about Massie and Connor-_Connor! _His own _brother-_in first period. He couldn't believe that she'd acted like that. His Massie...Massie Block, the sweet girl that hated any kind of PDA. And she'd pretty much given his brother a lap dance during school. Clearly, Connor got special treatment. Obviously, he wasn't treated the same way Derrick had been. He must mean more to her than he ever had. But Connor would never be able to love Massie the way Derrick had and she should know that! He watched as Massie held onto Connor's hand, leading him towards her usual table. Her head was thrown back and she was laughing harder than Derrick had seen her laugh since she returned from London. The whole thing was just sad...plain old sad. Because Connor shouldn't be allowed to make Massie laugh. He shouldn't be allowed to hold her hand. He should have to stay far away from her and be the one watching from afar, being jealous. Because Derrick was the one who should be holding onto Massie as if he never planned on letting go. But Massie had clearly forgotten all of their plans.

"If you really knew her, you'd know that was her fake laugh. Her forced smile. The one where all she ever does is...fake and act happier than she is. She's putting on a show right now. She wants you to think she's happier than ever. She wants you to believe she's over you and really likes Connor." Dylan said as she slid into one of the many empty seats at the table besides him. If she'd been dressed as the Dylan he'd dated, he wouldn't have listened-he'd figure it was all a trick. But, she was wearing black yoga pants with a zebra print band across her butt with PINK spelled out in green rhinestones and a green cami under a black sweatshirt. If it wasn't for Sammi, he wouldn't have known what that was called. The only Dylan part of her outfit were the black flats. Even her hair, which was usually wild and unmanagable, was pulled into a high ponytail with just a few strands falling into her face. She barely even wore any make-up. "And the happier she looks...the more miserable she is. She loves you. And you love her. And I realized that I'm ruining everyone's happiness trying to make sure I'm not the only one miserable," She concluded.

"Why are you being so nice...why are you trying to...help?" Derrick asked, looking up at her, trying to fight the tears that had been glossing over his eyes all day. He couldn't smile. He couldn't laugh. He couldn't do anything but sit there, forcing words from his mouth and fighting tears that would come out with the next blow.

"Because I miss Massie. I miss Leesh and I miss Kris...Derrick, I even miss Kemp and Plovert and Cam and they were all jerks to me...well, not Cam, but I was never close to him. But...I've been in love with Plovert since Lake Placid, Derrick, and you...you were just a tie to Massie-you were something she loved that I could have," She whispered.

"I know what you mean...that's why I wanted to be with you-even from the very beginning. I wanted Massie and the more and more you changed, the more and more you got like her...until it got to the point where you became the total opposite and then...then I was using you to move on." He shook his head. He knew he sounded like a jerk. He hated himself for it. "And I'm sorry about that," He sighed.

"I was just as wrong as you were," Dylan shrugged. "And now we're both stuck. Because we've all had our chances and we've blown them. Well, I'm stuck. I blew my second chance and Massie doesn't do third chances-except for you. She was always willing to hold onto you. After she released the hold on you...well, she sprayed you again. We both acted like it never happened, but we knew it did. She was always willing to let you have any try-give you one more chance. And she always swore you were on your last one, but we all knew the truth. She wanted you, no matter how much it hurt her." Dylan shook her head sadly. "And it hurt her so much, but she did a good job of hiding it." She added. "I always envied her for that...but, now I'm jealous of you. Because I don't get her trust that I can change. I don't get to thrive off her strength anymore. I don't get her friendship. All I get is her hatred and her sloppy seconds-not you, of course," She added a small, sad smile as she finished that last part. "But I'm not going to just let you blow this either. I still want Massie as a best friend and I can't have that-but I can still have her be happy," She finished with the most determined smile he'd ever seen on her.

_That should be me feeling your kiss-that should be me buying you gifts  
>This is so wrong-I can't go on, til you believe-that should be me (that should be me, yeah)<br>Said you needed a little time for my mistakes-never thought you'd use that time to have me replaced  
>Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies<br>What you doing to me? You're taking him where we used to go  
>Now if you're trying to break my heart-it's working cause you know that<em>

Cam Fisher barely ever went out. But he needed to stop Massie from making a big mistake. It was clear to everyone that Connor was only using her for sex. So, instead, she was going with him. He'd asked her if she wanted to go to the movies-come over and play video games later. He'd told her he needed to talk. And Massie, being the incredible friend she was, had smiled and agreed. Connor hadn't taken it so well. And Massie had told him to just move him-find some other slut to bang because for Massie, friends would always come first. Cam wasn't doing this because of his crush on Massie though. Sure, he liked her and thought she was gorgeous, funny, intelligent-everything he wanted in a girl...but she wasn't Claire. He was still in love with her, not matter what he claimed-no matter what he said. Claire was just that girl who he'd always give another chance. Massie felt that way about Derrick. And he, Cam, knew she felt that way. And Massie had always known that Cam felt that way about Claire. The sad part was, no matter how many times he saw Josh kiss Claire or present her with yet another expensive gift that was so un-Claire-like, he couldn't help wishing that it was him. Because he knew on the inside that it was supposed to be him. It just seemed so wrong to him to see Josh with Claire and he couldn't be himself anymore-the sweet, romantic, humorous Cam who loved sports-especially soccer, but lacrosse even more-unless Claire believed that they belonged together and that Cam should be in Josh's place.

"I just...there's something wrong with those Harrington boys," Massie said as she and Cam entered the theater. They didn't even know what they were going to see-that was how their friendship worked though...it was spontanous and fun. Massie hadn't stopped complaining about Derrick since Cam had picked her up-while Massie's car was better, she was not a very good driver and she refused to let anybody else drive her car. Therefore, they'd taken Cam's Mustang-the same Mustang that had belonged to Harris all those years ago.

Cam shook his head as he bought them tickets to see _The Woman In Black _and turned to walk towards the snack counter. And he froze. There was Claire, the same Claire who said they should just take a break while they worked out their problems. The Claire Lyons' who had said she just needed some time to figure out how they could fix Cam's mistakes. The Claire who Cam had fallen in love with back in seventh grade when Harris still had the Mustang in his possession. Instead, she'd done the unthinkable during their time apart. She'd had him replaced. And now they were here, at the movies together. Did Claire think that Cam wouldn't see them? Of course not...she was always taking him to places where she and Cam had always gone. She was trying to hurt him, he was sure of it. There was no other reason that Josh Hotz would go to the smaller movie theater where they only played three different movies at a time, rather than the large one with the better seats and the better snacks. There was no other reason weight conscious Claire Lyons would choose to go to Slice of Heaven with their greasy food. They were trying to hurt Cam-and Alicia, of course. But Alicia was stronger. It rook more to get to her. She didn't let them see her pain. She didn't let her tears out until they were alone. But Cam was a romantic and when Claire did this, she knew that her plan to break his heart was working.

"Oh, Cam-I'm sorry, this was supposed to be for you!" Massie said, not seeing the happy couple yet.

"It's not that," Cam shook his head. He'd rather talk about Massie's problems. He could give great advice and fix anyone else's relationship, but he couldn't take his own. Massie frowned and followed his gaze.

"Oh, Cam!" She gushed. "We can leave," She said quickly. And then her queen Bitch smirk was back. "Or...give them a show," Massie smiled deviously.

"You're just trying to make Derrick jealous," Cam teased.

"Um, hello? You're getting to Claire and you get a totally hot girl falling all over you. Can you please tell me where you lose in this?" Massie shot back.

"True," He grinned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.


	16. Chapter 16:That's the Way I Loved You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 16_**

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
>It's two am and I'm cursing your name<br>You're so in love that you acted insane  
>And that's the way I loved you<br>Breaking down and coming undone-it's a roller coaster kinda rush  
><em>_And I never knew I could feel that much-that's the way I loved you_

Claire Lyons was sitting on her bright yellow bedspread in her black and white room. Everything was accented with a bright, sun-flower yellow color though. She was on the phone with Olivia Ryan, her best friend, despite their sketchy past, while painting her toenails a bright yellow color. That was her signature color. Daisy by Coach was her signature scent and Roxy was her signature designer. Olivia had hot pink and Viva La Juicy as her color and scent. Her designer was Kate Spade. Dylan had green, Juicy Couture, and Juicy as her color, scent and designer.

"I mean, it's not like I'm even dating Dune-I just hooked up with him at that end of summer party he had because he's _so _good and Dempsey just _wasn't _performing. I mean, I'm a girl-I have _needs _and Dune fulfills them. But he's not boyfriend material. I mean, haven't I told them that a million times? But they just refuse to listen." Olivia was ranting. The good thing about talking to her was that she never shut up. She just kept talking. Claire just needed to make the occasional sounds that showed that she actually cared a little, even if she had no idea what they were talking about.

Which was good since Claire was deep in thought right now. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about Massie and Cam since she'd left the movie theater. The memory just kept playing back in her mind, breaking her heart all over again. It killed her to know he was happy with somebody else. Especially Massie Block. Did she really need every guy in the school? And she'd just broken up with him and moved onto Connor! And dumped Connor! She was a slut and nobody wanted to admit it. But Claire knew it to be true. Just look at her since she'd returned from London.

Dammit! There was that stupid memory again.

_Cam had walked into the theater carrying Massie. Not bridal style or on his back...no, she was facing him, legs wrapped around his torso and arms around her neck in a deep make-out session with him. He'd pushed her up against the wall as soon as they'd entered the theater and he'd released her, but kept kissing her, sliding down to her neck. Massie was even moaning. As soon as the previews started, Cam picked her up again and went back to kissing her, his hands locked on her ass as he sat down in the seat in front of Josh. He didn't even notice Claire or Josh. They were the only four people in the theater. Massie was put in the seat next to Cam but his arm instantly wrapped around her and disappeared up her shirt, obviously going straight for her boobs. The boobs that were barely contained by the tight purple tank top she was wearing with a pair of cut-off faded denim shorts that just barely covered her butt. Josh was practically leaning over her seat to stare at her boobs. Claire had to do something about it. So she'd grabbed Josh and crawled onto his lap, placing his hands on her waist and kissing him with a new surge of passion. She didn't even mind that his hands were traveling towards her boobs and her ass at once. Massie wasn't beaten in her show though. She straddled Cam as soon as the movie started and adjusted her shirt so her boobs were all but hanging out. Claire could feel Josh through her short denim mini skirt and she knew it was because of Massie._

_"Let's go to your car," Claire had whispered loudly, wanting Massie to hear. She'd seen Cam park next to her and Josh. _

_"I want more," Massie whispered as Josh jumped to his feet and grabbed Claire's hand, hurrying towards his car. "Can we take this back to your house?" She asked in a low, deep whisper. Cam didn't even hesitate. He grabbed her hand and hurried towards his car, passing Josh in his rush. By the time Josh and Claire had reached her car, Cam was already gone. Claire brushed past Josh and crawled into the passenger seat. _

_"Take me home, please," She whispered. There was no point for anything but tears now. _

_"But what-"Josh began, slightly defeated. _

_"I changed my mind," She whispered. "Just take me home," she stared out the window at the empty space were Cam's Mustang had been parked not long ago._

_"You're such a tease," Josh muttered, starting the car. "You're nothing but a freaking tease, Claire. You know that, right?" He glared at her as he sped from the parking spot, and then the parking lot. "You're a tease," He'd repeated as he'd dropped her off at her house. "A tease," _

She was a tease...she was a tease, nothing but a tease. Josh hadn't been the first to tell her that. But it had stung the most when he'd said it, because he'd gone the farthest with her. Claire shook her head as she listened to Olivia go on and on about Dune and Dempsey and whatever reason they were fighting for her love and attention now.


	17. Chapter 17:Over You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 17_**

_Weather man said, it's gonna snow  
>By now I should be used to the cold<br>Mid-February shouldn't be so scary  
>It was only December -I still remember the presents under the tree-you and me<br>But you went away-how dare you?  
>I miss you<em>

Alicia Rivera sat in her room, wrapped in Josh Hotz's old Tommahawks soccer sweatshirt. The one she'd 'forgotten' to give back. She always swore to herself she'd stop wearing it. She promised each time she slipped on the heavy, navy blue sweatshirt that this time would be the last time. But she was a liar. Even though it had been years and she should have a new way of dealing with the sadness, the regret...the complete coldness of Josh's actions towards her...she wasn't over it and she had no other way to deal with it than to burry herself in his old sweatshirt and spray it with a new batch of Ralph Lauren cologne each time the scent of him started to fade just a little. He was the only way she could get through anything. And she'd just seen both Claire and him switch their relationship statuses on Facebook to _single. _Single! That meant she had a chance...that meant that maybe her message had gone through to him. That meant that just maybe, he did still want her-deep down inside. Sure, she was still upset with him about the game he'd played that night, but she was willing to forget everything to have him one more time. Besides, Homecoming was in exactly one month and they would look _so _good together.

_But it shouldn't be this hard..._She thought to herself as she stared at the phone in her hand. All she needed to do was call him-she could even text him. But it was just too hard for her to talk to him. She'd had the chat box open on Facebook for an hour, contemplating different things to write to him, each cutesy and flirty in their own way, but she didn't use any of them. Instead, she'd settled for hey and right as she'd gone to click send, he'd logged off. She shook her head, trying to figure out why it could be so hard to talk to the boy she'd once loved. It didn't make sense-they must have had something for each other that made her want to hold onto him for so long.

But...it was more of the fact that if he really wanted to be a part of her life, he'd make some sort of effort to be in her life. She was wasting her time reserving a spot for him when he obviously didn't care enough about her to fight his way back into her heart. He sat by and watched as she flirted with Kemp Hurley without any meaning to it, and he didn't even act like he cared at all when Chris Plovert would tickle her or pick her up. He just made out with Claire and had sex with Claire. And then, when Alicia opened her heart to him, he took advantage of it and then went back to Claire. But...now they were over. That had to mean something, right? Clearly not, because they'd said nothing after their most recent goodbye.

Still...goodbye wasn't what hurt. It was the memories that followed. She could still remember everything about their relationship, especially the break-up. It killed her each time she played it back but it helped her realize that maybe, just maybe, Josh wasn't worth her tears. Only one boy could be worth your tears, after all. And that boy would never make you cry. Josh couldn't be worth it, but still, she wasted her time crying over him. Missing him.

_Maybe some people are meant to love each other but not meant to be together? It's possible, right? _Alicia wondered, tossing the phone gently from hand to hand, debating if Josh was worth her time anymore. Maybe she just needed to move on? Date somebody new...she shook her head and stared at her bright red toe nails, perfectly painted a deep, mantador red color. The pedicure was still perfect, even though she'd gotten it done a week before school had started, right before leaving Spain. Her computer beeped and she stared at the screen. A chat box was open on her Facebook page and it was from Josh.

**Josh: Hey**

**Alicia: I keep replaying the scene where you decided you didn't want me any-**

She shook her head and erased the message.

**Josh: You there?**

**Alicia: It kills me to see you happy with somebody who isn't-**

She erased that one too. She stared at her newsfeed, trying to distract herself. Maybe she could get away without answering him...

**JOSH HOTZ IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ALLIE-ROSE SINGER**

Alicia froze as she read the message. She couldn't make up her mind about Josh, but fortunately, he was helping her-he'd made up her mind for her.

**Alicia: I hope she breaks your heart**

_They say I'll be okay-but I'm not ever, going to be over you_  
><em>Living alone, here in this place<br>I think of you and I'm not afraid  
>Your favorite record makes me feel better<br>Cause you sing along with every song  
>I know you didn't mean to give them to me<em>

Dylan Marvil stared at the name on her AIM buddy list. Chris Plovert was logged on, the boy she'd loved since seventh grade, even after he'd tormented her all summer-calling her a pig and Shrek. Making her feel worthless and awful. And now, he utterly hated her, because of how she'd simply tossed Massie aside when Massie had moved away. Because of how she'd ignored her friends-her real, true friends-to move onto what she considered bigger and better things. The way she'd torn apart his friends. And because she'd bailed on him and chosen Derrick. All because of Massie's going away party. Sure, people said she'd be okay-Claire was the only honest and true friend she really had anymore, and she was always trying to cheer Dylan up, guaranting her that it got easier over time and soon, she'd be okay. She wouldn't be over him, of course. She would never be over Christopher James Plovert because he'd moved into her heart and made himself a very special part of it.

But, sitting alone in her room and knowing she was slowly losing everything? She was terrified. And the only thing that took away that fear was thinking about him. All because of his name and the little green dot next to it on her buddy list. She should talk to him. She could live with losing Alicia and Kristen-even Massie-forever, if she only had him. Because everything about him made her feel better. Even the old Bowling For Soup she had in her sang along with every song-she'd listened to them enough, every time the memories had gotten to be too much for her. But she knew deep down that Plovert had never meant for Dylan to end up with his most prized posessions. It was all because of the yard sale his mother had insisted on where she'd bought the CDs, her hair covered and sunglasses up, praying Plovert would be too busy complaining with Kemp to notice her enough. She hadn't been hoping to buy something as simple as CDs, though-she'd wanted something special. But she'd settled for the CDs, because there was something about them that made her realize that music was the truest way to love.

She clicked on his name and debated what to type into the box.

_What's worse? Saying something and forever wishing that I hadn't? Or saying absolutely nothing and wishing that I had said more? _She thought to herself as she pulled her legs under her and wrapped her arms around herself. Sure, he'd broken her heart-countless times actually-but even if she allowed herself to call him a mistake...well, he had to be the best mistake she'd ever made in her entire life. She sighed and typed in her message.

**BIGREDHEAD: Do you ever think of me?**

She waited for the reply, staring at her emerald green didn't want much from him. Not a long message or anything. She shook her head. She just wanted a chance to redeem herself. She brightened, snapping out of her depressed little world when she heard the beep of the computer. She smiled and then deflated when she saw the message.

**PLAYERCP is away from the computer right now**

He didn't want to talk to her. But she couldn't just give up. SHe refused to.

**BIGREDHEAD: Listen, all I'm asking for is one night together-just the two of us. Please? If you can honestly tell me in that time that you feel nothing for me, then I'll finally let you go. Just...please?**

****She hated sounded desparate and she hated pleading for attention, but for Plovert she would do anything.

**PLAYERCP: We're not friends. We are just strangers with memories now. **

****And with that? He logged off.


	18. Chapter 18:Last Kiss

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 18_**

_All that I know is that I don't know how to be something you miss  
>Never thought we'd have a last kiss<br>Never imagined we'd end like this  
>You're name, forever the one on my lips<br>I do remember the swing in your steps  
>The life of the party-you're showing off again<em>

Massie Block wanted to be over Derrick Harrington. She wished that her eyes no longer lit up when she heard his name. She didn't want chills when you walked by or her heart to race when when he smiled towards her. She prayed that she wouldn't just go back to him like she always used go do. Sure, he was a bad memory in the back of her mind, but she still loved him and she could pretend that she hated him every time she passed him in the halls and work very hard not to look his way. She longed for the day she could ignore him when he spoke to her, but she always broke and she always responded. She was always going to fight the same losing battle, day after day. But, Derrick couldn't be too heartbroken over it, because he had nobody to blame but gave him so many chances and he blew each and every one of them. She walked around with that fake smile plastered on her face though and forces laughter whenever he's within earshot, just trying to make herself be something he could bring himself to miss. Because no matter what she told people, Derrington could never lose her heart. Massie was positive that she'd always love him and that she just couldn't be something he missed and loved enough to fight for.

She'd honestly never thought that they would have a last kiss, but that had happened. They'd kissed on his bike outside that house back in seventh grade and never again after that, no matter how much she may have wanted to. She never thought they'd end and hate each other so much-that he'd ruin her friends' happiness as well. She'd never expected that he would date her so called best friend either, using her to make Massie want him more. She'd never expected him to embarass her repeatedly, each insult stinging more than the last.

But now she was stuck with his name stuck in her heart forever. Chris-Landon-James...they were nothing to her. Even Cam, sweet, wonderful Cam, was nothing when compared to Derrick Harrington, her first love-her only true love. He just had that energy that drew her in, even if she acted like she hated it because it humilated her when he acted so immature. No, instead, she loved that he was confident enough to show off enough to be the life of the party everywhere they went.

But, now he wanted Dylan-that much was clear from how they'd sat together at lunch today. And all Massie could do was hope that she would break his heart. That her cutesy little goodbye texts would start to fade until he was desparetely waiting up all night for her call that would never come. That she would give him their last kiss, no matter how much it kills him and that he'd feel her slowly begin to feel her slip away. She couldn't wait until he was a mess like she had been because Dylan had moved on just like everyone had warned him. She wanted him to be stuck with those bittersweet memories. Yes, Massie so hoped that Dylan would break Derrick's heart, but she also hoped that she wouldn't, because then she'd feel bad. She'd feel sorry that he felt just as worthless and lost as she herself had felt when Derrick had come to her slumber party and told her that he was choosing Dylan Marvil over Massie Block.

Her phone buzzed as Derrick sent her yet another text.

**Derrington: I don't want Dylan. I want you. Just you, all of you, all the time. I want it to be you that kisses me and you when I open my eyes after a kiss. I need you Mass and I just want you to love me again.**

She wanted to tell him that she felt the same, but even as she went to type that message, she stopped. She had to remember how Derrick may be everything she wanted, but nothing she needed. She couldn't be with him because as perfect as they were together-they weren't meant for each other. They hurt each other too much. They caused each other too much pain and Massie needed to just step away from that. Still, it killed her as she replied to him.

**Massie: Whenever you come back into my life, everything is turned upside down and nothing makes sense anymore. I just can't do it anymore-my heart can't take it.**

**~...~  
><strong>_  
>Not one for dancing, but for you I did<br>Because I loved your handshake while meeting my father  
><em>_I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets  
><em>_How you'd kiss me while I was in the middle of saying something  
><em>_There's not a day I don't miss those rude inturruptions  
><em>_And I'll go-sit on the floor wearing your clothes _

Claire Lyons sat in a ball on the floor of her room, wrapped in Cam's old sweatshirt that fit her just perfectly now. That's how she always spent her worst nights, cuddled up in his old clothes that she'd never returned, listening to the Strokes on her iPod and crying. Her family was so used to it that they just ignored her and let her cry now. Sometimes Todd would come in and talk to her, try to cheer her up, because he loved his big sister and hated to see her upset, but even he had stopped. He knew he made her feel worse because she saw how much her pain affected him, the sweet, innocent boy who would never make her mistakes. Westchester hadn't changed Todd. Although, it hadn't been the town that had changed Claire. It had been Cam. She'd never been one to start dancing, her best moves being revealed in one song-she'd never dream of trying to overthrow the alpha back in Florida-but for Cam, she'd given everything her all and never been anything short of her very best. And Cam had been perfect in her eyes. He'd been so polite when meeting her parents-coming over for game night and bonding with Todd-shaking her father's hand and hugging her mother. And she loved how he'd walk with his hands stuffed in his pockets because it revealed the viulnerable side of him that only Claire knew about. The best moments were when he'd be so rude and inturrupt her while talking to kiss her or flirt with her. She missed those moments.

She glanced at the clock and sighed.

11:11 PM

_It's always about you, _she thought to herself, shaking her head and pulling the sweatshirt closer around her. Claire's biggest secret was that she'd never really moved on and her worst nightmare was that it would one day be revealed, because it was clear that Cam had moved on. It was clear that she was forgettable, since Josh had quickly moved onto somebody other than her. She was just so tired of feeling heartbroken every single night. She hated crying until the tears wouldn't move-but that had been reduced from daily to weekly and then monthly, and now it rarely happened, except for in those moments of complete despair. She hated how Cam could trigger every single emotion she was capable of feeling with just the thought of his name. She reached for her phone and debated texting him. Maybe she should call him? Much less desperate, right? No...actually, it was more romantic _and _more desperate. No, she had to call. She had to try to talk to him. So she dialed his number and waited for his she waited, she sat there, thinking about Cam-the only thing she every really thought about.

Claire had always thought her life would be like one of those incredible Taylor Swift songs. She'd been right, in a way. After all, Taylor herself had said that you couldn't predict love-there was no planning for was the exception...the wild card to life. And her life had been like a depressing, girl-power-filled, break-up songs where the girl was heartbroken but always ended up coming back on top. When Cam's voicemail clicked Claire could only think that maybe she should have been more like Massie-the girl that Cam was clearly picking over her. Or maybe she should have been more like a typical Westchester girl instead of trying to blend Florida and New York? Maybe then Cam could have found somebody more like her, somebody he could use to replace her so he wouldn't have become so sad and lonely...so depressed.

"I miss how we were," Claire whispered after the beep and ended the call. That was all she could say without crying again. She wished she could explain how she felt better, she really did. But she felt so much. Everynight before she went to sleep, he was all she thought about and it was something different everynight.


	19. Chapter 19:You Don't Know Her Like I Do

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><em>A Clique Fan Fiction<em>  
><strong>**Chapter 19**

_Hey old friend-thanks for calling-it's good to know somebody cares  
>Yeah she's gone but I don't feel like talking<br>It might just be too much to bare  
><em>_To hear somebody say it stops hurting  
>Or to hear somebody say she ain't worth it<br>Cause you don't know her like I do_

Derrick Harrington stared at his phone and frowned in confusion. Why was Cam Fisher calling him? Sure, the two had been best friends for most of their life-ever since Derrick had moved there in third grade-but, they hadn't spoken in years. They hadn't even shared a smile or an inside joke in more than that. They were torn apart and neither of them could help it. They were both broken hearted and they wanted nothing to do with each other because they didn't want the other's depression near them-it just made them hurt more themselves. But now, when Derrick was at his lowest point, Cam was calling him.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry," Cam blurted. "I'm sorry about everything-I was hurt over Claire and I needed space...or so I thought. What I really needed was my friends. And I just pushed you all away," He said in a rush.

"You're full of shit," Derrick rolled his eyes. "I ditched you all because everything reminded me of Massie and I couldn't take it. So I went off with Josh and Dempsey and Dune and the girls who were nothing I wanted and only what I thought I needed." Derrick sighed. "I'm the one who's sorry." He snorted.

"Anyways...Massie told me what happened," Cam said after a few minutes of silence. A silence that had only been broken from a few random bursts of laughter from the two of them. It was the day after Massie and Derrick's text-feud and honestly, Derrick wasn't surprised that Cam had found out.

"Hey, Cam? I'm glad we're friends again and all...I mean, it's good to know that somebody cares about me and all, but...even though Massie's gone for good this time...I just don't want to talk about that. It's just a little too much to bear," He shook his head and ran a hand through his wavy hair, closing his eyes tightly and falling back against the pillows on his bed. He'd kept his room as neat as possible just in case he ever got a chance to invite Massie over again. He couldn't stand to have her repulsed by the disgusting state of his room ever again. He wouldn't lose something that amazing over something so silly. But, he'd lost her anyways.

"I know," Cam whispered. But Derrick ignored him. He kept right on talking.

"I can't let anybody tell me that it stops hurting, because it doesn't. And nobody can say that she isn't worth it because she is. Nobody knows Massie Block the way I do-not even you," Derrick sighed, rolling onto his stomach. "And I gave her my life and she just killed me more and more every single day," He muttered as he rolled back onto his back, keeping the cool, navy blue pillow over his face. All Derrick had ever heard was that there was always a reward for every time he said 'goodbye'. He'd been promised he'd always get another new 'hello'. But he didn't want that. Every time Derrick had attempted to sleep last night, he'd remembered Massie's beautiful face and he could just picture her teasing him, hugging him tightly and whispering in a low, husky, sexy voice right in his ear.

_"Try a little bit harder...try just one more time-I'm worth it, I promise," _And he'd wake up after those hurtful words were said and be miserable. He'd finally given up on sleep because even he knew that every man had his breaking point. And he was a little too close to his for comfort. Nothing hurt more than the goodbye except for the memories that followed and the hardest part of missing somebody was trying to remember exactly what it felt like to kiss the person you'd once loved. All Derrick could do was sit there, curled into a sad little heap and think about her.

_I just keep replaying the scene in my head where you decided you didn't want me anymore. _

**~CLIQUE~**

_And there's no way you're gonna help me  
>She's the only one who can<br>No-you don't know how much I've got to lose  
>You don't know her like I do<br>I can't forget-I'm drowning in these memories  
>It fills my soul with all the little things<em>

Cam Fisher hung up with Derrick Harrington feeling about ten times worse than before. Because Cam knew that Derrick had the bravery to go and try to win Massie back one more time. Cam didn't have that courage. He would never again get to hold Claire in his arms. Derrick couldn't help him anymore than Cam could help Derrick. The only person in the entire world who could help him was Claire-because even one of Massie's crazy plans to win her back wouldn't work this time. He wouldn't be happy until he heard Claire tell him that she still loved him and had never stopped. Nobody really understood how much Cam had to lose whenever it came to him and Claire because nobody knew Claire the way Cam did. They saw her the way she presented herself to them-not the real Claire Lyons who Cam had fallen in love with back in seventh grade. And no matter how hard he tried to forget her he was stuck drowning in all the memories he had of her-because there were just so many, some good and some bad. Every little memory caused more and more pain to his already broken heart.

Claire had said she'd love him forever but apparently, to her, forever lasted only one year, six months and two and a half weeks. Sure, there were only two outcomes of a relationship, but Cam had always thought he and Claire would be the ones who grew up and ended up eventually getting married, staying together forever. He'd never seen them as the type to break up and never speak again. Then again, they'd turned friendship into love and that could never ever be reversed. It didn't even matter that Cam knew from his friends' experiences and his brother's romances that going back to a past love was like rereading a book over and over again. No matter how many times you read it, it always had the same ending.

Cam had been having the same dream over and over again. It was always the same-Claire, in that stupid Powerpuff Girl costume from when she'd first met him, dancing around him, getting further and further away with each twirl she had. When she was almost out of his line of vision-he couldn't move, couldn't follow her, no matter how hard he tried-she'd whisper to him, and it was always perfectly audible to him.

_"I'm Done," _

That was all she ever said. The thing was, even Cam knew that when a girl said that, she always meant that she wanted him to fight for her. It was just the fact that he hadn't realized this until it had been too sighed-there was one thing he could do. He could tap into his old self and hope he could reach the courage he needed, the courage he'd lost. So, he grabbed his phone and dialed Claire's number. She picked up after the first ring.

"I hate every sweet thing you've ever said to me. I hate knowing that it was all just a lie. I hate how you just thought that you could leave...that you could leave me," She whispered.

"That's not what happened and you know it," Cam said.

"But it is...I might have been the one to officially end it all...but you were the one to break my heart. You were done with this relationship as soon as Massie left. You went into autopilot and it killed me to know that even I couldn't bring you back to your old self. I just couldn't take it anymore. It was killing me to see you like that and...well, it took some time, but each day after Massie left, I started to realize that I needed you less and less. I still love you Cam-I always have and I always will, but I'm stronger than I was before. I understand that we're not meant to be together. And I can't blame you. We both tried...it's not one of those situations like Alicia and Josh where she tried and he didn't and she just said she was done when she finally got too worn out..."Claire sighed. "Listen to me," She said, sounding as confident as ever. "We need to just move on. It's tough, but I'm doing fine-it gets easier day by day. And I hope you're doing alright too," She said, sounding just a little too sad. Cam sighed as he heard the click. The thing was, he knew she was right.


	20. Chapter 20:Easy

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><strong>**A Clique Fan Fiction  
><em>Chapter 20<em>**

_We broke up-yeah it's tough  
>Most guys would've been crushed-wastin' their time wonderin' where they went wrong<br>__No way-not me-hey I'm doing just fine:I'm not afraid of moving on  
>It's easy-going out on Friday night<br>Every time I see her out  
>I can smile-live it up<em>

Derrick Harrington shook his head. He was walking down the street, towards the old elementary school where he always went when he needed to be alone and think. The playground offered the perfect solution for him and he loved the feeling of being the king of the world-the feeling that he was just a little boy again without any worries-whenever he was swinging higher than the clouds. He loved the feeling of freedom that happened as soon as he jumped from the swing and landed on the woodchipped ground, the slight pain he always felt in his ankle after each and every landing. The pain helped take away from the pain of knowing that he and Massie were over. They'd broken up and sure it was tough and all-but Derrington had more important things to deal with-like the pain of a twisted ankle from jumping from the swings at its highest and fastest point-right before it flipped right over the bar at the tippy top of the swing set. Sometimes, if he was really depressed, he wouldn't jump and he'd hold on as tightly as possible, hurting his hands from clenching the chains, and allow his stomach to drop as he spin right over the top of the swing seat and came back down to continue his swinging session.

But Derrington's destination was not important. What was important was the fact that he wasn't allow the pain Massie had caused him to show. While most boys would go out and complain to their friends-wondering what they did wrong, acting like foolish, love struck idiots who honestly believed the failured relationship was all their fault, Derrick wasn't one of them. He could pretend he was doing abolosuletly fine and that his heart wasn't broken. After all, he'd proven with his relationship with Dylan-almost four years-that he was not afraid of moving on. He would never shy away from a new prospect-but he would put his all into a relationship.

The only thing he refused to do was lie. He wouldn't go out with his friends to some party or to do something crazy when he was miserable, no matter how easy it was to just put on a fake smile and act like everything was okay. Yeah, sure, if he ran into Massie he could force a smile and fake all those niceties he was required to do as an ex-boyfriend-and he could live up basking in the glow of her wonderfulness for those few moments, but he couldn't put himself through that pain, no matter how easy it was to pretend that it didn't hurt him.

All Derrington wanted was for Massington to happen. He wanted them to have late night phone calls again-the good kind, not the awful, heartbreaking ones like the one they'd had last night. HE wanted cutesy nicknames and playful teasings. He wanted them to know they would always be there to take care of one another and to text each other randomly throughout the day in a way only the two of them could understand. He wanted them to celebrate some sort of annevasary-he didn't even care if it was for something as simple as a week. He wanted to be introduced to her friends as her boyfriend once more and he wanted her family to finally meet him as Derrick Harrington, the love of her life-her boyfriend. He wanted his family to meet her as well. They needed to be able to mock one another and then hug and kiss to makeup when they went just a little bit too far. They needed to simply hang out-just the two of them without any lables. He wouldn't be the star quarterback of the football team if she wouldn't be OCD's golden girl who everyone wanted or wanted to be. All he wanted was to be hers while she was his.

Derrick would never get over her. She'd hurt him a countless number of times but he'd hurt her as well. They both hurt each other and they'd both hurt other people because of the other one. But that was just how love went when you were a teenage. You always loved the one who hurt you and hurt the one who loved you. Derrick sighed as he entered the elementary grounds and slowed his pace. The sooner he got to the park, the sooner he'd be on the swings and once his swinging was over-well, that was when he always went home. And he was the type of person who hated to rush anything that was important to him. He'd learned that from his experience with Massie. There wasn't much he could do to get his mind off of Massie, but every time he'd missed her in a way that was too much to handle, the playground had been a solution.

He stopped as he approached the swings. Somebody was already there. Somebody who would ruin his sanctuary. Somebody who would make it impossible to ever come to the playground to forget about Massie ever again. But, he couldn't just leave. He needed to be the old Derrington and be true to his heart. So he stood up straight, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted towards the girl on the swings.

"Hey you! YEAH YOU! Don't you know you're beautiful?"

**~CLIQUE~**

_I can smile-live it up, the way a single girl does  
>But what he-what he don't know is how hard it is to make it look so easy<br>__The truth is-I miss lying in those arms of his  
><em>_But I don't ever let it show-I laugh and act like  
>I'm having the time of my life<br>__As far as he knows_

__Massie Block froze as soon as she heard Derrington's voice across the playground. She'd always come here as a secret hide away when the drama in her life got to be too hard to handle, but she'd never expected it to be Golden Boy Derrick Harrington's secret location as well. And that sort of ruined everything. Because whenever she saw Derrick staring at her, she'd put on her most realistic fake smile and bask in the attention she got from him, loving the jealousy the way every single girl did. She loved how she could flirt, but it was all just a show for his sake. The only thing he didn't know was how hard it was for her to make everything look easy-to make her effortless painlessness look like it was easy and coming to her naturally. The thing was-it was hard...it was difficult and it pained her more than the actual heartbreak did. The truth was...she actually sort of missed being able to let herself be locked in his tight embrace and knowing that he would never let anything hurt her. She never let any of it show, of course-she wasn't foolish enough to believe he missed having her in his life, of course. Instead, she smiled and acted like she was having the time of her life, laughing at every little thing, even if it was totally unneccesary. Because as far as Derrick knew, for Massie, the pain didn't exist. But here, in the playground of the old elementary school, she couldn't play pretend. This was the place where she shed her disguises and let the real Massie Block out. And now he was ruining that and all of her worlds were colliding all at once.

But...Derrick had started this conversation, and he had that playful smile on his face that showed he was willing to play. SHe loved that challenging grin. So she went along with it, deciding that for once, her heart could lead the way and the fates could control her destiny. "If you want me, show me. If you need me-tell me. If you have me, then you should love me. If I'm worth it, then start fighting for me," She declared, hoping from the swings and taking off, up the steps of the playground and straight to the tube slide, the ultimate domain of the playground. THe one place where you were always cornered, but always had an escape as well. It had always been Massie's favorite location on the entire playground when she was younger.

"I wonder what goes through your head when you hear my name?" Derrick wondered as he walked closer to the main section of the playground, where Massie stood at the highest point, staring down at him.

"You'll never know if you don't come up and force me to tell you," She challenged. "Of course-you have to catch me too," She winked, gripping the railing of the playgrounds and leaning over it, daring him to even attempt to try and catch her. Of course, she already knew she'd let him-after a hard enough attempt from him, of course.

"You wanna play that way? Well, I'll just tell you," He said, approaching the ladder to bring you onto the playground. "I'm technically single. But I'm emotionally taken. And I have been for a while. Not by Dylan, of course." He said as he began to ascend the ladder towards her. She didn't make an attempt to move. She wanted to hear him out. For the moment. "Because in my mind...and my heart-I'll always be yours," He finished as soon as he was completely on the playground. He was facing her and there were three little stairs that seperated them. It felt like a million miles to Massie. "I can say I'm over you a million times, but every time my phone goes off, I'm stuck wishing it was you who was calling or texting. The sad part is, it never is you and it hasn't been in forever," He sighed. But he wasn't moving any closer to her.

"I've been pretending to ignore you since I got back from London, but I've been more aware of you then ever. I notice every little thing you do. And it's all because I love you," Massie whispered.

"I love you too," Derrick whispered, smiling as he simply stared at her. Slowly, he stepped onto the first little stair towards her.

Now, Massie understood how cliched her relationship with Derrick had always been, but even she;d admit that what happened next was the most cliche thing of all time. It started to rain. And not a sprinkle-not a light rain... an absolute downpour, sort of like in_ High School Musical 3 _when they were dancing on the roof and singing _Can I Have This Dance?._

"Be my Troy and I'll be your Gabriella," Massie said, taking a step towards him, lowering herself one stair.

"Take my hand...I'll take the lead-every step, will be safe with me," He smiled, reaching out for her and pulling her close to him for the most cliche-d kiss in the rain...that was also the best kiss either of them had ever had.


	21. Chapter 21:Dancing Away With My Heart

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 21_**

_We headed off to college at the end of that summer  
>And we lost touch<br>I guess I didn't realize even at the moment  
>We lost so much<br>I haven't seen you in ages  
>Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are <em>

__Chris Plovert hadn't spoken to Dylan-actually spoken to her, in a full fledged conversation with laughter and good thoughts-in years. Since seventh grade, right at the end of the year. She'd headed off to Hawaii as soon as she could-right at the beginning of summer, and hadn't looked back once. She'd ignored every single text Chris had sent her. Of course, since they'd all been horrible and awful, he couldn't really blame her. He'd called her horrid names and sent her crude pictures. All because he'd thought it was funny to taunt her. He didn't really think any of that-but she'd pretty much used him and Kemp just to look attractive. She'd wanted two dates. And then she'd gone out of her way to act like a complete and total dude, and that wasn't the Dylan that Plovert had wanted to be with. So, long story short, after that summer, they'd lost touch. Neither of them, especially Plovert, realized that they were losing not only each other but true love as well. So, yeah, they hadn't talked to each other in years-and Chris was always wondering how Dylan was...what she really thought. And if she really missed him. He wondered if she thought that he was a mistake...or an incredible mistake.

But sometimes mistakes were just the best memories of all. Dylan was like that old song that you heard on the radio after years and years, yet you still could remember every single lyric and sing along to it like you'd never lost the song at all. Plovert was full of Dylan related messages. He never deleted a single text message he'd ever gotten from her because he always felt like he was deleting some sort of history-the history of Dylan and Plovert.

"What's more important?" Chris asked suddenly. He was with Cam and Josh-the only two members of their old group who were still miserable. Derrick had just gotten back together with Massie, just about an hour ago when the storm had started. Now, they were at Derrick's house, cuddling on the couch. It made Plovert miserable to know that a happy ending could be so close to him, yet so far away for him. The other three boys were over at his house, sitting in his living room with the TV on. But he knew they were all thinking about the same thing. Their past loves. "To love somebody, no matter what they think...or to be loved by somebody no matter what you think?" He wondered. He was honestly asking Cam, the most romantic of the boys. But it was Josh who replied.

"What's more important to a bird? His left wing or his right wing?" He asked, not removing the pillow that was covering his eyes. None of the boys knew how it had happened, but suddenly, they were all friends again. Maybe it had just taken Derrick and Cam making up for them to all text Derrick and say it was good to have their best friend back and to call Josh and invite him over when Cam had shown up close to tears.

"How does Derrick do it?" Cam blurted. "Just...always get his way?" He asked.

"It's not because fate's unfair, Cam-because life's unfair, but that doesn't mean we all have sucky destinies because of it. No, Derrick get what he wants because he goes out and he changes the course of his future." Josh said.

"That settles it then-I'm going to get Dylan," Plovert jumped up.

"Dude, it's storming out there! There are flash flood warnings everywhere-and you don't have a car," Cam said, rolling over onto his side and propping up on an elbow. "You don't even have a license," He said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't care-I'll walk!" Plovert declared, walking towards the door. He grabbed a jacket and was pulling it on when he heard Josh's snicker.

"He doesn't have a liscense?"

"I DIDN"T SEE THE LADY IN THE WHEEL CHAIR, OKAY?" Plovert snapped as he walked out into the storm, the door slamming shut behind him.

**~CLIQUE~**

_And the way you moved me  
>Was like you were reading my mind<br>I can still feel you lean in to kiss me  
>I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me<br>I haven't seen you in ages  
>Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are<em>

Dylan Marvil wasn't single. She didn't believe in it. She was in a relationship with freedom, that was all. So no, she was not single. She was, however, friendless. She'd snapped at Claire on the phone, telling her to shut up about the original PC members. Claire ha simply hung up and was not answering her calls now. Olivia was ignoring her as well. That left Dylan alone with her freedom and her memories. And the only thing that sucked more than that, was the fact that all of her memories were about the one who had taught her what first love really was. Christopher Plovert-the new IT boy at BOCD, the one who every girl wanted. Of course, now that Derrick Harrington was single, Chris had competition. Dylan pulled her computer closer to her and clicked onto facebook and screamed. Derrick wasn't single. No, he was with Massie, the girl he'd loved the entire time they'd been together.

But, it wasn't the fact that Massie had something Dylan couldn't have...it was the fact that Massie got her happily ever after and Dylan was stuck with just memories of the boy who's soul and heart were just like hers. It was the fact that Massie no longer considered Massie her best friend and wasn't telling her anything about her life. Dylan hated that she didn't get to talk to Massie-she needed Massie after all. But Dylan didn't really miss her...not compared to how much she missed PLovert. Nothing could compare to that. She loved him-and she could still feel the butterflies in her stomach when she thought of their near kiss in seventh grade at the Lovestruck Dance, right before the bomb warning had been launched and they'd looked up and giggled, racing towards their friends. Ever since that moment, Dylan had been in love.

She hadn't talked to this amazingly lovely boy in years...it had felt even longer than that. And she knew that he clearly didn't miss her, or else they'd be together right now. He wouldn't have just stood around and let her be miserable. Then again, to be fair, he'd figured she loved Derrick. But, teenage dating was not always about love-it was about fun and true happiness...which, if she was being honest, she didn't exactly have with Derrick. She wasn't happy-not truely happy. SHe hadn't been that happy since eighth grade, before Massie had moved away. And Derrick hadn't exactly been fun-but that wasn't his fault. They both knew that the other was in love with one of their ex best friends. Massie-that was the only person who was on Derrington's mind. And Plovert was the boy who Dylan always wished would be there when she opened her eyes after each and ever kiss.

"DYLAN! I LOVE YOU BUT I'M TOO AFRAID TO TELL YOU!" Dylan kicked the computer off of her lap and rolled to her side, running to the curved window seat in her room. She tossed open the window, ignoring the rain that was pouring in and covering the silk cushion on the wooden bench. She stuck her head right out of the window, not caring how soaked she would get and momentarily forgetting about her white tank top that she'd carelessly tossed on over a cheetah print, lacy, Victoria's Secret water bra. She squinted, trying to make out who was calling to her, but it was much too dark too see anything, especially with all the rain. "FACT: THE PEOPLE YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK TO ARE SOMETIMES THE PEOPLE YOU DON'T TALK TO!" The screaming continued. She knew the voice, it was oddly familiar, even though Dylan was sure it had been ages since she'd last heard it.

And that's when she realized...it was Plovert. It was the boy who could break her heart but she'd always love with all of the little pieces. It was the boy who would love her no matter how many times she'd hurt him.

"PLOVERT?" She shouted.

"DYLAN?"

"COME UP HERE!" She giggled. "I want to be able to see you when I tell you I love you," She screamed.


	22. Chapter 22:Take a Hint

**What Doesn't Kill You****  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 22_**

_Why am I always hit on by the boys I never liked  
>I can always see them coming from the left and from the right<br>I don't wanna be a priss, I just try to be polite  
>But it always seems to bit me in the-<br>Ask for my number, yeah, you put me on the spot  
>You think that we should hook-up but I think that we should not<em>

"Why are we at Yasmine's?" Alicia scrunched up her perfectly petite nose as they entered the eighteen and under club in the Bronx, the one part of New York that the girls absolutely hated. It was later that Saturday night and everyone in the PC knew that Massie Block had something up her sleeve.

"We're meeting Dylan. Everything's going to go back to normal. I talked to her a little while ago, actually, and we agreed to meet here. Plovert forgave her, and if he can, so can we," She declared as she allowed the security guard to stamp her hand. She smoothed out her black, pleather-like she could ever wear _real _leather!-mini skirt with the matching vest and the small, red tank top she'd paired with it. She wore black ankle boots with it and had her hair up in a sexy bun on the top of her head-her make-up dark and even.

"If you're sure she's not still slutty Dylan Marvil, leader of the Sex Committee, then, duh, of course we want her back. We want the original Dylan Marvil to come back-we love her," Alicia declared, stepping towards Massie in her cheetah print, strapless, pencil mini dress with brown knee high boots. Her hair was in a super high ponytail and her make-up brought out all of her natural beauty.

"I promise-I do _not _want to be friends with Claire Lyons and Olivia Ryans anymore. I don't want to be the easiest girl on campus who everyone wants to get with because they think it's going to be an easy lay. I want to be my old burpy, tomboy-y self," Dylan declared, stepping out from behind the podium, her red hair in a wild, curly mane around her face. She was wearing tight, black skinny jeans with an emerald green slinky tank top and green open toe pumps. Her make-up brought out her bright green eyes. "I promise," She repeated, adding in a burp to seal the deal.

"YES!" Kristen pumped a fist in the air, her blonde hair pin straight, her make-up smoky and made to just pull you in. She wore a pair of denim cut-off short shorts with an off the shoulder, sparkly deep pink shirt and suede, dark pink shoes that came up to shield her entire ankle and foot. On anybody else the look would be ridiculous, but on Kristen? It was perfect. "I've got my best friend back!" She declared, reaching out to hug the red head.

"And the PC is back," Massie noted, starting towards the _dry _bar.

"Done," Alicia confirmed.

"Done," Kristen added.

"And done," Dylan finished as the girls slid onto the bar stools, ordering some virgin Pina Colodas. The girls sat there, giggling and talking about everything they'd missed out on over the past few years when they were apart. And then they were inturrupted.

"Hey," Some guy said, taping Massie on the shoulder. She turned around slowly, frowning in confusion. "My friends and I have a bet...I was thinking you could help me win it?" HE asked.

"What's the-hey!" She slapped at his hand as he reached for the tag on the back of her shirt.

"Yup, I was right-made in heaven," He smirked. Massie gave him a disgusted look as his friends came over to join him. They were typical New York boys, with carefully messed up hair in all different shades of brown and deep, dark eyes. They wore Ralph-Lauren/Polo typically preppy clothes.

"Hey," one of his friends said, leaning across Alicia to settle onto the counter. "I lost my number...can I have yours?" He said, a player-ish grin on his face.

Massie sighed. She was sick and tired of always being hit on by the guys she would never like. She could see them coming from each and every angle-the left, the right-and normally she was aware enough to get away before they got there. Now, Massie was not a priss-she always tried her very best to be polite. But it always came and bit her right in the ass. And then they'd ask for her number and put her right on the spot-or they'd do it to one of her friends.

"Listen, all these niceties are cool and all..."Massie's boy-the only blonde-said. "But I think we should just cut to the chase and hook up, ya know?" He said.

"Yeah...no," Massie shook her head.

_You had me at hello-then you opened up your mouth  
>And that is when it started going south<em>  
><em>Get your hands off my hips fore I punch you in the lips<em>  
><em>Stop you're staring at my-HEY<em>  
><em>Take a hint-take a hint<em>  
><em>No you can't buy me a drink-let me tell you what I think <em>

__Alicia Rivera was heartbroken over Josh and ready for anything-especially a new boyfriend. And this guy was gorgeous, the only boy with jet black hair out of the group. He'd started with a simple greeting and that had been fine and all-but then he kept on talking and that was where it all went wrong.

"Get your hands off of my hips," Alicia glared, pushing the boy away. "Or I will punch you," She said, lowering her gaze so that he was no longer staring at her lips in Hunger. She jumped to her feet and started to walk away, wanting to clear some space between her and these perverts, but she whirled around and stomped on his foot hard when she felt his gaze on her as she walked away. "Do not stare at my ass-ever!" She said darkly. He shook his head.

"I'm not a bad guy...my name's James," He said.

"I'm Carlton," the blonde said to Massie. He'd taken Alicia's seat and was leaning as close to Massie as possible.

"I've got a boyfriend," Alicia said, going back to her drink.

"Adam," Kristen's boy said. "Can I offer you a drink?" He said, leaning over her as he slid a bill to the bartender. Kristen shuddered.

"I'm dating somebody, sorry," Kristen said brightly.

"That's okay," Carlton said to Massie. "It's not big deal," He shrugged.

"Yeah, we can always change that," He shrugged.

"Preston," Dylan's 'friend' smiled at her.

"I'm sorry, but I just started going out with-"

"Just because the other team's got a goalie doesn't mean you can't score," Preston inturrupted her. Dylan's eyes darkened. She hated being inturrupted and everybody knew it.

"Listen, I think you guys need to take a hint..."Alicia said slowly as the bartender brought over eight drinks which were clearly not virgin anything.

"You can't buy us drinks! Want us to tell you what we think?" Massie blurted, and then caught herself. She had her queen bitch smirk back and Alicia was grateful.

_I guess you still don't get it  
><em>_So let's take it from the top  
>You asked me what my sign was<br>And I told you it was STOP  
>And if I only had a dime for every name that you just dropped<br>You'd be here and I'd be on a yacht_

Kristen Gregory and her friends were still stuck with these guys, even after an hour. The girls had gotten up and tried to sneak onto the dance floor, but the boys had clung to their side, attaching themselves to the girls as soon as they'd hit the dance floor. And the girls had been begging these losers to leave for just as long, but they still didn't get it. It was fine with Kristen. She could hold her own. And she could always call Kemp when it got to be too hard on her. Kemp would be here in five minutes flat and Adam would be tossed to the ground in five seconds while Kemp kicked his ass for messing with his girl. That was how Kemp was, and although Kristen hated to be objectified, she didn't mind when it was from Kemp because that was how he showed he cared.

"So, what's your sign?" Adam asked.

"Stop," Kristen smirked.

"Aw, baby, don't be like that. I'm not gonna do anything you don't want honey," He said, a slight southern drawl to his voice, the only thing that made him different from his friends. "See, sweet thing, you're just so sexy that I can't help but want your hot body," He went on and on for an entire song, calling Kristen a different, stupid name with each stupid line.

Finally, Kristen couldn't take it anymore.

"If I had a dime for every single line that you just dropped, I'd be on a yacht and you'd be here alone. God, I wish I did have a dime for every name you dropped, because all I want is to be away from you!" She snapped, turning on her heel and walking towards her stuff. She was going to resort to calling Kemp. But then she'd drop in a phone call to Derrick, and Plovert. Maybe she'd even call up Josh and Cam. She just wanted there to be some way to get away from these losers.

"Oh, I get it," Adam was following her. "You wanted us to be alone," He nodded.

"No," Kristen said sweetly, grabbing her purse and searching for her phone. "I wanted to call my boyfriend so he could kick your sorry ass and get me the hell away from you," She said as she began to fire off a text to Kemp. She refused to let this idiot live for one second longer-not within her personal space, that is. She needed him to just get a clue and realize that she was _not _into him.

_What about "no" don't you get?  
>So go and tell your friends I'm not really interested<em>  
><em>It's about time you're leaving-I'm gonna count to three and open my eyes and you'll be gone <em>  
><em>One-get your hands off my-<em>  
><em>Two-or I'll punch you in the-<em>  
><em>Three-stop your staring at me-HEY!<em>

"What about no don't you understand? Is it the word itself or the definition? Because I keep saying no and I keep meaning NO!" Massie declared, her hands on her hips, her glare cold as stone. She just wanted these losers to leave her and her friends alone. They were idiots-they were perverts. They figured Massie and her friends were hot and easy-well they were wrong. And what made them think that Massie and her friends were single? They were gorgeous and totally sexy-they'd definitely have boyfriends. They didn't need to go to a club to hook up with random guys that didn't seem to understand what no meant. "So go and tell your friends that I'm not interested and neither are my friends," She shoved him, but he grabbed her wrists and pulled her clothes.

"Okay-wait a second...that's it," Massie turned her head and gasped when she saw Derrick standing there with the guys. "Let go of my girlfriend or I swear to God, I'll kill you," He glared, his strong arms crossed over his broad chest. "It's about time you're leaving," He declared. "And I really hope you don't come back-for your sake, of course, because I just want to punch your face in and I'd love an excuse for it," His gaze narrowed even more. Massie had never seen Derrick look hotter. She gasped as she saw Kemp jump straight into attack mode on Adam and winced as she saw Plovert pin Preston against a wall. She lowered her gaze as Carlton let her go, shoving her away and Derrick stepped forward. He looked at James and glared at him too. "Get away from Alicia or it will be worse," He said. James didn't even pause when he shoved Alicia towards Massie.

"You have until I count to three. When I open my eyes, I hope you'll be gone," Massie said, closing her eyes slowly.

"I'd start running now-we count fast," Alicia whispered as she closed her eyes as well.

"One," Massie said.

"Never put your hands on my girlfriend again," Derrick said.

"Two," Alicia added.

"Or I'll punch you in the face," He went on.

"Three," The girls finished together.

"And don't stare at their asses on your way out!" Derrick shouted.

The girls opened their eyes and sighed in relief. Not only were Carlton and James gone, but so were Preston and Adam.

And in their place? Was Josh, sweaty and breathing heavy. "Is it safe for me to be here now?" He panted.

"We made him run off his anger. We didn't want any trips to the jail..."Derrick trailed off.

"It's all good," Massie promised.

"Leesh, please tell me you're okay? I know I've been a jerk, but you know I still love you. I just thought-"

"Hey," Alicia said, stepping closer to Josh. "You look an awful lot like my next boyfriend," She said, shutting him up with a kiss, not even caring that he might still be dating Allie-Rose.


	23. Chapter 23:The Trouble With Girls

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 23  
><em>_A/N: If anyone has any song suggestions for titles, please leave me a review because it's taking me longer to think of a song than it is to write the story._**

_The trouble with girls is they're a mystery  
>Something about them puzzles me<br>Spent my whole life trying to figure out  
>Just what them girls are all about<br>The trouble with girls is they're so dang pretty  
>Everything about them does something to me<em>

Josh Hotz sat on the couch in his living room the next day with Alicia cuddled close to him in his arms. She'd been oddly silent since they'd started going back out and Josh knew that could only mean one of seven things. A-she was over thinking something...which worried him deeply because it meant their relationship. B-She was tired of waiting-which made Josh over think because he didn't know what she was waiting for. C-about to blow up-which confused him because he didn't know what he could have possibly done to piss her off in less than twenty four hours. D-Needed a hug-which was probably not the problem, because she'd been wrapped tightly in his arms, pulled as close to his chest as possible, ever since they'd begun dating. E-She was falling apart-which was weird, because she seemed so happy. F-crying inside-about what? Josh would never know. Or G-hiding something. Josh was 99% positive that the problem was G, and he thought he knew what it was.

"So," He said slowly. "I've been meaning to ask you something," He frowned.

"Yeah?" Alicia asked, turning her head slightly to look up at him.

"Did you key my car after we made out that day?" He asked her, hoping he was wrong.

"Of course I did," She declared proudly.

Everybody knew how much Josh's car meant to him. People understood that they should wipe their feet before entering it and should use only the handle when closing or opening the door. They should never mess with the radio or the temperature and the leather seats must be kept in perfect condition. He'd always wanted that car and he'd worked hard to get it. He wouldn't let anything take that away from him. Everyone knew that and everybody respected it. And if anybody knew exactly how much that car meant to Josh, it was Alicia. Yet, she'd totaled it on him and then gone on to brag about it as if it were the best prank in the entire world. As if it were actually funny. As if the damage wasn't even serious.

That confused him. The biggest problem with girls was how everything about them was a puzzle. They were a complete and total mystery to him and he just couldn't figure them out. He wasn't like Cam-Josh could devote his entire life to trying to figure out the secret behind girls and the effects they had on males, and he would never figure out just quite what power they had over him and his species. It was impossible to figure out every little aspect of the female brain, and it was mainly because girls were so much more complex and brilliant than men. Boys were confused easily and preferred to keep everything straight and to the point. They hated games and despised riddles. That was the trouble boys had with girls-what made it so hard to have an amazing relationship. Girls liked to test boys and guys always fell into the trap. And then everything went down hill from there.

Josh sighed as he stared down at the gorgeous girl in front of him and his anger began to fade. He couldn't stay mad at her when he saw that pretty face. That was the trouble with girls. Everything about them was meant to pull you in and make sure they took over your heart and your mind. And guys always fell into the trap, because it was impossible not to. That was the major trouble with girls-how every little thing about them did something to attract you to them. Yes, Josh finally understood the trouble with girls. It was that they were just too darn pretty for their own good.

* * *

><p><em>They smile that smile<br>They bat those eyes  
>They steal you with "hello"<br>They kill you with "Goodbye"  
>They hook you with one touch and you can't break free<br>Yeah the trouble with girls is nobody loves trouble as much as me_

Kemp Hurley couldn't stop staring at Kristen Gregory as she _tried _to tutor him in English. English may come naturally to some people, but not to Kemp. He couldn't understand anything that was simple, modern day english that was laid out for him plainly and simply. He was a typical boy after all. He didn't like to dig into his emotion and his deepest thoughts. And don't even get him started on punctuation and spelling. He couldn't do any of that nonsense to save his life. But, having Kristen tutor him just didn't work. Despite the fact that she was utterly brilliant and the smartest girl in all of OCD, every little thing she did pulled him in. She just smiled at him and batted her eyes and he was trapped in Kristen-land. She pulled him straight in when she said hello and didn't release him until she said goodbye. And then he died a little. If she'd touch him, even something as small as "accidently" brushing hands when working on a question or reaching for a pen, he was hooked to her. If they kissed, he wasn't able to stop. It was good that he loved her enough to not try anything she didn't hint at wanting, or else they would have gone all the way by now. And even Kemp knew that when that happened, everything went down hill fast. Kemp had a lot of experience. He knew the trouble girls were, but he knew that nobody loved trouble as much as him.

"So, I hear you're a player," Kristen said, looking up at him from across the table in the library. "Let's play a game," She declared. He eyed her, slightly amused and slightly confused as to what exactly was going on. "Let's sweet talk and play fight. We need to talk 24/7 and say good morning and good night each and every day. We'll have nicknames for each other, take walks together...hang out with each other's friends and go on dates. We can talk on the phone together all night long and hold each other and kiss and hug...whoever falls in love first? They lose," She said everything in a rush, but Kemp was so focused on her that he understood everything-each and every word, each and every hidden meaning.

"Guess I lost then," He shrugged.

"Me too," She grinned. "And that was a test," She winked. Kemp had figured that-but he hadn't lied. He knew Kristen wanted to hear that he loved her before she said it, and she'd given him the perfect opportunity. It had worked for both of them. "Now, back to "Romeo and Juliet"," She said. "It's really all about communication," She shrugged.

"You mean because Romeo thinks Juliet is dead so he kills himself? And then Juliet really does kill herself because she finds Romeo there dead?" He frowned.

"Exactly," She declared happily. Kemp smiled. He actually understood something in that strange language people said was actually _english? _He knew english-he spoke it daily. Shakespeare did not write _english. _It was british.

"And...well, it's not exactly a romance-it's more of a tragedy. The relationship only lasts three days and six people day, right? And two of them are the protagonists...and don't forget about the fact that she's only thirteen and he's seventeen-which is old back then, but young now," He went on in a rush.

"That could be considered true...but, I thought it was saying that teenagers can know what love is-that sometimes, they're the only ones who really understand it, because they're emotions are so much more than everybody else's," Kristen said slowly.

"It can be interpreted a million ways, can't it?" Kemp asked breathlessly.

"It can," Kristen smiled and it just pulled Kemp into a deeper form of love for her.

* * *

><p><em>They're sugar and spice and angel wings<br>And hell of wheels in tight blue jeans  
>A summer night down by the lake<br>An old memory that you can't shake  
>They're hard to find and yet there's so many of them<br>The way that you hate that you already love them_

Cam Fisher knew the _real _trouble with girls. They were sugar and spice and everything nice, yeah sure, whatever. That was exactly what they were made of. And they came from an angel's wings...because they all were angels, in their own way-unique and special, meant to come into the world and tear a boy's life apart. According to Greek mythology, humans were made with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a head with 2 faces. Zeus feared their potential power, so he split them into two seperate parts. They were condemned to spend the rest of their lives searching for their perfect half. Therefore, every girl was made specially for one boy out there. The hard part was finding the perfect one. Cam had found his-Claire Lyons, who was slowly making her way towards him in a pair of light denim skinny jeans with a hoodie and Converse. She looked like her old self and Cam had never seen her look sexier.

All he could remember were the memories. He couldn't shake the memory of their first kiss-the first time they'd said they loved each other. The first time they'd ever met. That summer where they'd spent every single night by the lake, talking about their futures as if they knew what was happening and where fate would lead them. They'd clearly been wrong about everything. But Cam was going to make things right. If she ever got to their table at Pinkberry's. Cam sighed as he watched all the girls pass by the table. It was so hard to find a girl-that was the hard part. THere were millions out there, but to find the one that was meant for you? It was almost an impossible feat. And sometimes you fell in love with a girl who wasn't meant for you. And then you hated that you already loved another when you met the one you needed to be with, because it just showed that maybe, just maybe, everything you assumed you knew was gone. Cam couldn't bare that thought.

"I don't wanna be Tinkerbelle," Claire declared, sliding into the booth across from him.

"Pardon?" He asked, confused.

"Tinkerbelle was always in love with Peter Pan. She gave him the gift of flight-to ride the winds-of eternal youth...She's the only companion he has who never left him, who's loyalty never wavered. But in the end, when she finally masters up enough courage to tell him how she feels? He's already flying off with Wendy. I don't want that to be us," She said softly.

"The thing is...sometimes, it's easier for us, as humans-as people-to be lost than found. That's probably why there we're always searching for something, even if we aren't sure what it is. We're rarely ever discovered...at least, not before it's too late. There's plenty of locks to go around, but I don't think there's enough keys." Cam rambled. "I mean...it's easier to love somebody and be with somebody who's willing to admit their feelings for you than to sit around and love that person when they're just as shy and anxious as you are," He sighed.

"Hayley Williams said that no boy is worth your teenage years. ANd I sorta agree. But he's worth it if he's willing to do something 80's movie worthy," Claire said slowly, looking at him with a mysterious smile before slipping from the booth and leaving him there alone.

Yes, the trouble with girls was most definitely how they were made of perfection and just so sweet you could never refuse them.

* * *

><p><em>The way they hold you out on the dance floor<br>They way they ride in the middle of your truck  
>THe way they give you a kiss at the front door<br>Leave you wishing you could have gone up  
>And just as you walk away<br>You hear that sweet voice say "stay"_

Derrick Harrington loved the way Massie had held him at the club after he'd arrived. He loved how he could just wrap his arms around her waist and she'd wrap her arms around his neck, her back to him, as they swayed to the music in a completely inapproriate manner that Derrick just lived for. He reminded driving her home in his truck and how she'd crawled right to the center of the bench seat in order to be closer to him, kicking her feet up onto the dashboard and singing along to the music, doing an impromto little dance to match each and every song, his cowboy hat on her face. She'd kissed him when they'd arrived back at her house, right there on the front steps. And then she'd turned to let herself in-she'd be staying there alone until Monday when her mother returned-and Derrick was just wishing he could have something more than just that kiss. And right as he turned to walk away, he heard her soft, sweet little voice whisper for him to stay.

And that explained why right now he was in Massie Block's bed, holding her as close as possible, the bed a mess, her in only his shirt from the night before, barely buttoned and him in only his boxers. He couldn't believe his luck-he'd gotten to have sex with Massie the night before. And she clearly wasn't a virgin with how amazing she was at it. It had been perfect, lasting for the longest amount of time Derrick had ever gone, and resulting in her lying in his arms as they fell asleep. Now, she was looking at him with a dirty grin on her face and he was eying her in his button down shirt. It ended right below her butt and was buttoned in a disordely fashion, her boobs practically falling out of the shirt.

"Hey there," She smiled, closing the distance between them to kiss him. "Morning," She winked. "I see you want me already," She said. "Or should I say "feel"," SHe teased.

"Watch it," He grinned, pulling her on top of him and kissing her hard. She responded better than he'd imagined, already working the buttons on her shirt and pulling it off as quickly as possible before she got to work on his boxers. "Nice wake up," He grinned, pulling her back to him to resume kissing her. He couldn't help but think about how lucky he was.


	24. Chapter 24:Her Eyes

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 24  
><em>****_A/N: I could still use song suggestions-they are always welcome._**

_She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light  
><em>_When she gets paid-true religion gets it all-if they fit right_**  
><strong>_She's a little manic completely organic_  
><em>Don't panic for the most part<br>She's old enough to know and young enough not to say no  
><em>_To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets_

Massie Block was not afraid of anything. She never backed down from a challenge. She would never pick truth over a dare. She lived for anything that would make her push herself just a little. She was brave, full of courage. So no, she was not afraid of anything. She was just very cautious. But only about love-that was the only time she did't dive right into the icy cold pool and take the freezing water all at once, head first, rather than slowly wading in. But, with Derrick, she was bolder. She wouldn't hestitate before she did anything. They'd been dating for just about a month now and Homecoming was in a week. Derrick had yet to ask her to go with him. But she wasn't like her old self where she'd be freaking out and assuming he didn't like her anymore. Instead, she was going to give it one more day. If he didn't ask her, she'd grab it by the reins and take it all on all at once, confronting him and maybe even asking him herself. Women had come a long way in the past hundred years. It was about time girls started taking these allowances and using them in their daily life. Sure, everyone wanted to believe chivalry wasn't dead, but it was clear that boys only offered to hold a door open for a girl because they wanted a polite excuse to check out her ass. Sometimes Massie chose to believe that chivalry didn't actually die...she just thought that there were some boys out there-well, a large percentage of them, especially American boys-who chose to ignore the rules of of the Knights Code of Conduct.

"Prove to me that chivalry is not dead," Massie whispered to Derrick as she passed him the hallway that day at the end of the day. Her and her friends were going to do their relationships the right way this time. Friendships would always come first for them. And everyday after school while the football team practiced, the girls-with the exception of Kristen-would go out and do something together. They'd have one hour together, with Kristen, after the boys practiced, and then they were free to do as they wished-but friends always came first.

"What's up?" Alicia asked as she slid into the the front seat of Massie's car.

"Whatever happened to chivalry? I mean, I want to ride off on a lawn mower with Patrick Dempsey-I want Jake from _Sixteen Candles _to wait outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson to thrust his fist into the air because he knows he finally got me. I'd like John Cussak to hold a boombox outside my window. Just once I would like my life to be like an 80's movie-a total cliche, preferrably with some big, random musical number at the end." Massie sighed as Dylan climbed into the back. "John Hughes did _not _direct my life," She shrugged. "Which sucks for him," She added as she pulled out of the parking lot and started towards the mall. She'd just gotten a new credit card from Daddy who was still trying to _buy _her love back-and True Religion had just gotten a new shipment of those incredible boyfriend fit jeans that made Massie's ass look incredible. She'd be maxing that card out in no time at all. "Because, you know, my life _rocks," _She cheered, pressing the radio on and blaring KISS FM.

Massie sighed as she drove towards the Westchester. She wasn't stupid-she was old enough to know that boys just weren't what stories made them out to be. Prince Charming was actually a player, if you ever read the actual fairy tales or thought to realize that each princess married Prince _Charming. _He was always the _same _guy-hunting for a princess while married to the queen. That was what this generation was-players and cheaters. It was rare to find a boy who wasn't like that and almost impossible to tame a boy to not be like that.

Her phone buzzed just as she parked her car. She reached for it and disobeyed her own rules by opening the text from Derrick.

**Derrington: Friday night-tickets to see the Mets, right on the first base line...home game**

Yes, Massie was old enough to know all of that about boys, but she was still young enough not to say no to a good time. Especially when it meant getting a free pass to see the Mets on their own turf. That was her team!

* * *

><p><em>Like everybody, she's in over her head<br>Dreads, Freds, Grateful Deads-and she doesn't take meds  
>She's a Gemini-Capricorn<br>Thinks all men are addicted to porn  
>I don't agree with her half the time<br>But, damn I'm glad she's mine_

Kristen Gregory looked disgusting. She was stressed out, barely getting any sleep, and had just gotten out of a practice where they'd been pushed harder than ever, all because they had a big game coming up soon. She needed to bring her grades up or her mother would start limiting her Kemp time and that was affecting her usual prep time in the morning and she was losing sleep because of all her worrying. She was way to deep. She was in over her head and didn't know how to swim. She was going to drown in her own sweat-and that disgusted her more than her frizzy, sweat-damp blonde hair that was falling from its twin braids. It bothered her more than her oily, slightly pimpled, pale and freckled face and it bothered her way more than her sweaty navy blue tank top and baggy soccer shorts in that horrid yellow color that didn't look good on anybody. She shook her head as she walked towards the locker room with the rest of the team. In movies, you'd see Kristen's character start popping pills at this point. She'd need them and she'd take them and everything would be good until she started to take too many and everything went down hill fast. But Kristen did not take drugs. It wasn't her. She was simple-everything about her was simple. It was the wonders of being a Gemini-Capricorn, as she was. That was her hardest decision each day-which horroscope she'd prefer to read.

"Let go of me," She giggled as Kemp Hurley picked her up on her way out of the locker room. Kemp was a player and a perv...but what guys weren't? If that was his biggest flaw, she could deal with it.

"No," He shook his head. They never agreed. They argued all the time and Kristen loved it. They didn't have the perfect relationship but it wasn't completely disfunction. They could tease each other and jokingly fight. Kristen loved that about their relationship and she loved how her friends envied it. It was nice to see them envy her of something.

"I'm so glad you're mine," Kemp said, burying his head in her neck.

"I've gotta go meet Massie," Kristen giggled, pushing him away even if she wasn't really trying to move him at all. "You know I have to spend time with my friends too," She reasoned.

"I'm your friend!" Kemp protested.

"I don't agree with you on that one," Kristen responded, starting to walk away towards the parking lot where she knew Massie would be waiting for her.

"I've got a new Grateful Dead CD," He tried. Kristen may be the sporty, brilliant, beautiful girl-but she loved that music that most people would call emo or punk-rock or heavy metal. She thought it was different and beautiful.

"As tempting as that sounds-I've gotta meet Mass," She sighed.

"She's not the Queen of the World," Kemp argued as Kristen approached the purple car.

"I beg to differ," Massie crackled from the front seat. "Kris, I'll let you off the hook today-knock yourself out," She winked as she drove away.

"I don't agree with _her _half the time," Kemp said slowly. "But I'm glad that she's my girlfriend's best friend." He said, picking her up swiftly and racing towards his car, Kristen squealing the laughter the whole way.

* * *

><p><em>She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had<br>__She loved Michael Jackson up until he made BAD  
>Tells me that lives about a hundred lives<em>  
><em>Scares me to death when she thinks and drives<em>  
><em>Says cowboy hates make her look fat<em>  
><em>and I'm so glad she's mine<em>

Dylan Marvil knew she was strong. And not just physically either. She was emotionally strong as well. She'd dealt with the pain of being kicked out of the Pretty Committee before and then having to fight her way back to the top and back into her rightful position in the clique. She'd had to deal with giving up her best friends for the sake of popularity-a big mistake, but painful none the less. She was capable to diet and stick to it, until something upset her of course. And now she was strong enough to be happy with what she looked like, despite all of her pencil-thin, Amazon-tall friends who could be models with their perfectly symettrical faces and luscious, glossy hair that always did as they commanded. They could wear Juicy sweats and look like they'd just left a Red Carpet event while Dylan looked like a fat slob. They were confident in ways Dylan was not, but she was strong enough to ignore it and fake her way through it. She was strong in a way that no man could ever be strong in, but that every single man in the world wished he was strong enough to be.

She no longer minded all of her differences-after all, she'd been the only girl in _all _of OCD who liked Michael Jackson from the time she was just a little baby to the exact moment he died. Dylan was one of those old souls who had lived about a hundred other lifetimes-and this one was by far her favorite. Dylan was writing her own story-all about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it once. She was no longer that easy queen bitch she'd been with Claire and Olivia. She was burpy, strong, tom-boy Dylan Marvil and everybody had two options. They could love her for it and worship her from a far. Or they could shut the hell up and let her be who she was. Dylan had one little ounce of proof that she truly was a good girl. She had always kept a diary and only good girls did that. Bad girls didn't have the time. And she was a beautiful girl on the top of the world-that was her only flaw. She needed to watch her every step, because angels could never touch the ground. Everybody knew that. From now on, Dylan would search only for love-which is what she found with Plovert-rather than lust-which was what she had with 'd get rid of her ego and keep her confidence. She was going to be classy rather than trashy.

Dylan had always waited for a prince. She'd settled for being Cinderella who needed a beautiful gown, a make-over, a gorgeous pair of shows, and a hot guy in high places to make her life better. Dylan was more like...Ariel. She was a princess in her own right-the princess of the entire sea. And she was gorgeous with a talent all of her own. She wasn't afraid to be strange and out-there, wanting things that she could never have. She would go looking for somebody who didn't love her because she was a princess. She wanted somebody who thought she was an ordinary girl and who would treat her as if she really were a princess.

"How come you never wear cowboy hats? I thought it was a new PC thing at first, but you never wore one," Plovert frowned later that day as they sat at a table in Subway, munching on huge, meaty sandwhiches and splitting a bag of Cool Ranch Dorritos.

"They make me look fat," Dylan made a face, taking a long sip of her soda. Dylan always acted like a lady...well, no, actually, she never had acted like a proper lady. But she'd always thought like a boss. She just couldn't think and focus on other things. Which was why Plovert didn't allow her to ever drive when they were together. He said it was too scary and too risky in case she started to think while they were on their way.

"I am so lucky to have you," Plovert chuckled as he shook his head. Dylan frowned in confusion. "You're not fat and nothing could make you look fat. You're gorgeous and sexy and I love everything about you. It kills me that you don't see what I see when I look at you," He sighed. "You always bring some sunshine to my day. Even if it's midnight, you just keep bringing me some sunshine," He smiled.

"I always feel beautiful when I'm with you," Dylan whispered to him.

* * *

><p><em>She doesn't know the word impossible<br>Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're going to_  
><em>She takes me as I am and that ain't easy<em>  
><em>She's beautiful-so beautiful<em>  
><em>And sometimes I think she's truly crazy<em>  
><em>And I love it<em>

Alicia Rivera did not know the meaning of the word impossible. She figured you always succeeded as long as you shot for the moon. Because even if you missed that target, you'd land amongst the stars. She'd had an amazing teacher when it came to not believing in impossibilities. Massie Block was always going through with something that people told her was impossible. She'd arrived back at Westchester and gotten Derrington back and away from Dylan within a week. She'd gotten Dylan to return from the dark side, despite the common knowledge that they had cookies-which everyone knew was Dylan's weakness. She'd gotten all of her friends back with the love of their lives. She'd gotten the key to the room from Skye and she'd gotten all of the PC dates to the most sought after party of the year, while getting Chris Abely there for Skye. She'd also gotten Chris to fall for her without even trying. And then she'd gotten all of her friends ninth grade boyfriends before she was shipped off to London-after convincing her parents to let her live out the remainder of the year in Westchester. She'd even turned down that incredible offer when she'd received it. And she knew that it while she'd thought it would be impossible to tell her mind to stop loving somebody when her heart was still beating only for him...she'd convinced herself to be over Josh, until he'd shown up at that club to save her.

Sure, she didn't ask Josh any questions about the years they were apart-she didn't really care, because she had him all to herself now and they could deal with whatever they had to as the time came to it. She didn't even care where they'd end up. She just wanted to enjoy her time with him. She loved all of his flaws-which was not easy because he had a lot of them.

And she was happy for once in years. And everybody had always told her how happiest girls were the prettiest. Alicia knew guys thought she was gorgorgeous and sexy, but she preferred to be beautiful-that was all. She wanted them to think she was simply beautiful and love her for her personality.

She hated that Josh was stuck resting because he'd hurt his ankle today at practice, but she text him and that was enough for her-for now.

**Alicia: Promise me something?  
>Josh: What?<br>Alicia: Promise me that for as long as you live, you'll never love anybody other than me.  
>Josh:Sometimes I think you're crazy<br>Alicia:Just promise!  
>Josh:I can't<br>Alicia:Did you love Claire? Or Allie...or is there somebody else?  
>Josh: Yeah...and she looks exactly like you but a few years younger...<br>Alicia: You're starting for younger girls already?  
>Josh:...and she will call you mommy<br>Alicia: aw**

Sometimes, Alicia just loved Josh too much to bare. And those were the times where he'd proven just how much he really loved her.


	25. Chapter 25:We Are Young

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 25_**

_Give me a second-I...I need to get my story straight  
>My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State<em>  
><em>My lover he's waiting for me-just across the bar<em>  
><em>My seat's been taken by some sunglasses asking about a scar and...<em>  
><em>I know I gave it to you months ago<em>  
><em>I know you're trying to forget <em>

_How did this happen? _Massie thought as she sat there in Principal Burns' office-during her _Homecoming _dance where she was a princess and nominated as _queen! _As a bloody junior. And here she was, wasting the night away in the principal's office. And it was all because of Claire. She sighed as she sat there in her purple, knee length dress that looked so beautiful on her. It was strapless, with a Cinderella like neckline and a tight bodice. The skirt floated out in a ballerina style at the waist and looked incredible with her silver, strappy heels and silver, glittery clutch. She closed her eyes and took a couple deep breathes, trying to get her story straight before she began to explain something she didn't even understand. She hadn't even done anything this time. And this was the time she actually got in trouble? She wanted to laugh at the irony of it all-but she knew that would just get her into some deeper shit.

"Well Miss Block? I'm waiting," the bird-like principal asked, glaring at her through her glasses. Somehow, the world's worst middle school principal had been asked to move up as the principal of the high school-and she was just as awful as Massie remembered.

"Just give me a second," Massie said, eyes still closed. She knew she wasn't helping her case, but between the headache she'd gotten from the music, the crowd, and this chaos and her confusion, she had no idea what she was supposed to do or say. All Massie knew was that each of her friends had been 'busted' in the bathroom for smoking. As if they'd want to get higher than the empire state! They weren't foolish. Sure, there had been smoke in there, but they had been innocent. It had been Claire and Olivia doing the drugs, but they'd left right before Claire had gone to Burns to bust the PC for something they _hadn't _done.

Derrick was waiting for her in the gym and she knew that only meant even more drama was bound to happen upon her return with the more time she was gone. After all, even the senior girls wanted to be with Derrington-the star, the golden boy-the school hunk. Everybody wanted him and they all knew he was with Massie, which made them want him even more. She would not allow her seat to be taken by some trashy little wanna-be, fake-name brand who thought she could enter Derrick's life by asking about some scar on his arm that only Massie knew the truth about. He did tend to have those anger management ready moments after all...

And what exactly had Massie done to deserve this? Sure, she'd been a bitch to Claire, but that had been _years _ago and Claire had volleyed back plenty of revenge tactics. She was pretty sure they were even by now. And Claire had Cam and the second most popular clique in school. Massie had barely spoken to her upon her return to Westchester. She was trying to forget their past feuds, but clearly Claire couldn't even attempt to do the same. Claire wanted war. And that would be exactly what Massie was going to give to her.

"I didn't do anything. Either did my friends. Why don't you check the cameras and then it'll prove to you that Claire and Olivia were the ones who were wrong. I'm sorry everybody's jealous of my friends and I, but frankly, I believe they deserve whatever punishment they get, times two for trying to blame it on _me _and my friends," Massie said brightly. "And I doubt my father would like it if he knew you wasted my homecoming by holding me _hostage _because of something a _scholarship _student said I did. Especially when said scholarship student is here only because my father pays in _full _for her scholarship," Massie smirked before getting up and walking right out.

* * *

><p><em>But between the drinks and subtle things<br>__The holes in my apologies-you know  
>I'm trying hard to take it back<br>So if by the time the bar closes  
>And you feel like falling down<br>I'll carry you home tonight_

Claire Lyons downed another cup of spiked punch and squeezed hard, crushing the cup between her manicured nails. She'd gone back to her old self to get Cam back, but she was her bitchy, slutty self again now. That was the new Claire Lyons-the one she'd become because that's who she was. She was always meant to be this way, and it had taken all of Massie's bull shit and Dylan's convincing to get her to become so. And she was never going to change who she was eve again.

But, between her not-so-subtle changes and all of the drinks, she was sorry-deeply sorry. She was sorry for what she'd just done to the PC and anything she'd ever done to them since the seventh grade. She missed them, she really did. But she knew there was no turning back now. She couldn't take it back, no matter how hard she tried. And she really was trying. But anything she tried just ended up making her second guess herself. She didn't know how to be sweet and innocent anymore. All she knew was how to be...this.

So, if she fell apart by the time the dance was over and Massie had busted her and Olivia-if everybody found out how awful and terrible she was? She didn't care. She was done caring. She filled a cup with more spiked punch and took a quick shot. And then another. She didn't care what these bitches thought about her. She was Claire Lyons and she was happy with who she was. Or was she?

Suddenly, everything was too much for her. The music was too loud and the people were too close. Did more people come in? Everything seemed to be blurred. She was dizzy. She could barely stand. Claire was wasted. She was high and drunk and miserable.

"Claire? Are you okay?" Cam asked, his arm wrapped around her.

"Claire Lyons-Olivia Ryan," Claire could barely turn around to face the principal as she angrily marched over, security guards behind her.

"Busted," Massie sing-songed as she passed.

And with that, Claire practically passed out, falling right into Cam's arms. And that was the last thing she remembered.

* * *

><p><em>Now i know that I'm not all that you got<br>I guess that I-I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart  
>But our friends are back<br>So let's raise a cup  
>Cause I found someone to carry me home<br>Tonight-we are young_

Massie didn't mind spending the remainder of her Homecoming in the hospital, sitting in the chair closest to Claire's bed. Alicia, leaning against the wall, close to the door, had complained at first, but after Massie's speech to the PC, she'd come along silently. Kristen and Dylan had been for it-they remembered all Claire had ever done for them and Dylan secretly blamed herself for what Claire had become. They sat together on the window sill, hugging each other with tears in their eyes and make-up streaked down their face.

"Claire?" Massie whispered, knowing she looked god awful, but not caring. "Listen, sweety," She said softly, seeing Claire's eyes open but not wanting her to do anything that would stress her out or tire her out. "I know I haven't been the best friend-and I know you've got other people to care about you now, but I think we should find some new ways to fall apart rather than...such _cliche _things, you know?" Massie said playfully, tears flooding her eyes again.

"Mass?" Claire managed to croak out.

"We're all friends again Claire, okay? It's all going back to the old days with the PC-so let's raise a cup with something _good _for us and celebrate," Massie said with a sad smile on her face.

"I...I found somebody else to carry me home," She whispered.

"What?" Massie asked, her eyes brows wrinkling in confusion.

"I don't need Cam...I love him-but I don't need Cam to do everything for me. I don't have to be so dependable on him. I can...I can lean on you guys," She turned towards Massie and the PC and smiled.

"Hey-let's not be so serious," Massie shook her head. "Tonight-we are young," She said brightly.


	26. Chapter 26:Somebody That I Used to Know

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>****_Chapter 26_**

_Now and then I think of when we were together  
>Like when you said you felt so happy you could die<br>Told myself that you were right for me  
>But felt so lonely in your company<br>But that was love and it's an ache I still remember  
>You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness<em>

Massie Block had not seen or spoken to Landon Crane since eighth grade, right before she'd left for London and they'd officially broken up. Derrick may be the boy she was in love with, but Landon had been her first experience with a love that was true and real and happy. He was her first prince charming and her first could-be happily ever after. And the thing he was the biggest was her biggest what-if. So it made sense that she was constantly thinking of when they'd been _Massie and Landon, _rather than Massie Block and Landon Craine, two people who never spoke and barely interacted with one another. She couldn't stop thinking of how happy she'd been. She felt like she'd never be happier and he said that that was the happiest he'd ever been in his life. They thought they'd die when they were forced apart. They knew that they were perfect for one another-their dogs were even soul mates. And that's how they'd met today.

Massie had been taking Bean for a walk the day after Homecoming, that Sunday, after all the drama. Bean had started to run, heading straight towards the park, just as she'd done the day Massie had been forced to wear Claire's stupid overalls. The day she'd crashed into Landon and gotten that perfect kiss that she'd always think of as her first _real _kiss. And just like that day, Massie practically crashed right into Landon. Of course, she looked much cuter than she had back in eighth grade. Her hair was in a sloppy, messy bun on the top of her head, falling sexily into her face, and her make-up was dull and natural. She was wearing boyfriend fit True Religion, faded jeans with a baggy sweat shirt-one of Derrick's, actually-and a black, cropped, razor back tank top and converse.

And Landon, the sexy senior that he was, had never looked hotter. His hair was shaggy, just a little too long, and falling messily into his sea foam green eyes. His face was tanned and his smile was bright. He looked just like Percy Jackson and Massie had never seen a better looking guy. Even Derrick's good looks paled a little to Landon's god-worthy looks.

Their relationship had been much deeper than looks of course. They had the fact that they acted like themselves around one another. They didn't have to pretend. Their love was natural and, though it was rough and choppy, they belonged together. There relationship was purely based on love and there was still a part of her heart that ached each and every time she remembered it. Or thought of Landon. Or was reminded of something that made her think of him or their time together.

And Massie actually enjoyed the pain. It was sick and twisted. It was cruel to her own mental state-but Landon had been the only boy who had never hurt her. Chris had turned out to be using her, to already have a girlfriend he loved. Derrick had abandoned her for Dylan-_Dylan _of all people! Sure, Dylan was gorgeous and funny, but so was Massie. And Massie and Derrick made much more sense than Dylan and Derrick. Cam had been talking about how annoying she was because he just wanted Claire. Dempsey had acted like he was into her, but he'd treated Layne the same. And then he'd ditched them both for Kristen. Landon-he was the only one who'd never hurt her. Sure, there had been the overly bronzed girls and Mary, but she'd been being a drama queen around Mary. And he'd told her himself that girls who were too bronzed were a turn off for him. Landon-he was always there for her.

"Massie?" That smile formed in an instant and those eyes brightened immediately. "Massie-you're back?" He said cheerfully.

"Yeah...I moved back right before school started," Massie frowned. "I'm...maybe I should have called you?" She looked at her feet.

"Nah...it's not like...it's not like we said we'd wait for one another," He sighed.

"Oh-so you're dating somebody?" She asked, slightly pained at that thought.

"No," He shook his head. And Massie was completely relieved.

* * *

><p><em>Like resignation to the end<br>__Always the end __  
><em>_So when we found that we could not make sense  
><em>_Well you said that we would still be friends  
>But I'll admit that I was glad<br>It was over_

Landon Crane would be lying if he said he was glad when Massie had ended things with him. He'd cried. He'd been the one to cry and Massie had been the strong one. But he could see the tears starting to flood those brilliant amber eyes. He could see how it was tearing her apart. He begged-oh, how he'd begged for her to consider that long distance relationship. He'd pleaded that she take up her parent's considerate offer to let her stay with Claire-just so they could have a few months more. He'd tried everything he could imagine. Because he knew that with a girl like Massie, the end meant just that. There were no second chances. When they were over, they would be over for good. But, he couldn't find a solution that made sense with her. He couldn't find a way to make things work that would be a sure fire way to make sure they could trust one another and stay together. They'd promised they could still be friends...but they hadn't stayed in touch.

And for that? He was glad. He wouldn't have been able to bare listening to her talk about a new boyfriend. He would die if she even uttered that she'd fallen in love again. He'd want to die if anything happened that was serious. And now she was back. She was back and right in front of him and she looked amazing. She looked better than he'd remembered. Her hair was glossier, her eyes brighter, her waist tinier, her legs longer, her arms stronger. Bean was still there with her, of course, and Bark was with him. The dogs didn't need a sign to know that it was okay to be back together. They just knew.

Landon wished her could be that bold.

"What about you? Anybody in your life?" He asked softly. He didn't want the answer. He was sure he wouldn't want to hear it. He knew Massie and he knew that there was no way guys could stay away from her. She was probably going out with a different boy each and every night. Or maybe she already had a new boyfriend. God, he hoped she wasn't taken. Then he wouldn't stand a chance, because they'd lose touch again. And by the time they met up again, she'd probably be married.

Not him-he couldn't date anyone. He couldn't even look at anybody else. He either saw something that reminded him of Massie and it hurt too much, or he saw something that just couldn't live up to Massie and it turned him off. He couldn't date a single person. He needed to be with Massie-he wanted her. But he wasn't the type of guy to be that bold.

"Um, yeah, actually, there is," She bit her bottom lip, the way she always did when she was holding back. He bet her new boyfriend didn't know about all her little quirks, her nervous habits. He bet he knew her better than any other boy in the world could.

"Oh, that's great...um, is it serious?" He asked and mentally kicked himself. He didn't want to hear the answer to that either. To a girl like Massie, a true romantic, everything was serious. If she could call it a relationship, it was serious to her. She created an elaborate idea of a fairy tale in her head and it could never live up to it. But to Massie, it was always perfect. She was okay with imperfections, because that made her story ten times better.

"Yeah...it is," She nodded, as if she were telling herself that as well as telling him. And that killed him because it meant the guy was great and Massie loved him. But he wasn't treating her the way Landon had treated her.

* * *

><p><em>But you didn't have to cut me off<br>Make out like it never happened  
>And that we were nothing<br>And I don't even need your love  
>But you treat me like a stranger<br>And I feel so rough_

Massie Block hated who she saw when she looked into the mirror. Never mind how gorgeous the reflection was. Forget about the complete and utter beauty behind that brunnette with the amber eyes. The mirror could lie and lie it did indeed. Because the girl that looked back at Massie looked real happy. She could tell jokes, smile, have a good time and laugh with all her friends. But she was dying inside. She was hurt and tired-tired of all the drama, tired of never being good enough for everybody else, and tired of life in general. She was just plain old tired. She didn't want to look dramatic though. She couldn't allow her weaknesses to show and she refused to act like she was seeking attention from anybody. So she kept it all bottle up inside. She put on a show, acting like everything was perfect even though she cried at night, just to fall asleep. Everybody thought she was so happy-the happiest girl they knew, the happiest girl out there. They assumed her life was perfect and she had no problems. But if they knew the truth? Oh, Massie wished they'd discover the truth, just so she could see how they'd treat her if they really knew her.

_I promise that there hasn't been a day where I've gone without thinking about you. I haven't gotten you out of my head since the day we met. _

But Landon didn't have to react the way he had to the break-up. He'd ignored her. She'd moved to London and all her numbers had gotten her changed. She'd been given a new phone that would work in the foreign country and when she'd lost Landon's number, she'd resulted in emails, but she'd gotten no reply. Her IMs went ignored-he was never online anymore. No matter what she did, she was ignored by the boy she loved. So she stopped trying. Because she really didn't want to be a bother to him. She didn't want to seem desperate either, so she'd sworn that from now on, if he wanted to talk to her, he had to make the effort. He needed to say hello first. Because Massie did not chase boys-no matter how cute or how much they meant to her. She was swearing off making the first move, despite whatever happened had happened between her and Derrick upon her return to Westchester.

Landon had acted like they were nothing-as if the relationship had meant nothing. He'd ignored her, blowing her off as if they had never happened. As if Massie and Landon had never been a couple. And it wasn't like she needed his love, but she didn't want to act like strangers. It sucked too much to lose his love.

She didn't have anyone to talk to about this either. Her friends would say it was normal to never forget about your first love. The boys would go running to Derrick, or flee before the conversation even began. And Derrick? He'd have a heartache.

"So, well, it was really great seeing you again. I'm glad we got to talk. But I should get going. I need to go visit Claire...she's in the hospital-she's pretty bad. And I guess they're thinking about a rehab center and-"Massie stopped there. She didn't need to tell Landon this. He no longer needed to care. It wasn't his problem and it wasn't his business.

"Claire Lyons? The blonde one that lived with you?"Massie nodded. "She was sweet. I liked her," Massie knew he was being honest. Landon was always sincere. He always meant what he said. "I hope she gets better soon," He nodded.

"Yeah...well...bye," Massie blurted before turning on her heel and running away, yanking Bean's leash to drag her dog with her.

* * *

><p><em>No you didn't have to stoop so low<br>Have your friends collect your records  
>And then change your number<br>I guess that I don't need that though  
>Now you're just somebody<br>That I used to know_

Landon Crane watched as Massie disappeared from view. When she was completely out of his vision, he turned around slowly and made his way towards a park bench, sitting down and allowing Bark to run around as far as the leash would allow.

"You didn't need to stoop so low," He whispered after her, knowing full well that she couldn't hear. But she'd been horrible to him. She'd had her friends go over one day and collect the things she'd left there. He'd given her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she wanted to make the relationship easier on him by taking away all reminders of herself from him. But then she'd changed her number and never even bothered to give him the new one. Maybe he didn't need her number anymore, but Landon didn't deserve that. He wasn't just some person that had been a part of her life for a little while. They'd been in love and they'd had a relationship.

And while he'd always hoped that maybe they could be two people meeting again for the first time, this hadn't worked out as planned. Massie and him both believed in love at first sight, didn't they? He most certainly did and from her reaction to him at the fashion show, he'd assumed she'd felt the same. Maybe he should have walked by her again today? They hadn't even met yet, they'd just seen each other, and already Landon was pulled in and put under her spell. Chris had been right about her. She was enchanting.

And while being her first love was great, he wished he could be her last love too. Because that would be beyond perfect. Then he'd know that he was the one she picked, despite any way she'd ever felt about anybody else. He couldn't have that. Some other guy did and he hated himself for not bothering to get a name. But when Massie had bumped into him today, it was like the first time they'd ever touched. He felt so lucky to have her, even though he knew that in the back of his mind, she was no longer his. And he still got those stupid butterflies.

There was one magic behind each and every first love. You were stuck in this ignorant state that it would never, ever end. You thought it would last forever and that no matter what the odds were, you'd end up together. Landon sighed as he sat there, alone.

"Hey dude," He looked up as DJ Taylor, his best friend-the only one of his ninth grade friends he was still close with-plopped down besides him. "Quick question-what's the fist thing you notice when you look at a girl?" He asked.

"That they're not Massie," He grumbled.

"Then you're never going to move on," He shrugged.

* * *

><p><em>Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over<br>Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done  
>But I don't wanna live that way<br>Reading into every word you say  
>You said that you could let it go<br>And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know_

Derrick Harrington knew something was up with Massie. She'd been weird ever since she'd gotten back from the park. She'd been quiet and kept to herself the entire time they'd bee at the hospital. And he was going to get to the bottom of it. After all, she only acted like this when something was wrong with _them._ And though he hated to admit it, there were times when he thought back to all those times when she'd hurt him and he'd been used by her. There had been that lie about their first kiss at Lake Placid. There was the whole 'hold' ordeal that kept him from being with Dylan-even if he really wanted Massie. There was the fact that she'd wanted to dump him because of his room and the fact that she'd been flirting with Chris Abely while dating him. There had been immature little plays for attention and blatant times where she'd totally blown him off. There were too many to count. And every time he just played the good boyfriend and thought that it was because of something he'd done to her.

And he'd finally gotten tired of having to deal with that every day. And that had made him ruin things with her. Now he had another chance and she was starting it all over again. He couldn't just over act like the last time though. He wouldn't allow it. Instead, he was going to talk to her and not lose her. He wouldn't try to dissect her every action or read into every single word. He wouldn't try to read her mind and assume her next thought or action. He was going to be the perfect boyfriend.

"What's bothering you?" He asked, whispering low in her ear so he wouldn't make a scene.

"I talked to Landon today," She whispered back, not looking at him.

He froze-she'd sworn that she was over him. That she could let him go and that she already had. And that Derrick would never need to worry about catching her hung up on him again.

"I thought he was just somebody that you used to know," He said thickly, trying to control his anger.

"I think...I don't know. I saw him and all those old feelings came back," She swallowed. He knew she was hurting and about to cry, but he honestly didn't care.

"I can't believe that you're still in love with him when you told me he's just 'somebody that you used to know,'" Derrick snapped before jumping to his feet and storming out of Claire's room. "Somebody that you used to know my ass,"


	27. Chapter 27:Should've Kissed You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 27  
><span>AN: More reviews would be lovely, please. I've been getting really long updates lately and I'd love to receive reviews that show it's worth it._ **

_Why am I mad  
>I don't get it<br>It seems like every time you give me signs  
>And I miss it<br>I did it again  
>I admit it<em>

Derrick Harrington didn't really understand why he was mad. He was constantly asking himself why he'd allowed himself to get so angry over Massie's lingering feelings for Landon. He'd already known from how Massie had acted during her and Landon's relationship that she honestly loved him in that teenage love way he'd never had with her before now. He understood that Landon would always be her first love. Yet it still killed him to know that Massie's feelings for Landon could still act up and have such an affect over her. People always swore that love wasn't a crush, but it was. A crush was called a crush because that was how you felt when they didn't feel the exact same way back. And Derrick felt just that now that he realized that the only person he could ever love, still loved her first love. He knew Massie wasn't lying when she said she loved him, but he also knew that she hadn't been completely truthful when she'd said she was over Landon and thought their relationship was officially over and meaningless to her from now on.

The thing was, Massie had no idea exactly how Derrick felt for her. And while that was his own fault, it sucked, because she didn't get to know just how much he cared about her. She'd never know how often her thought of her or how amazing and beautiful he considered her to be. She would never get to know what he thought they could become or how happy/sad she could make him feel at the same time. It was terrible that Massie would never know the effect she had on him-how she made him feel so alive or about that butterfly riot that she caused in his stomach whenever she talked to him. She didn't know how she made him worry that he'd one day lose her or how scared he was that she'd realize she could do so much better. She had no idea and she never would.

But she wanted to know. He knew that. She'd give him these signs sometimes and he'd just completely miss the fact that she wanted to know. And _that _sucked even more because everybody knew that hearts were most often broken by the words left unspoken. The thing was, Derrick couldn't tell her how much she meant to him without seeming petty and low. He'd seem desperate and clingy and he knew Massie didn't want that. But he'd lose if he didn't say something to show his love-to show his worth.

**Massie: y r u being such a jerk about this whole Landon thing? Do you know how hard it is to forget somebody who gave you so much to remember?**

She'd sent him the text hours ago but he'd yet to answer. Because he did know the difficulty of trying to forget about a person who's memory was so deep it seemed impossible. Massie had been that person in his life and he'd hated it. Even now, when they were a happy, perfect couple, Derrick sometimes tried to force her out of his thoughts so he could focus on football or school. And nobody knew how hard it was to make that effort-because it never worked. Sure, he got jealous and mad-worried and curious. But it was only because he loved her so much and didn't want to lose her. He needed to reply to her-he knew that. But every reply he came up with sounded lame and stupid. He understood she would just get madder with the more space that lasted between his reply and her first text, but he needed something to make her anger melt away and he couldn't think of anything. Until...

**Derrick: I'm just upset because...when I'm older and my kids ask me about my first love, I'm not going to have to pull out a picture and tell them some historical story about the girl that got away. I'm just going to point to you. But you? You're going to have to pull out the photo album and find that faded picture of Landon, and those feelings will still be there. All my love is in you and your love is split between Landon and me and I hate having to share you.**

* * *

><p><em>I left you standing there<br>And now I regret it  
>Seems like every time<br>I get the chance  
>I lose my cool<br>And I blow it_

Landon Crane knew he was being stupid to compare every girl to Massie-DJ was right that he'd never move on-but nobody seemed to understand that a man would always return to his first love. Clearly Massie didn't care as much about him though. She'd left him standing there alone, and he could only hope that she regretted it. But she probably didn't, because he was the one who was lonely and left to wallow in his self pity, thinking about the girl that got away-his first love.

After all-what is pain? First love.

What triggers pain? Memories.

What heals the pain? Time.

What will lengthen said pain? Martyrdom.

What's the first sign of pain? Tears.

What's the first instinct against pain? Denial.

What is the primary stressor of pain? Theme song.

What's the history of all pain? Break-up.

How do you remove pain? You let go.

How do you forget about the pain? You move on.

Why must we experience pain? We've all got a heart and we all have a heart that loves.

Landon had gotten a second chance, something that was very rare among common, every day people, and he'd blown it, just like he always did. He'd lost his cool and he'd blown his second chance of getting Massie Block.

* * *

><p><em>I should've kissed you<br>__I should've told you  
><em>_Told you just how I feel  
><em>_And next time I won't stop  
><em>_I'll listen to my heart  
><em>_Cause what I feel is real_

Massie Block sat in her room, staring out the window at the pouring rain, wondering how her life could ever make sense again. All she could think about was how teenagers should need to take a course in school about love. That was the important stuff. That's what mattered to them. That would help them to mature and live in the real world. She sighed as she sat there, thinking about everything in the past. And then she reached for her favorite purple pen and a spiral notebook and began to write.

_Remember the day we first started talking? That was the day that stared you and I. You are my first attempt at a real, true, honest love. It's the kind of love you only happens once and it lasts forever. People will constantly look at us when they see us together and say that we're perfect-even if we aren't actually together anymore. I still remember that awkward feeling I got when we first met. I wasn't sure what to say at first or what to reply to you. I was so worried about everything and in the end I just needed to be myself. Everything's better when it's the first. The first bite of a slice of pizza...the first time wearing a new outfit...the first day of a new hair cut and the first glass of milk from a new carton. That first drop of a rollercoaster-god, that's **so **much like first love it's not even funny. The sad part is...when we first met, I honestly had no idea just how important you'd be to me. _

__She paused here, thinking of her interactions today with this boy, the one she was writing about. She shouldn't have let things end that way. She should have kissed him-should have told him exactly how she felt so that there were no misgivings and nothing to be undecided. She could have stopped the drama and controlled the stress. Everything was in her hands actually and she'd just let it all go to waste. Sometimes, Massie Block was an idiot. She went back to her writing.

_Everything that I told him...I've told you first, you know that right? And I guess I should pick you because Johnny Depp always said that when you were in love with two people and you needed to pick, you should pick the second person. After all, if you really loved the first, you would have never noticed the second, right? Then again, the one good advice my daddy ever gave me was that when you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter what, you can't go back. The feeling you get after your first love never leaves you. I'm pretty sure he stole that from the Notebook, but it's true none the less. I wasted this love, just like when you're stopped at a red light and you see some totally hot person in the car next to you and they smile at you and you smile back. It's a beautiful thing and you honestly think it's going to be love and that it's real. But then the light turns green and they drive off to go meet their own special somebody for a date and you're on your way to meeting your current partner for dinner. And it kills you a little, because you wonder 'what if'. Those are my exact feelings about you. _

Massie stopped here and sighed. The next opportunity she got, she wasn't going to let her head stop her from following her heart's orders. The next time she saw him, she was going to plant a big kiss right on the lips of...


	28. Chapter 28:Goodnight

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 28  
><em>AN: Still waiting on more reviews. And anonymous reviews can be received now-thanks for the hint, cuz I had no idea I had it blocked._**

****_Sat in my car  
>Til you turned off your porch light<br>I should have kissed you  
>I should have pushed you up against the wall<br>I should have kissed you  
>Just like I wasn't scared at all<em>

Landon Crane officially felt like a creepy, psycho ex-boyfriend who's only resort left was stalking. He'd always sworn that he would never be like that and he secretly believed that they didn't really exist. Yet, here he was, sitting in his car outside of Massie's house. He was sitting there even after a depressed looking Massie had walked in. The rain had started yet he was still here. It was the day after their meeting and he was here, just like he had longed to be the night before. He sat there even as her mother returned from work and turned off all of the outside lights before entering the house herself. He was still here and it was almost midnight. His mother would be getting worried soon-curfew was right at midnight but Landon always returned by eleven at the latest. Not tonight-not anymore. He needed another chance, because he should have kissed Massie when he'd had the chance yesterday. He could have just ignored his fears and skipped the niceties and swept in with a lip lock to end all other kisses. He could have pulled her close to him right then and there. And if she came outside now, he'd pin her to his car and kiss her, with her back leaning up right against it. And if she wanted a little more, that was fine with him. He wanted Massie and he didn't care what came with the cost.

He'd turned off the car hours ago-it didn't matter how big and famous his mother's shop got, they would still be hurting financially because of his father and his gambling addictions and the debt he'd left the family in before running off with his new medical degree and new wife who was young enough to be Landon's older sister. He shook the memories of his father from his head as he debated what would happen if he flung open this door and ran across the yard right to her front door. He secretly prayed that she'd open it before he could even knock and meet him out on the front porch to kiss him before he had the chance. Because as bold as Landon wished he was, he didn't think he'd be able to kiss another guy's girl. It just wasn't him, no matter how incredible Massie may be. That's why he hadn't asked who this new guy was. It was easier to imagine him meaning less to Massie than Landon did if he didn't have a name or a face. Landon knew that if he actually had the courage to race towards that ranch house to kiss the girl of his dreams, he'd be more than half scared to death. He'd be breathless even more he saw her breath taking beauty. But, weren't the moments everybody lived for? The ones that were daring and risky and belonged in movies and books rather than in reality?

There was a reason everybody wanted love. It was the closest thing that mere mortals could have to magic. That was what made fairytales so famous. Everybody wanted to believe that love was really out there. And sometimes, right in the middle of everyday, ordinary life, you were thrown a curve ball and you got something so magical that you could only call it a happily ever after. And that was when you got love. Those were the movie-ready moments in life. Those were the moments where all you could think about was how it couldn't be real because it made your life seem like a book. Those moments kept the feelings they gave us alive even after they were gone. The memories themselves could give you butterflies in your stomach and make your heart stop. It took your breath away and made your brain stop working for just a little while.

And Landon longed for the day he'd get that moment. But he wouldn't be happy-he wouldn't rest-unless that moment was with Massie Block.

* * *

><p><em>You couldn't see me watching through the window<br>Wondering what went wrong-praying that you wouldn't go  
>You should have kissed me<br>You should have pushed me up against the wall  
>You should have kissed me<br>I was right on the edge and ready to fall_

Massie Block knew that Landon was out there. She'd been waiting from the window in her room since she'd gotten home. She'd first spotted the car while pulling into her driveway. He wasn't as sneaky as he believed, clearly, and it was a wonder her mother hadn't spotted him. Then again, Kendra had always been rather oblivious when it came to matters in her daughter's life. She knew everything about everyone-except for her own flesh and blood. But, Massie tried as hard as she could not to dwell on the negative aspects of her life. It was proven harder now, when all she could think about was what went wrong between her and Landon. It couldn't be that they no longer loved each other, or else she wouldn't feel compelled to watch him sit in his car outside her house. And he wouldn't be here if he didn't care about her. So it was clear that the feelings for each other were still there, strong and alive. Massie sighed, remembering her promise from the night before but dreading actually walking outside and making it come true. How could she kiss Landon while dating Derrick? But, she also hoped that Landon would stay, which was foolish. How long could he stay out there doing nothing? He would surely leave if she didn't make a move, because he'd think she no longer loved him. Which couldn't be farther from the truth, despite her feelings for Derrick. Everything was just so confusing right now. Massie may be gorgeous and special, but she'd never had to pick between two boys who loved her before. And she'd never loved two boys at the same time, especially when both loved her. It would be much easier to pick if thoughts of Landon kissing her didn't keep popping up in her head. If he'd simply been waiting on her front porch, by the door, when she'd gotten home, he could have kissed her, pressing her up against the wall. And she would have kissed back until she needed to breath. While he kissed her neck, she'd unlock the door and lead the way into the house. Then she would leap into his arms and allow him to take her upstairs and have his way with her. They could go on for hours, hot and steamy, because they had a lot of catching up to do. Yes, Massie was that willing and ready to be with Landon. She was right on the edge and she was ready to fall right into his arms. She only hoped he was ready to catch her.

"That's it then. There's my decision," She said firmly as she checked her outfit and shook her head. She slipped out of Derrick's oversized tee shirt and her cotton shorts and instead put on a lacy, short, cami night gown from Victoria's Secret. It was black with red lacing and her boobs were barely contained by it and her ass barely covered. It was perfect and it would be sure to make Landon want her. But first she needed to deal with Derrick...no. That could wait. After all, how could she break up with him over a text message or a phone call when they both knew it was because of Landon. Then again, he already knew it was over, right?

No. She couldn't do it. She slipped on normal pajamas again. It would all wait until the next night. She loved Derrick. She really did. And she couldn't rush into things with Landon. That would be wrong. That would be _so wrong. _


	29. Chapter 29:As Long As You're Mine

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 29_**

_My wildest dreams could not foresee  
>Lying besides you with wanting me<br>Just for this moment  
>As long as you're mine<br>I've lost as resistance  
>And crossed some borderline<br>_

Massie Block was back in the Victoria's Secret night gown. She'd decided she would stay right there in her room and let fate run its course. After all, she couldn't tell the future. Even her wildest dreams could not predict what would happen without any nudging. And if it ended up with Landon lying besides her, wanting her more than she wanted him, then so be it. That clearly meant that they were supposed to be together, didn't it? No question about it. And just in that one moment, if it ever became a reality and Massie really could call Landon her own again, then she'd admit it. She'd simply lost all resistance and crossed some borderlines. After all, she was just a teenager. And she couldn't believe Landon still loved her until he was kissing her much too fiercely for them just being reunited the day before. She needed him to hold her as tightly as possible to help her believe that Landon really was there with her. And if it turns out that it was all a fantasy that seemed much too real? Well, she'd make sure that the illusion was as amazing as possible. She wanted each second in that dream to be as memorable as possible. Ever last moment would last as long as Landon was hers, in reality or fantasy.

Massie sighed as she forced herself to stay awake, lying there in bed, dreading what would happen next, but excited all the same. She felt like a silly, love struck teenager about to have sex for the first time. That had to mean something. The fact that Landon reawakened her as if it were her first time falling in love, her first time making love, all over again. Every moment that she wasted thinking about him was filled with a desperate longing that Massie couldn't believe belonged to her. She wasn't desperate. She wasn't a silly love struck girl. She was Massie Block and everybody wanted her. Nobody worth her time thought she wasn't worth theirs. And Landon and Massie simply needed to be together right now because they had to make up for lost time.

And she'd done him a terrible wrong, having sex with James and Derrick. She needed to make it right with him. That was an excuse, a dumb one. She really just wanted him. His strong arms around her. His warm lips on hers. His eyes locked on hers. Him inside her and his voice claiming her as his own. Maybe it was the fact that it was forbidden, but everything Massie fantasized about with Landon, despite having done it multiple times before, seemed much more special-much dirtier. And she was completely prepared for it. She wanted him right now-all of him, one hundred percent. She was ready for whatever would happen afterwards as long as they had this one night.

She grabbed her phone and almost dropped it as it went off right in her hands. She fumbled to open the message from Landon.

**Landon: on my way up ;)**

She sighed in relief. Okay, yes, she'll admit it. She'd tempted fate just a little.

**Massie: Come up**

* * *

><p><em>Maybe I'm brainless<br>Maybe I'm wise  
>But you've got me seeing<br>Through different eyes  
>Somehow I've fallen under your spell<br>And somehow I'm feeling-it's up that I fell_

Landon Crane considered himself an idiot as he climbed up through Massie's window and entered her room. She had a boyfriend. They'd broken up. They were history and her present was with this unnamed boy. But, when Landon entered her room and saw her lying there in that sexy little dress with her boobs falling out of it and her ass playing peek a boo, he couldn't help himself. He felt like the smartest guy on the planet. After all, he was looking at this taken girl who wanted him. He wasn't Landon Crane right now and she wasn't Massie Block. They weren't a love story-just a boy and a girl. And he'd fallen under her spell-but he felt like he'd fallen up. It wasn't just his dick either. He'd gone way up-his entire life.

"Say there's no future for us as a pair," He ordered. She cocked an eyebrow as if she already knew that. But she still answered him.

"I don't care," She smiled, the strap of her dress falling and revealing just a little more boob. "But just for this moment-I just want you to me mine," She said, rolling onto her stomach, smooshing her boobs as she stared at him. "Come to me and we can be whatever you want," She beckoned with only her voice, like a siren might. "And see just how wonderful we are together," She challenged.

"I can borrow the moonlight," He snapped off the light and they were alone in the dark. "Just untl we're over. Because I know I'm in hell-it's a sin, to hold you," He shook his head. She gave him an 'are you finished' look and he lunger towards her.

She rolled onto her back, allowing him on top of her as they kissed as hungrily as they wanted. Her hands knew exactly what to do to undress him and he practically tore the little night gown in his impatience to get it off of her. And it just went on from there, like two love struck teenagers, in love, having sex for the first time.

"What's wrong?" Landon asked Massie when it was over, as they laid there in her bed, in each other's arms.

"Nothing,"She shook her head. "It's just...for the first time..."She sighed. "I feel truly..._bad," _And though he knew what she meant, he also knew that she felt horrible for hurting her new boyfriend. And he felt the same tinge of regret that he knew she felt. This wasn't supposed to happen. It was great. And it would help him get over her-but it wasn't supposed to happen. She was meant to be with this other guy. At least, right now, in this moment, anyways. So, he got up and left, despite knowing that she truly meant bad as in...a bad girl who wasn't afraid to take risks and do what she wanted without thinking of the consequences.


	30. Chapter 30:So Do You Believe Me Now

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 30_**

_Do you remember the day I turned to and said  
><em>_I didn't like the way he was looking at you  
>And how he made you laugh<br>You just couldn't get what I was saying  
>It was my imagination<br>So do you believe me now?_

Derrick Harrington sat there at Starbucks wishing he were anywhere else. He knew what was going to happen. He knew Massie had bad news. And he knew it was going to be about Landon. He hoped he was wrong, of course, but he wasn't foolish enough to actually believe that he was. He knew what was about to happen and he was positive that it would hurt him, maybe even kill him. He knew it would break his heart.

"Derrick, I'm _so _sorry," She began. "It was stupid, foolish mistake that I wish I could take back. I was just so hurt that you were ignoring me and angry that you wouldn't talk to me. And yes, I do still care about Landon, but it's only because he was my first experience with true 's hard to get over, Der," She said softly, staring into her Caramel Mocha frappicino as if the whip cream held all of the answers her her problems. Derrick was more than a little shocked that she'd actually ordered something with so many calories or so much fat content, and if the circumstances were different, he would actually be a little proud of her. "I slept with Landon last night and I regret it. And I'm not foolish enough to think you'd buy it if I said this was experience and not a mistake. I just...Der, I'm so sorry and I don't know what I can do to make things right," She pleaded, her amber eyes filling with tears. "And I'm not just saying this because he walked out on me after it happened," She added in a barely audible whisper, the tears threatening to leak out.

This is what killed Derrick, seeing her so upset. It actually took his anger and tossed it away. Well, his anger at Massie. He wanted to kill Landon, especially for turning Massie Block into a hump and dump. You didn't do that to a goddess. You worshipped her if you were lucky enough to get her. You couldn't just toss her aside when you were done with her. He wanted to kill Landon Crane, but first, he wanted to comfort Massie. But...could things ever be the same after this? He stared at his Vanilla Bean frappicino in silence, trying to think about what he could possibly say.

"I don't know what to say," He blurted. "Except for...do you remember that day, back in eighth grade, right after you forgave Dylan? You'd just met him a few weeks ago, I believe. And I told you that I didn't like the way he was looking at you?" _And how I hated how he was making you laugh, _He added silently. He hadn't added that part, because that showed his jealousy. But he had told Massie that he didn't like how Landon was look at her as if she were a piece of meat, a trophy to be won. "You didn't really understand though...I think you thought I was jealous or something, which I was. But you said you were free to do whatever you wanted, and it was just my imagination if I thought Landon was looking at you as if he only cared about your body, because he was different," He went on, shaking his head. "Do you believe me now?" He asked her softly.

"Even with the circumstances, I don't think Landon meant for that to happen. I made it quite clear after wards that I felt awful for what I did to you. And that was when he left." She said, still not looking up at him.

Derrick shook his head in disgust. "_Landon freaking Crane-_that's the cause of our freaking break up-are you happy now?" He asked bitterly. "I hope he was worth it, because I'm done, Massie, I'm done. I can't bare to be heart broken by you ever again. I can't let you hurt me anymore. And I can't sit here and watch you defend Landon Crane for leaving you after he had sex with you while dating me," He said, jumping to his feet. "I'm done," He snapped, kicking the table and storming out, his drink and her own falling and flooding the table, spilling all over Massie Block. And that's when Derrick heard the first cry. That was when he realized that Massie Block was crying, in public, for the first time ever. And it was because of him.

He turned around to join her again and swore under his breath. There _he _was. Sweeping in and taking Derrick's place to comfort her-even after he'd left her the night before, alone, after their first time having sex. It disgusted Derrick, but mostly because that should be him.

* * *

><p><em>I guess I really wasn't that crazy<br>And I knew what I was talking about  
>Every time the sun goes down<br>He's the one that's holding you baby  
>Yeah and it's me that's missing you way across town<br>So do you believe me now?_

__Derrick Harrington had been single for a week. He was fairly certain that Massie and Landon were officially dating, but Alicia had just glared at him when he'd asked. Claire was entered in a rehab center so he couldn't ask her. Dylan had just sadly shaken his head and he wasn't sure what that meant. Kristen was the only one talking to him, and she'd only said that Landon and Massie were always together. She'd said Massie would only talk to him and Alicia, with the occasional phone call to Kristen. Derrick sighed, hating that he'd done this to the girl he loved.

"I mean, I warned her about this," Derrick sighed, sitting with Kristen at Pinkberry's after their practice.

"You mean like how Kemp's warning me about you?" She teased. He knew it was a hint-a hint that he was asking for too much of her time and Kemp was getting annoyed. He wasn't stupid. But he needed Kristen. She was the only person he could talk to without being made fun of or ignored.

"Very funny," Derrick rolled his eyes. "But I mean, clearly I knew what I was talking about. Because now, he's the one that gets to hold her and I don't. I'm stuck all alone to miss her and want her back while the jerk that cheated gets her." He replied.

"How'd you hear about that?" Kristen froze.

"Hear about what?"He asked.

"Nothing," She shook her head.

"Kristen, what's going on?" He asked.

"In eighth grade...after Massie went to London...Dune and I had broken up because of the upgrades and I'd been with DJ and...I'd just broken up with him and Landon came over and started hitting on me and stuff and we ended up making out. I haven't told anybody about that," Kristen lowered her head.

"Massie and him were broken up," Derrick frowned. "What's the big-"

"I don't want Kemp to know. And he told me that while he was dating Massie, he had another girl on the side, because Massie didn't put out," Kristen shook her head. "His words," She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Why didn't she just believe me?" Derrick groaned.


	31. Chapter 31:She Ain't You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 31_**

_No, she ain't-she ain't you  
>You make it hard for me to see somebody else<br>__I'm calling her your name, yes, messed up  
><em>_Cause I'm thinking about you-it's your fault babe  
><em>_I never wanted us to break up, no, not this way  
><em>_But you don't understand it girl_

Derrick Harrington needed to get over Massie. The problem was, the very first thing he noticed about any other girl was that she wasn't Massie. And then he didn't notice her anymore. He couldn't see the beauty in anybody else when he was so focused on Massie. It was hard for him to even have a conversation with another girl. He wanted to be with Massie-he saw little hints of her in every girl out there, whether it be something they're wearing or how they act, maybe even their looks. And when he did manage to talk to a girl and start to be his old, player-like self? He ended up calling her Massie and ruining everything. She'd turned Derrick into damaged goods and destroyed him. It helped him a little to know that she was no longer hanging out with Landon. Kristen had told her everything. But it sucked to know that Landon had caused this and then gotten to safely leave the picture without having to see her anymore. Derrick didn't have that. And now that Massie had been single for a month, she was happy and her old self again. At least, on the outside. Derrick could never be sure what was happening on the inside of a girl.

Derrick sighed as yet another Massie-memory came back. That was all he ever thought about, and it was one hundred percent her fault. Nobody else could be blamed but Massie Block. He'd never wanted them to break up, especially not this way. But she'd made it impossible for anything else to happen. And she just didn't understand what it was doing to him. He really was trying to move on, but it was so hard. He couldn't bare it. Every other girl was just too similar to her-every girl at OCD wanted to be like Massie in some way, and Derrick wished he could tell them they were succeeding.

So, that's why he was meeting Olivia Ryan for dinner this Friday night, the day after Thanksgiving. Olivia was the only girl without a single trace of Massie in her system and that was good. Maybe he needed somebody who was the total opposite of the girl he loved so much. But, when Olivia had touched his arm to comment on his strength, he found himself wishing that it had been Massie's hands and her voice. He was wishing that the girl sitting across the table, making provacative comments towards him was Massie, not Olivia. Because his newfound relationship with Olivia would be just like his and Dylan's had been. All about the sex, rather than the romance-no matter how messed up it had been-he'd had with Massie.

If he could trade Olivia in for Massie, he most certainly would. It wouldn't take a second thought. Nobody in the entire world could pass up a girl as incredible as Massie. Of course, maybe the same could be said about Olivia, but not in Derrick's eyes. He really thought that he should let Olivia go, but it was impossible to leave Massie alone without her. Everyday he was with Olivia, he wanted to be her-Massie. And he really would leave this relationship, but he was afraid that Massie didn't feel the same and that would be horrible. Then he'd be heartbroken again and rejected. And he'd have hurt Olivia. He couldn't do that. But, god, it didn't take an idiot to realize that Olivia was no Massie. No, they just weren't the same.

Derrick hadn't had sex with Olivia yet, of course, he was a good guy. It didn't matter that then'd been dating since November 1st-he couldn't sleep with Olivia because sex couldn't ever be the same after he was with Massie. But, it wasn't the same in his own bed anymore either. He knew he'd be dreaming of Massie and wake up knowing they'd never be a reality. If Olivia found out what was going on in Derrick's mind, it would be bad-she'd end things and tell everybody about how desperate he was. But nobody understood his desperation or his longing when it came to Massie.

"Derrick? Are you alright?" Olivia asked, lowering the low cut, fuzzy, hot pink sweater she was wearing with the impossibly short, black spandexy skirt that couldn't possibly be keeping her warm. Of course, her hooker boots-thigh high, black leather-were probably helping her.

"Of course," Derrick shook his head. "I'm just...thinking," He said.

"Oh, I hate that...but, if you want to leave, we could always go back to my place," She winked, leaning across the table to give him a better view of her cleavage. But it was too perfect-nothing like Massie's which was natural, not bought from plastic surgery. "If you know what I mean," She said, a smile on her face.

"Olivia," He shook his head. "I'm really not like that," He said.

"Since when? Everyone knows about your constant hook-ups with Dylan, and Massie told everyone about how you guys had sex right after you got back together. Are you, like, grossed out by me or something?" She pouted in an attempt to look sexy.

"Massie told everyone?" He asked.

"Duh," Olivia rolled her eyes.

"On second thought...I'll take you up on that offer," Derrick said softly.

"Thought so," Olivia grinned, jumping to her feet and grabbing Derrick's hand, pulling him from the restaurant. They entered Derrick's truck and just like that, Olivia was on top of him, kissing him as passionately as he'd ever been kissed. She loosened his tie and had it off in no time at all and then she unbuttoned his shirt, following down to playfully lick his stomach as she took his shirt off, sliding it off, her hands sliding over his smooth skin. She went to his pants next and as soon as the underwear came off she was giving him the best blow job he'd ever had in his life. She came back up after a few moments and took off her sweater, sliding out of her skirt and lying on top of him, kissing him again. She was doing all the work, and it was different from Massie, but Derrick still enjoyed it.

"Am I good?" She asked him, once she was done, her voice a low whisper in his ear. He moaned and she'd taken that as a satisfactory answer, but he knew what he'd moaned.

_"Massie,"_


	32. Chapter 32:Permanent Marker

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><strong>_A Clique Fan Fiction  
><strong>Chapter 32<strong>_

_I know he loved you a long time ago  
><em>_I ain't jealous of you  
>Just thought you should know<br>__You were never good enough for him  
>Or anything like me<br>So you might as well sit back cause I ain't trying to show maturity. _

Olivia Ryan was going to deal with Massie. After all, it was clear that Derrick-her boyfriend-still had feelings for Massie Block-he'd said her freaking name when they were having _sex!_ But Olivia did not allow her boyfriends to have anybody on her mind other than herself. And the fact that Derrick still loved Massie was not going well with her. Sure, everybody knew they'd loved each other but that had been a very long time ago. Olivia wasn't jealous of Massie either. She just couldn't stand her boyfriend having feelings for some slut.

So, she'd gone through Derrick's things on Friday after their date when they'd gone back to his house and on every single picture of Massie, she'd drawn a large, bold X right through her face in a permanent marker. It would work as a constant reminder of the mark that Massie had left on Derrick's heart. How did she think she was to claim his heart? They were teenagers and love didn't exist for them. They were supposed to be wild and carefree. Not lovestruck at such a young age. So a big bold X now ruined all of Massie's perfect features.

It wasn't like Massie deserved Derrick anyways. She wasn't good enough for him and they were not a good couple. Not like she and Derrick were. They belonged together, not the queen bitch and the golden boy. Olivia knew how it worked. Social standing was everything and while Olivia may be friendless, she had the boys and that was all she really needed to rule at BOCD. And that was what she'd be using.

"Hey bitch," Olivia called towards Massie, walking towards her in Stilhetto ankle boots with a high heel in a deep, rich black color. She wore it with tight black leggings and a long-ish pink shirt from Express with stripes of sequence to it. Her hair was in a high, wavy ponytail and she knew she looked good. "A relationship is meant for two, so maybe you should learn to count, cause you're a third," She snapped as she approached her.

"What are you _talking _about?" Massie asked, sighing as she closed her locker and turned to face Olivia. "Are you talking about Derrick? Because we're _over. _He broke up with me because he has trust issues and problems with jealousy." Massie said, almost as if she were trying to convince herself.

"He still likes you-still loves you. And I won't stand for it," Olivia crossed her arms.

"Then sit down, because I can't do anything about his feelings," Massie shrugged. She looked like she belonged in Aspens, in a chocolate brown pencil mini skirt with a fake fur, brown vest over a three quarter length mocha colored brown v-neck sweater and brown Uggs, her hair straightened with a new set of full bangs falling right above her perfectly plucked eyebrows. She resembled Lea Michele in season 2 of Glee.

"You think you're so cool and all, but you're not," Olivia said.

"I don't think anything," Massie shrugged. "Oh, wait, nevermind. That's _you,"_She smirked and turned and walked away.

"I saw that picture of you in that green dress," Olivia called. Massie paused and slowly turned around, drawing all eyes onto her.

"We sure had a great time that night," Massie said brightly, remembering the tree lighting ceremony back in the seventh grade. "Derrick keeps it hanging on his wall, doesn't he?" She taunted, a smug smile on her glossy lips.

"He _did,"_ Olivia said. "It took him a long time to clean up that mess the other day...he found about thirty pieces of it...but I doubt he'll ever find them all. It was so funny, watching him try to tape them all back together-but, at least he learned his lesson and he kept all the pictures of you off the wall," She said brightly.

"Psycho girlfriend anybody? Did you draw on my pictures too?" Massie taunted, acting as if she were talking to a stupid little kid. Olivia fumed.

"With a permanent marker, just like the mark you knew you were making on his heart," Olivia shot back.

They girls stared at one another for a few moments, nobody making a sound around them. Until Derrick joined the picture.

"Hey, Liv, what's going on?" He said brightly, putting an arm around her waist.

"Well," Massie began with fake sweetness. "_Liv _and I were just talking about that trip to New York back in seventh grade-the one where you and Cam got Harris to drive me. The heat was busted and-" Massie began, making a face at Olivia's nickname.

"Harris blasted the Strokes the entire ride up and we had to listen to him and Cam sing!" Derrick added and the two burst out laughing at their inside joke.

Olivia turned red, deeply humilated at everyone watching this scene. She didn't appreciate Massie coming up and talking to Derrick about their memories. It just wasn't cool. And the only reason she was doing it was because she was seeing how much better off he was without her. How much happier he was. She wanted him now because it was too late. And she couldn't have him.

"Anyways, I best be going. Oh, _Liv, _if you ever need that permanent marker back, I'm done with it," She said cheerfully, winking at the blonde before turning right around and walking away, back towards her friends who burst into a round of hysterics upon their reunion. And it was all at Olivia's expense.

"What's that mean?" Derrick frowned in confusion, his eyes locked on Massie.

Yes, it was clear that Massie had won. She'd left a mark on Derrick's heart and it was in permanent marker. Olivia could try but she'd never be able to get rid of that. She thought she was something, to go and write all over his heart in permanent marker, printing her name there in her cute, bubbly font with a heart over the eye, as if she owned it. And Olivia was not going to rest until she'd managed to scrub Derrick's heart clean of her.


	33. Chapter 33:Only Prettier

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 33_**

_Well I've been saved by the grace of southern charm  
>I got a mouth like a sailor and yours is more like a Hallmark Card<br>If you wanna pick a fight, well, I'm gonna have to say goodnight  
><em>_I don't have to be hateful, I can just say "bless your heart"  
>And even though I don't belong with your high life friends<br>Doesn't mean we can't get together and try to make amends_

"Drama," Olivia sighed as she walked through the halls of BOCD with the only two friends she had-Allison Watson and Emily Washington. "They say they hate it," She said, speaking of the Pretty Committee. "Yet they're the ones who create it." She shrugged. She was the alpha of her own clique-the Barbies. Each girl was blonde, blue eyed, and perfectly proportioned. They lived in pastels, especially pink. Today, Olivia wore a pink denim mini skirt with a sequenced pink shrug and a silvery camisole under it with pink UGG boots. Her hair fell around her perfectly painted face.

"Um, Liv," Allison paused, her tight fitting skinny jeans hugged her perky butt perfectly and she wore it with an off the shoulder, 3/4 sleeve hot pink top with a sequence band at the very top. She wore pink ballet flats with the outfit and her her hair pulled back in a pink headband. "Massie's talking to Derrick," She gasped.

"Ew," Emily made a face, straightened her pink plaid skirt with the white button down and matching pink plaid tie with Mary Janes. Her hair was in a high ponytail with a little bow containing the mane. "Look at her outfit," She shook her head.

"Honestly? I'd rather now. I've had enough of her southern charm. Frankly, it's revolting to see that London turned her into that and then sent her back to New York." Olivia said. She'd literally turned into the Sharpay Evans of BOCD.

"I know, right?" Allison rolled her eyes as the girls continued to walk towards Massie who was wearing cuffed boyfriend fit, super distressed jeans with a black and white plaid button down, the sleeves rolled up to her elbow and a violet tank top underneath, the shut left open except for the button few buttons. She had on gorgeous purple cowboy boots as well and her hair was in a low side ponytail with a few strands meant to purpsosefully fall into her face. She was currently twirling the strands around her finger.

"What a bee-yotch," Olivia muttered as she approached _her _boyfriend. Olivia had a mouth like what she considered to be a true country girl-she was constantly swearing and didn't care that she sounded like a truck driver. Massie, on the other hand, was as sweet and polite as a birthday card. She didn't need to swear to maintain her queen bitch status. "Are you trying to pick a fight?" Olivia asked, forcing herself into Derrick's grasp. He shrugged as he carelessly wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Nah, I should be getting to class. Nice seeing you though," Massie said cheerfully, turning on her heal and walking away, joining the PC again.

"I don't want to be hateful," Olivia began, but Massie beat her to the punch line.

"Bless your sweet little heart, don't you look adorable today-by the way," She called over her shoulder, winking right at Derrick. Olivia hated that Derrick was actually enjoying Massie's show-she could feel how very much he wanted her. Olivia glared, hating that there wasn't a place for her among the popular girls. But, even if she may not belong within that clique, it didn't mean that they couldn't all just get together and...well, do something other than make amends, of course. Olivia had a few more tricks up her sleeve. Massie was not going to win and Olivia refused to go down without a fight.

* * *

><p><em>Everybody says you gotta know your enemies-even if they only weight a hundred pounds and stand 5 foot 3<br>__If you just smile and behave, you can always get your way-it's a universal plan that'll get you where you can in all societies  
>So let's shake hands and reach across those party lines<br>You got your friends just like I got mine  
>We might think a little differently, but we got a lot in common you will see<br>We're just like-only prettier_

Massie Block sat there in french class, knowing full well that Olivia was going to use this class, which was given to them as a free period to review for their oncoming test, to harass Massie. Massie sighed as she used her iPhone to go onto Facebook and semi-stalk Olivia's page. She needed to know her enemy. It didn't matter that olivia weight about twenty pounds less than Massie's own 120 or that she stood at 5 foot 3 compared to Massie's own five foot eight.

"You could always just smile and be good." Kristen spoke up. "It's the best way to get you way every time. It's like some sort of universal sign or something that all girls know. It gets you where you need to go in every society," She shrugged.

"Coming from the girl who verbally abused me in lunch in the beginning of the school year?" Dylan asked, raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows.

"True," Kristen giggled.

"Listen, I could play nice and reach out and shake her hand across those lines that separate classy from trashy, but that doesn't help us. You see, we think very differently. But we do have one thing in common," Massie said sweetly.

"Your love of Derrick?" Kristen frowned as she started to braid her hair.

"No," Massie snapped, turning her phone off and slamming it down on her desk.

"Uh-oh, something wicked this way comes," Dylan sighed, grabbing her compact mirror and beginning to touch up her make-up.

"Massie, we need to talk," Olivia declared, leaning onto Massie's desk, her little Barbie clones besides her.

"I don't understand this..."Massie said, a dull smile on her face. "If Barbie's so popular...why do I have to buy her friends?" She leaned in a little closer and smirked.

"I'm trying to be civil," Olivia snapped.

"More like _Sybill_," Kristen crackled. Olivia shot her a confused look.

"Listen, Derrick doesn't like you. He wants to be with me. He doesn't want last year's Marc Jacobs. He wants a newer model," Olivia smirked. Massie looked at her with disgust. How dare she be compared to her old favorite designer-and called last season?

"Ferme la bouche!" Massie snapped. "Fiche moi le paix!" She glared.

"Miss Block" Madame Cole snapped at her, hearing her perfect French-of such bitter words.

"Pardon, Madome," Massie smiled. She lowered her voice as the teacher went back to her laptop. "Vous avez le corps d'un chien et le QI d'une duree de cinq ans!" Massie hissed. "Mange de la merde et meurs, pute!" She narrowed her glare even more.

Olivia shook her head, completely confused. "I don't...what are you _saying?" _She asked, her eyebrows forming a confused V.

"She said to shut you mouth and to get away from her. With some other choice words, of course," Kristen spoke up. "Then she said that you have the body of a dog with the IQ of a five year old. She would like you to eat shit and die. Because you are a whore," Kristen smiled brightly.

"Va te faire mettre," Massie added brightly.

"Um, I can't repeat that," Kristen winced.

"Say it in american why don't ya?" Olivia asked, crossing her arms. Massie snickered out the last comment.

"Fous le camps et morte," She snapped.

"Massie, come here," Madame Cole called. Massie winced as she stood up and began her walk.

"Dylan, you wanna know the difference between me and Olivia? Well, my friends and I...we're just like her and her own friends," She said brightly. "Only prettier," She said, basking in the laughter from the rest of the class as she approached the teacher.


	34. Chapter 34:Rumor Has It

**What Doesn't Kill You  
><em>A Clique Fan<em>_ Fiction_**_  
><em>Chapter 34

_She, she ain't real-she ain't gon be able to love you like I will  
><em>_She is a stranger-you and I have history or don't you remember  
>Sure, she's got it all, but baby is that really what you want?<br>__Bless your soul you get got your head in the clouds  
>She made a fool out of you and boy she's bringing you down<br>She made your heart melt but you're cold to the core-now rumor has it she ain't got your love anymore_

Olivia Ryan couldn't believe what Massie had done to her today in french. And that she'd gotten away with it! How dare the teacher use her _perfect french _as an excuse for how she'd talked to Olivia Ryan. Simply because she was jealous of Olivia and her relationship with Derrick. Massie was a fake, that much was clear. She wasn't a normal, real person with feelings and a heart. She was just a stone cold bitch and she would never be able to properly love Derrick because of it. Olivia could though. She could love Derrick and ways that Massie wouldn't even be able to dream of. And Massie just couldn't do that. And it didn't help matters-for Massie-that she was pretty much a stranger who'd only been in his love for about a year. Olivia and Derrick had history. Olivia had been his first kiss at that Halloween party Massie had had back in the seventh grade. And even then, even though she'd give Derrick what Massie refused him, he'd picked the queen bee over the blonde.

Sure, Massie had it all-brains, looks, money, talent-but did that really make her better? Massie wasn't nice or caring-she wasn't sweet or loving. And Massie had enough in her life. She didn't need Derrick and his love. She didn't have a big secret to hide that meant she needed a guy in her life-or two-to make sure it was never revealed. Olivia needed Derrick. She'd liked him since seventh grade-that had to mean something, right? And anyways, Massie had it all. Derrick couldn't possibly want her. It wasn't fair and it was simply boring to be with somebody so perfect. Olivia had flaws and that made her human.

"Olivia," Olivia froze and turned around to face Derrick at the end of the day. He stayed silent as he approached her. "I need to talk to you about what happened with you and Massie," He whispered as he stood in front of her, staring down at her with a look of pure disapproval.

"So you heard all about what she did to me in french class?" Olivia pouted.

"That? Everyone heard about that. It was hilarious," He grinned slightly, as if proud of Massie's 'cleverness'. Olivia shook her head in disgust. Why did guys love and approve of Massie's every move? "I'm talking about what you did this morning. That was rude and uncalled for. Massie's trying to be friends with me after everything that happened and you're making that too hard. I miss her, you know that. And I'm with you-and you know I still care about her-but I'm trying to move on. Can't you give us a break and let things just work out?" He asked, frowning at her as if she were the one who was wrong.

Bless his soul...he wasn't just in love with the girl. He was head over heels for her. He'd do anything for her.

"You really love her, don't you?" Olivia whispered. Somehow, Massie had worked her way into his heart and pulled him way up into the clouds, and when she'd left him, she'd pulled him right back down. But he hadn't stopped falling with her. He'd kept going, plummeting to his death and breaking his heart. She'd melted his heart and now he was cold to the core, unable to love anybody else.

"I do," He whispered. "And...Olivia, I'm sorry-but I can't be with you. It isn't fair to you and it's too hard on me. And it's not helping matters with her," He whispered before turning around and walking away.

"But...rumor has it...she doesn't want your love anymore," Olivia whispered after him, knowing that he couldn't hear her-and hating that he didn't care anyways.

* * *

><p><em>She is half your age-but I'm guessing that's the reason that you've stayed<br>I heard you been missing me-you've been telling people things you shouldn't be  
>Like when we creep out and she ain't around-haven't you heard the rumors<br>Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds-you made a fool out of me, and boy you're bringing me down  
>You made my heart melt, yet I'm cold to the core<br>But rumor has it I'm the one you're leaving her for  
><em>

Massie Block hated that Derrick was with Olivia. She was nothing more than a little slut who only wanted him because Massie had had him. She wanted him for the sex. He didn't love her and she didn't care about him. Their entire relationship was based on sex. Then again...that was probably why he was in it. That was most likely the only reason the relationship existed at all. They got to bang one another without it meaning anything to the other.

But that didn't mean Derrick wasn't missing her. Massie had heard from countless people about the real reason Olivia hated her. She wasn't afraid Massie still wanted Derrick. She was afraid that Derrick would finally realize he had a chance to get Massie back and go for it. And Derrick had been spreading his fair share of rumors. He was telling people lies about the two of them. And even if they weren't lies, she would hate him anyways just for telling people about it. He was saying that they were sneaking around behind Olivia's back, having a secret little fling. If she heard one more rumor about their apparent relationship, she was going to scream-or kill him. She wasn't sure yet.

"Massie-we need to talk," Derrick panted, grabbing her arm as she attempted to leave school that day. "Please," He begged. She sighed as she turned to face him.

Bless his heart...he was just so darn cute sometimes, it was hard for Massie to hate him. "What?" She asked, leaning against the locket closest to her. If she wasn't leaning against something for support, she'd fall to her face because of that weak kneed feeling she got around him constantly.

"I still love you and I want to be with you. Not Olivia-you. Just you, all of you, all the time," He said, eyes locked on hers.

He was foolish to say that. Massie couldn't hurt him again and she wouldn't go back to him after their bitter end. But he seemed to have his head in the clouds, thinking that his sweet words would get her back. He'd made a fool out of her and she couldn't have that. Nobody was allowed to humilate her like that and then think they could get back into her life, scratch free. She'd given Derrick enough chances. He wasn't allowed to bring her down anymore. She was going to rise to the top on her own before she got into another relationship. That was her new motto-you needed to love yourself before you could love another.

It didn't matter that he'd melted her heart with his sweet words and their love experience. She was going to be an icy cold, heartless queen from now on. At the very core, she'd be loveless and unable to be loved by anybody. She refused to ever let another boy hurt her. That wasn't how she wanted to live her life anymore.

"No," Massie said. "Go away now," She said boldly, lowering her head and breaking the gaze Derrick had trapped her in. Derrick shook his head.

"I won't stop trying," He told her, turning on his heel and walking away, not bothering to look back.

"But...rumor has it? I'm the one you're leaving her for," She whispered. Those had been the words she'd wanted him to tell her. That would have settled it. She wanted to know he'd be willing to leave Olivia for her-risk himilation to be with Massie. But he couldn't do that, and she wouldn't settle for anything less.


	35. Chapter 35:James

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 35  
><strong>

_There's a strange sincerity that makes them girls go crazy  
>Maybe it don't make sense-you don't have to understand<br>James-doesn't try still attracts attracts the babes  
>All the guys say he's got no game-we can laugh, but in the end now<br>Everybody's on a date with my buddy James-and everybody knows his name  
>He's driving everybody insane-they wanna be like James<em>

Massie Block hated the fact that she'd fallen for James so easily. It just proved the point that she fell for guys much too hard and much too soon. It had taken less than a minute for Chris Abely to go from freaky, toothless, escaped convict to her next future boyfriend. She'd shared one dance with Cam Fisher and never even talked to him except to learn his name before she'd become obsessed with him. She'd fallen for Derrick Harrington because of a car ride and a game-besides knowing that he actually liked her back. Dempsey Solomon had gotten a make-over and she'd ignored all of his creepy little flaws. And Landon Crane had just been there when she was miserable. But, there was a strange attraction to James that made every single girl at KISS want him. He was sincere and funny-the type of guy you wanted to be best friends with, and then he became something more. He drove girls crazy with just his smile and when he talked to you, you felt like the only girl in the world.

It didn't really make sense, the attraction he held and the power he had over girls, but you really didn't have to understand it. It was just there. And now the infection was spreading to Westchester. She'd heard the rumors and it had killed her inside when she'd seen the Harry Potter look alike with the accent to match. Every girl was obsessing over him, hanging all over him and loving his every word. It killed Massie. He didn't even need to try and he still attracted all the most sought after girls at BOCD. It was tearing Massie apart-especially because a piece of her still loved him.

She'd heard how he was affecting the guys as well. Kemp-the player that he was-had said straight out that James had no game. And all of his friends had laughed-Plovert had a million other jokes about him to crack, and Cam, who knew what he'd done to Massie, had insulted him to no end. Josh had trashed all of his looks and his wardrobe. Even Derrick had found something to mock about this boy. But no matter how much they laughed, in the end, every girl at BOCD would have gone out on a date with James. A large majority of them will have dated him. And everybody will have been heartbroken because of him.

Everybody at the school had learned his name within his first five minutes there. He was driving them all insane. The girls were about ready to start a flash-stripper-dance-mob in the cafetaria. Massie could cut the sexual tension with a knife. The boys were all glaring at James, blaming him for his looks, his charisma, his charm. They hated that their girlfriends and their crushes and their ex-girlfriends were all obsessing over James. The fact was, Massie had dated him and that made him even more appealing. All the girls wanted James and all of the guys wanted to be him. And about 90% of the reason behind that was because he'd dated Massie Block.

"How on _Earth _did you let him go?" Dylan asked, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail and then thinking better of it as James walked past, winking towards the PC. Massie could hear all the other girls take their group sigh and rolled her eyes.

"Um, he cheated on her," Alicia said, making a face. They couldn't blame Dylan for her stupid question-she hadn't been their friend when this conversation had taken place and they hadn't repeated it since she'd joined them. "Actually, he cheated with her so-called best friend," Alicia added.

"Gross," Dylan made a face. "I'm so over him-should I tell him we're breaking up?" She tilted her head to the side with an adorably stupid grin on her face.

"Since you guys weren't actually dating, I'm gonna go with _no,"_ Kristen giggled, shoving her playfully.

"Which is good because I don't think Plovert would like to hear about some relationship you have with James. Even if it was for about ten seconds," Alicia giggled.

"I'm glad you guys are enjoying him transferring here. He's going to make my life a living-"

"Massie? Massie Block?" James smiled as he approached the table, leaning against it and facing Massie. "Long time no see," He said brightly.

"How's Haven?" Massie asked sweetly.

"Wouldn't know, would I?" He asked, his accent even more obvious than Massie's. "I broke up with her before I moved to the States," He said brightly. "And I really am sorry about that, dear," He said, flashing that irristable smile at her. "She came onto me, you know?" He asked. Massie rolled her eyes. "But, I figured, it's been long enough and we go to school together again. What do you say we give it another go?" He smiled.

In Massie's mind, she had a long list of reasons to date a British boy-and most of them were because of his accent. But she had an even longer list on reasons why not to date James.

"Sorry," Massie said brightly. "But I've got a boyfriend," She said cheerfully, flashing her friends a warning smile.

"Oh? Who?" James challenged.

"Derrick Harrington," Massie lied smoothly. "Actually-there he is now. I really must go talk to him," She said, hopping to her feet and practically skipping over to him.

"Mass? What's up?" Derrick asked as Massie stopped in front of him.

"My lying, cheating, British ex-boyfriend is here and he's trying to get me back. And even if I just said no, he'd make me miserable by flaunting all the girls he can get besides me in front of me. So, I told him you were my boyfriend. Cover for me?" Massie asked sweetly, flashing that grin she knew Derrick couldn't resist.

"James is _your _ex James?" Derrick asked, fists clenching.

"Duh," Massie shrugged.

"I'll lie for you," He said after a moment's thought. He slid his arm around her, a secret smile on his face. After all-who's to say he couldn't use this to his advantage?


	36. Chapter 36:Don't Cha

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 36  
><em>AN: If you would like to request a song to be the theme for a chapter, please do-especially if it would help with a plot line for another character because since Massington is my favorite, I tend to focus on them a lot more than the others._ **

_I know you like me. I know you do.  
>That's why whenever I come around she's all over you.<br>I know you want it. It's easy to see.  
>And in the back of your mind I know you should be with me<br>Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?  
><em>_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?_

__Massie Block smirked as Olivia Ryan-it seemed she always went for Massie's exes-walked by on the arm of James. As soon as she spotted Massie, she clung to him even tighter, whispering in his ear, a sneaky grin on her face. Massie rolled her eyes as she closed her locker and started walking towards Derrick. Olivia was an even bigger idiot than Massie had realized. It was quite clear to everything that James liked Massie-he actually did, and he actually wanted her back. Olivia knew that too though, clearly. That was the only reason that explained how her sluttiness went up about ten scale degrees on the SLUT scale whenever Massie walked by. She was all over James whenever Massie passed and it honestly sickened the clean cut, lady-like Massie Block. It wasn't that she was a prude-she just wasn't as...provacative as Olivia tended to be.

"Hey Mass," James smiled, calling over his shoulder as he passed by her. Massie shrugged as she crossed the hallway and slid her hands over Derrick's eye, trying to shake off the newfound knowledge of how much James really wanted her. It wasn't like it was hard to see...but it was _hard._ She'd seen Olivia's glare at it's appearance as soon as Massie was within eyesight. She knew it was for her, but it killed her to know that. She didn't want there.

"Guess who?" She whispered in, standing on tiptoes to reach his ear.

"Can I have a hint?" Derrick asked playfully.

"She's cute...trendy...smart...funny...and _you _happen to find her completely and totally sexy," Massie lowered her voice even more. "Oh, and she's going to be really mad if you get this wrong," She giggled.

"Well, it couldn't be Massie Block, could it?" He asked, spinning around and grabbing her hands in his left hand and using his right hand to hold her face as he kissed her. She smiled as she kissed him back, freeing her hands from his and wrapping them around his neck. It was the first Friday after James had moved here and Massie was a little upset to know that her and Derrick's fake relationship would be over until the weekend.

"I think James is wishing his girlfriend was as hot as you," Derrick whispered in her ear as he wrapped an arm around her and started to walk from the school.

"Do you wish I was as big of a freak as Olivia? In bed, I mean," Massie asked softly.

"Well, since I don't have you there anymore..."Derrick teased. Massie slapped his arm playfully. "I'm kidding!" He protested. "You were better than her anyways," He promised.

"You slept with her?" Massie froze. "I don't know why that surprises me, though," Massie sighed as they started walking again.

"Hey," Derrick stopped her, turning her to face him. "It didn't mean anything and she initiated it. I'm a guy, I can't just stop it-especially when she's technically my girlfriend at the time and people know I've had sex with Dylan multiple times and that I had it with you," He said softly. "But _you _are the girl I love and _you _are the only one that it would mean _anything _with. Understand?" He said, his brown eyes locking on her amber ones.

"I love you," She whispered, reaching towards him and kissing him. And, oh, how she wished this wasn't all just pretend.

* * *

><p><em>Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me<br>Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
>Fight the feeling-leave it alone<br>Cause if it ain't love, it just ain't enough to leave my happy home  
>Let's keep it friendly-you have to place fair<br>See I don't care, but I know she ain't gonna wanna share_

__

By the time Derrick had finally stopped kissing Massie and reached his car, Olivia was sitting in the cab, wearing his football sweatshirt that he'd left there. Actually, that was all she was wearing.

"Come on, Derrick...you wish that Massie was as sexy as I was...sure, she's hot and all...but she's so prissy. _I'm _not like that. _I'd _give you whatever you wanted," She smiled at him as he stood there stupidly outside of his truck.

"Get dressed, Olivia," He said, crossing his arms.

"Not many boys tell me to get dressed...do you like to be the one to undress me?" She giggled. He rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Olivia, you're a beautiful girl and you've got so much to offer. Why do you have to sell yourself out like a slut?" He asked her.

"Because that's what guys want," She grinned, her voice low as she leaned in closer to him.

"When guys want that, they don't want a relationship. They want sex. And then they keep coming back for more of just that," Derrick shook his head.

"It makes me so much more fun. Is Massie fun like me?" Olivia teased, crawling towards him and sliding her hands pup his shirt, wrapping them around his neck and pulling him into the cab. Derrick shook his head as he pushed her off of him and sat up straight, handing her her jeans and her shirt.

"Get dressed, okay?" He said, not looking at her. "Whatever this feeling you have for me is...just leave it alone, okay? Because I don't love you and I do love Massie. And I'm not going to let something as silly as lust keep me from being with her. That's not going to break us up again. We're together and I've finally got her back. I won't lose her again," Derrick said.

"You wanna keep this friendly? Fine with me," Olivia glared, grabbing her jeans and pulling them on. "But, everybody knows you two are just pretending so Massie can bug James. The only person who doesn't know it's all just make believe is James," Olivia said as she pulled her tee shirt on over her head. "See, I just don't care," Olivia said. "If you wanna be with her-I'll give you what she won't," She offered as she opened the door and started to slowly slid out.

"But Massie doesn't share. And I honestly don't want to be shared when it comes to her. She gets all my attention. And all my love." Derrick said and shook his head, slightly amused as Olivia slid from the car and slammed his door.

"What did she want?" Massie asked, sliding into his truck.

"What?" Derrick turned towards her. "What are you doing? What about your car?"

"Kristen and Alicia are going crazy as they fight over who's going to get to drive it. I wanted to be with you. To talk about us. Now what did she want?" Massie smiled cheerfully.

"To offer to give me what you won't," He said.

"So you gonna go it?" Massie asked him playfully.

"You know what? I was thinking about it," He teased her.

"Well, say no. Because I don't want to be pretend anymore. We're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, okay?" Massie said, turning his radio on and putting on Big Frog, his favorite country station.

"One condition," He grinned as the Luke Bryan song came on.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"When we get to my house today...I want you to dance to this for me," He smiled as Country Girls played.

"Perv," She giggled, shoving him playfully as he started his drive.

"Only for you," He kissed her on the cheek as he pulled out of the parking lot.


	37. Chapter 37:Dance 10 Looks 3

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 37**

_But after awhile, I caught on. I mean, I saw what they were hiring.  
>I also swiped my dance card once, after an audition.<br>And on a scale of one to ten? They gave me, for dance? Ten! For looks? Three! Why?  
><em>_Dance-ten;Looks-three-and I'm still on unemployment  
>Dancing for my own enjoyment...<br>That ain't it kid-that ain't it kid _

Dylan Marvil was cuddled up in Chris Plovert's arms, loving his one month break between football season and basketball season. It was perfect, because for once, there weren't any practices or games to interfere with their time together. And there wasn't a single cheerleader stalking Chris in her short little skirt with her skinny body spread over him as if she were his jersey. Dylan hated those cheerleaders. In fact, she hated all those girls who could snag a guy like it wasn't a problem. She hated it. After all, they were the reason for her constant dieting. After awhile, she caught on and saw what was grabbing the guys' attention. She saw what was getting dates and what was causing her to sit at home watching LMN and stuffing her face with Ben&Jerry's-the only boys in her life for the longest time. And she'd heard Kemp Hurley talking about her. Claiming that her personality was a total ten...but that her looks were barely a three. Why? Sure, she knew the reason. She wasn't his type-that was Kristen, the sporty, all muscle types. The blonde, all-American type girls. Not a fiery red-head with lots of curves. Not a burpy little tom-boy who didn't know when to cross her legs and shut her mouth and act like a proper lady.

Even her so-called best friends had told her she was a shrek...a monster-a freak. Alicia herself had said it. She'd told her the reason boys didn't like her. Sure, she was funny, but her looks? How she behaved? She acted like a boy and not like a girl. She was a friend, not a girl friend. There was a thick line between Dylan and girls like Alicia. And nobody was willing to cross it.

"Dylan? Did you really change because of what Kemp and I were talking about that day?" Plovert asked her softly. He was the only person who knew her reasoning for everything. She'd never told anybody else, and she'd practically cried when telling him. She was so afraid he'd remember everything he'd once disliked about her and leave her. But, instead, he'd held her close and just kept repeating a sad apology. He'd been the one to cry, hating that he'd done that to the girl he loved.

"Yeah," Dylan whispered. She'd hated that being the reason she was stuck by herself on Friday nights. She hated knowing that other girls were being chased after by multiple boys. She couldn't be alone and she wouldn't be left to amuse herself or be stuck with some loser. So, during the summer between her eighth grade year and her freshman year, she'd changed and gotten a brand new wardrobe. She'd reinvented herself and she hadn't looked back once.

"Dylan, beauty may grab the attention, but it's personality that gets the heart," Plovert said. "If there was only one type of beauty out there, we'd all be fighting over Massie and Alicia right now and we'd all die single and the population would just stop. But, every guy thinks of beauty in a different way. Derrick thinks Massie's his own personal goddess. Josh would punch anybody who said Alicia wasn't the hottest girl out there. Kemp thinks Kristen's the shit. Even Cam thinks Claire's the most beautiful girl in the entire world. And to me? You're the definition of true beauty. That's how you know it's love. You look for the boy who makes you feel beautiful. Do I do that, Dyl?" Plovert whispered, his old small, shy grin in place. The one that was so honest and true. The smile that Dylan had fallen in love with.

"You do," She whispered, reaching forward to kiss him.

* * *

><p><em>Dance-ten...looks-three; is like to die<br>Left the theater and called the doctor  
>For my appointment to buy-tits and ass<br>Bought myself a fancy pair, tightened up the derrier  
>Did the nose with it<br>All that goes with it  
><em>

Olivia Ryan had been perfectly happy with who she was until freshman year. A month into being the third prettiest girl out of her friends had left her feeling bitter and gross. She'd always been a perfect ten in her looks and another ten for her little talents. She couldn't settle for being a 13, with looks that barely counted for anything and some special _talents _she possessed. She could attract guys in a heart beat back in middle school. In high school, with a swarm of older, more mature girls and a more confident Dylan, she was nothing other than an ordinary girl. She felt like she was dead. So, after a month of being rejected by every single guy in the school, she'd taken a week off and called her doctor and made herself an appointment. She bought herself a perkier, tighter butt and a nice pair of boobs to match it. And, for the first time, she got a nose job for her own vanity. Back in middle school, the PC had mocked her for her constant nose jobs. Nobody realized that it was because of her terrible asthma that she'd needed to constantly change her nose to one that was easier to breath with. But, when she'd gotten her surgery, she'd gotten the works-everything that went with her new appearance had been neatly charged to her daddy's plastic card.

And then Massie had returned to Westchester and taken Olivia's spot as the most sought after girl at school. And the main reason was that Massie was real. Massie's beauty was just a natural blessing that she'd gotten. And Massie didn't have to willingly make out with buys during a game of spin the bottle or have sex on a first date to make guys want to be with her. She just needed to smile and wave at them. She'd gotten Derrick hooked within an hour of being back at BOCD and it had killed Olivia.

Mainly because Olivia needed the guys attention. She needed the cover for her dirty little secret. She knew that in Westchester, you couldn't give a rumor any reason to be started. People would never forget and it would spread faster than wild fire. So, the safest way to keep a secret was to never tell anybody. But Olivia had slipped one night, when she'd gotten too drunk, and Claire had found out. All Olivia could hope was that sweet Claire wouldn't let the secret slip. But, even if it did, Claire might just look like she had some crazy left in her after returning from rehab. Her drunkness and her drug addictions may have caused her to think this and start the rumor from a simple illusion or a drunken exagerration. So, Olivia assumed her secret was safe.

Little did she know, Claire had already leaked the secret to somebody else. And she was so wrong about it being safe.


	38. Chapter 38:I Kissed a Girl

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 38**

_This was never the way I planned-not my intention  
>I got so brave, drink in hand...lost my discretion<br>It's not what I'm used to-just wanna try you on  
>I'm curious for you-caught my attention<br>I kissed a girl and I liked it-the taste of her cherry chapstick  
>I kissed a girl just to try it-I hope my boyfriend don't mind it<em>

"That bitch tried to get with Derrick again," Massie vented, pacing her room at her Friday night sleepover later that night. The other three members of the Pretty Committee were settled on their sleeping bags, already in pajamas. "We need to do something about this," Massie knew it was going back to her old ways, but she was not going to lose Derrick. Especially not to somebody like Olivia.

"Olivia's a lesbian," Dylan blurted. Kristen and Alicia turned to her, wide eyed.

"You can't just start that rumor, Dyl. That's horrible to say!" Kristen gasped.

"It's true," Dylan swore, crossing her heart as she spoke.

"Details," Massie commanded, dropping onto her bed and focusing on Dylan.

"According to Claire...Olivia kissed her and then admitted it." Dylan whispered. "It wasn't the way Olivia planned on telling people. Actually, her intentions were to never tell anybody. But I guess she'd had a crush on Claire for awhile and she got a little brave one night at a party-she was drunk and confused...she'd lost all discretion and it just happened. And according to Claire, she'd kissed Olivia back. She wasn't into it or anything-we know she's totally into Cam...but she just wanted to try it out," Dylan went on.

"Olivia once told me she was curious about that...she said that was why we were such good friends. Because I caught her attention at Massie's part," Alicia said slowly. "I just assumed she was kissing though," She whispered.

"She kissed Claire? And liked it? God, I'd hate it. All Claire ever wears is cherry chapstick! That's a disgusting taste. Believe me, when I was poor, that's what I had to wear for a while and I hated it," Kristen made a face.

"Is that why you had chapped lips?" Massie teased.

"Shut up!" Kristen giggled.

"But...Claire kissed Olivia back just to try it? God, I hope Josh didn't mind it," Alicia snickered.

"Believe me-he's a dude. He probably wanted to join them," Dylan rolled her eyes and the girls broke into hysterics.

"I don't know," Massie said slowly, once the laughter had stopped. "Outing her doesn't seem...it doesn't seem nice," She said softly. "I can't do that. But I can talk to her about it," Massie declared, standing up and pulling a jacket on over her short, Victoria's Secret night gown. It fell to the middle of her thigh and had long, baggy short sleeves. It was one of their baseball night gowns and read MEET ME IN THE DUG OUTS on it. Massie slid on UGGs and began to walk off, but was stopped by Dylan's teasing tone.

"Do you want to tell her off or turn her on?"

"I hate you," Massie giggled, crawling back onto her bed and taking off the jacket and the boots. Telling Olivia off could wait.

* * *

><p><em>It felt so wrong, it felt so right<br>Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
>I kissed a girl and I liked it-I liked it<br>Us girls we are so magical, soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
>Hard to resist, so touchable-too good to deny it<br>It ain't no big deal-it's innocent_

Olivia was a lesbian. That wasn't the first time she'd ever admitted it to herself. But this was the first time she'd ever admitted to being in anything deeper than a girl crush. She'd had one of those on Claire. But what she had on Massie was much more. Claire had been Olivia's first drabble in this world and it had felt so wrong to her. She knew she wasn't supposed to do things like that. But at the same time, it had felt so right. The night she'd told Claire had been the first night she'd ever admitted it aloud or to herself. But one silly little kiss didn't mean she was in love. Tonight though? She was. She'd kissed Claire and she'd liked it. She'd admit it. She enjoyed to kiss girls. She was attracted to them.

Girls had such soft skin...they were magical and wonderful with their red lips that just begged you to kiss them. It was hard to resist the call their had. They were so touchable-so perfect. It seemed natural for Olivia to be attracted to the same sex as her. It was forced whenever she acted like she wanted somebody of the opposite sex. Girls were much too good to deny the feelings of lust.

But her kiss was Claire hadn't been a big deal. It was purely innocent. But, what she felt for Massie was not. She only wished Massie felt the same way. That was why she didn't want Massie to be with Derrick. While she wanted Massie to be happy-she didn't want her to be happy with anybody else.


	39. Chapter 39:Beautiful

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 39**

_Now and then, I get insecure  
>From all the pain, feel so ashamed<br>I am beautiful no matter what they say  
>Words can't bring me down<br>I am beautiful in every single way  
>Yes, words can't bring me down<em>

Massie Block wasn't the one hundred percent confident girl that she allowed the entire world to see. Well, she hadn't always been that way, of course. Actually even now she sometimes got insecure. She felt embarrassment and wondered if her friends would still like her the next day. She'd worry about her outfit and her hair on occasion and she even sometimes put on a little extra make-up to make herself feel beautiful and wonderful. And that made her feel even worse. She felt ashamed of herself and that brought her pain. But, most of the time, she felt one hundred percent confident and she accepted herself as beautiful in her own way. She refused to let words bring her down. People could say whatever they wanted to about her, but she didn't let it get to her. She understood that she was beautiful on the outside, and that was awesome, but the best part was that she was beautiful on the inside as well. She was beautiful in every way that was physically possible. And she wasn't planning on letting others get to her.

She doubted any doubts she had about her looks or herself in general and that cleared any negative energy from her. But she had confidence in her confidence as well. That helped her out. And she realized that there was nothing more attractive than confidence in yourself, because once you see your own beauty, the rest of the world will to. That was why Massie didn't get jealousy easily. True confidence left absolutely no room for jealousy. When a person knew they were great, they didn't need to hate anybody or anything.

"How do you do it?" Dylan sighed the next day, right before lunch, as the girls stood in the bathroom with the best lighting in the school. Dylan was leaning as close to the mirror as possible as she tried to apply her mascara to make sure her eyelashes were still long and thick with none of their natural strawberry blonde color showing.

"Do what?" Massie asked her, frowning slightly as she fixed her hair.

"Act so confidence...and not wear make-up," Dylan threw her mascara wand down onto the sink and turned to face Massie.

"Beauty is just self confidence that you apply directly to your face. Make-up is just a mask," Massie shrugged. "It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not. You're beautiful and you need to-"Massie cut herself off mid rant and frowned. Maybe that was the problem with Olivia...maybe she just thought she was something she wasn't because she wasn't having any luck with what was right for her. Or maybe she was hiding the truth because she was afraid she'd have no luck with girls?

"What's wrong?" Dylan asked.

"Sometimes you have to forget what you want in order to remember what you want and deserve. I need to go talk to Olivia...I'll catch up with you later, okay?" Massie said, turning on her shoulder and talking away. She needed to find Olivia and all she had to go on was that she was officially eating lunch in the library after she'd lost her friends and her followers and dumped James.

* * *

><p><em>Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?<br>Cause you are beautiful, no matter what they say  
>Words can't bring you down<br>You are beautiful in every single way  
>Yes, words can't bring you down<br>So don't you bring me down today_

"We need to talk," Massie declared, slipping into the chair across from her at the table. "I know about what happened between you and Claire," She whispered, leaning closer to her. "And I know the truth," She shook her head.

"You...do?" Olivia whispered.

"Listen, I don't care. What I want to know...are you sure it's true?" Massie asked softly. "Because if it is, then you need to come out about it. It will make you feel _so _much better," Massie replied. "And if not, well, then we need to figure out why you want to delude yourself into thinking that," Massie went on. She wasn't going to leave anything to be empty for the puzzle. No missing pieces here. That wasn't the way it was supposed to me.

"I'm not beautiful, Massie...not like you," Olivia whispered softly. "I mean, sure, I'm gorgeous on the outside, but look at me on the inside? I'm a stone cold bitch. And adding the fact that I'm gay?" Olivia let off a bitter laugh. "No, just no," She said.

"Every girl is beautiful," Massie declared. "No matter what you want to say-no matter what anybody else says...you are beautiful, Olivia-in every single way," Massie promised. "Believe in yourself. That's all you need to change the world," Massie nodded.

"Then why does everybody have to try and bring me down?" Olivia whispered.

"People do that to me too," Massie shrugged. "It just means people realize that you're already above them. And listen, Liv, if you aren't sure yet, that's cool. You may be far from what you once were, but you're not what you're going to be yet," She promised.

"I'm sure Massie...I'm just...I'm too afraid to come out," Olivia whispered.

"Why? You're still going to be Olivia Ryans," Massie frowned, her eyebrows forming a V.

"I'm going to a lesbian," Olivia whispered harshly.

"Gay...Straight...Lesbian...Retarded...why do people have to put freaking labels on everything?" Massie burst out. She shook her head. She was officially done. She had one more thing to try and that was her last trick.

"Be confident," Massie shrugged. When Olivia went to inturrupt, she went on. "It's simple, really, I promise. It's only 10% hard work. The other 90% is delusion!" Massie giggled. "And finding love is easier. Just find somebody you can act dumb around. That's what I love about Derrick." Massie replied. "Now, I want you to be a part of the PC." Massie said, pushing her chair back to stand up. "And there's only one thing I want from you. I want you to come out of the closet. You'll have the guys protection and our own." Massie smiled, standing up and turning to walk away. "Just...keep your heels, your head, and you standards _high,"_ Massie winked over her shoulder as she walked away.


	40. Chapter 40:Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 40**

_I come home in the morning light  
>My mother says when you gonna live your life right<br>Oh mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones  
>And girls they want to have fun-oh girls, just want to have fun<br>The phone rungs in the middle of the night  
>My father yells what you gonna do with your life<em>

Olivia Ryan sat on the couch in her living room with Massie by her side. In the past few weeks, the girls had become close friends. Now, they were spending their first day of Christmas break, about to tell Olivia's parents that she was, in deed, a lesbian. Massie had convinced Olivia that the best bet was the begin by telling her family. After all, there were worst things she could do, in her families eyes. There was nothing wrong with being gay-it wasn't a decision, it was something you were born with. And it wasn't like Olivia had a bad attitude when talking to her parents. She didn't come home when the sun came up and she didn't accept phone calls after ten o'clock at night. She just liked girls...and she enjoyed having a little bit of fun every now and then. So it made sense to start by telling Olivia's parents. Massie had promised Olivia she wouldn't be alone though, and Massie intended on keeping that promise.

"Mom," Olivia sighed, not looking up at her mother. This was the first time her parents had been in the same room since the divorce-besides during court, of course. "Dad," She whispered. "_Bethany,"_ She said through clenched teeth at her father's newest girlfriend. Bethany was a little bit older than the last one-Cynthia had been a nineteen year old intern at her father's business. Bethany was 26 and her father's new assistant. But, like all his girlfriends, her nose, boobs, and ass were completely plastic and her skin was a bright orange you could only get from overly spray tanning. Her hair was bleached blonde and her face overly made-up. She had those same wide, bright blue eyes that all his girls seemed to have and it disgusted Olivia to know that, if she weren't flesh and blood, she'd probably be her own father's newest pick. "I'm gay," She blurted.

Massie sighed, shaking her head. They'd practiced how this conversation would go millions of times, but Olivia had thrown away the careful discussions. She'd forgotten about laying it on them easy. Instead, she'd settled for just blurting out the truth.

"Oh, Olivia," Her mother-her gorgeous, tall, mother with her long, luscious black hair and round, doe-like brown eyes-sighed. "No, you're not," She shook her head.

"Yes, I really am," Olivia said, slightly shocked that the woman she'd once been so close with was so oblivious to her. "I mean, I've known for awhile now, but I figured I should wait until I was sure to tell you...and I'm positive," Olivia cocked her head to the side and frowned.

"Olivia Marie Ryan-when are you going to start living your life right? First that stupid surfer boy and then the African obsessed one...not to mention all the drugs and alchohol...the crime and the failing grades. Olivia, what has gotten into you?" Her mother crossed her arms.

"Mom! This isn't a decision! I was born like this and I can't help it...will you just accept that? Accept me?" Olivia whispered, tears flooding her eyes. Massie shook her head and wrapped a supportive arm around Olivia.

"Olivia...what are you going to do with your life? What are you doing...you don't just say you're gay. That can ruin your future," Her father's eyes were full of enough scorn for her to know that she should just say she was lying. But no...she wasn't going to.

She glared at her parents, about to jump up and defend herself, when Bethany spoke up for her.

"It's not a life decision. It's something that a person is born with and can't help. And there is nothing wrong with it," She said softly. "And honestly? It just shows how much stronger Olivia is than everybody else out there. She's going to have to deal with people who just want to bring her down...but she can over come it. She's making the decision to be open about it-that's the only part of this that is in her choice. And she's picking the hard way of doing this-but it's the right way," She said boldly. And then she smiled at Olivia. And that proud smile Bethany gave her, gave Olivia the strength she needed.

"If you guys won't support me," Olivia said to her parents. "I'll move out. Massie offered to let me stay with her until I'm settled and able to live on my own." Olivia said boldly.

"Is Massie your...girlfriend?" Her father choked on the final word.

"God no," Massie blurted. "Sorry, Liv," She flashed a quick smile at Olivia. "No, I'm straight...I have a boyfriend. But I'm trying to be a good friend to Olivia and support her," Massie said boldly. "Which she obviously needs with parents like you," She glared. SHe'd had enough of god awful parents.

"I want you out," Her father said darkly, turned around with his back to Olivia. He was facing Bethany. "Both of you," He glanced over his shoulder at his daughter. "By tonight," He added and walked away. Olivia's mother, with tears in her eyes, just left the house, just as she had the day of the divorce.

"I'll help you pack," Massie whispered after a few moments, standing up and pulling Olivia to her feet. But, Olivia wasn't crying. She wasn't angry. She actually felt..._relieved._

* * *

><p><em>Some boys take a beautiful girl<br>And hide her away from the rest of the world  
>I want to be the one to walk in the sun<br>Oh girls-they want to have fun...oh girls just want to have fun  
>That's all they really want-some fun<br>When the working day is done...girls-they want to have fun_

"I want to come out at school. Right after break," Olivia said decidedly, on December 26th. Massie and Olivia sat in Massie's bedroom, doing their nails with avocado face masks on and their hair up in sloppy buns. They were having their own impromto spa day, and they couldn't be happier.

"Really?" Massie frowned. She'd actually been expecting Olivia to want to surrender trying to tell people after the incident with her parents. Not to say she wasn't proud that her new best friend was ready to face the most judgmental people on the planet.

"Why shouldn't I brag about that fact that I don't want to be with a guy? Guys live to take a gorgeous girl and make sure everybody knows she's _his. _Guys treat girls like property and try and take away their life just because they're their boyfriend. That's not cool and it's not what I want. Why should I hide it? I get to walk around proudly everyday and be who I want. Nobody is going to stop me from that. And I need to tell everyone that I'm gay if I'm going to do that 100%." Olivia said.

"I'm proud of you," Massie said honestly.

"Just...one question?" Olivia whispered.

"Yeah?"

"How'd you find out? Did Claire tell you?"

"No...Dylan did,"

"You know...I sort of had a crush on you,"

"You better be over it," Massie fake glared at her, crossing her arms over her black camisole and pulling a blanket over her purple short shorts. She shook her head and uncrossed her arms, tossing the blanket aside. She flashed Olivia a 'just-kidding' smile and a reassuring thumbs up.

"I am-don't worry," Olivia giggled at Massie's dramatics.

"Oh? So I'm not attractive enough for you anymore?"

"Nope,"

And with that, the girls burst into a round of hysterics.


	41. Chapter 41:I'll Stand By You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 41_  
><strong>

_When the night falls on you  
>You don't know what to do<br>Nothing you confess  
>Could make me love you less<br>I'll stand by you-I'll stand by you  
>Won't let nobody hurt you<em>

"Massie," Alicia Rivera smiled as she stood in the doorway of her best friend's home on New Year's Day. "I want to talk to Olivia," She whispered. "Things ended very badly between us, and I don't want that tension between us now. I want to apologize-and maybe even be _real _friends again," Alicia said, her courage growing once again with each word. She had every right to talk to Olivia, after all. And she was sure that sweet, timid little Olivia didn't know what to do every time things got just a little too hard for her to handle. She knew for a fact that Olivia was too nice to stand up for herself-and much too stupid to know that she was being bullied...laughed at. But, she would be there for Olivia. She shouldn't have let the fact that Olivia hurt Claire interfere with her friendship. She shouldn't have allowed her friends' anger at the Briarwood Boys-and her own anger, as well-to make her hate Olivia for being Cam's newest pick. After all, she'd been a victim of their cruel embarassment just as much as they'd all been. And Alicia had left Olivia on her own with the untruest of all friends-Kori and Strawberry. And she was going to be at Olivia's side when she came out at school next Monday. Nothing Olivia ever confessed would ever make Alicia want to throw away her friendship with her. They were true friends-Alicia would do it right this time. She would never stop loving Olivia the same way she loved her other friends-like the sisters she never had. She refused to let anybody hurt Olivia either. When Olivia came out, she was not going to be treated any differently than she'd been before. With Alicia Rivera and Massie Block on her side, it was a sure fact.

"She's trying to go with her whole...coming out plan," Massie said slowly. "And I really don't think she needs to be disturbed," Massie smiled a small smile. "But, come on in and we can wait for her. We were going to have smoothies and go to the inside pool for a little while," She explained. "She should be down in, like, five minutes, okay?" She smiled, stepping back and opening the door a little wider.

"Why are you protecting her so much? You guys were never friends before," Alicia frowned.

"Because people were always mean to her and I was the worst of them all," Massie said as Alicia walked in. "And people are just going to get worse now. But I'm not going to let them," Massie said confidently, closing the door.

"What happened to you in London?" Alicia blurted. She'd been wondering this since Massie had returned. She'd been forgiving...she'd been sweet. She'd been kind and loyal and nice. She'd pretty much been the perfect friend and Alicia had to wonder why. Something must have happened to her in London to realize what it took to be a true friend. And Alicia wanted to know what it was.

"My so-called best friend stole my boyfriend. My other "best friend"," She put air quotes around this term, "Told the entire school a huge secret of mine. The rest of my supposed friends left me on my own. I learned what it's like to lose friends and be on your own. I realized that that's how I made you guys all feel every time I kicked you out of the PC. And I hated myself for it. So I swore I was going to change when I came back to Westchester and be the kind of friend I wanted to have," Massie said softly. "And a part of me wanted to start fresh, without you or Kristen, because nobody had even bothered to keep in touch with me. I wanted to hate Claire and Dylan...but I couldn't because I thought that I deserved it, because I'd been so mean to you guys in the past," Massie knew she was tearing up. It killed Alicia to see her friend about to cry. Massie didn't cry in front of people. Everybody knew that.

"Mass," Alicia said, reaching out and hugging Massie. "You will always be my best friend. I didn't contact you, because I missed you too much," She whispered. "But, even when we fight-you _are _my best friend," She promised.

* * *

><p><em>Oh, why you look so sad?<br>Tears are in your eyes  
>Come on and come to me now<br>Don't be ashamed to cry  
>Let me see you through<br>Cause I've seen the dark side too_

__"Olivia?" Alicia whispered as she entered the guest bedroom of Massie's new house. She'd been there for half an hour and they'd yet to see Olivia. Massie had sent Alicia up to make sure she was okay, figuring she'd allow them to get their private talk in now. "Liv?" She called, spotting the small ball huddled on the ground, shoulders shaking as the girl wept. Alicia had never seen Olivia look so sad before. She'd never even see her about to cry. Olivia had always seemed weak and innocent-but she'd always had that kind of will power that didn't allow her to cry. She was like Massie that way-she just didn't let people see her cry. And now, Olivia was completely bawling right there on the floor. And she didn't even seem to notice that Alicia had entered the room and caught her secretive thoughts. Alicia sighed as she walked towards her, squatting down besides her and wrapping an arm around her. It was actually sort of nice to know that Olivia was no longer afraid of crying in front of people. Nobody should have to be ashamed to cry. It just made everything harder. "Let me help you," Alicia whispered. "I've...I've been through some rough patches too, and I'm going to help you," She promised.

"Leesh?" Olivia looked up at her. Her cheeks were stained with long black steaks of mascara and her eyes were puffed up and red. She looked terrible, but to Alicia, she looked beautiful like always. Alicia had always been able to see the beauty in everybody. She had perfect vision when it came to inside beauty.

"Yeah?" Alicia whispered.

"I've missed you,"

"I've missed you, too," She smiled. "But I'm back now and we're best friends again, okay?" Alicia smiled.

"Good, 'cause I really need a make-over right now, and personally? Massie's beautification won't work on me right now," Olivia giggled.

"You're beautiful, Liv-you always are. And now? We're going to find you a girl that thinks that and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her," Alicia smiled, even though the words seemed awkward and hard to say. They sounded weird leaving her mouth, but it was all okay.


	42. Chapter 42:Drive By

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 42**

_On the other side of a street I knew  
>Stood a girl that looked like you<br>I guess that's deja vu  
>But I thought this can't be true<br>Cause you moved to west L.A-or New York..or Santa Fe  
>Or wherever to get away fro me<em>

Cam Fisher was driving down the street, stopped at a red light-the only red light in all of Westchester that seemed to stay red for an eternity-when he saw a gorgeous blonde girl standing on the corner of a well known street to him. It was the street Claire had moved to when Massie had left for London. This blonde girl was like the old Claire...the one who barely wore any make-up and always wore her hair in a boring, simple fashion. She wore a simple pair of black sweatpants-no words, no designs...no labels at all-with a hot pink hooded sweat shirt and a pair of hot pink converse that were the sweetest thing Cam had ever seen. But, it just had to be some kind of twisted deja vu...it just couldn't be true. There was no way that this was Claire. She was in Queens...or was it New York City...maybe the Bronx? He wasn't exactly sure, but she was somewhere-far away from him. He believed she'd called him her destruction. He'd been the one to blame for all of her problems. She liked to drink like a fish? Yeah, it was because they'd broken up. She started doing drugs? Oh, yeah, didn't you hear? Cam Fisher won't take it back, so we're just gonna blame him. Claire loved to have sex with boys too and do all those other slutty things that sluts did, and that was Cam's fault too. Clearly, if he was still dating her, she'd still be sweet Claire. Even her parents-even little Todd-had blamed Cam for Claire's problems. She'd left to get away from him and it killed him. Because what had he done? He'd loved her and she'd taken his heart and torn it apart.

Cam was not a jerk. He was the type of guy who would love a girl...protect her, fight for her, and hold her. He'd kiss her and laugh with her. But he would never make her fall unless he was positive he was willing to catch her. He put his all in every relationship he had. Claire hadn't cared about this. Still, Cam couldn't hate her. He was just very disappointed that she'd turned into everything she'd always said she'd never be. She'd lied to him. Forever just ended and she'd sat idly by and allowed it. Maybe it wasn't her fault Cam was so upset though. Maybe he should blame movies for the high expectations he put on love. Still, every single time Cam felt alone, he blamed Claire. Because it was her fault. Then he blamed himself for putting so many expectations on her. Maybe they were right when they blamed him for her faults? Maybe his expectations of her perfection were the reason that she'd taken this downward spiral?

Still, that girl looked an awful lot like Claire and she was holding a big duffel bag with somebody's initials on it. She'd just gotten off of a bus as well. Maybe...well, there was only one surefire way to guarantee that this girl was absolutely, positively Claire Lyons.

So, Cam allowed himself to turn onto her street and follow the girl as she walked. Was it a stalker-ish move? Yes, very much. Did he care? Nope, not at all. He was going to find out if this was Claire, and if it was, he was going to talk to her and try and fix things.

And if she wasn't? Well, who said he couldn't start fresh with somebody new? He chose to ignore the similarity in looks if this wasn't Claire, of course.

* * *

><p><em>I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell<br>Because I really fell for you  
>Oh I swear to you-I'll be there for you<br>This is not a drive by, just a shy guy looking for a two ply  
>Hefty bag to hold my love-when you move me everything is groovy<br>They don't like it sue me-mmm the way you do me_

Claire Lyons gasped as she heard her name called by Cam Fisher, the boy she'd always loved and always would love. She realized, of course, that she needed to get over him. Her obsession with him was unhealthy for her and their relationship was not good for either of them. She'd learned that while in rehab. Maybe her mistakes weren't all his fault, but he'd been the root of the problem. And he hadn't been there when she'd needed somebody. She'd needed him-and Massie, of course. But she'd had nobody. She'd been overwhelmed with emotions, and none of them were good. And she was scared as hell, to put it simply. She'd really fallen in love with Cam and she knew that it was too much too fast. But a large part of her just didn't care. None of her cared, actually. She turned around to face him.

"Claire...I know you're sick and scared and hurt...but I swear...oh, god, Claire, I swear that I'll be there for you from now on," Cam said softly, walking towards her quickly.

"No," She blurted. He paused, confused. "I just...we can't be together anymore Cam," She shook her head.

"I understand that," He nodded. "We can't be together right now, and that's fine. I'll be whatever you need until we can be together again, I promise," He said, sincerity filling his eyes.

"I can't be with you, Cam, I just can't, okay? What we had was great...but it wasn't real-not anymore, anyways. You want me because I'm here, in front of you, and you remember being in love with me. You're in love with being in love. Not with me. You love the memory you had of me, but not the person I am. I may not be the person I was when I was with Josh, but I am different from when we met. You need to understand that," Claire said in a low whisper.

"Claire...this isn't just something that I want for a second. It's not some kind of...drive-by. I'm a shy guy and I'm romantic. I want love. I need somebody who's strong enough to hold my love, and you're the person who can do that!" Cam said. "I don't know what you want me to say...god, Claire...when I'm with you everything's just perfect. You make me feel like a better person. And if people don't like it because they think I'm not good for you? Well, screw them! I want you-all of you, all the time." Cam said boldly. He meant every word, Claire could tell that without even looking at him. Cam always meant what he said.

"I miss you...everything about you," Claire whispered. "But I don't love you anymore. I mean, I do, of course, because you were my first love, but I'm not in love with you anymore. And I'm starting to get over you-get over us...to move 's time you did too," Claire said, nodding at him before turning around and leaving him there, all alone.

* * *

><p><em>On the upside of a downward spiral, my love for you went viral<br>And I loved you every mile you drove away  
>But now here you are again<br>So let's skip the "how you been"  
>And get down to the "more than friends" at last<br>Oh, but that one night is still the high light_

__Cam got back in his car, trying to find a bright side to this terrible feeling he had right now. His love life was just taking a total downward spiral and nothing could change that. Claire had rejected his love-the love everybody knew he had. He'd loved her from every word she'd ever spoken...every move she'd ever made. And here she was again, so close, but just so far away. He wished they could have skipped all those niceties and just fallen into each other's arms. He wished they could have gone straight to that relationship they'd had before, but they couldn't. That one night-Homecoming-was the high light of their reunion. But it was always the darkest point of their entire relationship.


	43. Chapter 43:Love The Way You Lie

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>_Chapter 43_**

_When it's bad, it's awful  
>I fell so ashamed<br>I snap who's that dude  
>I don't even know his name<br>I laid hands on her-I never stoop so low again  
>I guess I don't know my own strength<em>

She sighed as she covered yet another bruise from the supposed love of her life. How could he do this to her? She felt ashamed of herself...She was supposed to be smart. How could she let such a horrible thing happen to her? They were constantly fighting lately, and sometimes that was good for a relationship. Sometimes that meant you could last through anything. But with them...when it was bad it was just awful and when he got mad, he went straight to angry. She knew she should try to get out of the relationship, but she just didn't know how. This was the only type of love she'd ever had from a boy. She sort of wondered if this was all love really was.

And maybe it had been her own fault. She probably shouldn't have been talking and giggling with that boy at Pinkberry's the day before. She definitely shouldn't have exchanged numbers with him, but in her own defense-he'd seemed pretty gay to her. How was she supposed to know he was one hundred percent straight and totally into her? Well, her loving boyfriend had just asked who that boy was when the name popped up on her phone and when he'd learned it was Pinkberry-boy, he'd slapped her hard, right across the face. He'd grabbed her arm so tightly the bruises from his fingerprints were a deep, dark black. He'd yelled at her. And when he'd realized what he'd done, he'd promised he would never do it again. The thing is, he always said he'd never do it again. And she'd always turn back and forgive him. And then he'd do it again and apologize for it-but it wasn't something you could take back. The proof was on her skin. That was all she needed to remember that his promises were nothing more than empty words. She honestly couldn't even delude herself into assuming that he didn't realize his own strength. Because he was a football player and a wrestler-as well as being a boxer and a baseball player. How couldn't he know how strong he was?

The worst part was...he didn't seem to care that she didn't want what he did. She didn't want the sex every single night and the make-out sessions rather than sweet and romantic dates. She hated waking up in his arms, screaming and panting, telling him about her nightmares. Telling him how even in her dreams she was in an abusive and uncaring relationship with him and getting a slap in response-sometimes a harder hit if her hysterics were worse. The hit was enough to tell her to go back to sleep.

"I'm sorry, I really am," He whispered as they sat in his car. He'd just handed her a bouquet of twelve white roses-her least favorite flower. Her least favorite color. Her least favorite rose. "Forgive me?" He pleaded, leaning over and pushing her hair from her face. He kissed her then, before she could answer. She'd learned by now that if she didn't respond the correct way, she'd suffer severely. So she'd wrapped her arms tightly around him and climbed onto his lap, kissing him back with a forced kind of passion. "See? It's all okay," He smirked, lowering his seat and pulling her on top of him, grabbing her jacket and pulling it off of her. "I love you," He said as he started undressing her.

"I love you too," She whispered with tears in her eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Just gonna stand there and watch me burn<br>Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts  
>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br>Well that's alright because I love the way you lie  
>I love the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie_

"Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship," Massie said, glaring at her. Sure, she knew that Massie was right, but she didn't want to hear it.

"I'm not leaving him," She snapped.

"You're fading into a darkness that I just can't stop," Massie crossed her arms. "You need to break up with him and learn how to shine without him. You need to be free of his abusive ways," She went on.

"What do you know about it?" She barked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I can see them! I know what he's doing to you and I can't just sit by and watch you do this to yourself. I can't allow you to let him hurt you like that," Massie said, sitting down besides her.

"Well, it's okay...because I like how it feels," She said angrilly, grabbing her jacket and covering her bruised arms.

"You're not the same girl I became friends with before. How can you just expect me to stand by you and listen to you complain and cry?" Massie asked in disgust. "And then you go on about how perfect he is," She added bitterly.

"You don't understand our love!" She snapped at her best friend as she stood up. "I like how it feels and I love him." She barked as she left the room.

"You love the way he lies!" Massie called after her.

_I love the way he lies..._

_I love the way you lie..._

"I love the way you lie," She whispered as she got into her car.

* * *

><p><em>She freaking hates me and I love it<br>Wait, where you going?  
>I'm leaving you.<br>No, you ain't  
>Come back, we're running right back<br>Here we go again_

__He understood that sometimes the girl he loved absolutely hated him. But, he had to admit, he actually loved knowing that. Because he felt powerful knowing that she was still with him. He felt good about himself to know that she was staying with him despite her hatred of him and all his abuse towards her.

Sure, she'd tried to leave him before, but he'd tell her no she wasn't and grab her arm, yanking hard and loving how she cried out in pain. He'd make her come back and if she tried to run and free herself, he'd start his sweet guy act. Or he'd have sex with her. Sure, it was kind of rape, since he knew that she wasn't completely willing, but she was so afraid that she'd do whatever he wanted. He always got his way when it came to her.

And with that kiss, they'd start all over again. That was how it worked with them.

"We need to talk," She whispered, entering his room and sitting on his bed besides him.

"I don't want to," He responded, leaning over and kissing her, crushing her with his weight. She didn't kiss him back. She pushed him off instead. "You bitch," He slapped her. "I'm the best you're going to get, you dirty little slut, so you better give me what I-"

"No," She cut him off, pushing him farther away and standing up. "No, you're not. And I'm not a slut or a bitch. I'm a girl and I'm a lady. And I don't like you or how you treat me. So, I'm leaving you. And don't think you can stop me. I'm done with you and your abusive ways. I don't need you. I can do better and I will," She said, and with that, she turned on her heel and exited his room.

And Josh Hotz just sat there in shock as Alicia Rivera walked out of his life for good.


	44. Chapter 44:Tell Me Why

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 44**

_I'm sick and tired of your attitude  
>I'm feeling like I don't know you<br>You tell me that you love me then you cut me down  
>And I need you like a heartbeat<br>But you know you got a mean streak  
>Makes me run for cover when you're around<em>

"Alicia, can we please just talk about this?" Josh begged Alicia at school two days later. It was Monday, the first day back from break and January 10th. Alicia had been single for three days now, and every time she saw Josh, a little piece of her wanted him back. He'd kept trying to contact her since she'd walked out the door as well, but Alicia had been staying with Massie and Olivia, who had been making sure she didn't give into temptation and answer his calls or respond to his texts.

"About what, Josh? I'm sick and tired of your attitude. It kills me to feel like I don't really know you. And then you go and tell me that you love love and you want me...just to cut me down and make me feel small and like I'm nothing! It's not cool, it's not fair, and it's not the relationship I want, okay?" Alicia snapped at him, slamming her locker shut as she finished her rant. She needed Josh the way she needed oxygen. He kept her alive. But, he had a mean streak and it made her watch her words and her actions every single time he was around her. How could anybody be expected to live under those conditions?

"Leesh, I promise, I can change for you. I will, I swear. I'm sorry...I was just-"

"You were stupid," Massie cut in, standing behind Alicia with her arms crossed over her chest and her hip cocked. Josh smirked at her sexiness and shook his head. He needed to appear that all he wanted was Alicia. Massie may be hot, but it would be impossible to control her. Alicia was the hot and weak one. Massie was the sexy and confident one.

"Dude, you should know by now...the biggest rule in the guy code?" Derrick sighed, shaking his head as he wrapped an arm around Massie, flashing Josh a warning look. Derrick was no idiot. He knew what Josh was thinking. He wasn't stupid. He knew that look and what it meant. "Never hit your girl," He glared. "Seriously? That's just wrong," Derrick said in disgust.

"Der, come on," Josh sighed. "You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"Dude," Derrick shook his head. "You were supposed to be nice. You hurt my girlfriend's best friend. You hurt a girl who's like a little sister to one of your best friends. That's not cool. We aren't friends anymore," Derrick rolled his eyes.

"What happened to bros before-"

"If you finish that sentence with the word "hoes" I am going to personally kick your sorry little ass," Massie glared, pushing away from Derrick and approaching Josh. "If I ever see you near Alicia again, I am going to make sure that's the last thing you ever do," She threatened, standing right in front of him. She was about a head short than Josh, but to Josh, she was just that kind of sexy intimidating that every guy wanted in a girl. She was the bad girl type. The bad ass girl. He loved it. "Are we cle-"But she never got to finish her threat. Josh leaned down, grabbed her face within his hands and kissed her.

And just like that, Derrick had him pinned to floor and was punching him repeatedly in the face.

* * *

><p><em>You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day<br>Well I get so confused and frustrated  
>Forget what I'm trying to say<br>I'm sick and tired of your reasons  
>I got no one to believe in<br>You tell me that you want me, then push me around_

"We need to talk, now," Massie declared as she plopped down in the chair besides Josh. Derrick was currently in the principal's office, getting his punishment for the fight. Josh was waiting for his turn. "You're a sweet guy, Josh...you're kind and you're loyal-you're even smart...and you can be a really good boyfriend when you want to be. But, you could also write a book about how to ruin a person's life. Especially when everything else in their life is going perfectly. It really confuses me...no, actually, it _frustrates _me." Massie paused, growing angrier at the cocky smirk he wore as he stared at her chest as she spoke. She was slowly forgetting what she had to say due to her anger. And the worst part was? He wanted that to happen. _  
><em>

"I know, Mass...it's just...I know how beautiful Alicia is and I was so afraid I was going to lose her, because she's so much better than I am. She deserves better than me. And then...I was just so afraid of losing her and being alone, that I didn't realize it wasn't Alicia I was into anymore. It was you," He said, a coy grin on his face. It disgusted Massie.

"I am sick and tired of your excuses. Your reasons are stupid and you're nothing more than a player. The worst part is? You've made it so that Alicia has nobody left to believe in. You crushed her. And she's my best friend. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you know how worried I am about the girl who's like a sister to me? You told her that you wanted her, but that was only because you could push her around. It's sick. She feels like she's not even worthy of love anymore. It sickens me and so do you," Massie snapped, jumping to her feet and walking away. "AND STOP STARING AT MY ASS YOU PERV!" She called over her shoulder as she entered the hallway.

How could anybody have ever thought of Josh Hotz as anything other than another player? He was good looking, but that meant nothing if his personality was lacking. He wasn't sweet and he'd just stopped trying to be a good boyfriend. He was cruel and abusive. He wasn't worth Alicia's time. Yet, he'd somehow managed to weasel his way into her life and destroyed her spirit. He'd turned her into somebody Massie couldn't recognize and it upset her. Massie felt like she'd lost her best friend.

And with an addicted Claire and a closet-lesbian Olivia, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle an abused Alicia. A depressed Alicia. Maybe even a suicidal Alicia. She needed to figure something out to fix her best friend's soul and put all the pieces of her broken heart back together. And then she'd return her focus to Olivia and her sexuality issues. And _then _she could worry about Claire's addictions. Sometimes, being a good friend sucked. Sometimes, it made Massie want to admit defeat and go back to her old, bitchy ways. But then she remembered how she'd felt when her friends in London had taken the easy way out. She remembered how her friends must have felt every time she'd given up on them before.

But still, a large part of her hoped that Kristen and Dylan could remain drama free for just a little while.

* * *

><p><em>Yes, I remember what you said last night<br>And I know that you see what you're doing to me  
>Tell me why-why...tell me why<br>I take a step back...let you go  
>I told you I'm not bulletproof<br>Now you know_

__Alicia didn't have Massie's protection that night when the phone rang and she made the mistake of answering. Sure, she knew it was Josh and that it could only lead to trouble, but she had to answer.

"Do you remember that night at the club? Where those guys were hitting on you and the other girls and-"

"Yes, Josh," She sighed. Of course he'd skip a hello. Of course he'd cut the niceties and go right ahead to his point. He always wanted to rush into what he wanted. "I remember what you said that night. But that doesn't change anything. It doesn't mean you meant it," She said.

"I just...I love you and I don't see why we can't be together,"

"You kissed Massie," She rolled her eyes. He was disgusting. A pig and a perv. How could she have ever been into that? "Listen, I know that you see how much you're hurting me. So can you just...why? Why do you have to make me feel small?" She asked. But she knew the answer.

_So you can feel whole inside_

__"Why? Why do you have to put down my dreams until you're the only thing on my mind?" She sighed. "Tell me why?" And with that she hung up the phone and turned it off. As of right now, she was going to take a step away from him. She would make sure she noticed everything he did with a judgemental eye, rather than a love struck one. She refused to give in to him ever again. She was letting him go.

_I told you I wasn't bullet proof..._

__Well, now he knew.


	45. Chapter 45:Cell Block Tango

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 45**

_He had it coming  
>He had it coming<br>He only had himself to blame  
>If you'd have been there<br>If you'd have seen it  
>I betcha you would have done the same<br>_

Alicia Rivera may have decided that her relationship with Josh was over, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to get her well deserved revenge. Because she _so _was. If Josh hadn't learned from his totaled car, then he'd learn with this one. After all, if there was one thing Alicia knew how to do better than anybody, it was get even with people. And anyways, it wasn't like Josh didn't deserve it. Alicia had quit dance-for him. She'd let her grades start to drop-because of him. She'd taken harassment and abuse, both mentally and physically. It killed Alicia to remember all those times that he'd raised a fist to her. It just proved that she'd fallen for an inconsiderate, brain-dead jerk. Only neanderthals needed to use their violence rather than their words. And Alicia, stupid, naive Alicia, had figured it was alright as long as he said sorry afterwards and tried his best to make up for it. He'd swear he'd never do it again. And he would. And then he'd repeat the cycle over and over again. So, he definitely had Alicia's revenge coming. And karma was a bitch, just like the original Massie Block who had taught Alicia everything she knew about getting even with another person.

So, Alicia snuck out of her house early the next morning and drove towards the school, a bottle of spray paint tucked away neatly in her purse. It was silly and stupid that Derrick and Josh had gotten away with fighting with only a few detentions, but it worked for Alicia's revenge. She had more planned than just this, of course, but nobody else had to know that. This was part one and this was the most important part of her plan.

She entered the school, loving how naive the janitors could be in believing that no student would want to enter school between the hours of 5 pm and 7 am. Well, any _sane _person wouldn't want to be there. But Alicia wasn't exactly san anymore. She was heartbroken and dead set on revenge. Which was exactly what she'd be getting in just one perfect hour.

She made her way towards Josh's locker and smirked as she took out the spray paint, shaking the can and looking around to make sure nobody saw her. After being positive the coast was clear, she began to write in her flirty, bubbly letters her message to her ex-boyfriend. The message that would out her first love as the asshole he was. And while she knew it was wrong to tell _everybody _about it...especially since she was more than a little ashamed of what had happened, she didn't care.

Josh could only blame one person for what was about to happen, and that was himself. Anybody who had been around and paying enough attention to them would agree with her. Anybody who had seen and known about what Josh had done to her, they would have done the exact same thing.

_**Wife Beater **_

She wrote in bold, large letters across the surface of his locker. She smirked at her work as she walked towards the locker of the bitch that had been dating Josh the entire time she had been dating him. She broke into the locker, loving her knack with combinations, and dropped the can inside. Why not kill two birds with one stone?

* * *

><p><em>He had it coming<br>He had it coming  
>He took a flower in its prime<br>And then he used it  
>And he abused it<br>It was murder but now a crime  
><em>

__Alicia Rivera loved the reaction Josh's locker had been getting from the students of BOCD. She loved his face when he'd seen it. Of course, there were a few people who seemed to think that Josh was innocent. They assumed Alicia was bitter about what had happened between Massie and Josh. Some people, mostly the ones who wanted to be just like Josh or _with _Josh, were just against Alicia. But she had the same response for everybody who had something to say about it. He had it coming. Just like he deserved her next step. She entered the school's newspaper room and smiled at Brady Hopkins, the editor of the paper who was the biggest pervert in the entire school. Alicia propped up on the table he was working at and crossed her legs.

"Hey Brady," She smiled, keeping her voice low. "Could you do me a favor?" She asked, holding up a laminated, clear folder full of five crisp pages, front and back, freshly typed and printed.

"What do you want?" Brady smiled, eyes locked on Alicia's ample chest.

"I was wondering..."Alicia said, leaning closer to him and giving him a much better view of her cleavage. "If you could use this..."She handed him the Angel scented folder and flashed a sly, half grin. "In this week's paper? It's just a fun little fictional story I wrote, and I didn't think of how I could get it published. And then I thought of _you _and I just _knew _that you were the perfect man for the job!" Alicia gushed.

And Brady agreed just like that. Alicia winked as she left him there by himself and entered the hallway.

Yes, Josh Hotz most definitely had this coming. He'd taken sweet, innocent Alicia when she was at her very best and he'd ruined her. He'd stolen something she could never get back. He'd hurt her repeatedly. He'd used her. And he'd gone as far as to abuse her. He made her feel like shit and when he knew she was getting tired of it and ready to leave, he resorted to violence. And it just _sickened _Alicia to know that she'd put up with Josh for that long. He didn't deserve her time and she refused to give him anymore of it-unless it was spent planning on her revenge, of course.

Yes...she might be doing some pretty dastardly deeds, but it was okay. He deserved it. And nothing could change that. No matter Alicia did to him, it wouldn't be bad enough to pay him back for the torture he'd put her through. Yes, her revenge plots were cruel...they were murder, but they most definitely were not a crime.


	46. Chapter 46:Better Than Revenge

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 46**

_I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him  
>She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause<br>She took him faster than you can say sabotage  
>I never saw it coming, wouldn't have have suspected it<br>I underestimated just who I was dealing with  
>She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum<em>

__Alicia Rivera hadn't been in an abusive relationship with Josh for the entire course of their relationship. It had actually started out perfectly. Alicia had thought her life was perfect. She really thought that Josh lived her and would be there forever. She thought their relationship was fool proof and would last forever. Then Claire called her ex-boyfriend and he'd gone to pay her a little visit while in rehab. After that, everything started to go down hill for Alicia and Josh. He started hitting her and he was rarely around anymore. Yes, Claire had had the perfect plan. She'd come alone and played the innocent victim. She'd gotten him alone just long enough to ruin everything Alicia had worked so hard for. Yes, let's hear the applause, now...Claire had stolen Alicia's boyfriend faster than Alicia could blink. Alicia had thought they were friends. She'd never saw it coming, especially from Claire. And she wouldn't have suspected it, since she'd just thought that Claire was still in love with Cam. Apparently, she shouldn't have forgotten about seventh grade and the last soccer game of the season. She never should have forgotten about Lake Placid. She'd underestimated the blonde girl she was dealing with. And the worst part was, Claire had to know that the pain was killing Alicia. She had to know how hard this was for her. But she didn't care.

That's why Alicia's newly published newspaper 'story' was all about Josh and Claire and what they'd done to her. The story wasn't actually the same, of course. This one took place when it was hot, right in the middle of summer. And in the end of Alicia's story, both cheaters and liars got what they deserved. They went on with their lives, forever thinking about what they did. But it didn't matter that that part was fictional. Alicia had gotten her revenge and that was all that mattered to her. Clearly Alicia hadn't been the only one to underestimate somebody. Claire obviously didn't know what Alicia was capable of when somebody stole from her.

"Claire really dated Josh when she knew you were dating him?" Massie asked that day as the girls sat in Massie's car during lunch, having an emergency private meeting. "God, what a bitch. I thought she was our friend," Massie rolled her eyes.

"She's obviously not the girl we thought she was. She's changed since seventh grade, in case you haven't all noticed," Alicia rolled her eyes as she blew a strand of hair from her face.

"Well, I don't understand why he had to be such a jerk to you if he had that slut. Seriously, I thought she was like some kind of saint or something," Kristen shrugged. "I guess it's good to know that nobody's perfect," She shook her head.

"She's an actress," Dylan blurted out. "And she's only popular for what she does in bed. How could anybody think she was sweet?" Dylan said.

"I can't believe I kissed her. I probably caught something," Olivia wrinkled her nose in disgust. With all of Alicia and Josh's drama, nobody had cared when Olivia had outed herself at school. That was a good thing for her.

"Well, one day she's going to find out that when you steal from somebody, you lose more than you gain. Didn't she ever learn that stealing on the playground doesn't make you any friends?" Massie asked with a semi sweet smile on her face.

"And she forget to keep one thing in mind," Dylan smirked.

"What's that?" Olivia asked.

"If there's one thing we do better than anyone..."Kristen trailed off.

"It's revenge. There is _nothing _we do better than revenge," Alicia said with a sly smile on her face as she watched Josh cross the parking lot with his arm around Claire on her first day back at BOCD. "This is war," Alicia declared.

* * *

><p><em>I think her ever present frown is a little troubling.<br>She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things  
>But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know<br>Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go  
>Oh, they didn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me.<br>But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity_

__Alicia Rivera thought that life was just one big party that was all meant for her. She figured she could just snap her fingers and get what she wanted. Claire hated that about her. That was why when she'd seen a chance to hurt her and prove that sometimes the less pretty and the less sexy girls could win, she'd taken it. It wasn't that she was totally into Josh, she just didn't want Alicia to have him. And it was all because of those looks Alicia had given her since the seventh grade. Claire knew it was part jealousy that she was so close to Massie, but she hated how Alicia looked at her like she was the homeless look started by the Olsen twins back in 2005-the trend Alicia had always hated and had always been over. Claire wouldn't have it. Just like she hated that stupid pout Alicia would get whenever she didn't get her way. It sickened Claire, especially because she looked at Claire as if she were crazy for writing Cam those sweet little poems when they were in a fight. No, just because Claire was capable of rhyming Alicia with countless insults didn't mean she was psychotic.

Alicia needed to learn a little lesson in sophistication. She just thought that her wardrobe gave her enough right to walk around as if she ran the world. She assumed that dropping a name or two could get her whatever she needed in life. And she loved to manipulate people when it came to getting her way. That wasn't right. Clearly Alicia had never learned that back in prep school, but Claire would do the job for her. Lesson one? No amount of designer clothes or a closet full of vintage outfits could give her the dignity she needed.

People thought of Alicia as the victim, but they were wrong. They were clueless and stuck believing the lies that Alicia had fed them with the help of the Pretty Committe. None of them were the saints that they wanted other people to believe they were. They were all liars...pretty little liars with more secrets than they knew what to do with. And Claire knew each and every one. The thing was, she didn't like to play dirty. But with the girls who were better known for their assets than their good deeds, she'd break her own rules.

Alicia couldn't walk around assuming she could make friends with a charming smile. Kristen's talent wasn't enough to get her whatever she wanted. Dylan's constant dieting and redoing herself was only going to backfire on her one of these days. And Massie couldn't play pretend anymore. The more these girls took their popularity from other people, the less friends they would have. They were going to crash one day. After all, the bigger you are, the harder you fall.

They just needed to remember everything Claire had done to them since seventh grade. Sure, they had a couple of tricks up their sleeves that helped them out, but Claire was smarted and cleverer. She was going to win this battle of revenge. Because the thing Claire was the very best at was revenge.

* * *

><p><em>I'm just another thing for you roll your eyes at honey<br>You might have him but haven't you heard  
>I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey<br>You might have him but I always get the last word  
>She's not a saint and she's not what you think<br>She's an actress_

__Alicia Rivera stormed down the hallway, ready to have her face off with Claire. Maybe it would be less public and much more fun to just get her revenge on Claire, but that would mean that she still cared. She was going to end this now. Claire just assumed that she had everything figured out, but Alicia was going to make her doubt that. Claire didn't know what she was going and Alicia was going to make sure she realized that. Because she didn't think Claire had the first clue about what she was going. No, not at all.

"I'm just another thing for you roll your eyes at, right honey?" Alicia asked, crossing her arms as she stood in front of Claire. "Listen, if you want to have Josh, fine-have him. I'm done there anyways. You might have him...but haven't you heard?" Alicia smiled brightly. She was going to play nice. That was the only way to make friends-real friends. Claire thought stealing and plotting would work? Her schemes would lose her more friends than they would gain. She needed to keep that in mind.

"You aren't a saint, Alicia. Everybody thinks you are, but you're not. They don't know the truth about you. You're just a liar with a pretty face. That's an actress, but you're the type that's only good for what they can do on the mattress." Claire challenged.

"I'm just another thing for you to laugh at, right? You think you can bring me down?" Alicia asked her, raising an eyebrow. "Just wait...I can't _wait _until you see who my new boyfriend is tomorrow,"Alicia said bitterly. "Actually, I mine as well tell you. Remember Cam? Yeah...he's _such _a good kisser," Alicia smirked as she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving a speechless Claire behind her.

Alicia always got the last word. It was just her thing. So, she walked away.

Cue the applause_._

_Come on, Claire...show me how much better you are. Try to save your face. Don't you think you deserve some applause too? Oh, because you're so much better than me, right? Well, I can steal him faster than you can say sabotage as well. And I did. _


	47. Chapter 47:Honestly

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 47**

_Honestly, I'm way too tired to fight-round and round drama every time  
>I'mma go 'cause I got no problem with saying goodbye<br>Is it wrong that I'm gonna be having the time of my life  
>'Cause deep down I know I should cry..I should scream<br>And get down on my knees-I should say that I need you here  
>But I'm gonna party tonight 'cause honestly I just don't care<em>

"We need to talk." Claire declared, standing on her front porch with her arms crossed in a tiny little pair of black cotton shorts and a white off the shoulder belly shirt with pink rubber flip flops. Cam sighed as he looked around her lawn, spotting all of the sweatshirts and baggy tee shirts he'd lent to Claire over the years they were together. They were sprawled out all over the lawn. And he'd noticed a key mark on his car, in a tiny little C. She'd obviously chickened out after she'd started, but it was still clear she'd been angry. In Cam's own opinion, he thought she'd lost her mind.

"Why are my clothes all over?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm returning them," She shrugged.

"I don't want them. And what do you need to talk to me about? I don't care if you're with Josh, and I've got Alicia now. If you want to fight, I'm frankly just a little too tired for you and all your constant drama every time you're angry with me. So I'm just going to go...because I don't have a problem with saying goodbye anymore." Cam shrugged. Was it so wrong that Cam was going to have the time of his life after all these years of torture because of her? He deserved to be happy.

He knew he should probably be crying right now because it was official that he'd lost her forever, but he couldn't bring himself to dig deep down into the bottom of soul and scream. He just couldn't. If he wanted to get down on his knees, he'd do it, but he wasn't because he didn't want to. It was just a desperate desire that Cam had because of his old memories of being in love with Claire. He should probably say that he needed her here, because she'd actually been the one to end everything, but he didn't need to say that and he didn't want to. It wasn't true. Tonight he was going to party with his friends and their girls and they were going to have a good time. Because honestly, Cam was done caring about Claire.

Everybody was so excited that he was finally free of his obsession with her. They were excited that he was happy for once in a long time. And his phone hadn't stopped ringing since he'd broken free from her. And it was all because of Alicia and Massie. Ever since Massie's return, the two girls had become the best friends like you saw in the movies. They could do anything as long as they had each other.

So, Cam would go out and be stupid. Maybe they'd get drunk, something he hadn't done since freshman year when Claire and Josh had first started dating. Or he could just make out with all of Claire's old friends. He'd post pictures of himself on Facebook and tag her in them just to rub it in that he was happy without her. That they were all happy without her. That they didn't need her. He knew that would bug her more than anything.

* * *

><p><em>Don't roll up when they're playing my song<br>Don't act right when you know you're dead wrong  
>You're out of line-out of line-good night<br>Well I'm undercover...you can drop that bomb  
>It's a little too late 'cause I'm already gone-I'm already gone<br>Honestly you did it to yourself so don't blame me_

Cam Fisher was having the time of his life. Massie was pretty much raising herself since her mother was always out of town doing something with work or for herself. Cam's favorite song was playing-that new Hot Chelle Rae song _Honestly, _and all he could think about was how he hoped that Claire wouldn't show up and ruin the best night he'd ever had in so long. Actually, this was the best night of his life. Claire didn't have a right to act as if she knew what was going on with him and his life. Everything she said was dead wrong. She was out of line and all Cam had left to say to her was goodbye. He didn't want her messing with his life anymore. She was no longer allowed to have anything to do with his happiness...his heart...or his life.

He was a new type of guy. And he couldn't wait to drop that bomb on everybody at school. It was a little too late for Claire to realize anything, if she every decided that she liked him. If she ever decided that she still loved him, he was already gone. He wasn't coming back. He was giving up on her and he was moving on. And a part of him really did have feelings for Alicia. They'd been through heartbreak together so many times due to Claire and Josh. They had a connection that nobody else could ever come between. They shared a first heartbreak with each other all because of the same people using them. And that was what made Cam want to be with her so badly. She understood why he had to be done with Claire. It was the exact same reason that she was giving up on Josh. They needed each other. Claire had Josh now and Cam had Alicia. Clam was over and nobody could change that. It was done. Cam was done getting his heart broken over the same girl who didn't even care enough to try and communicate with them when it came to a fight. Why should he allow himself to remain in love with a girl who'd thrown his stuff around in an angry rage? No, it was officially over between the two of them.

And Claire had nobody but herself to blame. She'd done it to herself. She'd asked for this and she deserved it.


	48. Chapter 48:Gallery

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 48  
><em>AN: Always looking for song suggestions, so please leave them in a review or a private message_  
><strong>

_God broke the mold when he made this one I know...she's breath taking, but so much more  
>She walks in the room, your lungs close, making you never wanna breath again<br>Her boyfriend has got so much dough-so much ice his neck&wrist froze  
>Is her faithful to her? Hell no! But she chose to be with him, shorty<br>Tell me is the money worth your soul? Tell me what's the reason that you hold on when  
>You know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you<em>

Kristen was beautiful. Dune Baxter knew that and honestly thought that with every fiber of his physical being. She broke the mold of true beauty, with her long, dark blonde hair that could be argued as a light brown color. It was that perfect texture right between wavy and curly...between thick and thin. Her eyes were like the ocean and just pulled you right in. And her body? He didn't even want to get started there. She was absolutely breath taking, but she was also smart. She was funny and caring...loyal and sweet. She could be stubborn and competitive, but she was an all around good person. When she walked into a room, you just couldn't breath. And, honestly, if you had the choice between breathing and staring at her, you'd probably give up breathing forever. She was just that beautiful.

And her boyfriend...well, he had money. A lot of money. But when it came to his brain cells, he was seriously lacking. And he was a jerk. He was one of those old money types who thought he could get whatever he wanted by being rich. His heart was so cold that whenever you were around him, you felt that same chill. And he wasn't faithful to her. It was crazy to believe that. But...he was the one Kristen chose to be with. Not Dempsey Solomon who had lived his entire life since returning from Africa trying to impress Kristen. Dempsey had put up with Olivia's shit because he'd been trying to make her jealous. Dune, on the other hand, had always loved Kristen. When it came to Olivia, well, that had been his failed attempt at moving on. No, Kemp Hurley got the girl, and he didn't even realize how great he had it.

But, after a long time of silence and several failed attempts, Dune and Kristen were finally friends again. And, of course, Kristen knew about the cheating. But she couldn't bring it to herself to admit it as true. She'd rather live in denial, because Kemp was that guy who showered her with gifts, attention, and love. She was given compliments every other second, and whenever he'd cheated, he'd go off and buy her some extraordinary present to make up for it, always telling her that she was number one in his heart. He swore it had been a mistake and that it would never happen again. He promised that he'd settle down for her.

The thing was, cheating wasn't a mistake. An accident was falling off your bike and getting hurt. You don't just trip and fall into some girl. Life didn't work that way.

"Is the money...the gifts...the _status _worth your happiness?" Dune asked her as they sat in her living room studying for their AP Calculus test the following day. He knew she understood what he meant. Were all the gifts and the attention she got from being with Kemp worth all of the bad things being with him brought?

"I love him...and he really does love me. Some people just need time to adjust to a relationship," Kristen said softly.

_You've been together since September. It's February, _Dune thought bitterly.

"What's the reason that you're holding on? You know he has a ton of other girls just like you, deluding themselves that their somebody special in his eyes. You know he has an entire book full of girls who he's done this to, and you're going to end up just like them," Dune whispered, shaking his head.

"What?" Kristen frowned, but Dune knew she'd heard him. She always did that when it came to any conversation about Kemp.

* * *

><p><em>And girl you're just way too fine...gotta be treated as one of a kind<br>Girl just use your mind, don't be just another dime  
>Because I can't take seeing you with him<br>'Cause I know exactly what you'll be, in his gallery  
>Just not fair and it's tearing me apart<br>You're just another priceless work of art in his gallery  
><em>

Dune sighed the next day at school as Kristen entered the hallway, only to find Kemp flirting with Allie Rose Singer, who was leaning against her locker and twirling her hair around a finger, cuddled up in Kemp's hoodie. Dune knew there was no excuse to get another girl wear your sweatshirt when you were dating somebody else. It just wasn't cool. And Kristen was just way too good for that. She deserved to be treated like she was a rare and incredible-one of a kind and impossible to replace. Clearly Kemp didn't see that, or, at least he didn't act like it.

Kristen was smart...she just needed to take the time to think about it and she'd realize that she was just another dime in a dozen for Kemp. She wasn't the one plastic rose mixed in with eleven real ones. She was just another weed mixed in with a bunch of other exotic flowers to him. And it killed Dune. He couldn't take seeing Kemp nod and wink at Allie before walking towards Kristen and swinging an arm around her waist to make sure everybody knew she was his. That was how guys like Kemp were. Kristen could be sad and lonely with only Kemp and her friends for company-no other boys were allowed in her life. But Kemp could sleep with a different girl every night, and still be considered right.

Dune knew what Kristen was to Kemp in his gallery of girls. He had it down to an art. He figured out the type of girl the one he was after was, and then he used the tactics he'd delivered just for that stereo type. T

It just wasn't fair to do something like that to Kristen. Dune sighed as he ran a hand through his sandy blonde, shaggy long hair and narrowed his sea foam green eyes at Kemp. He was being torn apart with his desire to try and force Kristen into seeing what Kemp was really like, and his longing for her to be happy. He didn't want her to be broken hearted, and he understood there was no guarantee that a break up with Kemp meant he'd get her. But he didn't want her to be another work of art in gallery, no matter how priceless Kristen was.

Dune knew that Kemp didn't see her worth. He saw her as a piece of a meat-a prize to be won. And Kristen's good girl nature, and easy going attitude just made it easier for him to take her heart and tear it apart. Dune wanted to do something about it, but there was really nothing he could do, short of kicking Kemp's ass and making Kristen hate him for life.

So Dune was stuck watching Kristen's heart break slowly, day after day. He couldn't do anything about it. Kemp was the winner, no matter what terrible things he did. Dune was always going to come out as second best.

* * *

><p><em>She's so confused, she knows she deserved more<br>Someone who will love and adore but it's money's hard to ignore  
>She really doesn't know what to do<br>Girl it's just a matter of time  
>Before he finds another more fine...after he's done dulling your shine<br>You're out the door and he's through with you_

Kristen sat in her room in a sad little heap, tears streaming down her face. She was confused and frustrated. She understood that she deserved much better than Kemp. She deserved to be loved. She should be adored, complimented all the time. She should be the only girl in her guy's life and she knew that she deserved the type of guy who would hold her when she cried. She should have a boy who loved her in sweats and a tank top, with her hair all messy. She should have a boyfriend who would kick somebody's ass just for upsetting her. But she didn't have that. Instead, she had Kemp who flaunted his money around and made it impossible to ignore. And for somebody like Kristen, for whom money had always been a big issue, it was important. Her love for Kemp was what attracted her to him, but she was staying because of her faith in him and fear that nobody else would ever love her. And, because of the gifts and perks and bonuses she got for being his girlfriend.

But she didn't know what to do, because it was getting awful. She was alone all the time, not allowed to talk to anybody but him. When she had a girls' night with her friends, she was questioned and harassed the whole time. Meanwhile, Kemp was out doing whatever he wanted with his pick of the week. She was usually younger than Kemp, a virgin of course. She was rich and gorgeous, with a hot body that couldn't be rivaled. She wore barely any clothes, and she had those deep, low voices that turned boys on. That was apparently Kemp's type, and that sickened Kristen.

She understood that her time with him was obviously limited. After all, it was only a matter of time before he found a different girl to replace her. One who was just a little bit better than she was. He'd make sure she lost that sparkle to her eyes first, and the energy she had would be gone before he released her. He needed to make sure she wasn't the same Kristen who had entered this relationship. She wouldn't have that one little factor that had made her so appealing to him-her virginity. He'd take that and then he'd send her on way.

When she finally walked out of the door and left his life forever, it would be because _he _was done with _her, _not the other way around. That was how it was with Kemp. He left girls broken and desperate. He was like John Tucker, but no girl was brave enough to stand up to him, because they all still loved him and longed for him, even after he was gone. Because he did know how to charm a girl. He _was _capable of making a girl feeling special and worthwhile. That was why he was such a great player. He knew what it took to get to a girl and get what he wanted.

And he knew how to make it so when he left, she still wanted him, even if she knew that he was done with her.

* * *

><p><em>You're a master piece I know that he<br>Can't appreciate your beauty  
>Don't let him cheapen you<br>He don't see you like I do  
>Beautiful, not just for show<br>Time that someone let you know_

Dune Baxter thought of Kristen as a master piece. He knew that Kemp couldn't truly appreciate her beauty, because he couldn't really understand it. But he couldn't allow Kristen to let Kemp cheapen her anymore. He wouldn't do it. Kristen needed to know that Kemp didn't see her-didn't love her-the same way Dune himself did. She was beautiful, but she wasn't some trophy wife who was meant to be seen and presented at the approriate times at the right settings. She was supposed to be loved and honored...respected and taken care of like she was all that mattered in the world. Kemp couldn't do that because he was selfish. But Dune could and he would. So he just had to let Kristen know that.


	49. Chapter 49:Part Of Me

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 49  
><em>AN: You don't know how long it took to find this song!_  
><strong>

_You'll never know all these things I feel inside  
>I want to show you there's nothing out there to find<br>Oh baby, I wanna make you see there's nothing more to fear  
>'Cause every thing's right here<br>I'm everything you want...I'm everything you need  
>And every little part of you, is a part of me<br>_

Kristen Gregory sighed as Kemp walked into her house, about an hour and a half later than he'd promised he'd be there. She knew from the gleam in his eyes that he was drunk, and because of the mismatched buttons on his shirt, with the crooked tie, she could almost guarantee that he'd just had sex with some girl, because Kristen wouldn't give it to him. Clearly, he'd only _said _he was going to take her on a nice date. He'd obviously decided he wanted to spend this particular Thursday night, which just so happened to be Valentine's Day, with her because he thought he'd get lucky, because her parents wouldn't be home. Kristen shook her head in disgust. All Kemp wanted from her was a hook up, and he wasn't getting it, so he went elsewhere. That was his loss, because he would never get to know everything that she felt for him, because deep down in her heart, she really did love him. She cared about him and longed for a day when he'd realize how wrong he was so they could be together. But she knew that day wasn't going to come soon.

The only way Kristen could really show him that there was nothing else for him to find out there, was to give into him. And then he'd be gone. Kemp was not the type of guy to stick with one girl. He may love Kristen, but he was a player by nature and nothing could change that. He was afraid of commitments, after his parents' awful divorce where both had been cheating on the other. He was afraid to become attached to somebody, and he didn't realize how wrong cheating was. He idolized his father, and his father had been the one to say that treating the woman you love like a princess while you had a younger, hotter, sluttier girl on the side was alright. But Kristen knew that Kemp's other reason was that he was terrified of making a commitment to anybody. She wanted to show him that there was nothing to be afraid of, but he just wouldn't give her the chance.

Kemp took one look at the hard expression on her face though, and his own face fell. It was clear to him that he wasn't going to get with Kristen tonight. So, he turned right around and started towards the door, mumbling some kind of excuse about how he forgot he had other plans. Kristen sighed. He wanted to leave. Of course he did-she wasn't going to give in. But, just as his hand touched the door knob, he turned around to face her and sighed, studying her face. He knew, deep down, that everything he really wanted was right here.

Kristen knew that too. She was everything Kemp wanted-smart, loyal, passionate, beautiful, sexy, and funny. And she was even what he _needed-_realistic, careful, thoughtful, and sweet. And, everything that he was, was a part of her. She was trying to make him a better person, and this one little piece of evidence was enough to show her that she was capable of actually making a change in him.

"I think we should talk," Kemp whispered.

* * *

><p><em>I'm everything you know and everywhere you go<br>And I hope that you see  
>That you're everything to me<br>Everything to me-yeah...  
>Whisper to me, I hang on every word you say<br>Don't tell me no-as you turn and walk away  
><em>

__Kemp Hurley was certain about one thing. Loving Kristen Gregory was the only thing he knew how to do. Everywhere he went, she was on his mind and he could see her every time he closed his eyes, no matter where she was. He loved her with all his heart, and now he was messing even that up. He really did try to make Kristen see that she was everything to him, but then he turned around and did something stupid, like he'd done today, when he'd hooked up with Allie-Rose Singer before arriving at her house for their date. Yeah...Allie was nothing compared to Kristen. Kristen was all that mattered in Kemp's perfect little world.

"I can't take this anymore," Kristen whispered. "If you're going to cheat, then can you just leave? I mean...if you're so unhappy with me and you don't love me as much as I love you, can you please just leave me and let me move on? I can't delude myself about this relationship anymore. It just hurts too much," She said softly. Kemp leaned in closer to her, trying to focus on every single word that left her mouth. He always listened to Kristen. He could sit there and listen to her voice all day. He even made sure he actually heard her and was able to comprehend what she was saying. He liked talking to her.

"Kristen...I love you...I just-"

"Don't make excuses...please, Kemp, I can handle anything as long as you don't give me any stupid excuses,'" Kristen shook her head.

"I'm an idiot," Kemp said. "And I don't deserve you. So...I'm going to let you go," He whispered, standing up slowly and turning to walk away.

"No," Kristen blurted. He turned back towards her. "You can't just end things with me and turn and walk away. When I say no to you, I don't get up and leave, do I? You're an idiot alright, but you don't not deserve me. You do deserve me, and we just need to talk things out, alright? We can make it all work, I promise, okay?" She said.

"What makes you so sure about all that?" He asked her, sitting back down besides her.

"Because love conquers all," Kristen said boldly. "I mean, the course of true love never did run smooth and all that garbage from Shakespeare, but it always _works _because...well, because it's something everybody wants. Like Jojo said in _Aquamarine..._love is the closest thing we have to magic-so everybody wants it," She explained, reaching out and taking his hand in her own.

So what if this wasn't the ideal way to spend Valentine's Day? It was how their relationship worked.

* * *

><p><em>I understand your confusion<br>In denial, disillusioned  
>But I won't wait too long<br>And I just might move on  
>I'm buried by your indecision<br>Digging for the life I'm missing  
><em>

__"Alicia, can we talk?" Cam Fisher asked.

"Um, duh, that's kind of why I answered the phone," Alicia giggled.

"What's going on between us? Are we dating?"

"Why would you think we were dating?"

"Because that's what you told Claire and Josh...and had me tell them."

"Oh, I get it! You're confused, right?"

"No...I think you're in denial, though,"

"Cute," Insert an eye roll here "I think you're just a little disillusioned. Listen, I'm enjoying being single. Did I mention to Claire in passing that we hooked up that one night? Yeah, sure. And did I give you permission to tell her? Totally, I won't deny that. But that doesn't mean we're dating, alright?"

"Are you sure? Because I'm not gonna sit around and wait for your answer. I'm going to go and get over Claire and forget any feelings I may or may not have for you, if you're sure we aren't together or anything like that,"

"Oh, I'm so nervous," The sarcasm hurt a little bit. "Listen, my decision means nothing. Do I want to be with you? Maybe, but that doesn't matter, because I want to be single and enjoy my last year and a few months of high school, and I suggest you go ahead and do the same,"

"Alright..."

"Listen," A sigh was here as the voice softened. "You just need to go and try out the life you've been missing for the past year,"

"Two years,"

"Whatever...anyways, just go and try the single life-I bet you'll love it!" _Click_


	50. Chapter 50:I'm Just a Girl

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 50**

_It ain't so much a question of not knowing what to do  
>I knowed what's right from wrong since I've been ten<br>I heard a lot of stories and I reckon they're true  
>About how girls are put upon by men-I know I mustn't fall into the pit<br>But when I'm with a feller I forget!  
>I'm just a girl who can't say no<br>_

"We need to talk," Massie Block declared, walking straight into Alicia's room and crossing her arms at the girl who was cleaning out her closet of anything that seemed to scream out _TAKEN. _It shocked Massie to see that most of the clothes she was getting rid of happened to be Ralph Lauren, who was her supposed favorite designer. Massie had just assumed that the day Alicia donated ANYTHING Ralph Lauren would never come. She sighed, trying to figure out what had happened to her clean-cut, classy best friend.

"Yes?" Alicia called from her closet.

"Why'd you tell Cam you wouldn't go out with him because being single's so much fun?" She glared. "You do realize that you're sort of acting like a slut...care to explain before I start calling Intervention?" Massie asked her, dropping down on Alicia's bed.

"It's not that I don't know what it looks like, Mass," Alicia sighed, tossing yet another sweater into the GARBAGE pile. "I mean, I've known right from wrong since I was like, ten, haven't I? How long have you known me again?" Alicia asked, shooting her friend a look.

"Then what's going on? Because this isn't the Alicia I know and love, and frankly, I miss her," Massie said, dropping to her knees to go through Alicia's large pile of clothes to get rid of. "I mean, you do know what some of the guys in Westchester are like, don't you?" She wondered.

"Of course I do!" Alicia said in shock, a little hurt that her friend would assume she didn't know a piece of gossip-especially one as large as that one. "I've heard all the stories, and I'm sure that some of them are true. I don't doubt what some guys would do to get with a girl if they liked her enough and were desperate enough," Alicia went on, calming down considerately. "I know that I have to be careful and all...the thing is," Alicia frowned. "Well, whenever a HART comes around? I just..."She shook her head, not wanting to finish.

"You just _what?" _Massie asked, raising her eyebrows as she paused from her clothes inspection for a moment.

"I _forget!" _Alicia whined. "I'm...I'm just a girl who can't seem to say no," She said sadly. And with that, Massie burst out laughing.

* * *

><p><em>I'm in a terrible fix-I always say "Come on, let's go" when I oughta just say "Nix"<br>When a person tried to kiss a girl, I know she oughta give his face a smack  
>But as soon as someone kisses me I somehow sorta want to kiss him back<br>I'm a fool when lights are low  
>I can't be prissy or quaint<br>I ain't the type that can faint-I can't say no_

"What do you mean you can't say no?" Massie asked as soon as she'd calmed down enough from her hysterics to get a full sentence out.

"Don't laugh at me," Alicia scolded. "It's an awful problem that I have. I know that I shouldn't be so willing and eager and...well, flat out easy, but whenever I should be saying goodbye, I kind of just encourage it all to go a little bit further and last just a tad bit longer," She explained in a low voice. "Does that make me a slut?" Alicia wondered.

"Of course not!" Massie said, sounding a little bored as she returned to her clothes inspection. "I mean, sometimes, when a guy kisses a girl, he just needs a good smack, because he totally _shouldn't _be kissing her and all, but sometimes, when somebody kisses me, I just sort of want to kiss him back just a little," Massie shrugged. That was a natural response to being kisses. You just _reacted. _The typical response was the kiss back. It was a little rude not to.

And sometimes, when Massie was in a romantic setting, with dim lights and low music, she couldn't resist Derrick. Their dates were often cut short because Massie couldn't stand being someplace so sexy with him where they couldn't just instantly be together, doing whatever they wanted. It was impossible for Massie to be a polite, proper young lady when it came to moments like that. And everybody knew that Massie wasn't a romantic. But sometimes it was hard for even her to say no. Of course, she couldn't let Alicia know that. She couldn't allow her to have a reason to become the newest cast member in the Bad Girls Club.

"What are you going to do when a guy gets all flirty and grabby with you?" She wondered, examining a burnt orange, v-neck, tee shirt sweater. "What are you going to say when he starts to sweet talk you?" She asked innocently.

"Supposing that he says what exactly? I mean, I understand what a lousy pick-up line is," Alicia rolled her eyes. She knew what Massie was up to.

"If he says your lips are like cherries...so red and juicy?" Massie teased. "Or roses, maybe-all red and soft looking? Even a berry of some sort?" She rolled her eyes. She knew Alicia was onto her, but she wouldn't give up without a fight. "What are you going to do when you sees you're sweeter than splenda?" Massie sighed, knowing it was a pointless battle.

"Is he going to add that he's a diabetic and needs some sugar or else he'll die?" Alicia added with a giggle.

"Be serious!" Massie scolded.

"Well, what would you do if a guy talked to you like that?"

"I'd spit in his eye!"

"You know me, Mass," Alicia sighed. "I hate disappointing people. I just can't seem to say no when I know it means upsetting somebody," She went on. "If he wants to give me attention and be all sweet, why should I turn him away, after all?" She whispered.

"Alicia, are you worried that nobody is ever going to love you again after what Josh did? Because they will, but not if you act like this," Massie said, her expression softening a bit. "You need to be cool and refined. Forget about the freaking Golden rule-make them want _you," _Massie instructed. "Remember, even if he's as suave as Romeo-well, Romeo was a bit of a player, in case you forgot," Massie added.

"But...when I'm dancing with a guy or sitting all close to him...something inside of me just snaps and I can't say no," Alicia complained.

* * *

><p><em>Kissing is my favorite food-with or without the mistletoe, I'm in the holiday mood<br>Other girls are coy and hard to catch, but other girls ain't having any fun  
>Every time I lose a wrestling match, I have a funny feeling that I won<br>Though I can feel the undertoe, I never make a complaint  
>Til it's too late for restraint-then when I want to<br>I can't say no_

__Alicia Rivera loved to kiss. Kissing was pretty much her favorite food. It was her favorite sport. It burned a fair few amount of calories, after all. And, even without mistletoe, nobody's lips were safe when Alicia was in the holiday mood. Sure, other girls liked to believe playing hard to get was the only way to go. They thought acting all coy and oblivious to a boy who obviously liked them was smart, but in the end, they didn't get to have as much fun as Alicia did.

Whenever Alicia would wrestle with a boy, she felt like she won, even if she'd just lost. It was a funny little feeling that she'd come out on top in the end. Because she could feel how much they wanted her-and she never complained about something that made her feel good-wanted...good-looking and appealing to the opposite sex. No, Alicia never tried to stop anything until it was just a little too late. And when she realized her mistake, she couldn't bring herself to say no.

"Okay, I'll behave," Alicia sighed, not really meaning it, but wanting to end this stupid fight with Massie.

"Okay," Massie said and the girls were silent until a loud gasp from Massie. "I can't believe you're getting rid of this!" She said in disbelief and Alicia knew she was talking about the lilac colored, slinky halter top that had always been Alicia's favorite top. But, it just wasn't sexy enough for Alicia's new lifestyle.


	51. Chapter 51:She's a Lady

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 51**

_I'm in love with a girl I hate-she enjoys pointing out every bad thing about me  
>I'm in love with a critic and a skeptic-a traitor...I'd trade her in a second<br>She's a backseat driver-a drama provider..an instant update of the world  
>She's a first-class liar, a constant forgetter...she's attractive but bitter<br>Did you scream enough to make her cry? It's a turn around  
>Turn around-baby don't return to me if you that I'm not worth your time<em>

Derrick Harrington was madly in love with Massie Block. He was crazy about the girl and he just couldn't stop thinking about her. The problem was that sometimes he hated her just as much as he loved her. After all, how long could he stand her pointing out his every mistake? He was supposed to be perfect, according to her, and she lived to point out anything he did wrong. Every one of his flaws was just a new game for her to use to make him feel like he didn't deserve her more than he already did. Of course, Massie didn't know this, or else he was sure she wouldn't do it. And Derrick couldn't tell her, because he loved those moments where she'd tease him about every little imperfection. So he'd scream it out to the world-he was in love with a critic...a skeptic girl who was always suspicious of his ulterior motives, even when he didn't have any. She was a traitor too, constantly taking her friends' sides over his own, or his friends' side rather than his. But he loved that quality about her, because he knew she'd never trade her. Although, sometimes he thought he'd love the opportunity to trade her in for somebody just a little bit nicer. He'd do it in a second-but that rash decision would make him miserable for the rest of his life. He'd be forever in regret.

"You're going to fast," Massie muttered as she stared at her cell phone, scrolling through her Twitter account to see what everybody else in the world was up to. That was how Massie was-but, she had to correct his driving first. It was her goal in life. She was the world's worst backseat driver. "Alicia and Josh are fighting again," She sighed. "Sometimes, I can't stand them," She rolled her eyes. She loved to be in the center of all drama though, so Derrick knew that her fingers were quickly commenting on whatever rude remark one of them had just tweeted about the other one.

There were a lot of qualities about Massie that Derrick hated, of course. She was a liar-he knew she was lying about what had happened in London...what was going on with her family. She was a good liar too, but she wasn't completely dishonest. She always told the truth when it mattered. She lied to protect people, and that made it just a little bit better.

She was constantly forgetting everything, though. She rarely remembered anything that didn't have to do with shopping or her social life. She could forget plans she'd made with you in an instant, and only remember about five minutes before hand. But she still ended up showing up and being the most beautiful girl in the room, right on time. Massie could be a bitch sometimes, but there was no doubt about her attractiveness.

The only real problem with their relationship though, was their fighting. When they fought, Derrick would scream-and he'd scream loud, hurtful things that he knew would make her cry. He didn't stop until she was crying, and then he felt awful. Then, their fight would turn around and Massie would start to leave, with Derrick pleading with her to just turn around and give him one more chance. But he'd always add, even if it was only in his head, that she didn't need to return if she didn't honestly believe that he was worth her time. If she'd finally realized that she could do so much better than Derrick, he wasn't going to stop her from moving on and leaving him as a part of her past. He just always prayed that day would never come, and he was always so grateful when she'd smile, shake her head, and return to him, saying that this time was his _last _chance, before giving him another one after their next fight. They loved in a cycle, but Derrick didn't mind.

* * *

><p><em>She's a lady&amp;ladies shouldn't be messed with<br>She's a lady&ladies shouldn't be messed with  
>Take off your shoes, come in the room<br>And baby let's try not to argue  
>Turn out the lights, turn on the radio<br>How can fight when I'm too busy loving you_

Chris Plovert honestly believed it when he told people that Dylan was a proper lady. It didn't matter that she liked to eat and burp. It didn't make her a guy to laugh at the boys' perverted jokes. It made her fun. She was a lady, and she was not to be messed with, because no girl deserved that.

The best part of their relationship, of course, was how she could just enter his house, slip off her shoes and silently tip toe into his room. He always knew when she was coming, but he played surprised every time. And they'd swear to one another that they wouldn't argue-which was all too easy with what they were about to do.

Dylan would flip the lights off as she entered the room and approached Plovert's bed and Plovert would turn on his stereo, blaring some old Ray J song from forever ago.

Dylan would climb right onto his bed and wrap herself in his arms, and they'd just lie there, listening to music while playing some silly game to get closer to one another mentally, and that was perfect for them. That was all they wanted.

Yeah, how could they possibly fight when they were too busy loving one another?

* * *

><p><em>Here I am-there you go again-again and we will not, ever be 18 again-again<br>And I'm worn out of fighting and every night you leave crying  
>And I could use some time-here I am there you go again<br>So here I am and I'm dying and I'm waiting for you  
>Come back-come back to me-and I'll take you gladly<br>And I'll take you anyway _

Josh Hotz was standing right by Alicia's locker, which he _knew _she had to stop at before leaving school that Friday. He was right there, and...there she went. Every single time he tried to wait for her and catch her some place where she was supposed to be, she'd just keep on going, purposelly trying to ignore him. Every time. Didn't she understand that they would never have this time of their lives back? This was their one opportunity to be foolish and in love and make mistakes. They'd never get to be like this ever again. And she was throwing it away. He wasn't going to let her though. He started sprinting, chasing after her.

"ALICIA!" He shouted. She paused, sighed, ran a hand through her hair and turned slowly around.

"I'm worn out of fighting, okay? I can't do it anymore. And you're with Claire," She said softly.

"I am not! The day I made you cry because of that...every night I kept replaying that scene in my head. I couldn't stop watching you leave me over and over again, crying each and every time, because of me. I broke up with her, because I love you. And it kills me to know that I hurt you so much." He shook his head.

"You need some time to make sure this is what you want. And you need to get some help. I can't be treated like that ever again. I'm not capable of holding on if that happens again," She said.

"I've had some time! I'm here, aren't I? I'm sure and I'm sorry and I _have _changed," He protested. And she turned and went to walk away once again, leaving him there alone, dying slowly on the inside. "I'm going to keep waiting for you," he called after her. And it was true. He'd wait for her as long as he needed to. "Come back to me," He whispered. All he wanted was for her to come back and take him back with open arms and a wide smile on her face. And he'd take her anyways, no matter what she had to say about her part in their problems.


	52. Chapter 52:Papa Don't Preach

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 52**

****_Papa I know you're going to be upset  
>'Cause I was always your little girl<br>But you should know by now..I'm not a baby  
>You always taught me right from wrong<br>I need you help, daddy please be strong  
>I may be young at heart, but I know what I'm saying<em>

__"Massie," Alicia whispered as she knocked on her best friend's bedroom door.

"Yeah?" Massie called. She was sitting on her bed, prepping for her SATs when Alicia walked into the room.

"I need to talk to you-I have something really important to tell you, but you have to promise not to over react and get mad, because I know you're going to get upset," Alicia blurted, forgetting all about her planned out speech on how to tell Massie about her problem. She knew Massie was going to take this the hardest, because Alicia was always the one who would never lie to Massie. She would always follow Massie's advice. Even when they'd gotten into fights, Alicia had stayed true to Massie's rules on almost everything, especially boys.

"What? Did you hook up with Josh or something stupid like that?" Massie teased, kicking aside her books and smiling at her best friend. Comparing this Alicia, the mature, confident and sophisticated one to the old, insecure, innocent and naive Alicia that had existed back in seventh grade was like trying to compare the old Massie to her knew self. It was clear that Alicia had changed with the years she'd had added to her life. Massie knew that better than anybody.

"You always gave me that great advice," Alicia whispered, sitting down on the edge of Massie's advice. "Especially about guys, and I always followed it. But I didn't listen and I messed up one time, and I need your help. Can you be strong for me?" Alicia whispered.

"You got together with Josh," Massie's jaw dropped.

_You don't know the half of it..._Alicia thought. Who was she kidding? She couldn't tell Massie the whole story! Look at how judgemental she was getting from just these few sentences and the mere thought of Alicia sleeping with Josh.

"I love him...and you love Derrick, so don't tell me I'm too young to know what I'm talking about, alright? You're only two months older than me anyways," Alicia protested. "I know what I'm talking about," She declared.

She was in too deep to back out now.

* * *

><p><em>The one you warned me all about<br>The one you said I could do with out  
>We're in an awful mess<br>And I don't mean maybe-please  
>Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep<br>Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep_

__"I told you a million times," Massie shook her head. "I've warned you about what he's like and you still insist on getting with him? Leesh, do you want to get your heart broken? He abused you! He could-"

"I know, Mass, okay? You've warned me all about him. I understand that you think I can do without him and all, but right now, I really can't. We're in real big trouble...we got into an awful mess, and I'm not sure if I mean maybe or not just yet...but, please-I'm just asking for your help, okay?" Alicia begged, tears flooding her doe-like brown eyes.

Massie sighed, taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. She needed to be rational. Alicia was clearly upset about whatever was going on right now, and she expected Massie to be there for her, as her friend. And Massie was going to do whatever Alicia needed. She was a good friend and she would help Alicia through whatever tough time she was in right now.

"What's going on?" Massie sighed.

"Please don't start preaching about how I was stupid, okay? I'm in really deep shit and you're the only person I have to go to. Don't start trying to reprimand me, because I've lost enough sleep," Alicia sighed.

That was when Massie noticed the dark circles ruining Alicia's beautiful face. Even her make-up couldn't hide just how tired she was. Massie sighed.

"How long's this been going on for?" She asked.

"Well, I suppose it happened on Saturday, but I didn't think anything of it until Wednesday," Alicia sighed. It was Friday now, a week after Alicia and Josh's big scene in the parking lot where he'd all but begged her to take him back.

"Alright, tell me what's wrong," Massie said at last.

* * *

><p><em>He says he's going to marry me<br>We can raise a little family  
>Maybe we'll be alright<br>It's a sacrifice, but my friends keep telling me to give it up  
>Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up<br>What I need right now is some good advice, please_

__"I think I'm pregnant," Alicia whispered.

"What do you mean, you _think?" _Massie asked, doing her very best to remain calm. "You know what, I don't care about that. What are you planning on doing if you really _are?" _She whispered.

"Josh said he's going to marry me, if I am. We can have a little family, just the three of us. I'm sure we'll be alright," Alicia shrugged carelessly.

"Alicia," Massie sighed, shaking her head. "Josh is a pretty boy who depends on his parent's money to get him by. Do you really think they're going to help him support a mistake he made with you? And what about you? You have all these plans, and you do realize how hard it's going to be to go through with them all if you have a baby, right? I mean...don't you realize that your parents won't help support you either? The chances of getting your parents' support are slim to none, sweety. I don't want you to throw your entire life away be-"

"Massie-I understand that it's a sacrifice," Alicia cut her off. "But I don't care. I know that Dylan's going to tell me that I should just give the kid up and Kristen's going to be all logical about it. But I don't want to hear that I'm too young and should be enjoying my life and trying to make the most of it. My parents are going to say that when I tell them. What I want from you-because you're my best friend-is some good advice, please?" Alicia asked in a soft voice. She seemed so weak that it killed Massie to listen to.

"I know..."Massie sighed. "And this is all I can honestly tell you. Listen to your heart, all right?" Massie said, crawling across the bed to be besides Kristen. She wrapped an arm around her and held her close, allowing her to rest her head on her shoulder. "Leesh, I'm going to be here no matter what you decide. And if you want to keep the baby, I'll help you. The only thing I'm going to ask of you...please don't rush into marrying Josh just because of the baby, alright? And I really want you to at least consider adoption, alright? But I can't make this decision. Your parents can't make the decision and neither can Josh or his parents. Kristen and Dylan's opinions don't matter. All that matters is what _you _think is right," Massie explained.

"When'd you get to be so wise?" Alicia asked, and that was when Massie realized she was crying.

* * *

><p><em>But I made up my mind-I'm keeping my baby<br>I'm gonna keep my baby  
>Daddy, daddy if you could only see<br>Just how good he's been treating me  
>You'd give us your blessing right now<br>Cause we are in love-we are in love, so place_

__Alicia pushed away from Massie's hug and looked her right in the eyes.

"Thanks, Mass...but I've given it a lot of thought, and I've already made up my mind. I'm going to keep my baby. It was my mistake and I need to live with it. I can't be immature and hand it off to somebody else. I'm going to keep my baby," She nodded once as if to confirm her decision.

"Please reconsider that one," Massie said. "Adoption will make your life easier, but it will also make the baby's life better," Massie explained. Alicia nodded.

"And I get that you're angry with Josh, but if you could see how he's been treating me...oh, Massie, he's been so sweet and so kind. Especially after I realized that something must have gone wrong. God, Mass, you'd fall under his spell all over again, I promise. And either way...well, I love him. We're in love, so...please, just promise you'll help us-both of us?"

"Of course I will, Leesh...I swear," Massie smiled, hugging Alicia once more, finally letting her own tears fall.


	53. Chapter 53:A Little Drunk On You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 53**

_Pour a little crown in a dixie cup  
>Get the party started<br>Girl you make my speakers go boom boom  
>Dancing on the tailgate in a full moon<br>That kind thing makes a man go mhm  
>You're looking so good in what's left of those blue jeans<br>_

It was a party. A part for the PC and a party for the Briarwood boys. A few other select A-listers were there as well, but it was just small party on April 1st, the first day of spring-because it had been a _hot _spring so far. After all the drama with the girls-and the guys-Massie had figured they deserved a party. So at the overlook on the cliff just outside the town limits, everybody had met up at sunset at the little river side clearing, their cars speeding in four wheel drive to frame Massie-the first arrival-in a tail light circle.

"Need a refill?" Derrick asked Massie, leaning besides the hood of his car besides her. He took her Dixie cup from her and walked away without waiting for an answer. Massie shrugged. They might as well get the party started, right? The thing was...it was just so _boring _right now. Massie needed to change things, for her party's sake.

So, she walked around towards the driver's side of Derrick's truck, starting it up and plugging in her iPod, blaring an old Ray J song-_Sexy Can I? _Sometimes, it took those nineties and early 2000 songs to really get a party pumping. Then, Massie hopped up and walked towards the front of his car, climbing up onto the tailgate and dancing under the full moon's light, considering it her own spot light. She knew that all eyes were on her-in Westchester, which seemed to be going through a country phase with its local teenagers, this was the kind of thing that could drive a boy insane. After all, country wasn't a place on a map. Country was a way of life. It was simple and peaceful-happy and friendly. Country was blue jeans and a cowboy hat with some beer in a plastic cup and an imprompto party in the middle of nowhere. And Massie was loving that the stuck up and conceited people of Westchester were finally owning up to it and living it.

"Looking good," Derrick called to her as he walked back over. "Especially in what's left of those blue jeans," He winked, a devious smile on his face. Massie giggled as she hopped from the tailgate and crashed into him with a hug.

"Perv," She accused.

"Hey, if you're gonna wear shorts like that, you can't blame me for looking," He grinned, staring down at her long, bare legs and her ass that was just barely covered by the dark denim cut-off shorts that she'd made herself from an old pair of ruined Sevens jeans that were stained from a wrestling match with Derrick a few weeks ago.

"This is what it's all about...being young and everything, you know?" Massie smiled, leaning in closer to him.

"Even Alicia and Josh are happy," Derrick sighed.

"Yeah...Alicia really only had a few more months left to enjoy of that though," Massie sighed.

"It's true?" Derrick asked, looking down at her.

"Yup," Massie shook her head. "She's already almost two months along," Massie explained. "But hey-this is a party, so let's have some fun," Massie grinned, trying to brighten the mood.

* * *

><p><em>The best buzz I'm ever gonna find<br>I'm a little drunk on you-and high on summertime_  
><em>The best buzz I'm ever gonna find<br>__Well if you ain't a ten you're a 9.9  
><em>_Tipping and spillin that homemade wine on your tied up tshirt  
><em>_Every little kiss is driving me wild  
><em>_Throwing little cherry bombs into my life  
><em>_Good God almight_

Massie Block was the best buzz Derrick could wish for. No matter what he drank or how much...no matter what he did or how much of it-nothing could compare to the feeling Massie gave him. He was more than a little drunk on her, and a little high on the feeling of sprint time and just being a teenager. He wasn't going to be stupid like Josh and make a terrible mistake like he'd done. All he knew was that he was going to make sure Josh did the right thing here, because if he didn't, he'd hurt Alicia and that would hurt Massie.

"You're so beautiful," Derrick whispered as he kissed her. "You're a perfect ten,"

"Tens are only for special occasions," Massie muttered through their kiss.

"If you ain't a ten, you're a 9.9," Derrick whispered into her ear as he kissed a trail from her ear to the base of her neck. He was actually glad that Massie wasn't one of those crazy drunks who stumbled around, tipping things over and spilling their drinks on their tee shirts. Although, Derrick had to admit he would _love _to see the button down shirt Massie had tied right below her boobs dripping wet from something, just so he could see right through it. But, no, Massie was the kind of drunk who was up for anything-as long as it meant a hook up.

And Derrick knew it wasn't right when she was drunk, but every little kiss between them just drove him crazier and made him all the more ready to dive right into sex with her. She was the cherry bomb needed to make his fire an explosion. So, they;d slipped out of the party and into his car just a little early, driving away just a little, until they were in a place a little bit darker to shield themselves. And it just kept getting hotter and hotter.

"Can we stop this playing around?" Massie asked suddenly. "I want to fuck you, and I'm pretty sure I should be given what I want," She said boldly. God, she was so drunk.

She didn't wait for his answer, instead, she crawled onto of him and pushed him back against the bench seat of his truck, tearing his shirt of in an angry rush and unbuttoning his pants and taking them off as quickly as possible. And then she was giving him the best blow job he'd ever had. She was actually _deep throating_ him. Derrick groaned as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him, kissing her as she undressed herself. He'd never seen Massie like this before. Sure, they'd had sex before, but it had never been anything like this. It was always great, of course, but this...? This was a different side of Massie. And Derrick couldn't say he minded it.

"God almighty," He shouted as Massie slid back down and resumed her blow job. Maybe he should get her this drunk all the time.


	54. Chapter 54:Cyclone

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 54**

_Now look at that pepper on the back of that bumper  
>She ain't even playing when she's shaking that rumper<br>And oh you ain't know she get lower than a muffler  
>Even with her girlfriends sow stopping with a hustler<br>The way she move her body she might see the Maserati  
>She wanna put it on me tryna show me her tsunami <em>

Derrick Harrington sat on the steps outside of the school the following Monday with the rest of his friends, watching as groups of girls entered the school. They may all be taken-with the exception of Cam-but they were still guys, and they couldn't help but look sometimes. And, of course, they made the biggest scene when their own girls were entering. Cue, the PC's entrance.

Now, if nobody mentions what the girls were wearing today, the boys' reactions would just be perverted and silly. Kristen, having shed her mom approved wardrobe ages ago, was wearing a short little skirt in a navy blue plaid skirt with a white, off the shoulder, belly shirt and silver open toe pumps. Dylan was in in a hunter green, pencil mini skirt with a chocolate brown v-neck tee shirt and brown knee high boots. Alicia wore a pair of black leggings that hugged her perky butt to perfection, and a Ralph Lauren oversized button down, cinched at the waist with a golden belt that matched the heels she was wearing. And then there was Massie in a pair of cut off shorts, just a little bit longer than the ones she'd worn at the party, and a white Guess tee shirt with the brand studded in purple studs across her chest. She'd paired it with her favorite cowboy boots and that made up the PC.

"Look at Alicia's ass...no-wait..don't. It's all mine...wait, never mind-go ahead, because if you don't look you can't be jealous that I've got a girl like that," Josh bragged. He knew that soon Alicia would be showing, and he wanted everyone to be aware that she was sexy, before the comments began. He didn't want her to be taunted for the weight she'd start to put on. So he wanted her to know-as well as everybody else-that he thought she was the sexiest girl in all of the Pretty Committee.

"Kris isn't even fair...she's playing some kind of sick, twisted game-and she's winning," Kemp complained. "I mean, look at how she shakes her hips when she walks...it just forces me to stare and check her out!" He whined. Kemp didn't want to be a perv anymore. After his conversation with Kristen about how she felt about how he acted, he'd been trying to change. But sometimes she just made it so damn hard on him.

"Dylan's just plain old sexy-and it sucks, because she's so _good _in bed, but I can barely ever get her there," Plovert shook his head. "I mean, she gets lower than-nevermind," He blushed.

"Dude, she gives you a _lap dance _before you do it? Every time?" Kemp turned to Plovert, slightly envious.

"Yeah," Plovert shook his head, turning red in embarrassment.

"Lucky," Kemp glared.

The PC attracted looks from every single guy in the school, but the Briarwood boys had the best reactions.

"You should see Massie in bed...god, the way she moves her body? I don't know where she learned how to do that-and I personally don't think I want to know-but I'm grateful she did. And she loved to give it to me." Derrick bragged.

"How do you get her to go whenever you want?" Plovert asked Derrick. Plovert thought of Derrick as some sort of god and he worshipped his every move.

"It's easy-you get her drunk. Saturday night? After the party? That was all we did...and it went well into Sunday," Derrick smirked. He felt a little sick saying that aloud, but hey-he needed to make sure these boys knew who was in charge.

* * *

><p><em>She make it hard to copy-always tight and never sloppy<br>And got her entourage and her own paparazzi  
>Now there she go again, riding through the stormy weather<br>You better button up if you wanna go get her  
>Cause it is what is is-everybody wanna love her<br>But when she pop it, boy you better run for cover_

__"So, Kemp-how's Kristen in bed? You never tell us about her," Derrick asked, trying to get the attention away from himself. He wasn't sure if his friends were amazed by his story, or disgusted by his confession.

Kemp froze for a second, thinking of what to say. He'd never actually slept with Kristen, but could he tell his friends that? Hell no! So, he had to lie.

"It's hard to copy her, that's for sure. Nobody's like her...and it's a little hard to explain. She's tight-and she's never sloppy, of course, or you know she'd be out on the curve," Kemp started, speaking low until the Pretty Committee was completely out of sight so he could make sure they couldn't hear him. Everybody was watching them, because they were the stars of BOCD. Of course, they were all saying something negative about them as well. He watched as Kristen walked away, ignoring everybody's comments that were trying to get her down. That was what he loved about her. "You know, just the usual sexy girl stuff," Kemp finished lamely. He couldn't lie about her anymore.

"Well, if you wanna get with Dylan, you better be prepared for a bumpy ride. I mean, it is what it is, right? Everybody wants her, but when you finally get her, you wish you didn't. Because she doesn't give it away easy. Of course, I love her-I'm an exception," Plovert rushed to add on the ending. He'd been voicing his real thoughts, but he realized how awful they sounded as soon as the words had left his mouth and entered the air for everyone to heart.

"Dude! That's how it is with Alicia!" Josh blurted. The two boys shared a smile and a high five.

"Massie's that way too, I guess," Derrick began slowly. "Although, you just sort of run for cover when you get her, because she's an animal...but, you know...you'd never want to give her up after you got a taste," Derrick shrugged.

"That's how I feel about Kris," Kemp lied right through his teeth. The lies were coming a little easier now. "She makes me want to do it all night long,"

"And we're going hard until the sun comes up. It's like a work out, trying to please Dylan," Plovert said quickly. This was a lie. But nobody else had to know that.

"Alicia doesn't play games...she gets those heads turning and she knows it. She practically breaks necks, and she knows that too. So I give her what she wants-not that it bothers me, of course," Josh smirked.

"Massie's like a cyclone," Derrick said.

"I can't believe you guys," Cam said in disgust. He'd been sitting here listening to his friends lie about their girls-the girls they supposedly loved-and make them out to be sluts. It sickened Cam. "Alicia's got looks. Kristen's got an ass. Dylan's got hips and curves. And Massie's got class," He snapped. "They're amazing and you guys are only focused on what you're getting from them and sex? That's disgusting," He shook his head and stormed off.

"What's his problem?" Kemp asked.

"Maybe it's his time of the month?" Josh snickered.

"Something's gotten into Cam," Plovert sighed.

"Maybe he's about to finally come out of the closet," Derrick smirked.


	55. Chapter 55:Everybody Talks

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 55  
>AN: Um, I got a really confusing review regarding Alicia and the baby, and I'm so unsure of what it says. The reviewer doesn't have an account, but if they wanted to try to explain better in another review, I would love to fully understand their thoughts. Thanks!**

_Hey baby, what you got to say?  
>All you're giving me is fiction<br>I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time  
>I find out that<br>Everybody talks-everybody talks-everybody talks  
>It started with a whisper<br>_

Cam Fisher sighed, knowing full well that Derrick was going to murder him if he ever found out what he was about to do. But he couldn't help it. Massie Block was his best friend and like a sister to him. It just wasn't right to keep what he'd heard from her and her friends. So, he had to tell her. He sent her a quick text, because even though he knew he was right, he wasn't exactly brave enough to do this all on his own.

**Cam: Hey, Mass-give me a call. I need 2 tell u something**

His phone went off immediately after that and he picked up on the first ring.

"Hey babe," She said brightly. "Whatcha gotta say?"

_Come on Cam-tell her now. All any of those guys said was a total lie. But...what if it wasn't? What if they weren't just trying to show off for one another? No, it had to have been total bull shit. There was no way any of those girls would do something like that. They were just making up stories-all fictional.  
><em>

"Derrick and the guys were talking about you and the girls today..."He began softly. "And I feel like a total idiot, because I just sat there and let it go on for a while, but I'm sorry, Mass...but-god, they do this all the time," Cam babbled on.

"Cam? What's going on?" She asked.

"They were talking about you and Leesh and Kris and Dyl and about how you guys are in bed and how sexy you are and making up all this shit, trying to one up the other one," Cam said.

"What did they say?" She swallowed.

"Plovert said Dylan was the kind of girl a guy only wanted for sex. Kemp was saying how Kristen was the best sex he's ever had. Josh said Alicia's a slut who only ever wants to have sex...and Derrick," Cam sighed. "Well...Derrick...he said..."He couldn't say it, because the sad part was, this was the truth. He could see it in Derrick's eyes. He actually did this to Massie. "I couldn't believe it when I found out-I didn't want to. But the thing is, this was the one true thing they said the entire time," Cam said.

"What did Derrick say?" Massie asked.

"He said he gets your drunk so you'll have sex with him and that you're amazing in bed, especially when you're drunk," Cam whispered.

"Well," Massie said and Cam couldn't tell if she was that calm-angry she was sometimes or just calm. "Everybody talks," She said and hung up.

* * *

><p><em>All this trash talk makes me itching oh-my my shit<br>Everybody talks-everybody talks-everybody talks  
>It started with a whisper and that was when I kissed her<br>And then she made my lips hurt-I can hear the chit-chat  
>Take me to your love shack-mama's always got a back track<br>When everybody talks back_

"HE SAID WHAT?" Kristen screamed in outrage. "I've never even had sex with him!"

"I can't believe he thinks that," Dylan whispered softly. "We barely ever have sex, anyways."

"_I'm _the one who wants sex?" Alicia cried out indignantly. "He practically _rapes _me half the time."

"I know girls-they suck. We all agreed on that ages ago. So, let's move on, okay?" Massie said, trying to calm her friends down. Sometimes it was easier to just tell them a plan without explaining her reasoning behind it. But with Dylan's love struck phase when it came to Plovert and Kristen's blinders on when it came to Kemp, that was close to impossible-especially when Alicia was so dependent on Josh right now. "God, their trash talk makes me _sick. _I can't believe they'd say that bull shit," Massie shook her head as she paced her room, speaking to her friends over the phone. "They pretty much called us skanky hos," Massie wrinkled her nose in disgust as she studied her reflection in the mirror. "I mean, everybody talks, but this is ridiculous. Everybody spread rumors every now and then, but you don't do this," Massie said.

"It started with a whisper," Kristen said suddenly. "When we walked by this morning, Kemp was talking to them about something and he was all quiet and all when he said it," She said slowly.

"And that jerk kissed me after wards? I thought I was only good for sex," Dylan said and Massie knew she was rolling her eyes.

"Josh's kissed make my lips hurt, but when do I ever complain?" Alicia said bitterly.

"We could _hear _what they were saying and we did nothing!" Kristen said in disbelief.

"Well, girls, there's really only one thing left to do," Massie said brightly, an evil smile taking over her face.

"Break up with their sorry asses?" Dylan asked.

"Cut them off?" Alicia wondered.

"Confront them and humilate them?" Kristen asked.

"We're going to take them to our love shack," Massie said wickedly. She heard her friends gasp and rolled her eyes. "Don't worry girls-Massie's always got a plan," She assured them. "Especially when everybody's going to talk about us," She guaranteed. "So, if they think we're a bunch of skanky whores, we'll give them just that," She smirked as she hung up.


	56. Chapter 56:Gunpowder and Lead

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 56  
><em>AN: Reviews would be awesome, since they totally stopped..._**

_Slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll  
>Don't that sound like a real man?<br>I'm gonna show him what a little girl's made of  
>Gunpowder and lead<br>Well it's half past ten-another six pack in  
>I can feel the rumble like the cold black wind<em>

Josh Hotz had beat Alicia too many times-and she'd forgiven him every time. He'd slapped her, punched her, pushed her, and made her feel like she was nothing. He shook her up and tossed her around like she was nothing more than a rag doll. Yeah, Josh Hotz was a real man alright. Now he was going around and saying shit about how she was a slut? Well not this time. Massie's plan may be to give the boys exactly what they'd described, but Alicia was going to go and show Josh exactly what a little girl could do. She wasn't made of sugar, spice and everything nice. No, she was made of gunpowder and lead. Poison and violence. Hatred and death. Nobody was going to push her around anymore. She refused to allow it. Instead, she was going to fight back. She would reach in and grab her inner Massie Block-she'd stand up for herself.

It was half past ten and Alicia knew from the second she entered Josh's room that he'd been drinking. She spotted the six pack-all empty-sitting on his dresser as he sat there in bed, watching some stupid Yankees game that was more important to him than Alicia. Alicia could feel the fight-she knew it was going to get violent. The smart thing to do would be to leave and enter the dark night once more, ignoring the wind taunting her and calling her a chicken. But he noticed her right as she was about to turn and his face instantly brightened as he jumped to his feet and walked towards her. He was wearing a pair of boxers-that was it-and as soon as he spotted Alicia, she could see just how much he wanted her at that moment. Most of it was due to his drunkness, of course. Unfortunately for Josh, he didn't know what he was in for tonight.

"Alicia!" He said, reaching out to hug her. She slapped in right across the face.

"You _ass," _She said, preparing to hit him again. He grabbed her wrist, twisting it hard as he glared at her, expression hardening.

"Don't you hit me," he snarled. "_You _do _not _hit _me,"_He said darkly.

"No, correction-_you _don't hit _me,"_She said boldly.

"Shut up, bitch," He said, spitting the word out at her and pushing her to the ground.

"HEY!" She protested, hugging her stomach. He wasn't just hurting her anymore. He was endangering their baby. "I hate you," She spat, standing up and turning around. "And this time? I'm not playing nice. I'm going to report you. I'm going to get even and get as far away from you as possible," She glared as she hurried from his house.

"Nobody's going to believe you-you psycho little slut," He called after her.

Oh, Josh...

_You haven't seen crazy yet..._

* * *

><p><em>His fist is big, but my gun's bigger<br>He'll find out when I pull the trigger  
><em>_I'm going home, gonna load my shot gun  
>Wait by the door and light a cigarette<br>He wants a fight, well now he's got one  
>And he ain't seen me crazy yet<em>

Massie Block crossed her arms as she waited for Derrick to answer his phone. Her plan had really been pointless-she knew none of the girls would follow her, but she needed a plan, and for the first time in her life, she didn't have one. She was actually a little afraid to give the girls advice regarding the boys, especially after what Josh had done to Alicia. She doubted the other boys would do the same, but they were much bigger-much stronger-and a lot meaner than the girls. But, soon he'd find out that Massie was a lot smarter and a much better fighter than he was. He'd know as soon as he picked up the dang phone. Massie was just waiting for her chance to attack-her words were all carefully planned out and her actions were just as well planned as her words were. She was just waiting for Derrick to answer the phone so she could attack.

He wanted a fight. He clearly wanted a fight. And she was going to give him one. He hadn't seen the crazy side of Massie yet. Well, he was about to.

She tossed her phone aside as his voice mail picked up once more. She grabbed a jacket and stuffed her phone in her pocket. Then she got up and exited her house, getting into her car and speeding down the back roads towards his house. There was nobody out at this hour except for her. Derrick had exactly two miles to before his life was about to end. Massie could do that in an instant.

Massie was right-she was always right, of course-and she was going to curse Derrick straight to hell. That was where he belonged. You didn't do something like that to a girl you loved. That was a date rape and that wasn't cool. Massie could put up with a lot of shit, but she couldn't deal with _this. _

Suddenly her phone was going off. She reached into her pocket and checked the text message.

**Alicia: Josh just pushed me down...I think he hurt the baby**

****Massie glared, quickly typing a response to Alicia. But, for once she lost focus and looked down while texting. And that was when her car was crashed into and pushed right off of the road, flipping over repeatedly until it landed right in the ditch-luckily on the passenger's side. Unfortunately, Massie was already blacked out.


	57. Chapter 57:Your Daddy's Son

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 57**

_Daddy played piano-played it very well  
>Music from those hands could catch you like a spell<br>He could make you love him 'fore the tune was done  
>You have your daddy's hands<br>You are your daddy's son  
>Oh, Daddy never knew that you were on your way<em>

Alicia Rivera waited for Massie's response to her text message, sitting in a ball on her bed,eyes rimmed with red and mascara streaking her cheeks. She looked like a mess, and all she could think about what Josh.

_Oh, who am I kidding? Massie's probably asleep! _

She needed to do something. She needed to talk to somebody, but she didn't have anybody. She sighed as she reached for her English notebook and a pen, flipping to a clean page. She started to write, as if composing a letter to her baby-the same baby that she wasn't sure she would ever get to meet, after what Josh had done.

_Daddy was a sweet talker. His voice was like velvet-it just pulled you right in. A simple word from his mouth would drag you into a conversation with him-and that was when the trouble began. You'd fall in love with him before your first meeting was over. He didn't have to finish a pick-up line and you were hooked. All you wanted was him. And you might think that only stupid, silly, naive girls fall for such foolish things, but I fell for it. You'll have your daddy's voice...you are your daddy's child. _

Alicia paused for a moment, staring up at nothing at all. She wished she'd never told Josh about the baby. No, that was a lie. If Josh had never known what was going on, he would have resumed beating her from the very beginning of their relationship. Alicia wouldn't have had those few weeks of peace and security when it came to him. And besides, Josh had other ladies-other lines to throw around. He had other empty promises to break. He would have up and left her if he hadn't known. Josh may be a cruel, evil, vile wife-beater, but he was still a gentleman when it came to certain things. He would never leave Alicia as long as she was pregnant with his child, unless she'd been the one to request it. And if Josh had left her, she wouldn't have known what to do. She probably would have run away. And that wouldn't have been good for either herself or the baby. Not that she'd done a wonderful job of protecting her unborn child.

Only one thing had run through her head since the doctor had confirmed her fears-she was having Josh Hotz's child, and nothing could change the fact that this kid would call that terrible man a father. Even now, in her darkest hour, she had to live with the fact that her child-if Josh hadn't killed it in his anger-was going to refer to Josh as 'daddy'. It made Alicia sick. If he could abuse Alicia, what was stopping him fro hitting an adorable, sweet little baby who bothered him?

She sighed as she waited for a response from Massie-still, there was nothing. She tossed her notebook aside and tried to get some sleep. Of course, that would only prove to be impossible.

* * *

><p><em>Couldn't hear no music, couldn't see no light<br>Mama-she was frightened, crazy from the fight  
>Tears without no comfort<br>Screams without no sound  
>Only darkness and pain<br>__The anger and pain-the blood and the pain_

All of Alicia's dreams that night were nightmares-short and to the point. They lacked color. They were dark and terrifying. They blocked out anything as happy and peaceful as music or sunlight or color at all. Alicia repeatedly woke up, drenched in a cold sweat, frightened. She was going crazy, all because of that awful fight with Josh. He was a terrible person. he didn't deserve to have her, and he didn't deserve to have a child with her-a life, a future...anything involving Alicia should be blocked from him. Her tears were answered without any form of comfort to return to her. She was left to cry on her own, in the darkness with nobody to help her. Massie wasn't answering her phone and Josh was the cause of her pain. If she screamed, she was sure there would be no sound-nobody would hear it, so how could there be a sound?

All Alicia had was the darkness and the pain. Her own anger and the pain. The blood of her child and the pain. All because of Josh. She hated herself for letting this happen to her. She reached for the notebook and resumed to write, not sure of what else she could do.

_Daddy was a sweet talker...a player of the worst kind. He had looks to match his abilities to charm a girl into anything. I bet he's still doing that today. I doubt he'd be able to stop. He never was one for will power. He like his girls, that one was for sure. Mama...well, I just can't forget him. I doubt I ever will. I mean, he was perfect after all-except for the anger. Oh, please, I pray you aren't given the same anger as he had. Of course, I'll never know, after what he's done now. I buried my heart in the ground...right in the ground, as I bid my final good bye to you. I hate that I'll never get to hold you, and I hate that this is all his fault. But, still-well, God doesn't want any excuses. But I have just the one-you are your daddy's son, no matter what happens. I'm sorry about that-_

__She dropped her pen as her phone went off and picked it up, staring at the name in confusion.

Derrick Harrington

"Hello?" She frowned as she answered.

"Leesh, oh thank god you answered," He was crying.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Massie's in the hospital...she got into a car accident...I just...I can't drive like this, but I need to see her and you were the first person I could think of," he said.

"Okay, calm down, alright? I'll...I'll be there soon," Alicia said, taking a few deep breaths. She needed to be strong right now. Derrick needed her-and Massie was hurt. All of her anger and fears and pain needed to be set aside, because her friends needed her and that was all that mattered to her.


	58. Chapter 58:Wanted

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 58  
><em>AN; That last chapter was based on Your Daddy's Son-a song from the musical Ragtime. One of my friends is doing it for this solo thing we have at school and I just LOVE the song, and I made it work. Just thought that was a fun fact to know. _  
><strong>

_You know I'd fall apart without you  
>I don't know how you do what you do<br>Cause everything that don't make sense about me  
>Makes sense when I'm with you<br>Like everything that's green, girl i need you  
>But it's more than one and one makes two<em>

__Derrick Harrington was glad that he'd had the sense to bring Alicia with him to the hospital, because if he hadn't had her to calm him down, he would have punched the doctor for the nonsense words he was saying. Derrick could barely comprehend much of what the doctor was telling him, but he understood the main concepts.

"What do you mean-_if _she wakes up? How long are you giving her?" Derrick asked softly, trying to keep his breaths even.

"Comatose patients are usually given a few weeks, depending on the severity of their attack. Everything is up the parents, of course, since is still a minor," the doctor went on.

"What can we do to help?" Derrick asked helplessly.

The doctor sighed, as if he'd already explained this countless times before. "Nothing can be done. All you can do is talk to her-sometimes that helps, if they can hear and understand you, of course," He said slowly before leaving the room.

"Do you want me to give you some time...alone?" Alicia asked Derrick softly as he sat back down, burying his head in his hands.

"Yeah...I'd like that, thank you," Derrick said softly, eyes locked on the sleeping girl in front of him.

As soon as Alicia left, he jumped to his feet and walked towards her, sitting on the side of her bed, taking her hand in his.

"Mass," He sighed. "What are you doing to me? Alicia told me you found out what I said, and I'm sorry for that-but please, don't go away just because of some stupid mistake I made. I'll die if I can't hold you anymore. I'm falling apart just knowing I can't hear your laugh. Please don't punish me like this," He whispered, his voice deep and hoarse, each word difficult for him to get out. He didn't know how one girl could have this effect on him, but she was capable of destroying his character, just by existing. "Massie, I only make sense when I'm with you. I don't work right without you, Block-I thought you knew that by now," He shook his head, fighting the tears that were threatening to break loose at any moment. "I need you the same way I need food and oxygen and water. Hell, I need you more than I need any of that. But it's not just the fact that you and I are a perfect pair. Alicia needs you too. And we both really need you to kick Josh's ass, because she's going to get herself checked out right now, because he hurt her again. And this time she's reporting him. But, Mass...think about what's going to happen to her if anything's wrong with that baby. God, Mass, can you you even imagine what she'll be like?" He knew he was ranting, but he somehow just knew that she could hear him. And anyways, he needed to tell her this, even if she couldn't really grasp what he was saying. He didn't have the courage when she could respond, but when he was on the verge of losing her, he could let it all out.

* * *

><p><em>Put aside the math and the logic of it<br>You gotta know you want it too  
>Cause I wanna wrap you up<br>Wanna kiss your lips  
>I wanna make you feel wanted<br>And I wanna call you mine_

Cam Fisher didn't care that it didn't make any sense to want Claire back. He understood that there was absolutely no logic behind his desperate desire to be able to freely and openly love Claire again. He knew it was just an empty crush that would end up in heart break. The thing was, he just didn't care. And Claire had to know that she wanted him too. There was no way she could actually believe her foolish motions that she didn't want him back because it was easier. Nobody could possibly choose heart break over true love and happiness. That made no sense, and not in the good way.

So, Cam sat at his computer, typing Claire a nice, long email about how he really felt and how he needed her back. He didn't even think about it when he clicked SEND.

**C,  
>I want to be able to wrap you in my arms and hold you close. I want to be able to cuddle with you while we watch movies that I'll never admit to actually watching when we talk to my friends. I want to put my arm around you while we're at school and hold your hand when we walk around. It's not that much to ask for, is it? I don't think so-not when I love you so much and I know you love me too. I want to kiss your lips-your cheek, your neck-all of you. I want to kiss you every second of every moment of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year. Because that's what you deserve. You shouldn't be left to settle for anything less. I want to make you feel wanted, because you are wanted. Not just by me-but I'm the only one who deserves you and wants you for your mind and your personality, as well as your looks. Can you just stop playing pretend for a little bit and let me call you mine? Give me one chance-one date-and if at the end of that night you can honestly look me in the eyes and say you don't love me anymore, I'll leave you alone and stop this nonsense. Please, Claire-give me one more chance. <strong>

****It didn't take long before he got a response.

**No**

****That one word, two letters, broke his heart right in two.

* * *

><p><em>Wanna hold your hand forever-never let you forget it<br>Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted  
>Anyone can tell you you're pretty<br>You get that all the time-I know you do  
>But your beauty's deeper than the make-up<br>And I wanna show you what I see tonight_

__"Derrick, come on-you've been here for hours. At least go get something to eat," Alicia whispered softly, placing her hand on his shoulder and giving him a gentle shake to try and wake him up.

"I can't leave," He shook his head. "I need to hold her hand. I want to hold onto her as long as I can-forever, if possible," he explained.

"Why? Derrick...she's not awake. She probably doesn't even know what's going on," Alicia whispered.

"I'm afraid she's going to forget me. If she's in a coma she could have had a concussion and that means she might have forgotten about me. Holding onto her and being here makes me feel a lot more secure that she won't be able to, alright?" He said, turning to her. Alicia saw the tears in her eyes, and for the first time in years, she was jealous of Massie Block.

Massie had a boyfriend who just wanted her to feel loved and needed and wanted. She had a boyfriend who truly loved her and thought the world of her. All Alicia had was an abusive guy that she was madly in love with, and a baby that she'd just given a miscarriage too, all because of said jerk.

"Massie would kill you if she knew you were looking at her like this," Alicia said suddenly, staring at her best friend with the bruises covering her exposed skin and her face. Her hair was a rat's nest and frizzier than Alicia had ever seen it in her life. Her make-up was smudged and staining her face. Yet, she still looked beautiful.

"She's gorgeous," Derrick whispered. "Anybody can tell her she's pretty though-she's so conceited about that fact, did you know that?" Derrick asked Alicia. "Yeah, Mass, you hear that you're pretty all the time-I know you do, because I hear the guys at school say that to you all the time-that and a lot of other stuff that makes me want to punch them. Not because they're saying it to you, but because it's wrong. You're so much better than they describe you," Derrick said, turning his attention back to the sleeping girl.

Alicia sighed. Derrick saw Massie for who she was-a beauty that went behind all the make-up she wore. Alicia had Josh, who wanted a fake, overly made up slut to give him whatever he wanted.

"Massie, please wake up...please," Derrick whispered. _Tonight I'm telling you exactly what I think of you, Block. You better be listening, 'cause it's never happening again, _he thought to himself.

* * *

><p><em>As good as you make me feel<br>I wanna make you feel better  
>Better than your fairytales<br>Better than your best dreams  
>You're more than everything I need<br>You're all I ever wanted_

__Alicia was sitting in the waiting room, having lost her pointless battle with Derrick about leaving Massie's room, when her phone went off and she saw the text message from Josh. She sighed, knowing she should ignore it, but opening it anyways.

**Josh: I'm sorry**

****That was it-just a simple sorry? No, Alicia wouldn't have it. She ignored the message and sat there alone, in silence, until her phone went off again-a phone call this time.

"What?" Alicia hissed as she answered.

"Leesh, you make me feel so good-you're all I ever wanted, and I want to make you feel better than you make me feel. I know I was a jerk, but I get so angry sometimes and I take it out on you, but I'm going to get help. I promise-we'll be a family, I swear," He said in a rush.

"Too late-you killed the baby," Alicia said flatly. "And I'm done with you," She said simply, hanging up on him and powering off her phone.

Alicia wanted a love that was better than anything she'd ever read about in a fairy tale. She wanted something that even her wildest dreams couldn't have imagined. And she'd assumed Josh would give her that, with his heroic looks and princely ways. But it turned out that he was nothing more than a typical old-money type of guy. He didn't really know love-he looked for youth, looks, and a body. Alicia didn't deserve that. She was an easy victim for him, but not anymore. He wasn't what she needed. And he wasn't what she wanted.

"Hey," Alicia looked up and smiled at the gorgeous boy suddenly sitting next to her. He was strong, with a deep tan and bleached blonde hair. Mint green eyes stayed locked on Alicia and a crooked grin showed off two amazing dimples. He looked to be about two or three years older than Alicia. "I'm Cooper Evans," He smiled.

"Alicia Rivera," She grinned back.


	59. Chapter 59:Call Me Maybe

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 59**

_Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number  
>So call me maybe? It's hard to look right at you baby<br>But here's my number, so call me, maybe.  
>Hey, I just met you and this is crazy-but here's my number<br>So call me maybe-and all the other boys, try to chase me  
>But here's my number-so call me maybe<em>

Alicia Rivera was giggling, talking-_flirting-_with Cooper Evans, the insanely hot boy she'd just met. He was funny, sweet, smart, and the kind of guy Alicia just knew they would look perfect with. She debated taking his hand and writing her number on it, wondering if that was a smart move. She didn't want to come across as too easy. Was it crazy to give a boy she'd just met her number? Maybe...but she _so _wanted him to call her. She actually wanted to be able to be his girlfriend. She wanted them to be a _something. _

She shook her head, looking anywhere but at Cooper. He was much to attractive to stare directly at. He was like the sun-blinding. She so just wanted to hand him a little slip of paper with her number on it, giving him a coy little wink and a flirty little smile before getting up and walking back to Massie's room to check up on her and make sure Derrick was still alright and not completely insane yet. Although, if he was, perhaps he and Alicia could get a comfy little padded room together, since they were both crazy. It had to be crazy to give your number to a strange boy you'd just met. Especially when they'd met in a hospital, late at night. He didn't even seem to have anybody to be visiting at the moment, which made it even stranger.

Alicia had a lot of boys chasing after her, but this was the first time she'd ever felt so insecure around a boy. She was actually getting the feeling that he wasn't as into her as she was into him, but that couldn't be. After all, she was Alicia Rivera, the sexiest Spanish beauty in all of Westchester, wasn't she? Every single boy at BOCD wanted a chance with her. So why should this strange Cooper boy be any different? Sure, he was mysterious and sexy in a dark kind of way, but when did being a vampire-like teenager make you an exception to a hot girl's effect?

She sighed as she sat there, barely listening to what he was saying. Cooper happened to be everything she'd ever wished for but never dared to dream about aloud. If somebody had asked her what her type was, she never would have said anything that described Cooper, because that was what she was like. But, with a simple glance at Cooper after a heartbreak, he'd entered her world and it was as if her heart had always had room for him.

Alicia would trade her soul to get what she wanted. Pennies, dimes, nickels, quarters-yes, those were the cost of getting all of her wishes when it came to Cooper. A kiss...something that simple was all she needed. Alicia hadn't started the night looking for this, but now she'd found it and she couldn't get out of this mess.

His stare was locked on her own and his ripped jeans, with the exposed patches of skin, seemed to turn Alicia on in a way she'd never thought distressed denim could.

"You wanna do something hot...crazy? Fun?" He asked, standing up and grabbing his jacket.

"Yeah," Alicia smiled, standing up with him and following him from the hospital, knowing she was doing something total stupid. She tried to fight with her hair as the wind blew it around. Oh, she had no clue what she was in for.

* * *

><p><em>You took your time with the call<br>I took no time with the fall  
>You gave me nothing at all<br>But, still, you're in my way  
>I beg and borrow and steal<br>At fight sight and it's real _

__Alicia woke up the next morning, shocked at what she had done. How could she have been so _stupid? _She'd slept with some boy she barely knew. The only thing she'd done that was even close to smart was slipping him her number right on his wrist, informing him to call her if he ever thought they were going to be more. Yes, she'd clearly taken no time at all with this fall, and he wasn't calling her. He wasn't giving her anything from his end of things and it killed her. And he was in her way, destroying her life, because he was all she could think about.

She could beg and plead with him, trying to get him to call her and give her a shot out of pity, but she didn't want to be the girl a guy went with because he felt sorry for her.

She could try to borrow a little of Massie's boldness, Dylan's humor, and Kristen's tom-boy-ness, but then he wouldn't be in love with her. He'd be falling for a combination of her friends, in which she had no part of and no rights to try to mix with her own character.

She could try and steal his heart as well, but she'd fallen for him at first sight and her feelings were real. If she stole his affections, there was no guarantee that what he felt was real. It would have been because of a trick or a scheme. And Alicia wasn't sure if she was okay with that.

Not that it mattered, because he wasn't calling her-and she didn't have his number to try and talk to him. Sometimes, Alicia did really stupid things.


	60. Chapter 60:Broken Hearted

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 50**

_This is more than a typical kinda thing  
>Felt the jones in my bones when you were touching me<br>Didn't want to take it slow  
>In the days, going crazed, I can barely think<br>You're replaying in my brain, find it hard to sleep  
>Waiting for my phone to blow<em>

Alicia Rivera sighed as she tossed and turned in her bed that night. She'd stayed home all day, rather than going to pay Massie a visit, because she'd been terrified that Cooper might try and call her when her phone was off. She could still feel the tingly feelings all over her body that he'd given her every time he'd touched her. Alicia was a careful, proper, thoughtful girl-but Cooper didn't seem to want to take it slow, and Alicia wasn't exactly in a position to argue. He spoke to her as if he actually cared about her. He acted like he just _got _her. And he actually seemed to love her, which, to Alicia, was the best quality a boy could have.

_Ugh, what's wrong with me? This isn't supposed to happen to me..._She thought as she rolled over and punched her pillow. She was going insane and she was barely capable of stringing together whole, complete thoughts. Cooper's face was all she could see. She couldn't get his voice out of her head. And every time she tried to stop thinking about him, she got an instant replay of the night before. All of this made it impossible for her to sleep, which was needed for a stressed out girl. Alicia didn't do well with bags under her eyes and dark circles just didn't work for her. She couldn't have dull, lifeless hair and a hoarse voice because of lack of sleep due to some guy. It just wasn't Alicia.

And all she could do was sit around and think of Cooper while she waited for her phone to ring. It wasn't like she wanted some kind text-bomb from him where he apologized a million times over for his lack of contact. She didn't want him to call her repeatedly throughout the day. But Alicia _had _given in and had sex with him. Some kind of recoginition wouldn't be that bad. Alicia only thought it was fair. Alicia didn't like the whole 'guy time' thing that Dylan seemed to go by and she hated Kristen's understanding way when they didn't call when they said they would. She wanted to punch Claire when she was the first to try and get contact.

Only Massie and Alicia understood. If a guy wasn't calling you right away, it typically meant that he didn't really like you. Nine times out of a ten, he was a jerk and a liar. Every single word he'd said was just a line that he'd carefully tossed out, knowing exactly what it would take to get what he wanted. And usually Alicia was just like Massie, always quick to figure out which guys would be like that. She never fell into one of their little traps. Even Josh hadn't been able to fool her. But, somehow, she'd managed to fall until Cooper's spell and she'd ended up sitting there in her bedroom all day, waiting for her phone to go off with some kind of message from Cooper.

* * *

><p><em>Now I'm here in a sticky situation<br>Got a little trouble-yup, and now I'm pacing  
>Five minutes...ten minutes...now it's been an hour<br>Don't wanna think too hard, but I'm sour  
>Oh-oh, I can't seem to let you go<br>See I've been waiting all day for you to call me baby_

Alicia sighed as she threw her covers back and climbed out of bed, trying to figure out how she could have gotten so attached to a boy after only a few hours. It just didn't make sense. This was the worst situation for a girl like Alicia. She never should have played the easy, slutty type of girl. It had somehow gotten into her brain and taken over her judgment when it came to boys. Now she was in trouble, because she was stuck going after the next hottest guy. And now she was pacing. Of course, that just fit in perfectly.

She watched as the clock ticked by as she paced around her room. She paced for an entire hour, but there was still no call from Cooper.

She no longer cared if he called her because he liked her. Actually, she no longer wanted to think about what they could have had. That would just hurt too much. Besides, she was angry now. She was ready to scream and yell and attack as soon as her phone rang with his name filling up the screen. But...still, she was sure he'd be able to sweet talk his way back into her heart, when and if he ever called. Because as angry as she was, she couldn't seem to let go of her desperate desire to be with a guy who made her feel so beautiful and so loved-and who was the exact opposite of Josh. Besides, this guy was in _college. And _he was in a band. How hot was that? How mature was that? How perfect was that?

Okay, so she wanted to make Josh jealous-so what? Jealousy is a natural, human emotion that everybody has to feel at some point in life. Why should Josh be an exception to the rule? Yeah, didn't think so.

Alicia sighed as she got back into bed, staring at her cell phone's blank screen. Nobody was calling. Nobody was texting. Nobody cared. Especially not Cooper.

She sighed, ready to give up, and placed her phone on her night stand. And that's when the phone went off. She grabbed it instantly, not even bothering to check the caller ID. After all, who else could be calling her?

"I've been waiting all day for you to call, baby," She whispered in a low, sexy voice. She closed her eyes, ready to enjoy whatever Cooper's beautiful voice was about to say.

"Alicia?" Her eyes snapped open. That wasn't Cooper-that was _Josh. _"Are you drunk?" He asked.


	61. Chapter 61:So Sick

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 61  
><em>AN: For the first time-I'm putting 2 songs in one chapter. But, they're technically the same song. That old Neyo song happens to have a female version and I'm combining them for this chapter. _  
><strong>

_Gotta change my answer machine now that I'm alone  
>Cause right now it says that we can't come to the phone<br>And I know it makes no sense, since you walked out that door  
>But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore<br>It's ridiculous-it's been months and for some reason I just can't  
>Get over us-and I'm stronger than this<em>

"Josh?" Alicia squeaked, her voice raising a few octaves.

"Yeah...but, Leesh, please don't hang up. I want to talk, okay? I was a jerk before, but I promise you, I'll do whatever it takes to get you back," Josh Hotz said as quickly as he could. He honestly meant what he was saying.

He hadn't changed his voicemail message-it still was him and Alicia talking, informing the world that _they _couldn't get to the phone. Josh was alone now, but he still held onto that anything that connected him to Alicia. He knew he should probably change it, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Just like he couldn't stop calling her, knowing it would go straight to voicemail. He needed some way to hear her voice, even if it was as stupid as a pre-set message.

It didn't make sense to hang onto Alicia, because he'd deserved being dumped and he didn't deserve to get her back. The hard thing to think about was that he honestly did love Alicia. He didn't want to be just another boy that was no longer with her. He didn't want to be that guy who was stupid enough to let her get away. Alicia had walked out on him, giving up on their love, and he knew she wasn't coming back. Still, he kept on trying.

It was ridiculous of course, because it had been ages, but he couldn't seem to get over her. He was like that stupid Jesse kid from Glee-that show Alicia made him watch with her every Tuesday night. No matter how long Jesse stayed away, he was always in love with Rachel Berry, and he'd always do anything for her. That's what Josh was like. He couldn't bring himself to get over their relationship, and it killed him inside, because he knew he was stronger than that.

Enough was enough. He couldn't walk around all depressed anymore. He refused to give up without a fair fight, of course, but he was only trying this one last time. He wasn't going to walk around with his head held down. He wasn't going to be sad or blue any longer. There was no more crying over Alicia. No more tears were allowed to be shed on Alicia Rivera and their failed relationship.

"Alicia, I broke my iPod," Josh said. He needed to keep her on the phone.

"What's that got to do with me?" Alicia asked.

"I broke it because I'm just so _sick _of listening to love songs. Every song reminds me of you, and it kills me. I'm tired of drowning in my tears and falling asleep knowing that I'm going to wake up miserable because the dream I just had involved me somehow getting you back. I'm done with wishing that you were still here. And by here, I mean in my arms. I mean, I'm over wishing that I could get you back," He said. "I'm so sick and tired of those sad, slow songs that are just meant to depress you." He finished.

"Then stop trying to get me back and move on!" Alicia said angrily.

"I can't!" Josh snapped. "I've tried and I've tried, and it doesn't work. I can't bring myself to turn off the radio," he shook his head.

* * *

><p><em>Gotta fix that calendar I have-it's not July 16th 'cause it seems like you forgot-that was our anniversary<br>When I heard your song it made it hard to erase your memory-now when I hear your song, I know it's meant for me  
>I can't believe that your so sick of love songs,so tired of tears-you said you loved me, why ain't you here?<br>I'm so sick of love songs, so sad and slow-but I just can't turn off the radio  
>Now that I'm gone-I wanna be left alone...and every time I see your smile-it's looking at our child<br>You should know...why can't you move on?_

Alicia Rivera looked at her calendar as Josh went on talking.

_Well, _she thought, _Guess I should change that. _

Their anniversary was written in red, circled with a large heart. Of course, Josh had clearly forgotten about that-constantly. He'd never remembered a single anniversary. He never knew that that was the date they'd first fallen in love and made it official, back in eighth grade. He never made the connection that both of their hook-ups were on the same date, just different months and different years, because he didn't remember.

"I keep hearing you run your mouth, and it's just making it harder for me to forget about you. I was so close to erasing your memory from my mind, and now you're ruining everything I worked for," Alicia cut him off, not even sure of what he'd just been saying. It didn't matter. Her rudeness didn't matter after what he'd put her through during their relationship. It didn't even make them even. "The thing is, whenever I hear our song requested on my favorite radio station, or I hear somebody telling me a rumor about you that's totally not true, I know that it's all meant for me. And I know you're the one doing it, because you know how to get to me," She went on.

She couldn't believe that he was so sick of love songs, because he was constantly playing _Miss Independent, _an old Ne-yo song that he'd said reminded him of her. When that song wasn't playing, it was _Marry Me, _by the Train, which had been their song. Those sad and slow songs were a constant reminder to the both of them about their failed relationship and all the pain they'd been through together.

"You keep saying that you love me..."Alicia whispered softly.

Yeah, he kept saying those magic words now that she was gone. He kept saying those words because he knew that she wasn't coming back-not without knowing for sure that he'd changed, and most likely not even then. She wanted to be left alone, but he wouldn't give her that.

"Alicia, can you take seeing me at school, knowing we ended this way?" Josh cut her off.

"Of course not. I hate seeing your smile, but-"

"Alicia, every day, you're going to see that smile, because of our kid. And that's going to-"

"I had a miscarriage," Alicia blurted. "You should know that," She said shortly. "It's your fault, too-you pushed me that day and..."She shook her head. "Whatever, it's alright. It's over and done with. But you need to move on" She said.

"I can't! I love you!" Josh said.

"You keep saying that, so why aren't you here?" She asked.

"How do you know I'm not?" He asked and Alicia heard the faint click. He'd hung up on her. Shortly after that, her balcony door opened slightly and in slipped Josh Hotz. And just seeing him made Alicia fall in love all over again.


	62. Chapter 62:I'm a Survivor

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 62**

_You think I'd crumble  
>You think I'd lay down and die<br>I'm a survivor  
>I'm not goin' give up<br>I'm not goin' stop  
>I'm goin' work harder <em>

Massie Block's eyes fluttered open slowly and she crinkled her nose as the monitor besides her beeped. She struggled to sit up as she glanced around the room, eyes locking on Derrick Harrington, who was settled in a chair right besides the bed she was sitting in. She glanced past him as she studied the room she was in. She wasn't sure where she was. She wasn't sure what was happening. And she absolutely had no idea what was going on with her head. It was pounding, and much worse than any headache or hangover she'd ever had before in her life. And then there was Derrick. The last thing she could remember about him was the fact that he was dating Dylan and she'd moved to London. Clearly she was back in Westchester. But everything else was confusing her.

"Are you alright? I thought you were going to die," Derrick whispered. Massie turned around and stared at him in confusion. What was happening right now? She frowned as she waited for somebody to explain what was happening.

"Did you think I'd crumble?" She asked, rolling her eyes. "Did you really think that _Massie Block _would just roll over and admit defeat?" She replied bitterly, trying to act as if she understood exactly what was happening in her life.

"Of course I didn't think you'd _chose _to give up," Derrick shook his head, his shaggy hair falling in his face. "You're a survivor," He shrugged. "You would never give up-you don't know how. You're never going to give up. And you're not going to stop trying to get better. You'll just work harder," He went on.

Massie frowned as she stared at the door, trying her hardest not to let her confusion shine through.

_What is talking about? Why's he being nice to me-shouldn't he be with Dylan? Where are my friends...James? The people who actually care about me? Why am I stuck in some strange place with Derrick? It just doesn't make sense. And why does my-oh SHIT!_

"What did you give me? What did you do to me?" Massie glared, whirling around to face Derrick with anger flooding her eyes. Clearly he was guilty-that was why he was here. He'd made sure nobody else knew about what had happened, to save his own face. Massie felt silly for having not realized it before.

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything...Mass, you got into a car accident-don't you remember?" He asked, hurt and sadness taking over his happy, excited, and eager looking face.

* * *

><p><em>I'm a survivor-I'm goin' make it<br>I will survive-Keep on survivin'  
>It took all the strength I had not to fall apart<br>Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart  
>And I spend oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself<br>I used to cry, now I hold my head up high_

Derrick Harrington was going to make it through. He would somehow survive knowing that Massie thought he was some kind of jerk who just wanted to hurt her. He would get through her forgetting all about him and what they meant to each other. He could figure out how to get through life without her. He was going to make it through the next few years of seeing her face and knowing he couldn't have her. He would survive, because he'd learned how to be a survivor from Massie Block, herself. He would just keep on pushing through everything.

Sure, it was taking all of the strength he had not to scream and shout when she'd accused him of that. He'd wanted to argue when the doctor had said it was in Massie's best interest if Derrick left the hospital-and didn't return until further notice. He was slowly falling apart, because he knew that the doctors knew nothing of what mattered for Massie. He knew that Massie needed some kind of reminder-some clue, some sign... _something _to let her known that everything that had happened and she'd forgotten about had actually happened. How could he just sit there and let her forget and let everybody act as if she was right and it had never happened?

Derrick sat in Starbucks, staring into his coffee, just trying to fix his broken heart. He knew it was impossible to mend it though, because he lacked all of the pieces. His heart belonged to Massie. She'd stolen it from him, and he'd never get it back again. She held it in a cell, and now she'd thrown away the key so he'd never be able to get it back.

Derrick knew he would be spending many sleepless nights feeling sorry for himself and all that he'd lost. He wouldn't even be able to think about what Massie had gone through and what she must be currently going through. He was going to be selfish, because he was too miserable to worry about anybody else. He would be crying until the day he could once again hold his head up high. Of course, that would take months. He probably wouldn't be able to be his old arrogant self until he got to college and nobody knew about his past with Massie, where he'd come out as a loser for the first time in his life.

He sighed as his phone rang. He picked it up, but only because it was Alicia.

"I talked to her," Alicia said, skipping the formalities and niceties. "She understands what happened to her in London-well, you don't know what I'm talking about, but whatever. She understands that we're all friends again, minus Claire, but what she doesn't get is what's going on between you two. So, do me a favor and get your sorry ass over here and help my best friend realize what the hell is going on in her life," Alicia snapped into the phone. Derrick knew she hung up before he heard that the call had been ended. And he sprinted towards his truck, leaving his coffee still full on the table, yet ice cold.

He was a man on a mission.

* * *

><p><em>Thought I couldn't breathe without you-I'm inhaling<br>You thought I couldn't see without you-perfect vision  
>You thought I couldn't last without you, but I'm lastin'<br>You thought that I would die without you, but I'm living  
>Thought that I would fall without you, but I'm on top<br>Thought it would be over by now, but it won't stop_

__"Alicia, you're insane. I mean, I may have forgotten a lot about my life, but I would never go back to Derrick after all that he did," Massie declared, shaking her head as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Mass, you could barely breath when you came back from London and saw him the first time. Every time you thought of him before you got back together, you were breathless," Alicia rolled her eyes.

"News flash? I'm inhaling," Massie smirked, taking a deep breath just to prove her point.

"Mass, I'd be talking to you and if he walked by, you couldn't see me and you didn't hear me. He was all you could think about. You couldn't hear anything but him or see anyone but him," Alicia pointed out.

"Perfect vision," Massie promised.

"There's no way you'll be able to last without him when you're out of here and back in school," Alicia challenged.

"I'm lasting...I survived the car crash, didn't I?" Massie raised her eyebrows and Alicia sighed. She knew there was no way she was going to win. "You make it sound like I'd die without him. When was I ever that girl? And besides, I'm alive, aren't I?" Massie asked sarcastically. "I'm on top of the world and the queen of BOCD, aren't I" She asked. Alicia nodded. She couldn't lie to her best friend. "See? I won't fall or fail without him. I'll be on top!"

"You think that you and Derrick are over because of what happened back in seventh grade? And for, what? The first week of eighth grade?" Alicia asked bitterly. "Well, it's not over. It's only just starting. And it won't stop," She snapped at Massie as she stood up and stalked out of the room, angry at her best friend for being so stubborn about this. Couldn't she just admit that maybe she had forgotten all about her relationship with the boy who might just be the love of her life? Because once she did that, Alicia could focus on Massie advising her through her Josh crisis. Because _that _was something that was important.


	63. Chapter 63:Don't Tell Me That U Love Me

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 62  
><em>AN: It took my so long to update because I got absolutely no reviews until today. _  
><strong>

_I can tell that he's really getting into me  
>He's trying too hard-he's trying too hard<br>He should be happy that he got this far  
>There's so many dudes up in this club<br>If you think that you have a chance, good luck  
>Don't tell me that you love me-don't tell me that you love me<em>

Massie Block was officially out of the hospital and back to living her life. To celebrate, Alicia Rivera was throwing a large party at her house. Her parents were rarely ever home anymore, and that made Alicia the party-queen of the junior class at BOCD high. _Everybody _who was anybody was at the party for Massie's good health. And Derrick Harrington was trying to use this chance as his way of getting back into her heart, because he wanted to be her boyfriend again. Massie could tell that he was really getting into her, but she didn't care. Derrick had hurt her, and maybe he was no longer dating Dylan, but he'd still dated a friend. That made him off limits in Massie's mind. To Massie, Derrick was trying too hard. He was trying much to hard to impress Massie. He'd been refilling her drink every time it had gotten half empty and he'd made sure no drama had been heard by Massie's ears. Yes, he was trying way to hard.

Of course, he should be happy with what he was getting right now. They were dancing together, and they were closer than close. It was silly that he was still hoping to weasel his way back into her life. Derrick was closer to Massie than most guys in Westchester could ever say they'd gotten. It was ridiculous that he felt the need to be a bigger part to her. Massie was considering living the single life for a little while anyways, and she wasn't going to let anybody ruin that for her.

And if Derrick was going to continue to try...well, there were plenty of other guys she could find at this party who would love a chance to be with Massie for a party. They'd love to have just one dance. They'd die if she even smiled their way. So, why should she waste time on Derrick, who just wanted her to change everything she wanted for what he wished he could get back? There was absolutely no reason for it.

"Hey, Derrick," Massie whispered in a low, seductive voice, directly into his ear.

"Yeah?" He asked, eyes locking with her own.

"Do you think that you have a chance?" She asked, smiling at him coyly, leaning back a little bit.

"I hope so," He replied, raising his eyebrows at her curiously.

"Good luck," She winked, twirling on her heel and going to join Alicia, who was sitting by herself, watching as Josh flirted with a large pack of other girls.

"I wish he'd never told me he loved me" Alicia whispered bitterly. "Because now I'm stuck, because I believe him," She shook her head, eyes locked on him in a cold glare.

Massie nodded in agreement, praying that Derrick would never tell her that he loved her-because that would ruin everything she was working for.

* * *

><p><em>When you try too hard it makes you look ugly<br>Don't tell me that you love me  
>You don't know what you're talking about<br>Silly little boy just shut your mouth  
>Shut-shut-shut-shut-shut<br>Shut your mouth  
><em>

"Why won't you give Derrick a chance?" Dylan Marvil asked, pulling at a curly strand of bright red hair as the girls settled into Alicia's living room for their sleep over that Saturday night, right after the party had entered. It was about three on a Sunday morning, to be fair, but the girls couldn't sleep. They were much too excited to be reunited once again, and finally having some much-needed and long overdue girl time. "He really loves you, and he's trying _so _hard to get you to see that," She shook her head as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger nervously. She was doing Derrick a favor, but to be honest, she wanted Massie to be happy and she knew only Derrick Harrington could offer that for her.

"When you try too hard it makes you look ugly," Massie shrugged, examining her freshly manicured nails. They were a bright purple, of course, with silver tips, style to be long, sharp claws. Her little accident had turned her into a blend of the bitchy Massie Block from seventh grade and the new miss-popular Massie Block that had returned from London. "Besides, he doesn't really love me. It's just that he thinks we should be together because of labels and titles and stupid high school shit," She rolled her eyes.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Kristen Gregory snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "Derrick loves you, and I don't know what the hell happened to you when you got into that accident, but you clearly forgot all about that fact. He's loved you since seventh grade and I don't know why, because you've never been anything other than a bitch to him," Kristen accused.

"Derrick's just a silly little boy," Massie replied simply. But, of course, Kristen's comment couldn't go unnoticed. Even if she did have to wonder if it was true. "And if I were you, I'd shut my mouth," Massie glared at the blonde who rolled her eyes and went on to braid her hair silently.

And that left Massie to ponder what had been said.

Was she being too hard on Derrick? Could she be wrong? Maybe he really did love her, and she'd just forgotten...but, how could she forget something as important as love? Massie had never imagined being able to forget that moment. She'd figured she'd remember her first love forever.

But, that wasn't fair, because Landon Craine had been her first attempt at love. She couldn't call Derrick first love, but maybe he was _true _love. Maybe she'd actually wanted him-maybe a part of her really did want him at this moment, but the rest of her wouldn't allow her to know it? Could it be? Was it physically possible?

Massie sighed as she rolled over, turning her back to her friends as she tried to realize what she wanted in life when it came to love. Could she really want Derrick Harrington because she loved him? She just didn't know. But, she couldn't let anything blur her mind until she was absolutely positive about what she wanted.

"I'm sorry, Kris," Massie whispered over her shoulder, not sure if Kristen could hear her or was listening.

* * *

><p><em>Guys these days, I swear they're so clingy<br>Always saying 'why you've gotta leave me'  
>Deuces-I've gotta go<br>Don't even try to hit up my phone  
>He won't leave me alone-he won't leave me alone<br>I have my own life-why can't you get your own_

"Massie! Hey, let me carry those books for you," Derrick ran towards her, taking the books right out of her hands that Monday at school. "You look great, by the way," He nodded at her. Massie rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

_Guys these days, _she sighed. _I swear...they're just so clingy! _She smirked at Derrick, deciding maybe she could put him to a test to find out if she really loved him-and to see if he really loved her.

"Leesh, why do you have to go? Why can't we just be together?" Josh Hotz was asking Alicia as Massie passed, slowing because she'd planned on stopping to see her friend, but she'd decided to keep going when she realized that the couple was fighting again. Josh was asking Alicia his famous line, but Massie hoped that Alicia had finally realized that Josh didn't deserve any more chances, because he didn't deserve her. Massie sighed as she strained her eyes to try to hear what Alicia was replying to the supposed love of her life.

"I've gotta go," Alicia blurted. Massie let out the breath she hadn't even known she was holding. "I've gotta go, because I can't deal with the stress you provide in my life. I can do better and I deserve better," Alicia went on. "So, I'm sorry, but I've just got to go. I need to break away and make sure I'm doing what I need to do with my life. I love you, Josh, I really do, but sometimes love just isn't enough. Relationships are always worth fighting for, but I can't be the only one fighting anymore," Alicia sighed and Massie smiled a small smile as she started walking again, not wanting Alicia to know that Massie had been eavesdropping on what-she hoped-was her final break up with Josh.

Of course, Massie and Alicia both had the same problem. Neither Josh nor Derrick would leave them alone. They wouldn't give the girls a break and let them move on. Josh wouldn't allow Alicia to break up with him and make herself realize that he was nothing other than a jerk. He always had to add some sort of doubt to her mind about what he was really like, and it was starting to slowly tear Alicia apart. It was killing her-aging her and stealing away her innocence. Derrick just wouldn't give Massie a chance to move on, because she really didn't believe that it was right to be with her best friend's ex. She didn't think she should go back to an ex-boyfriend who'd caused her so much pain. But, Derrick wouldn't give her the space she needed to notice somebody else and get over Derrington. They boys just wouldn't leave the girls they loved alone.

"Derrick," Massie said sweetly as she stopped outside of her homeroom classroom.

"Yeah?" Derrick asked, eyes showing his hopefulness.

"I have my own life, so why can't you get one?" She asked as she turned and stormed into her classroom.

* * *

><p><em>Your swag's alright and you've got it going on<br>But it stops being cute when you won't leave me alone  
>I've got my own life and I'm trying to make money<br>And it doesn't help much when you tell me that you love me  
>Don't-don't tell me that you love me-'cause you don't really love me<br>You don't even know me_

__Massie glared as she angrily crossed her arms across her chest. Her friends had all left her, forgetting that she wasn't allowed to drive for the time being. Her only source of a ride had been Derrick Harrington, and it was killing her to sit in a car with him on the fifteen minute drive towards her new house.

"Why won't you just give me a chance?" Derrick asked, turning towards her with a playful smile on his face. "Am I that awful that nothing about me turns you on?" He asked.

"Your alright, Derrick...I mean, you've got that swagger that all guys seem to want all of a sudden, and you've got something great going on about you," Massie shook her head, trying to clear out her head. "The thing is...it stops being cute when you won't leave me alone. It gets annoying and drives me insane-and it turns me off," Massie shrugged, glaring at Derrick playfully, a little smirk pulling at her face.

"I've got my own life, Mass," Derrick argued. "And I make my own money-it's not like I depend on my parents for everything," Derrick's hands clenched on the steering wheel. "And I love you, but you won't even give me a fair chance!"

"I can't be with you, okay? It just doesn't work for me, when I think of it logically, you know? And it doesn't help very much when you go and tell me that you love me," Massie snapped. "Don't tell me that you love me...because you don't really love me," She whispered softly as he pulled into her driveway. "You don't even know me," She added quietly as she slid from the truck and ran into her house, leaving him sitting there in confusion.


	64. Chapter 64:Light My Candle

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 64**

_What'd you forget-got a light?  
>I know you-you're...you're shivering<br>It's nothing-they turned off my heat  
>And I'm just a little weak on my feet<br>Would you light my handle-what are you staring at?  
>Nothing-your hair in the moonlight?<em>

Jasper Rodriguez shook his head as he opened the door to his mansion, sighing as he wondered what on earth his older brother could have possibly forgotten _this _time. Jasper was eighteen and lived with his twenty five year old brother, Collins, and his wife, Noel. He'd just moved in with his brother the day before and the first thing he'd learned about him was that he was forgetful in every way. Jasper's parents had recently died in a car crash, and since Collins was the only family member who was physically able to take care of Jasper, he'd been sent to Westchester to join him. Of course, his parents weren't the only people he'd lost in that car crash...but Jasper didn't want to dwell on that right now.

"What did you forget this-"He stopped when he saw the beautiful girl leaning against the doorframe, holding a small candle, a little smile on her face.

"Got a light?" She asked, tilting the candle towards him a little bit.

"I know you from somewhere..."He frowned. "You're-wait a second...are you okay? You're shivering," He frowned.

"Oh, it's nothing-they turned off the heat over at my estate...just a stupid misunderstand because my father's away on business and my mother's in Spain-when my dad's secretary called to take care of the house and all, she forgot I was going to be staying here until tomorrow," She explained. "So they turned everything off a day early. But I'm find...just a little weak on my feet, but that's because I'm not a big walker," She shrugged carelessly, pushing a strand of glossy, jet black hair behind her ear. She gave off a careless little giggle and he found himself smiling at her. "So? Would you light my can-what are you staring at?" She asked, frowning slightly as her perfectly arched eyebrows formed a confused little V.

"Nothing...just...you're hair-it's shining in the moonlight," He responded, smiling back at her.

She was beautiful. Her hair was glossy, falling in gentle waves around her face. It was a dark, jet black color and her skin was a deep, dark olive complexion without the slightest flaw. Her eyes were wide, sparkling and a milky chocolate color that reminded him of the innocence of a baby deer. Her smile was overwhelming, making him want to smile as well. She had small, barely there dimples and small, petite features. Yet she herself was tall and thin with curves in all the right places.

"Are you going to light it or not? Because it's a long walk to the neighbors on the other side and even longer to the neighbors next to you," She asked with a sigh. "And I can't show up at my friend's a day early, because her mom doesn't know she invited me to stay and she's not leaving until tomorrow morning," She went on. "And you didn't need to know that," She giggled, and he laughed with her.

* * *

><p><em>Your smile reminded me of<br>I always remind people of-who is she?  
>She died-her name was April<br>It's out again  
>Sorry about your friend<br>Would you light my candle?_

"So...why do you want a candle lit?" He asked, honestly wanting to know what a single candle could do to help her. She didn't seem to be a liar, but how could a girl who lived in a mansion that was about the same size as Jasper's new house use a single candle to help her when she had no heat and no electricity? She didn't seem crazy...or stupid...she actually seemed normal, which was a nice change from what Jasper had been used to for the past few weeks.

"I don't have any lighters or matchers in the house-well, the lighter's are all dead, and all, so I can't light the fireplace myself. I was thinking if I had the candle I could just light some of the other ones in my room and somehow get the fireplace lit with it-stupid idea, I know, but it's all I got without having to walk back to return a lighter-because matches do _not _work for me," She giggled again. This giggle was nervous and just a little awkward.

"What are you staring at?" The girl asked him, crossing her arms rightly over her chest and letting the candle dangle carelessly by her side. She titled her head to the side and allowed her hair to become a curtain around her face, blocking her eyes and her smile from him. The trance that she'd had on him was gone as soon as the eye contact was gone. When they could no longer share a smile and a laugh, the effect she had on him was like nothing at all.

"Your smile...it just...it reminds me of...well, it looks like...you just remind me so much of-"He didn't know why he'd even thought to be honest. He didn't think he could be able to explain the connection he seemed to find between his ex-girlfriend and this new girl who he had no clue of her identity. He knew he should probably ask her who she was-try and tell her who he was, but no. That would make everything too personal. He shook his head and just gave up on his words.

"I always remind people of...who is she?" The girl asked, uncrossing her arms and leaning closer towards Jasper. She had a coy smile on her face now, a devious look to her eyes. She was enjoying playing with him. She just assumed he was trying to get her to like him. She thought he was hitting on her and this was one of his cute little pick-up lines that never worked when he wanted to hit on a girl. She was wrong, of course.

"She died," He said frankly, not bothering to sugar coat anything. He knew what she thought, and he'd rather be honest than appear to be a pervert to his new neighbor-despite the fact that she might be crazy. "Her name was...Her name was April," He choked on his girlfriend's name, and it killed him just a little to speak the words aloud. He hadn't spoke about her to anybody since the crash. Nobody knew that He'd been the one who'd told her to drive herself home from the party so he could stay just a little later. It was all his fault.

"It's still out," The girl said after a few second's silence. "I'm sorry about your friend," She said sincerely. "But...could you light my candle?" She asked, holding it out towards him.

* * *

><p><em>They say that I have the best ass below 14th street<br>Is it true? What?  
>You're staring again.<br>Oh no...I mean you do-have a nice...  
>I mean, you look familiar<br>Like your dead girlfriend_

The girl cursed as she dropped the candle, bending over swiftly to pick it up and snapping back up into a standing position. She caught Jasper's eye and a slight smirk took over her face. She cocked a single eyebrow at him before she spoke her next words.

"They say that I have the best ass in Westchester," She said simply, as if it were as simple as talking about the weather. "Is it true?" She asked, turning around to give him another glance, bending over when she had her back to him before popping back up straight. She had to be a dancer, what with the poise she'd had in this spin.

"What?" He asked, eyes growing wide at her boldness. He'd never met a girl who would ask something like that. Especially when talking to a guy she'd just met. This girl didn't even know who he was, yet here she was, asking him about his opinions about her ass.

"You were staring again," She said with a careless shrug. "I'm just assuming that's what attracted your attention this time," She added. She seemed so innocent, when you just glanced at her, but when you talked to her and saw her actions, you understood that she was anything but innocent.

"Oh...no...I wasn't-I mean...well, you do...I mean, you have a nice..."He was rambling, unsure of what to say. He shook his head, trying to clear out his head. He'd really only begun staring once again because he still couldn't believe her resemblance to April.

"Well?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at him, placing her hands on her hips and allowing the candle to dangle between two fingers. She had one leg out in front of her and a hip jutted out. She was sexy...beautiful. And so much like April it made him want to cry.

"I just mean...well, you look very familiar," He finally managed. He swallowed slightly, taking a large gulp. He knew he seemed nervous, but that was okay. Because he was nervous. He'd never met any girl who acted as this girl did, and it scared him a little.

"I look familiar to you?" The girl asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Jasper nodded at her, his mouth too dry to allow words to properly leave his mouth and make any sense at all. The girl shook her head and gave off a small laugh. "Like your dead girlfriend?" She asked.

* * *

><p><em>Oh won't you light my candle?<br>Why don't you forget that stuff?  
>You look like you're sixteen.<br>I'm nineteen but I'm old for my age  
>I'm just born to be bad<br>I was once born to be bad_

"Will you light my candle?" She asked once again. And that's when he noticed the small bag in her pocket. Oh, so _that _was why she needed a light so badly. It all made sense now. He shook his head for having been so stupid.

"Why don't you forget that stuff?" He asked. She took a small step back, her jaw dropping in shock and her eyes giving it all away. He'd clearly learned the truth.

"What do you mean?" She asked indignantly, trying to regain herself.

"You know exactly what I mean," He said.

"Whatever-are you going to light the candle or not?" She asked.

"You look like you're thirteen," He shook his head. This wasn't a lie. The girl may have an excellent body and incredible looks, but she had the innocence and the facial features of a child.

"I'm seventeen," She said bitterly. "But I'm old for my age,"

"How's that possible? I took off four years, didn't I?" He challenged.

"I meant in attitude," She glared.

"What's that mean?" He chuckled.

"I was just born to be bad-when you've lived a life like mine, you'd understand," She said bitterly. He could tell she was growing angry, but he honestly didn't care that much. He wouldn't aid her to harm herself.

"I was once born to be bad," He said. "I used to shiver like that,"

"I've been out here forever and I already told you that they turned off my heat," She sighed.

"I used to sweat, even though I was cold," He went on.

"I've probably got a cold or something-it's a very cold night," She pointed out.

"I used to be a junkie too," He said.

"Screw you," She spat at him.

* * *

><p><em>No<br>With my father.  
>I'm Roger.<br>They call me  
>They call me<br>Mimi_

__"Listen, do you want some help?" He asked.

"No," She threw over her shoulder as she turned around to walk away.

"Which one of your parents is cheating-that they're both away?" He called.

"None of your business," She snapped.

"Who's your father's secretary sleeping with?" He asked.

"With my father," She glared back at him as she kept walking.

"I'm Jasper!" He called cheerfully after her.

"They call me...they call me Alicia," She said, turning around to face him. She stood there for a few moments before he nodded. Then, she turned around and walked away.


	65. Chapter 65:More Than This

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 65  
><em>AN: Is it too much to ask for to request a couple of reviews when I update the story? _  
><strong>

_I'm broken-do you hear me?  
>I'm blinded 'cause you're everything I see<br>I'm dancing alone, I'm praying  
>That your heart will just turn around<br>And as I walk up to your door  
>My eye turns to face the floor<em>

_**8 hours previously:**  
><em>

Derrick Harrington was completely heartbroken. He'd been heartbroken as soon as Massie had left his car. With each step she took towards her house, he grew more and more depressed, yet another piece of himself dying on the inside. He could feel himself slowly falling apart. He was dying, and it was all because of Massie Block rejecting him. And the worst part was, she just couldn't seem to hear what he was saying. She didn't want to listen to him. She refused to believe him. She considered him a liar. She called him a heart breaker. She thought of him as a jerk. She didn't want to be with him, all because of past memories and a case of amnesia that had caused her to forget all of the good memories they had together.

He could only see her. She was the only person that he could focus on, and it was causing him to become deaf, blind and dumb. He couldn't talk about anything but her. He could only think about her. When he closed his eyes, there she was. When he listened to his friends talk, their voices were replaced with her own. Sometimes, even their words morphed into something she'd once said to him. She was all he could think about and he couldn't help it, because he didn't even realize it himself until one of his friends pointed it out for him.

He was stuck to metaphorically dance by himself. He had nobody to trust. Nobody was there for him to love He had absolutely nobody, because all he had left was himself. He was alone, because his friends were all taken, or angry at the world, in Cam's case. Or, they were just in denial that the girl they loved had finally left them, if their name was Josh Hotz. Derrick was praying that would never be him, of course.

So, he left his car and slowly started to make his way towards her front door. He was going to tell her everything. He was going to make her believe him, because he was hopeless when it came to her. He'd do whatever it took to get her back, even if he looked desperate.

But, still, as soon as she answered the door, his eyes focused right on the floor. He just couldn't look her in the face and say what he needed to.

"What do you want, Derrick?" Massie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I...uh...I just wanted to say..."He paused, stuttering on his words. "I needed to tell you that..."He wasn't sure how to best word what he needed to say to her to make sure she finally believed him.

"You just needed to _what?" _She barked at him moving her hands to her hips as she raised an eyebrow at him, a perfect scowl settling on her lips to match the glare that her amber eyes were giving him. Derrick lowered his head once more so he didn't have to stare at her anger. It was too much for him to bare. "Spit it out," She commanded.

"You dropped your pen in my car," He blurted out, reaching into his pocket and handing her a purple BIC pen. He'd kept an entire pack in his car, because she was constantly needing to write something done, but refused to write in any other color. One day, he'd stopped at Kinney's and bought a large pack of the pens, surprising her with them the next time she'd needed to write down information about her next spa appointment. Derrick sighed, hoping she'd believe him.

"Thanks..."She frowned, reaching for the pen as an odd look took over her face. It was amused, shocked, confused...and a little impressed. Could it be that maybe she was starting to remember? Maybe little hints were all it took to help her remember everything that they'd meant to one another? No, it couldn't be..she was probably just shocked that big-strong, Derrick Harrington had a purple pen in his car and was desperate enough to use it as an excuse to talk to Massie Block. Even he was a little surprised at that.

* * *

><p><em>If I'm louder will you see me?<br>Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me?  
>Cause we are the same<br>You saved me, when you leave its gone again  
>And then I see you on the street in his arms-I get weak<br>My body falls-I'm on my knees, praying_

_**4 hours previously:**  
><em>

Derrick was aimlessly driving around town when he spotted Chris Abebly, the second year senior at BOCD high school. Chris had to be the only teenage boy in all of Westchester who had been held back twice, because of his father's refusal to try and pay off the school to get him the grades he needed. Of course, probably understood that Chris wouldn't come to do anything all that fantastic in his life. Chris wasn't alone when Derrick spotted him leaving Pinkberry's though. No, he was with Massie Block, but neither one noticed Derrick or his truck. Maybe if he was loud and obnoxious, honking his horn or shouting out to them, they'd see him, but he wouldn't do that. He was too heartbroken.

He wanted-no, he _needed-_Massie Block to lay besides him, allowing him to hold her in his arms. When he had her, he felt needed. He knew he needed to keep her safe, because she was dependent on him. That saved him from himself, and that was the only thing in the world Derrick was honestly afraid of. He didn't want to let anybody down, and he worked so much harder to impress Massie, that he knew he could never let anybody down. He was safe from the pressure to be perfect when he had Massie, because she thought he was perfect no matter what he did. And he believed her, because she was Massie Block.

They were the same...they were both stuck with terrible families that they wanted to hide away from the rest of the world. They longed to be able to make mistakes and honestly live their lives they way they wanted to run them, but they couldn't. They had too many people just waiting to bring them down. They were stuck working as hard as they could to maintain their image and keep their social status where it was. Because once you got to the top, it was a long fall to the bottom, and it destroyed you as a person to get way down there. You lost a piece of your soul. And they both understood this. They were like one soul, stuck with the same stresses.

So, yes, Massie Block had saved Derrick from many things. He didn't have to worry about what anybody at school thought of him, because if picture-perfect Massie loved him, it meant he had to be perfect in every way. He didn't have to worry about impressing his friends, because he was clearly keeping Massie happy, and that meant he was incredible. His parents' drama and his family messes didn't matter to him either, because he had Massie and they were like their own little happy family. They didn't need anybody else. They had each other. So, yeah, of course Massie Block had saved him. But now she'd left him and he was falling back into that black hole on distress again.

And now that he was stuck watching Massie Block walk around Westchester on Chris' arms, he was falling apart. He was ready to go crawl up into a ball somewhere and bawl his eyes out in the dark, until he couldn't cry anymore. He wanted to be left alone so he could die. He was weaker than he should be. He became one of those sad, depressed guys you saw in movies who just stopped living because the girl they loved had moved on and no longer loved him. He crumbed and fell to his knees, praying for some kind of sign that everything would be okay in the end, because everything had to be okay in the end. If it wasn't, then it couldn't be the end.

* * *

><p><em>I've never had the words to say<br>But now I'm asking you to stay  
>For a little while inside my arms<br>And as you close your eyes tonight  
>I pray that you will see the light<br>That's shining from the stars above_

_**2 hours previously:**  
><em>

Derrick Harrington wasn't sure of what to say to Massie. All he knew was that every time he tried to talk to her in person or over the phone, he got all tongue tied, and sometimes he got angry with her for not listening to him. He didn't dare try and text her or email it, because it was too impersonal, and there was no taking it back after he hit send if he wasn't sure he liked what he was planning to say to her. So, he opened up a video chat on his computer. Sending her a video would work. He could tape it and rewatch it. He could retape it and he could send a rough draft to Cam for a true romantic's opinion. This could work for him. But, as soon as he saw the red light, he chickened out and changed his mind. It was too much like an email-too permanent.

All he really needed to do was ask her for a second chance, anyways. He needed to try and make her see that he was more than just her ex boyfriend and the guy that had dated Dylan for a little while. He was more than mister popularity, and he just needed to make her understand that. He'd changed since what she remembered about him, and anybody and everybody could and would and was vouching for him. They were trying to help him out, but she wasn't listening to anybody. She was allowing her amnesia to take control of her. Her mind was officially controlling what should be run by her heart.

If Derrick could just get one chance to prove to her that she belonged with him, he knew she'd remember everything. If he could just get her to stay in his arms for an hour, he knew that it would all come back to her. He needed her to give him one hour. That was all. Just sixty minutes out of the five hundred, twenty five thousand moments in each year. He just needed a little while to try and get her to remember all of the good times they'd had since her return from London, but she just wouldn't allow him that. She wouldn't give him the chance.

But, when she was falling asleep tonight, closing her eyes to the world as she lay in bed alone-oh god, how he hoped and prayed she'd be alone when she got into bed tonight-he was sure she'd be thinking about everything that people had been promising her about Derrick. Because Massie could never go to sleep without thinking about something that she claimed didn't matter to her. Like Derrick.

All he really wanted was for her to see the light and come back to him, allowing him the chance to call her his once more. He wanted her to realize everything that they were supposed to be-supposed to have.

And he was sure that the stars shining above her would help her realize just how important he was to her.

* * *

><p><em>When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight<br>It just won't feel right-cause I can love you more than this  
>Cause I can love you more than this-when he lays with you<br>I might just die inside-it just don't feel right  
>Cause I can love you more than this, yeah<br>Can love you more than this_

___**Currently:**_

_****_"What now Derrick?" She sighed.

"Are you dating Chris?" He blurted.

"Is that really any of your business?"

"Yes."

"It's not, actually,"

"Well, when he opens your arms and pulls you close to him tonight..."

"What about it?"

"It just won't feel right."

"What are you talking about?"

"When he touches you-it doesn't feel right, does it? Like it did with me,"

"Derrick..."

"When he lays next to you..."

"He-"

"I die a little inside just thinking about it, but it doesn't feel right to you, right?"

"So?"

"You know the truth,"

"What truth?"

"I can love you more than he can,"

"What do you mean?"

"I love you more than he does. I love you better. And you love me and not him,"

"You're wrong."

"No, you are,"

"You're wrong about me being with him,"

"Oh..."

"But, you're right about everything else,"

"I am?"

"Yes...but...it doesn't change anything. Sorry,"


	66. Chapter 66:Give Love a Try

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 66**

_You-you like driving on a Sunday  
>You-you like taking off on Monday<br>You-you're like a dream..A dream come true  
>I was just a face you never notice<br>Now I'm just trying to be honest  
>With myself-with you-with the world<em>

Derrick Harrington sat at his desk, staring at the email he'd just typed up to one Massie Block. He was debating on whether or not he should hit SEND. A large part of him wanted to, but another part of him was arguing against his heart. His common sense knew it was a waste of time and energy, because she'd delete the message without opening it and ignore him as she'd been since she'd woken up.

Besides, it was a Sunday and everyone knew that on Sundays, Massie Block liked to drive around, listening to music, especially when she was confused as he knew she was. Of course, he also knew that he and Massie would have no contact if he didn't try and reach her first. He remembered those words as if she'd told him it yesterday, despite her having told him back in seventh grade.

_"I'm the girl," She'd pointed out simply, as if that had answered all of life's questions. "You're the boy...either you text me first, or we don't talk." _

If only life were still that simple.

He sighed as he reread the email once again. There was no point in sending it, since she'd never get it today. And Mondays were when she checked out on the rest of the world. No internet, no texting, barely any phone calls were accepted. No...Monday was the day she took off and didn't let anybody bother her when she went to the spa.

Derrick shook his head as he walked towards his bed and flopped onto his stomach. Massie was like a dream to him, perfect in every way he could imagine. And he knew that he was her dream guy. Alicia had even told him that she'd said it since waking up from the coma. The problem was, he was sure, that she'd finally woken up.

Derrick was forever going to be just another face in the crowd. He meant nothing more to Massie than just an ex who had proceded to date one of her best and closest friends. Her amnesia was slowly fading, but he doubted she'd ever regain her full memory, or decide to give him another chance.

It killed Derrick to say that, but he was just trying to be honest. With not only himself, but with the world. And it was time he was honest with Massie.

He went back to his computer and erased the long message he'd spent hours typing and typed up a new message.

_Mass,  
>Dear Heart:<br>Please stop interfering with everything I do in life. You're job is to pump blood and nothing else, so stop making me continue to love Massie Block. She's done with me and it's over. All I have left to say to her is that...I tried and maybe I should have tried harder, but it's too late for late now._

* * *

><p><em>You might think that I'm a fool for falling over you<br>So tell me what I can do to prove to you that it's not so hard to do  
>Give love a try, one more time 'cause you know that I'm on your side<br>Give love a try-one more time-how did it play out like a movie?  
>Now every time you speak it moves me and I can't get your smile off of my mind<br>And your eyes, when I saw them for the first time, knew that I was gonna love you for a long time_

__Massie Block thought of Derrick as a complete and utter fool for falling over her the way he was. But, she knew that he couldn't blame her for it. He never blamed her for anything she did to him. He just continued to love her the way he always had, as if she could do no wrong in the world, and she had to admit, she loved him for it. The thing was, he was constantly trying to figure out what he could do to prove to her that it wasn't so hard for her to just admit her love for him. After all, he'd been doing it for ages, so why couldn't she give it a try? Clearly, it was impossible for Massie Block to admit love for anybody though, because it just ended up with her getting hurt and looking foolish. How could the alpha of BOCD allow herself to look silly? Exactly.

"Give love a try-just one more time, please?" Derrick pleaded with her at her locker the next day, right before lunch. He'd been trying to get her attention all day long, and she'd been ignoring him in every way possible. It was what she did best when she was unsure of what to say or do. Massie wanted somebody who could solve all of her problems, and it was very clear to everybody that Derrick could not do that. He could, however, promise that she wouldn't have to go through them all alone. Unfortunately, that wasn't good enough for her. She didn't want to share her problems-she wanted a solution. "I'm on your side here, Mass-just help me out." He begged.

Massie couldn't even look him in the eyes. They reminded her too much of Bean when he was begging for attention or another treat or a new toy. His eyes reminded her of a sad, injured little animal or a depreived child, and there was nothing that upset Massie more and made her want to help more than that. Massie had always been big into charity, despite what anybody wanted to call her. Her biggest problem with the mess she and Derrick was in was that she just couldn't give love another try. It would be too much like a movie.

"I just don't understand what you want from me..."Derrick shook his head, his voice soft and full of hurt and just a tad of betrayal. It killed Massie to hear this side of him. Of course, every single time he spoke, it moved her. He was always affecting her in some way. He was always the answer when she was asked what she was thinking about. And it was typically his smile-which had been lacking lately.

"Derrick, can I ask you something?" She asked, turning to face him as she closed his locker. She knew what his answer would be. She was expecting it, actually, and it didn't shock her that she was right-word for word.

"Of course-anything," He said, staring intently at her.

"What made you first realize that you loved me-that you even liked me?" She asked.

"Your eyes," He said simply. "When I first saw them...well, I just knew that I was going to love you for a long time and nothing could possibly change that. And I did love you-and I still do. So will you give us one more shot, please?" He whispered, staring at the ground.


	67. Chapter 67:Jar of Hearts

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 67  
><span>AN: So this chapter pained me to write because I just went through a heartbreaking situation sort of similar to this-I just found out that a guy I'd been talking to for a while and really liked is "talking" to one of my close friends...  
><strong>

_No, I can't take one more step towards you  
>'Cause all that's waiting is regret<br>Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore  
>You lost the love I loved the most<br>I learned to live half alive  
>And now you want me one more time<em>

"No," Massie said. The word, that one single sound, crushed Derrick. In the silent, empty hallway, Massie 's soft, cheerful voice sounded cold and heartless as she slowly tore Derrick's heart apart. Massie realized how terrible her answer sounded and she regretted how the light just left Derrick's eyes as the hopeful smile faded from his face. He no longer looked like the sad little puppy dog in the window that knew he'd one day get adopted and be loved. No, Derrick looked like a miserable, sad little dog who wandered the streets and went through the trash for something to eat. He was crushed-destroyed. He was ruined and it was all Massie's fault.

Still, she couldn't bring herself to get any closer to him. He already knew her too well and that scared her. People were not supposed to know and understand the real Massie Block. She couldn't take another step towards the boy she loved, because she would be stuck living in regret for the rest of her life. She knew how love worked-just take a glance at her parents' failed relationship. She wouldn't allow things to end terribly with a boy who knew everything there was to know about her. It would destroy everything she'd worked so hard for.

She would not allow herself to dwell in the memories of their old relationship. Derrick would forever be a ghostly memory whenever she looked back at seventh grade. Did she really forget about everything they'd gone through since then? At first, yes. But she'd remembered everything a few days ago. She just didn't want to get hurt, and this was her safest way to end things.

"Mass, I love you more than I love anything," Derrick sighed, running a hand through his hair. Oh, how those words killed her. She was losing the guy she loved the most. And Derrick was losing the only love he'd ever known. Losing your first love killed you.

Massie was torn in half. Part of her wanted to be with Derrick, because he owned half of her heart. The other half? Not so much.

She was going to have to relearn everything. She was only half alive now-half of who she was-and it would take a lot to learn how to live life like that. It wasn't going to be easy, but she would make sure she did it.

The only problem was that Derrick still wanted her. And she wanted him. But she could never allow to give into those emotions again. She couldn't allow even one more little slip-up. It wasn't good for either of them and it would only cause heartbreak. Sure, giving in would prolong it, but it was unavoidable. It was going to happen at some point, and Massie always preferred to rip her bandages off fast.

* * *

><p><em>So don't come back for me<br>Who do you think you are_  
><em>I hear you're asking all around<br>If I am anywhere to be found  
>But I have grown too strong<br>To ever fall back in your arms  
><em>

Massie sighed as she sat in her bedroom that night, talking on the phone with Alicia Rivera, the only person who was allowed to know every little detail of her life. Alicia was like a sister to her, and Alicia's life was just as screwed up as Massie's was, so the girls allowed only each other to know all of their deepest and darkest secrets. It made them feel safe and secure, while also giving them somebody to talk to. Only Alicia knew everything there was to know about Massie's relationship with Derrick. She knew that Massie still loved him with all her heart and she understood why Massie wouldn't take him back.

Alicia rolled her eyes as she listened to Massie go on and on about her heartbreak. There were many things she wanted to say to Masssie-most of them were about how Derrick was sweet and kind. Massie loved a guy who loved her so much more than she could ever dream of loving him back. But Josh? Josh was cruel and abusive, yet Alicia still loved him. She didn't want to and she knew he wasn't good for her, but she couldn't help but love him-he was her first love, after all.

"Mass? Can you hold on for a second? Call waiting," Alicia said, blowing a strand of hair from her face as she put Massie on hold to answer whoever was calling her on the other line. She knew Massie was probably still ranting, not having heard Alicia's inturruption at all. When Massie got going on a Derrick-monologue, it was close to impossible to shut her up and get her to listen to anybody but herself.

"Leesh? Hey, it's Derrick-can we talk?" He asked. Alicia's eyes widened. "I didn't know who else to call...I just...I need somebody's opinion on what to do about Massie, and you're the only one I know who knows her so well. Help me, please," He was pleading. Begging even.

"Don't come back for her, okay?" Alicia blurted without thinking.

"What?"

"Massie's done with you and how much pain she gets. She's afraid to be with you," Alicia explained quickly. "She's afraid of hurting you or you hurting her. She's just plain old afraid and she's giving up on your relationship," She explained.

"Who the hell does she think she is?" Derrick asked suddenly. "I love her and she loves me-it's not that hard. We should be together and she doesn't get to just decide that we don't for her own stupid and deluded reasons," He confirmed. Before Alicia could reply, there as a beep and he'd hung up. She went back to her conversation with Massie, slightly worried about Derrick.

"Who was it?" Massie asked curiously. Apparently she had been listening. "It was an awfully short conversation-was it Josh? Seriously? I'd just ignore him, which you're clearly doing if it was him, because that conversation was really short," Massie rambled on. Alicia realized then just how upset she was. Massie ranted and babbled and rambled on whenever she was upset. Derrick had really hurt her. "Leesh? Hello-are you there? Who called?" She asked.

"Derrick called me-he was asking about you..."Alicia said softly. "He wanted to know what I thought he should do about your relationship and I told him you were just done, because you were done letting other people hurt you, ya know?" She went on. Massie didn't respond at first, and Alicia grew worried. Was Massie angry at what Alicia had said? Maybe she should have lied to Derrick? Maybe she shouldn't have given him a straight answer. Or perhaps she should have immediately hung up on him. Could Massie maybe be...jealous? No, it was impossible-Alicia had told her exactly what the conversation had been about.

"Yeah, I figured he'd call you. Cam, Dyl, Kris...and all the rest of them, already text me. Apparently he's asking all around about what to do about me. Kemp said he pretty much asked him where the 'old' Massie went. Who would want that bitch back?" Massie laughed. But it doesn't matter, because I've grown just a little too strong for him. I won't allow myself to ever just fall back into his arms and admit my love for him ever again, because I'm over it. I'm not getting hurt anymore." Massie said. Alicia sighed. Massie was going to let her parents' relationship ruin all of her other romances for the rest of her life.

"I don't think you should just give up on love because it didn't work out with your parents. I mean, I'm not giving up because Josh turned out to be a jerk. I get that your dad sucked and cheated, but that doesn't mean all guys are out to hurt you. Derrick's really sweet and he loves you-and it's clear you love him too. Couldn't you just give him one more chance? Or at least be fair to him and let him know why you won't go back out with him. He deserves that much, at least," Alicia said softly.

"Yeah...you're right. I'll think about it and figure out what to do next," Massie said softly. "But, um, Leesh...what do you? You're not giving up on love? Is that something I should know about? Who's the new guy?" Massie was growing excited as she spoke. "Oh my god, Leesh-details! Give me something bright after all the stress we've been dealing with!" She squealed.

* * *

><p><em>Dear it took so long just to feel alright<br>Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
>I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed<br>'Cause you broke all your promises  
>And now you're back<br>You don't get to get me back_

"Derrick? Can we talk?" Massie asked as soon as the boy had answered the phone.

"Yeah, Mass, of course," He said quickly.

She didn't waste anytime. She dove straight into her story about what had happened to her family while in London.

"It took me a long time to feel alright after I came back to Westchester...and a large part of what made me okay was you," She finished.

"Massie...I'm just...I'm so sorry," He whispered.

"What are you sorry for? You reminded me how to put the light back into my eyes," She said softly.

"Massie, I don't want to hurt you anymore-and I never will again, I promise. But you have to give me another chance to prove it,"

"I wish I'd missed the first time that we kissed," She ignored him.

"What do you mean?"

"If I'd missed that, I would have missed everything that came afterwards. I wish I could forget that I ever loved you,"

"Why? Did I break some kind of promise?"

"No, but everyone else has,"

"Don't blame that on me,"

"I'm not. But I left, Derrick, and I got hurt,"

"And now you're back!"

"And you don't get to get me back," And with that, she hung up.

* * *

><p><em>And who do you think you are?<br>Running 'round leaving scars  
>Collecting your jar of hearts<br>And tearing love apart  
>You're gonna catch a cold<br>From the ice inside your soul_

__Derrick was angry. Who the hell do Massie freaking Block think she was? She wasn't allowed to call him and tell him this heart wrenching story about why she was giving up on love, just to turn around and tell him that even though she still loved him, it didn't matter. She didn't get to go and tell him that she regretted their past. She had no right to break his heart into a million pieces for something that just wasn't his fault. It just wasn't fair and it wasn't right. Sure, she was gorgeous and hot and...perfect-but she was not allowed to go and dictate his love life. So yes, Derrick was angry. No, he was more than mad. He was pissed off and a part of him hated Massie. And hate was so much stronger than love. So it just made sense that the hate part took over and all he could feel was that he hated Massie Jillian Block for hurting him like this. Massie liked to play games, but Derrick wouldn't be a pawn in her chess game any longer. She could run around and leave scars in anybody else's life, but not his own. He was giving up on Massie. He was done because he hated her and her crazy desire to rule everybody else's life. She wasn't allowed to come across and dictate his life as if she ruled it. If she didn't want to be a part of it, she had no right to take control. Okay, so Massie could go on and break as many hearts as wanted. She could give a million other guys her heart-Derrick didn't care, because now he knew the truth. Massie Block just ran around and collected hearts that she'd save and lead on. And when she started to feel something for them, she'd step in and break them, tearing the poor guy's soul into a tiny million pieces. She liked to break people's spirits? Well that was absolutely fine with him. He was giving up on her and her mind games. He didn't love her anymore. She didn't deserve love. He hated her with a dying passion. He hated her for taking his first love and twisting her into something awful and evil. He hated her for taking his first love away from him and ruining it, making it so that love would forever be tainted in his mind. Yes, Derrick Harrington hated Massie Block. There was something wrong with a girl who could only go around and tear other people's love apart. She'd been hurt before and she was taking that out on everybody else. Well, that just showed that she was nothing other than a bully. That was what a bully did. They hurt other people to ignore their own pain. They made other people feel awful to make themselves feel bigger and better and stronger. Derrick refused to be Massie's victim anymore. It wasn't fair to him. Massie could find a new play thing, it didn't really matter to Derrick because he hated her. That girl was going to catch a cold from the ice inside her soul. Her insides were so bitter and cold it was a wonder she could even admit to any emotions, especially love. Massie was a cold-hearted bitch. She herself admitted it on countless occassions but Derrick had never believed it. Now he did. And he hated her. Yes, he really hated her. Maybe the more times he said it, the more he'd believe it. Yes, if he kept on saying he hated her, maybe he would come to believe it.


	68. Chapter 68:Hate That I Love You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 68**

_That's how much I love you  
>That's how much I need you<br>And I can't stand it  
>Must everything you do<br>Make me wanna smile  
>Can't I not like you for a while<em>

Massie Block entered school the next morning planning on approaching Derrick to apologize for their argument the night before. She really did feel bad about it all and she'd released she was wrong within seconds after hanging up. And Massie Block did not do apologies well. She rarely ever admitted she was wrong, and she never did so aloud, in public. That wasn't her style. She was _the _Massie Block and that made her special. She was flawless and one of a kind. And she never let anybody get to her and act as if they were better than her. So, the mere fact that she wanted to seek Derrick out and go admit she was wrong and _apologize _just proved how much she loved Derrick Harrington.

"Mass, I really don't think you were that wrong," Alicia said as she hurried to keep up with Massie's long, confident strides. When Massie had a mission and a goal, nobody could stop her from her fast walking pace. "You told him exactly what happened and why you felt the way you did. You explained your feelings, and he tried to tell you that your feelings were _wrong. _You were not the wrong one here. He was." Alicia said. "And you know it," She persisted.

"Of course I do," Massie said, rolling her eyes and flipping a strand of hair over her shoulder. "Listen, do me a favor? Go and meet up with Dyl and Kris. I hear what you're saying and all, and I understand it. I get it, you know?But there really is no right or wrong in this situation. We need to really talk, face to face. And the fact that I'm apologizing shows just how much I need him, right?" Massie asked.

"I guess so...I just can't stand knowing that the invincible Massie Block is about to run off and admit defeat when she really didn't lose yet. It makes me worry about the sake of the rest of us," Alicia giggled as the girls split up.

"I know, Leesh...I know," Massie whispered after her best friend as she kept walking, trying to find the boy.

Of course, when she did find him, he was in the cafeteria with his friends, making a complete and utter ass out of himself.

Still, Massie couldn't help but smile. It seemed like everything the boy did made her want to smile. She hated it. She despised it. She wished that it didn't do that to her, but it did.

The thing was, every single time she listened to one of those sad, morbid love songs that were so slow and low-key, she couldn't help but think of him. Every single one reminded her of Derrick Harrington, who just so happened to be the one person she was not supposed to be thinking about at all, because it hurt too much.

* * *

><p><em>But you won't let me<br>You upset me girl  
>And Then you kiss my lips<br>All of a sudden  
>I forget<br>Can't remember what you did_

Derrick sighed as he saw Massie Block. He hated her. He really did. He'd meant it when he'd said it the previous night. Well, he meant that he _wanted _to be able to hate Massie Block, but she just wouldn't let him. There was something about her that made it impossible for him to grow angry with her. It was almost as if she wouldn't allow herself to be hated by Derrick. And that bothered him, because it showed he was losing control, and Derrick lived in a world that was all about control-his control, of course. Still, he wanted to hate Massie, but he couldn't hate her as a person. He could only hated certain parts of her.

Looking at her right now though, it was clear that she was very upset with him. He sighed as he shook his head and excused himself from his friends, slowly making his way towards the girl who could break his heart without a second thought. Derrick really couldn't stand her. There she was, just standing there with her arms crossed, watching him, knowing full well that he'd break away and walk over. Yes, he just couldn't stand her-yet every single thing she did made him fall even more in love with her.

"What do you want?" Derrick asked, looking anywhere but at her face. He wouldn't be able to stare into those amber eyes without turning into mush. And he couldn't allow himself to look at her lips for too long or he'd give into that urge to kiss her. "I'm pretty sure I understood what you said last night. You're over me and you don't love me anymore. I get it," He glared.

"I honestly believe that you have no idea what you're talking about right now, so I think you should hear me out before you start jumping to conclusions," She advised, her voice even and balanced.

"Stop acting all superior! You're the one who wanted this," He snapped.

"Just because we stopped talking, it doesn't mean I don't think of you-constantly. Because I do," She glared. "I'm just distancing myself from you because I know that it's not good for me to have you," She rolled her eyes at his stupidity.

"You know the power you have over me, right? You're the only one who can make me laugh no matter what I'm feeling. Sad, mad...any emotion. And it just isn't fair that you take the advantage you have-the fact that I love you. There's not even a reason for why I feel this way...but you have that affect on me and it just isn't fair," He snapped.

"You're being ridiculous. You're the one who gives me all that power, Derrick, and you need to realize that before you start blaming me. I'm only as strong as you allow me to be," She said coldly, ice covering over her usually bright eyes and her mouth forming a tight grimace before she turning on her heel and walking swiftly away. And as she walked away, her hips swaying with each step, Derrick found it hard to remember exactly what she'd that had upset him so much.

* * *

><p><em>But I hate it<br>You know exactly  
>What to do<br>So that I can't stay mad at you  
>For too long<br>That's wrong  
><em>

"I hate him!" Massie screeched as she and the rest of the PC sped out of the school parking lot during lunch for a Starbucks break. "I've never met anybody who could hurt me the way he can. He's rude, common, and invidious. I don't like him at all," She caught Dylan and Kristen sharing a knowing glance in the back seat. "I don't!" She snapped. "But I do love him," She sighed, shaking her head in defeat. "I love him so much, and I get that it's stupid and that I won't be happy, and I understand that he's awful to me and that this feeling in general is awful...but," She sighed again. "But I know that I can't be without him either, and for that, I hate myself," She admitted.

"I know exactly what you mean," Kristen spoke up. This shocked Massie. She'd just assumed, since Kristen was never complaining about Kemp, she must have the perfect relationship. But maybe Massie was so absorbed in her own life and her own relationship drama, she'd turned a deaf ear to her friends when they'd needed it? All besides Alicia, of course, but that was to be expected-Alicia's cry for help had been much louder, and Massie had known the price of ignoring Alicia's pain. "Sometimes, I hate Kemp, but I hate myself more,"

"It's just like," Massie sighed. "Why do they have to go off and tell us that they love us if they really don't? What do they think they're getting out of it? Besides, then we go off and do something crazy, like believe them. And that just makes it hurt more," She sighed, shaking her head as she shared a small smile with Kristen via the rearview mirror. "And then we're stuck to pick up the pieces," She frowned.

"I don't know what to do sometimes. It's almost like we were given these guys and told to love them, but we were stuck knowing that they'd never honestly love us back the same way we loved them and forever be heart broken," Kristen sighed, shaking her head.

"And then they have this hold on us so that we just can't stay mad at them for too long?" Massie asked the blonde girl.

"This is so wrong," Alicia burst out finally.

"What are you talking about?" Massie asked, turning to the Spanish beauty. "Leesh, you just don't get what we're going through, alright? You've never been through this-"

"Don't give me the pathetic victim act anymore, Mass," Alicia said in disgust. "I've sat by and listened to it long enough, but I've had enough now. Kristen, you've known from the beginning that Kemp likes to flirt, but he doesn't go off and cheat, and when he does make a mistake, he tells you about it and admits he's wrong," She snapped.

"Alicia, give me a break!" Kristen rolled her eyes. "Cheating is never okay-you should know that. Wait, never mind, you wouldn't, would you? Because if your guy cheats on you-even if he isn't officially your guy-you run off and steal somebody else's boyfriend to get back at them, even if it doesn't mean anything to you. You're a selfish bitch. Massie and I are going through a hard time right now and you need the attention to be on you!" She snapped.

"Kristen, get over yourself," Alicia rolled her eyes as she turned to Massie. "And as for you," She said simply. "Derrick loves you, and yeah, he's being a jerk right now, but that's only because he thinks you don't love him anymore. Stop making up excuses for why you can't be together, alright? Because I know what it's like to realize the guy you love doesn't love you anymore. And it sucks. At least Kemp doesn't go off and cheat and then act like it's all alright between you two. And at least Derrick doesn't physically hurt you for each and every time you've emotionally hurt him." She whispered.

"Oh, god...Leesh," Massie whispered. "I'm being selfish," She said softly. "I know, you're going through an awful lot right now, and we should all be there for you...but the thing is, we're all going through some pretty shitty times right now. I'm afraid of commitment after what happened with my parents, and Kristen doesn't want to get hurt because she doesn't like people having that type of power over her. And you were a victim by somebody you loved. I can only imagine what it's like. I think what we all need is just to stop complaining to one another until we're all in a happier and better state," Massie said.

* * *

><p><em>And I hate how much I love you girl<br>I can't stand how much I need you  
>And I hate how much I love you girl<br>But I just can't let you go  
>But I hate that I love you so<br>One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me_

Derrick glared as he stared at the email Massie had just sent to him-to the entire study body, as a matter of fact. It angered him almost as much as the fact that he still loved her after all she'd done to him over the years. He wasn't able to bare how much he needed her and he absolutely hated how much he loved her. The thing was, he just couldn't let her go and it made him hate himself for loving her so much. All he could do was hope that maybe one of these days, the spell she casted on him would fade and her magic wouldn't affect him so much anymore. But a large part of him knew it was wishful thinking.

"Derrick?"

"Hey, Kemp,"

"Have you read the email?"

"Of course I've read the bloody email,"

"Are you as pissed as I am?"

"Well, more so, actually,"

"Why?"

"Massie's the one who wrote it,"

"True,"

_Hey all you BOCD-ers! This is Massie Block with a little message to all you males out there hoping to get a girlfriend-and all your females waiting for your prince charming, because, well, we've all got one. Unfortunately, mine is a real man and won't stop to ask for directions. And one of my other close friends happens to have a prince that rides a turtle rather than a horse. Anyways, here's our advice. _

_BOYS BECOME MEN WHEN..._

_They follow you when you walk out. Seriously, if they're willing to have you yell at them more than you already did when you're totally pissed, they're a keeper. _

_Call you back when you hang up. Clearly you hung up out of anger, so if they're willing to keep on trying to call back and fix things, they are definitely worth your time. _

_Hug you after you punch them. I mean, if they can take a hit that well and then turn around and hug you, it shows that anything you do will just be fine with them and they won't get angry. _

_Kiss ya when you're nagging. It's actually sort of sweet too, like they're trying to tell you to shut up without actually saying those two words that no girl wants to hear. _

_Watch chick flicks with you. Any guy could go out and get a horror movie so you'll cuddle all close to them. It takes a true gentleman to go out and get a girly rom-com that's totally predictable. _

_Tolerate your tears over love stories. And bonus points if they decide to let the tears fall and allow themselves to cry with you. Because that takes courage!_

_Hand you the remote control. Aw! They're giving up sports for you...and video games-now that's a sign of commitment there, and it's just sweet to know they care about your opinion. _

_Pass on the "booze night" (aka-guys' night) just to listen to your ranting. When they hold you tight while you cry and stay with you until you're asleep or alright again. _

_Don't flare up when you try and give them directions. I really just don't understand why guys have to be so against getting directions from somebody. It just doesn't make sense to me. _

_Says I'm sorry and then tells you how he needs you. It takes a REAL man to admit that he was wrong and an even bigger man to go out and say that he needs you and loves you, because they're talking about those dreaded emotions all guys shy away from. _

"They're talking about us," Kemp said.

"No duh."

* * *

><p><em>And your kiss won't make me weak<br>Ain't no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
>So you'll probably always have a spell on me<br>That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)  
>That's how much I need you<br>That's how much I love you_

Massie sighed as she went through the pictures of her and Derrick she had saved in an old scrap book. She skipped right through certain pages, having memorized exactly what pictures were on each page. Whenever she saw one that would remind her of those mind blowing kisses that made her knees go weak, she kept on flipping through the book. It was a little awful that so few people knew her better than Derrick. Nobody else knew her the way he did, actually. And she hated thinking about the fact that he'd always be able to have this affect on her. It was just a constant reminder that she loved him as much as she wanted to hate him. It just went to show how much she needed him, even though she wanted nothing more than to be able to say she was over him. No, she was still too in love with him for that and it killed her to remember that. She sighed as she kicked the scrap book aside and pulled Bean closer to her. She debated calling one of her friends, but the only one she had left to talk to about guy problems was Cam, and he was friends with both parties. It wouldn't be fair to him to try and put him in the middle. So she was left to her own defenses. And that scared her, because she was rarely alone. Just as she was about to give up on the day and call it a fail before going to bed, her phone went off. She answered without thinking.

"Hello?" She said cheerfully.

"Massie?" Derrick. She cursed under her breath. "I can't believe you sent out that email. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about what I was fighting for."

"And what is that?"

"I'm fighting for all the girls who never thought they could win."

"Let me tell you something, alright? And you're not going to hang up on me because you don't like what I'm saying. You're going to listen to me," He barked. "I'll tell you something...life isn't going to be perfect. It sure as hell isn't going to be fun and beautiful all the time. You're going to cry and get hurt sometimes. You may even feel lonely every now and then. But here's the thing-we need that pain to be able to fully see and appreciate all the beauty in our lives. After all, you can't see the stars without some darkness, right? The pain teaches us valuable lessons. It makes us stronger. There will be hard times in life, but the good news is that it won't be there all the time. You'll have days full of laughter and smiles. Are you feeling pain now? Have you lost somebody? Do you feel lonely? Or maybe you're just struggling in school, or something, but whatever. I promise you that it will go away. Maybe it won't be gone by tomorrow, but one day you can turn around and say that it made you stronger and is a part of what made you who you are today. So do me a favor and don't give up on us. Keep fighting-against the pain. You need to always fight for what you love, because if you don't, you have no right to cry over what you lost. And relationships are always worth fighting for-but I can't be the only one fighting forever," He whispered.

"Where are you?"

"What?"

"Where are you?"

"Come outside,"

* * *

><p><em>And I hate that I love you so<br>And I hate how much I love you boy  
>And how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)<br>And I hate how much I love you boy  
>But I just can't let you go (But I just can't let you go)<br>And I hate that I love you so_

__Massie approached her balcony only a little bit weary. She hated how much she loved this boy, but she'd decided he was right. She couldn't go on hating herself and him forever. She needed him too much for that, and while she didn't want to admit it, it was true. And the only reason she hated loving him was because she was afraid of getting hurt. And he wasn't the one hurting either of them. She was the one responsible for that. And she had to admit that she just couldn't let him go. It hurt too much to even imagine a life without Derrick. And in a way, she did hate how much she loved him, because it made him have the power to break her. But she trusted him not to.

So, when she entered the balcony and came face to face with him, she ran right into his arms, and neither of them was sure exactly who kissed who first.


	69. Chapter 69:I'll Cover You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 69**

_Live in my house  
>I'll be your shelter<br>Just pay me back  
>With one thousand kisses<br>Be my lover  
>I'll cover you<em>

Alicia groaned as she kicked the blankets from her bed, rolling over and standing up. She didn't bother glancing at the clock-it had to be late, probably early morning or something like that. She didn't even bother to try and tidy herself up. it was probably just her father, coming home late again, as drunk as can be, after hooking up with some other girl that could be Alicia's older sister. He'd probably forgotten his keys once again and depended on Alicia being a reliable, typical daughter to answer, since her absentee mother was never around. She glared at her chipped, matador red toe nails, slightly sick to her stomach. Her nails were never this ugly, but she didn't have the energy to care any longer. She stopped at the door and yanked open the tall, thick, golden-like doors without a second thought.

"How do you manage to forget your keys each and every time you-"She cut herself off as she noticed who was at the door. It was Jasper, the boy she'd met just a few weeks ago, but hadn't seen since. "What are you doing here?" She gasped, reaching towards the rat nest that was her hair and twisting it back into a tight knot, tying a band around it to form a little bun that was just barely a knot.

"I've noticed you've been home alone since that night you came over," He said.

"So what?" She asked.

"So I think you could use some help,"

"Why?"

"Because I'm a nice guy,"

"So why do you want to help me?" She asked, crossing her arms over the tight tank top she was wearing, trying to cover her chest.

"I don't like seeing people get hurt. Besides, I see you here and from that day I met you, I was just a little compelled to help you. I feel...a sort of attraction to you," He said.

"Are you some kind of vampire or something?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Let me help you, okay?"

"What do you want back? I don't have that much to offer, and I'm not that type of girl," She shook her head.

"I didn't say you were," He defended himself.

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to give me a chance," He said.

* * *

><p><em>Open your door<br>I'll be your tenant  
>Don't got much baggage<br>To lay at your feet  
>But sweet kisses, I've got to spare<br>I'll be there-I'll cover you_

"What does that mean?" Alicia asked.

"It means I want you to go out with me and give me a chance to prove to you that I'm not such a bad guy, okay? Just...open your heart and let me inside for a little while, okay? One night-one date...we'll just go get dinner or something," He offered. Alicia stared into his eyes and could see that he was practically begging with her for this one little thing.

"I've got a lot of baggage," She whispered.

"Well, that's alright, because so do I," He shrugged. "But that wasn't an answer."

"I don't know how well I'll be able to commit myself to you. I've just gotten out of a pretty messy relationship," She said softly.

"I know,"

"Are you stalking me or something?"

"I've been asking around about you," He said carelessly. It was obvious that he wasn't ashamed of any of this and that startled her just a little bit. Most boys would be ashamed of ever admitting that they'd openly admitted to a crush on a girl and gone as far as to ask details about her past.

"Why?"

"I told you," He sighed. "You interest me, and I'd like to see if you deserve that," He shrugged.

"I'm not so sure I understand,"

"Give me a chance and you'll get all the answers you want,"

* * *

><p><em>I think they meant it<br>When they said you can't buy love  
>Now I know you can rent it<br>A new lease you are, my love, on life-be my life  
>Just slip me on, I'll be your blanket<br>Wherever, whatever-I'll be your coat_

__Alicia sighed. She understood what people meant when they said that love wasn't something that was able to be charged to daddy's account and paid for at a later date. It wasn't something available for purchase. Nobody could have a love that would last forever, because it just wasn't possible. Feelings changed and people moved on. She did, however, know that love was available for rent. It wasn't that hard to do. Love was given to people for short amounts of time and then taken away before one party was ready for it to go. It was painful and horrid, but people had to get used to it.

Love didn't last forever, maybe a few months, a year, at times. It was a short-term lease and sometimes it wasn't even two-way. Sometimes, the person that was loved, didn't mean that they loved you back. Love didn't always mean that the person would become a main focus in somebody else's life. It was just something you could slip on for a little while. Whatever you wanted and wherever you wanted, love changed all the time. It depended on location and wants and needs. It depended on the person and the time. Setting was everything when it came to love.

"Please?"

"Alright, fine," She shook her head. "I'll give you a chance."

"What? Really?"

"Yes," She nodded. "But...come up with something a little more creative than dinner, alright? I get bored easily," She winked as she turned over her shoulder as she wandered back into the house, shutting the door behind her, making her way back to her room.


	70. Chapter 70:Somebody's Heartbreak

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 70  
><em>AN: So, I'm thinking that I'll have them finish up they're junior year (It's around...spring, so maybe, like April right now in the story?) And then, if I get AH-MAZING reviews, I'll go out and give you people a sequel, because you deserve it for being so awesome throughout all of this. BTW: In response to Lizzie: This really didn't take me that long to write. I mean, I used to get, like, four updates a day and now it's down to one 'cause I'm super busy, but everything just comes so easily for this story. _  
><strong>

_I'd love to now just what you're thinking  
>Every little river running through your mind<br>You give and take-you come and go  
>You leave me here wondering if I'll ever know<br>How much you care or how much you don't  
>Whatever you need, whatever you want<em>

Jasper wrapped an arm around Alicia as he helped her out of the car, closing the door behind her. Alicia was just a little bit shocked that he was such a gentleman. He'd come to her door to pick her up, bringing her flowers, before walking her down to the car, opening her door and helping him in before walking back around to his side of the car and getting in. He'd allowed her to pick whatever songs she'd wanted to listen to, meaning the radio had been changed about every three and a half minutes. When they'd arrived at whatever secretive place he'd arranged for their date, he'd hurried from the car and went to open Alicia's door, helping her out-and that left them where they were right now.

"Mini golfing?" Alicia giggled.

"You said you wanted something different," He shrugged. "I just wanted to please you," He shook his head, looking at the ground. Alicia smiled. He was embarrassed so easily-it shocked Alicia, but in a good way. It was clear that Jasper understood the rules. When a girl was treated like a queen she turned around to treat that guy as if he were her king. But, when he treated her as if their relationship was nothing more than a game? Well, she'd show him exactly how it was played.

"I'd love to know what you're thinking," Jasper said suddenly, as they stood in line to get their clubs their golf balls.

"Huh?" She turned to face him suddenly.

"I wish I could know your very thought at all times-every single one that's ever run through your head," He sighed. "It seems like it must be important,"He concluded.

"What makes you say that?" She asked, biting her bottom lip.

"You scrunch your face all up and your eyebrows form a little V...and then you bit your bottom lip. It's cute," He grinned at her. She blushed.

"I'm thinking about how you've clearly figured everything out about a relationship," She shrugged.

"It's not that hard to figure out," He shrugged. "It's all about give and take. Relationships give you certain rights. There's trust, faith, tears, pain, arguments, patience, secrets, jealousy, and, sometimes, it's got love," He said.

"Oh," Alicia whispered. They were silent then, as he paid for their game and took the clubs and their colorful golf balls, heading towards the first hole.

Jasper was so different from Josh. Josh always hid his feelings and left Alicia to wonder if he really loved her. She never knew if he cared or not. Alicia would run around making sure she gave him everything he wanted and tried her very best to be everything he needed, even if it meant compromising who she was. But, he never did the same for her. He just abused her and used her. And honestly, how many chances could she be expected to give him?

And, besides all that...it was clear that her life was worth the struggle, because whenever she looked back to see everything she'd ever lost, she realized that everything she had now was way better than anything she'd ever had before.

* * *

><p><em>If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak<br>If you're gonna be somebody's mistake  
>If you're gonna be somebody's first time<br>Somebody's last time-baby be me  
>If you're looking to be somebody's 'just friends'<br>A little laughing, little loving, never calling again-that's fine  
><em>

"I can't believe I'm here right now..."Alicia whispered, looking around at the aluminum, black and white checkered floors and the vinyl, red and silver booths.

"Why?" Jasper asked, pretending to be offended. "It's Johnny Rockets...what's wrong with Johnny Rockets?" He frowned.

"It's greasy. It's like sit-down, fast food," She wrinkled her nose in mock-disgust...until it turned into something real when the door swung open and in walked Josh Hotz and...Claire Lyons, wrapped tightly in his arms, clenching her hand tightly as she rested her head on his shoulders.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked, turning around slightly. "Who is that?" He asked, turning back to face Alicia.

"Joshua Hotz and Claire Lyons. My ex-boyfriend and one of my old best friends," She whispered.

"He broke up with you for her?"

"I broke up with him...it was a rocky relationship," She said softly.

"Are you...jealous?" He asked.

"No," She said quickly-much too quickly. "I just really hate that bitch," She glared at the blonde. Of course, Claire looked over just then and made her way towards Alicia, dragging Josh with her.

Alicia sighed-if Josh really had to go and break somebody's heart...if he needed to be somebody's biggest mistake, well he should have picked Claire for that. Alicia would have been able to settle for the just friends title that Claire had had for the longest time, with a little bit of laughter, and clearly some love and affection every now and then. As long as she got to be his last time, she was good. But, if Josh wanted to find somebody to use and abuse and never call again, he should have picked Claire, and allowed Alicia to be his love.

"Hey, Leesh," Claire smiled at Alicia. "Still being all old fashioned, I can tell," Claire said, scanning Alicia's dark denim skinny jeans with the black blazer and the grey hood popping out from the faux tuxedo jacket. Alicia glared at her.

"You call it old fashioned? Really, that's funny...I think she just takes relationships seriously," Jasper spoke up.

* * *

><p><em>I guess that all I'm trying to tell ya<br>Is a minute with you is better than two without  
>Oh, I won't be a fool but I can't play it cool<br>So I'm playing safe and I'm breaking the rules  
>I'm wishing I had what I know that you got<br>So if you're coming my way then please don't stop_

"I'm sorry...who are you?" Josh asked, crossing his arms as he stared down at Jasper.

_I hate you Josh Hotz. I hate how you've been ignoring me since the break-up, but now you're talking to me as if nothing happened, all because you're jealous. I can see it in your eyes-you were never one to be good at masking your emotions. _

"Jasper-Alicia's new neighbor," He said, smiling at Alicia. "And, if you don't mind-we're on a date right now," He said, not even bothering to glance at Josh. This humored Alicia, since she knew without a doubt that Josh was getting beyond pissed that he wasn't getting the desired attention. Jasper just kept talking, ignoring their presence. "Leesh...like I was trying to tell you...a minute with you beats any time frame that I could spend without you," He smiled at her.

A part of Alicia loved that he was saying that to her, and that Josh was hearing it, but another part of her hated it because it almost seemed meaningless that somebody else was listening in on what should be special between them.

Alicia kicked him under the table, trying to signal to him that he should stop being a fool and start playing it cool. If anything happened that Josh could deem as fake in any way, he would never let Alicia live it down. He'd tell everybody that Alicia was trying to make him jealous, and she'd be beyond humiliated. And while Alicia wasn't as insecure and conceited as she'd been so many years ago, she still didn't enjoy being embarrassed in any way, shape or form.

Then again...it wasn't always fun to play by the rules. Maybe Alicia should start breaking the rules-even if they were just the rules she'd made for herself. So, when the waiter came over to take their orders, she didn't hesitate to order a chocolate milkshake, a bacon cheeseburger and an order of cheese fries.

"You're incredible," Jasper whispered as the waiter left. "I wish I could somehow get everything that I know you know you've got, but...for right now? This is enough. Of course, I don't want it all to stop here, because that would suck, but...this is good for a start," He smiled. And that was when Alicia realized that Josh and Claire had left their table without her noticing.

* * *

><p><em>Oh I'll take my chances<br>If you're gonna be someone's heartbreak  
>If you're gonna be someone's mistake-somebody's first time-somebody's last time<br>Be mine-oh be mine-be mine-baby, baby, babt be mine-all mine  
>If you're gonna break someone's heart, yeah<br>Might as well, might as well be mine_

__"I should tell you...I'm damaged goods," Alicia said as they sat in her driveway when he was about to drop her off.

"I'll take my chances," He smiled slyly at her.

"I tend to break hearts without meaning to sometimes. And I make a lot of mistakes," She said softly.

"I'll be your next mistake," He shrugged.

"You won't be my first."

"Can I be your last?" He chuckled. "Listen, I don't care about your past. I care about your future, and frankly, I'd like to be a part of it. So, be mine, okay? Be mine-all mine. Just mine. Be my baby and don't let anybody else change that," He said. "If you're so sure you're gonna break somebody's heart...well, it might as well be mine," He said certainly.

And with that, Alicia leaned over and kissed him.


	71. Chapter 71:So Much Better

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 72**

_All of this time I've planned  
>I'd be patient and you would love me again<br>You'd come to respect my mind  
>And at last you'd find you could love me again<br>And I have turned my whole world upside down  
>Trying not to let you go-watching you walk away is like a fatal blow<br>_

Alicia sighed as her phone went off. She knew that it would be much too hopeful to think that it was Jasper, calling back for the fifth time that night. It was Sunday, the day after their date, and close to midnight. They'd kept hanging up, saying good night to one another before immediately calling back just to say good night once again. She knew without even checking the caller ID that it was Josh. She took the phone and hit SEND, answering it without really thinking much of it. She didn't really think much of what disaster it would bring to her.

"I can't believe you went out with somebody else," Josh growled.

"You go out with Claire all the time," Alicia said, her eyes widening in shock that he'd even say that. Alicia had spent so much time just planning how to get him to love her once again. She swore that as long as she was just patient, she'd end up with him and they'd live happily ever after. Josh would eventually start to see her as the smart, independent woman that she was and actually respect her. And then he'd realize that he could once again love her. He'd realize that they belonged to be together.

"You don't understand what's going on with us," He said darkly.

"Then explain it to me!" She snapped. She'd allowed him to enter her life and literally destroy it, tearing her heart from her chest and turning her entire world upside down. He'd abused her and used her. She'd come to find herself as worthless and stupid...not worth love and affection. She'd started to believe that she was nothing other than a pretty face and a nice body. She'd actually believed that Josh would be the only person to ever truly love her. And she'd fallen right into his trap. But she wasn't going to do that any longer.

"My parents arranged this. They want me to marry Claire," He said softly.

"Are we living in the Middle Ages?" She asked. She'd tried so hard to hold onto him, but she just didn't care any longer. "Well, whatever then. You can go on and do whatever your parents want you to do with Claire, alright? Knock yourself out. I've got somebody new anyways," She shrugged. She sighed, holding her breath and waiting patiently for his response to that. She really doubted that he'd just sit there and allow Alicia to pretty much dump him, but she didn't think he'd try and go after a girl he wasn't sure loved him.

"Alright," He'd said before hanging up.

And it killed Alicia to just let him go. It pained her so much to know that he was really walking away right now. It was like a fatal blow, straight to her heart.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry I've been a pest, but I guess my best was not working with you<br>But looks like I've found a cure and I sure look forward to working with you  
>Hey remember when we spent spring break in the hot tub every night?<br>We said nothing else could ever feel so right-well this might  
>Seeing my name up on that list? That beats the first time that we kissed<br>You thought I was dumb but I think that somebody's judgement was poor_

Alicia Rivera stared at the mark on her report card and gasped just a little bit. She'd made the Dean's List...and that was a big accomplishment at BOCD High-something she'd never done before. It offered perks and special privileges to students who's grades were high enough to obtain this status-and Alicia was now one of them, just as Josh had been since freshman year. Yes, Alicia had finally proven that she was smart enough to be a part of the exclusive club that Josh Hotz belonged to at BOCD. And she just couldn't wait to rub it in his face.

She smirked as she entered the school the next day and approached the tall, handsome boy who looked like he should be on the front page of a Ralph Lauren catalogue. He was talking to his friends at his locker and had his back to Alicia. She walked towards him slowly and reached out, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention when she finally reached him. He turned around to face her and rolled his eyes when he saw that it was her.

"Oh, Josh...sorry I've been such a bother to you for the past few...months," Alicia said sarcastically, an overly sweet, completely fake smile taking over her entire face as she spoke to him. "But I really was trying my best to please you. I guess that just wasn't working for you," She shrugged.

"Is there a point to any of this?" Josh asked, turning towards his friends and rolling his eyes. Alicia refused to let him embarrass her though. She was going to get the final word this time.

"But, I've found out what I should have been doing all along, and I so look forward to working with you," She smirked.

"What? What are you talking about?" He asked, eyes growing wide.

She shook her head, ignoring his confusion. "Hey, do you remember how we spent spring break in my hot tub every single night?" She asked, a coy grin on her face.

"We said nothing else would ever feel so right..." He smiled at her, a sudden look of longing taking over his face as his eyes stared into a distance. Kemp and Plovert shared amused, wide-eyed looks with each other before patting Josh on the back, clearly amazed at his good fortune.

"Well, this might," She smirked, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking one hip out. "Go check out the Dean's list-I'm on it, and seeing my name on it...well, that beats the first time that we kissed by a long shot." She said as she twirled on her heel to walk away. "Of course, that really isn't saying very much," She teased over her shoulder, winking at him as she left him there alone, humiliated in front of all of his friends.

Well, that was fine with her. He'd always thought she was dumb-and he'd made sure she thought that about herself as well. But, now it was clear that he'd been wrong. He wasn't as smart as he thought he was, because Alicia had been able to make the Dean's list, something he'd always said was impossible for her. He'd made so many terrible, insulting assumptions about her, and she'd allowed herself to believe each and every one of them. But it seemed like his judgement was rather poor.

* * *

><p><em>Maybe she's what you prefer but hey last year I was her<br>Maybe you will change your mind  
>But you might look up to find<br>I've gone on to better things  
>Better jobs and bigger rings<br>I don't have the time to cry_

Alicia sat in the cafe with her closest and best friends as Josh Hotz led Claire Lyons in, an arm wrapped around her tiny waist and slid into her back pocket of her shorts that just barely covered her ass. It disgusted Alicia that this was what Josh preferred to herself. But, still...this time a few years ago, that was Alicia. Actually, just a few months ago, that had been Alicia. And it sickened her to know that she'd once been that desperate for Josh's attention, that she'd allow his groveling hands anywhere near her. Had she had no self respect in their relationship? Clearly.

And even if Josh went out and changed his mind, well, she wouldn't care. She now knew that she could do better-in fact, she was doing much better. Jasper was perfect in every way. He was constantly sending her cute little text messages during class to tell her how much he liked her and how beautiful and perfect she was. He waited for her at her locker to walk her to class, and he never went a day without texting her good night and good morning. He did everything that a good boyfriend was supposed to do-and so much more.

So, if Josh came crawling back, Alicia wouldn't care. He might just look up to find that Alicia was doing just fine without him. She had friends who cared about her and were loyal to her. Her friends made sure she made good decisions and never was alone when she needed somebody to talk to. And now she had a new form of love-a guy who would never allow her to feel ugly or stupid. He made sure she felt like the perfect goddess she now knew she was. He worshipped the ground she walked on, and Alicia wouldn't have it any other way.

Alicia had officially gone on to better things than Josh Hotz and his mind games. She was smarter and clearly able to do a better job without him. His insults were probably the reason she failed so often during their relationship. He was setting her up for failure, and that was not how a relationship was supposed to work. It was all about give and take, but Josh didn't do that. Jasper did. He was so sweet...if Alicia was comparing them to jewelry, Josh would be a class ring-something you just had to have, but didn't care about when school was over. Jasper? He was a promise ring. True to one girl and close to the heart. He was a keeper.

It wasn't hard to understand that Alicia no longer had the time to cry over her break up with Josh. She didn't have a reason to, really.


	72. Chapter 72:Prom Queen

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 72  
><em>AN: And it starts here-PROM...probably a multi-chapter arc. And amazing reviews. Besides that, I really just feel like writing today, because my English teacher gave me the biggest compliment ever today about my essays (wrote a 9-page essay on how it wasn't fate that led to the death of Romeo&Juliet today) Anyways, it's important for me to get feedback because I want to be a writer when I'm older and fanfiction really helps me get better. And to Lizzie: Zoey_  
><strong>

_I sit behind her every year  
>Waiting for the chance to get<br>To tell her I'm the one she should be with  
>She's popular with all the guys<br>So innocent in my eyes  
>I could see her in my life<em>

Cam Fisher had sat behind Claire Lyons every day since freshman year, each time in a different class. This year, it was trig. He could have been in pre-calculus right now, but he'd chosen to retake this class, just to be with Claire. He could tell from how she tapped her pencil against her mouth that she was having a hard time in the class, and since he was brilliant, he was just waiting for his opportunity to get closer to her once again due to this class. The teacher completely lacked the skills needed to help Claire, who got bored easily, but Cam happened to be an excellent tutor and he knew that when Claire had been dating him, her grades were much better than they were right now.

Unfortunately, he would never get the chance to let her know that she should go back out with him and leave Josh Hotz behind, because she had changed so much. She didn't care about friendship and loyalty. She'd forgotten about education and love. She'd pretty much given up on trying to be a responsible, mature adult and she'd just stopped being a role model to Todd, who idolized his older sister, even if he hated to admit it. Todd was going to turn out to be a miserable, unhappy teenager who was constantly in trouble, because he wanted his sister's approval-and he thought that being like Josh would get him that.

That was how it was with Claire-all about popularity. She was always with one of the 'popular' boys, typically the star of a particular sport for each season. Sometimes she worked her way through the entire team, but that was rare for her. She was never really picky about what sport they played, or how well they did in it. Sometimes, they didn't even have to be attractive and nice. Claire worried about being the most popular girl in school when it came to boys, and she didn't care how she got that title. She'd do anything to make sure no other girl was the most wanted girl in BOCD. She needed to be beating Massie at something, and this was clearly that chance for her.

But, Cam refused to see it that way. He still saw her as the innocent girl he'd fallen in love with back at Massie Block's Halloween party in seventh grade when he'd first spotted her in that ridiculous Powerpuff Girl costume, with the big red wig and the tiny little pink dress. He wanted to believe that she was still so naive and sweet...so pure. But a large part of him knew that she wasn't anymore. He just wanted to believe differently, because he wanted to be able to be with the girl he loved and know that nobody else could ever interfere. After all, he could see her in his life. The only problem with his vision was that she couldn't see him in her life.

* * *

><p><em>Her and her stupid friends-varsity's biggest fans<br>Never forget the day she laughed and walked away  
>And I couldn't stop her-I guess she had it all<br>She had it all figured out but she left me with a broken heart  
>Played around and turned me down 'cause she didn't think I could play the part<br>But now the prom queen-the prom queen..._

Josh Hotz rolled his eyes as Massie Block, Alicia Rivera, Kristen Gregory, Dylan Marvil, and Olivia Ryan walked down the hallway in their own little tight knit group. Massie and Alicia led the pack, arm in arm, with Olivia standing right behind them. Kristen and Dylan had their arms around each other as they giggled with one another secretly. They seemed like the popular girls in a movie that everyone secretly hated and wished would get a taste of their own medicine. That wasn't the case in BOCD. Actually, the only people who thought that here were Claire Lyons and himself. And that was because a part of him hated Alicia and her stupid friends. They were pretty much the biggest fans of the varsity football team, because they each-with the exception of Olivia-were dating one of the stars of the team.

Besides that, he had personal reasons for despising them so much. He would never be able to forget the day when Alicia had officially ended things with him. She'd albeit laughed at his futile attempts to get her back and just turned and walked away to join her friends. Josh had had no power at all to try and stop her. She'd just kept on walking, straight out of his life forever, never to return again-after making sure Josh realized that she was so much better without him, of course. He seemed to have that effect on people, actually. He sighed as he closed his locker and walked away, heading towards the the school's exit. He typically didn't leave for lunch, and he never ate without Claire, but he couldn't stand to watch Massie and Alicia hold court in the center of the cafeteria. It just disgusted him to see that they had that much power and he just...didn't. It seemed too unfair.

He figured that Alicia had it all figured out though. She knew where she was going in life and she knew what she wanted. She had a future ahead of her, and Josh wasn't apart of it. She must have figured that he'd hurt her enough times that he deserved the broken heart she'd left him with. Josh had played around with her own heart, so now it was her turn to turn him down. And he couldn't stop her or blame her for it without hating himself for being so selfish. She didn't think that he would be able to play the part of that loyal, loving boy she wanted and needed in her life. Of the prince charming she deserved to have. And he had to admit that she might just be right.

Still, he was going to work his ass off to make sure he was prom king and she was prom queen.

* * *

><p><em>She did everything she could just to to make him love&amp;treat her good<br>She found herself alone asking where did she go wrong  
>She didn't realize she chased the type of guys that don't believe in ties-trying to apologize<br>Never forget the day she laughed and walked away and I couldn't stop her-guess she had it all  
>She had it all figured out-but she left me with a broke heart-played around and turned me down<br>'Cause she didn't think I could play the part-but now the prom queen-the prom queen is crying_

__Derrick Harrington knew just how special Massie Block was. She did absolutely everything she could to make sure she had somebody who loved her and would treat her good. Sometimes that meant she was stuck all by herself to wonder where she went wrong, because she didn't want to admit that she was making a mistake. She didn't want to realize that she was constantly chasing after the guys who didn't believe in love or relationships. They didn't do commitments, which was what Massie deserved. She was usually the one apologizing to them for not being what they wanted and changing herself to make them feel better about their relationship.

Derrick would never do that, especially after the most recent time she'd turned and walked out of his life, practically laughing at how pathetic his groveling was. But, he loved her. He wasn't afraid to admit it. He loved her. He knew he'd never be able to stop her, because in her mind, she had everything figured out. She knew she was leaving him with a broken heart, but it was okay. She'd been played around with enough to not worry about turning somebody else down. And Derrick was sure she had her reasons to believe that he couldn't play the part she wanted him to. But now the goddess had realized that Derrick was perfect for her, and they were together and would remain together.

_"I would like to announce the Junior Prom king and queen nominees. For prom king, we have Josh Hotz, Cameron Fisher, and Derrick Harrington. For prom queen, we have Claire Lyons, Alicia Rivera, and Massie Block."_


	73. Chapter 73:Why You Wanna

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 73  
><em>AN: I'm estimating maybe 90 chapters and then a sequel? _  
><strong>

_Out of all of the places in this little town-yeah, you had to come walking in here and sit down  
>I'm hiding and hoping my face ain't too red-since we've been over, been trying like crazy<br>To get you out of my head-so why you wanna show up in an old t-shirt that I love?  
>Why you gotta tell me that I'm looking good? I don't know what you were thinking-you were doing...<br>Moving in for a hug like you don't know I'm coming unglued-why you gotta?  
>Why you wanna make me keep wanting you<em>

Claire Lyons lowered her head as she sat in _Book-Ends, _a small, local coffee shop that was a big place for young artists in Westchester. She came her a lot when she needed to think, and she always came alone. She was 99% positive that Josh Hotz, her hook-up buddy turned boyfriend, had absolutely no idea that the place even existed. It was such an under the radar place, she'd just assumed that it was a safe place. Yet, out of every single place a teenage boy could go to in this little town, Cam Fisher had to choose to come walking in here and sitting down on a couch relatively close to Claire's table. She shook her head slowly as she buried her head in the book she was reading in Greek philosophy, her guilty pleasure.

She wanted to hide away, allow the book to take her away to another world, but she knew it wasn't possible. So she opted to just hope that her face wasn't too red. Ever since she and Cam had broken up-mostly because of her wanting their relationship to end to save herself from ever getting hurt again by another guy, and with her other little problem, she'd been trying like crazy to get the beautiful, polite, respectful boy out of her head. The problem was that she knew it was impossible to do. It was much too hard to see a guy as perfect as Cam had been and know that she just couldn't have him.

And he had to show up wearing an old tee shirt that Claire had always loved on him. It was a simple white tee shirt with a swirly gray graphic design with just enough hints of a muted blue and a dull green color mixed in to bring out the color in his multi-colored eyes. Claire had loved how it made the green eye look so much greener and the blue eye appear even clearer. And he knew the effect it had on her. And here he was, wearing it in a place he knew she loved so very much.

He noticed her then, and approached her slowly, very cautiously as he looked around as if to make sure that Josh wasn't around. It was clear that even Cam knew how Josh was when he was jealous. Claire had wanted to believe he'd only abused Alicia because he loved her, but he abused her as well, and she was completely positive that Josh did not love her anywhere near as much as he loved Alicia. Nobody could even dream of competing with her.

Deep down, Claire understood that thinking Josh just wasn't good at expressing his emotions was a silly reason for excusing his cruel and abusive ways, but to her it had made sense. Besides, it wasn't like Claire respected herself anymore than Josh clearly did. So what did it matter to anybody what he did to her? Exactly.

"Claire...hey," Cam smiled as he reached her. "You're looking good," He observed. Claire glared at him, wishing she were a big enough bitch to swear at such a nice guy.

Why did he have to go and say she looked good? It made everything so much harder.

She went to answer him, struggling for the words to say, and he made it even harder than as he moved in for a hug. Claire wasn't sure what he was thinking or doing when he began to, but she knew the hug was just like old times.

The thing was, he had to know that she was still as unstable as she'd always been, and it was clear that she was slowly coming undone with each and every somewhat romantic or physical thing Cam did to her. Was he doing it on purpose? He had to know, didn't he?

Sometimes Claire liked to believe she knew everything there was to know about guys. She thought she understood them quite well exactly, especially for a girl to understand the male mind. Their wants were simple and they didn't think very complex or original thoughts. But, when it came to Cam, it was like she was back in Trig class and had no idea what the hell was going on. She could never figure out why he had to keep making her want him back.

* * *

><p><em>I wish you had on sunglasses to cover up those blue eyes<br>Wish you said something mean  
>Made me glad you said goodbye<br>Why can't you look off somewhere if you catch me staring at you  
>Why can't you be cold like any boy<br>Good ex would do_

__Cam couldn't help but wish that Claire was wearing sunglasses to cover up those crystal blues eyes that just pulled him right in, making it impossible for him to think straight. They were so much like the old Claire that it was hard to remember what she'd turned into and force himself to go back to thinking that he didn't love her and that they weren't meant to be, because he knew that they were supposed to be together. He was positive about that much.

But as they got to talking, he wished she'd say something mean rather than cute or funny. If she could just be cruel as she'd been every other time they'd talked recently, it would all be better. He wanted to be reminded that she'd turned into a stone cold bitch.

She wouldn't do that for him. It was almost as if she didn't want him to be glad they'd said goodbye, which was silly since she'd moved on. Many times.

And then, whenever she'd catch him staring, she'd smile rather than look somewhere else.

He wanted her to be cold as any other girl in her situation would be. He knew he should probably be the rude one, but it was hard for him to do that, despite his rights to do so.

Besides, it was just the proper thing for an ex girlfriend to go on and be rude and cruel when seeing her ex-boyfriend out in public. It was common courtesy and good behavior for them to do so. Yes, it wasn't that hard to believe that Claire was being a bitch if he thought about things that way.


	74. Chapter 74:Who Are You Wearing?

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 74  
><em>AN: I noticed some of my reviewers are also fans of Harry Potter-check out my HP fan fics, please? I get no reviews on them and it's discouraging. Also, I'm thinking about writing a Dramion fic. Comments?_  
><strong>

_Fashion is the art  
>Designers are the gods<br>Models play the part of angels in the dark  
>Which one of you would ever date to go against<br>That beauty is a trade and everyone is paid  
>Fashionista-how do you look?<em>

Claire Lyons hurried around Saks, trying to find the absolute perfect dress for her prom experience. She needed to make sure she looked incredible. After all, fashion was a very precise art that took time and care. She couldn't just wait until the last minute, and even now, with a month until prom, it was almost too close to her deadline. Unfortunately, it was proving near impossible for her to find a dress that looked incredible on her and was still in her favorite color-that beautiful, soft, cornsilk blue color that made her eyes appear absolutely wonderful. It was too hard for Claire, especially since she needed to worry about cost and labels...it was all just too much for her to worry about.

She'd learned one small little thing from her friendship with Massie Block and the other PC members back in middle school. Designers were the gods when it came to the religion they called fashion. Nothing mattered if it wasn't made by a well-known designer who was featured within the glossy pages of Teen Vogue and Seventeen each and every month. The more expensive, the richer the material and the more well known the designer was, the better the product. It was simple logic in Westchester New York and it was not to be argued with.

Each and every girl in Westchester who would be attending the prom would look just like one of those models from the magazines. The models were the key part to the fashion game. They were like angels in the dark-as long as they were confident and wearing a dress with the proper label, everything was alright. Unfortunately, Claire couldn't manage to be confident in any of these dresses.

Not the ones in her budget anyways. Beauty may be a trade that was mandatory when you moved to Westchester, but you were not paid in the proper currency. You received compliments, but not the money you really needed to make sure you kept getting the compliments needed.

"Need some help?" Claire turned around at the sound of an all too familiar voice behind her.

Massie Block stood there in all her glory, wearing a simple wardrobe of black and white Victoria Secret yoga cropped pants with a light purple racer back tank top and flip flips, her hair in a careless ponytail. And in her hands were two gorgeous dressers, in the color Claire needed.

"They're Marc Jacobs' new line," She explained, handing them to Claire who marveled at their beauty. "And they're totally free, because I'm going to treat you, alright? It's my peace offering," She went on as Claire's eyes widened in shock. "There's one little condition, of course," Massie said. "You're not going to the prom with Josh. You're going to Cam," Massie declared.

"Cam doesn't want to go with me," Claire said, staring at the dressers that were all too perfect. She couldn't wait to try one on and see just how beautiful she could look in the proper color, proper style, proper fit...and proper label. "And neither does Josh. Honestly, I'm pretty sure whoever I end up going with, even if it is Josh, is only going to be in it for the sex," She whispered softly, hating herself for giving up on the opportunity for a totally free and gorgeous dress. And for admitting her biggest romantic fear to somebody who was barely her friend.

"Then stop giving them a reason to expect that, alright?" Massie said, rather than allow a judgmental comment slide from her glossy lips. Massie really had changed. That much was clear from how many negative comments she managed to keep inside when somebody said something as ridiculous and stupid as what Claire had just said. "And believe me on this one-because we all know how much I know guys, right?" Massie winked as she giggled, starting to turn away to leave Claire there alone. "I can guarantee that Cam will love to go to the prom with you." She offered as she walked away, leaving Claire there to marvel at the fashionista. Sometimes, Massie was just too good when it came to who and what to wear.

* * *

><p><em>Schon, John, Kelvin Klein Donna Karan's fashion line<br>Valentino, YSL, Ferre, Camal and Channel  
>Halston, Gucco, Fiorucci Don't forget my Pucci<br>Fendi and Armani __God I miss Gianni  
><em>_Kenneth Cole, Michael I can't afford  
><em>_D&G and BCBG looking good is never easy_

Kristen Gregory sighed as she went through racks and racks of perfectly acceptable dresses for the prom. The problem was that none of these dresses happened to be in her price bracket, and that just killed her. She knew if she complained to her friends, she would instantly become their charity case and she wouldn't allow that. Besides, it wasn't like she was poor. She was just on a budget, because her mother did not want her family to ever go through their previous money struggles again. And her allowance did not make room for the ten thousand dollar prom her friends were going to be having. They'd never realize it when it came to hair and make-up or nails, of course, because she was very talented at that fine art-but the dress on a budget? She couldn't pull off that trick.

"Schon...John...Kelvin Klein...Donna Karan's," She sighed as she pushed away from another rack. Those were all affordable fashion lines for her, but those dresses didn't happen to be right for what she needed. They were not the right style for prom and the colors were off and awkward. It would be too hard to try and pass it off as something expensive if it looked like one of their dresses. Kristen hated being this shallow, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to be her friends' charity case ever again, and she didn't want to blend in with the crowd any longer. Just once, she'd like to stand out.

"Valentino...YSL...Ferre-Camal...Channel," She shook her head. These dresses might be flattering for her in cut and color, but the materials just weren't right for her. They happened to be affordable though, and so far, they were her best options. Still, she refused to give up. She was not going to risk showing up in something anybody else might wear and she wouldn't wear something that blended into the rack because it was just so over done. She wanted to be the belle of the ball.

"Halston, Gucci-Giorucci...and, of course, Pucci," She rolled her eyes. She wouldn't be able to afford one of these dresses if she went and bought the required shows and accessories she needed for them. It was becoming too hard to do this.

"Fendi and Armani...oh my god, what the hell happened to Gianni?" She whined, thinking of her favorite affordable designer who would have been perfect.

"Kenneth Cole and Michael...well, these just aren't affordable for my situation," She muttered as she turned around. And that was when she spotted the perfect rack.

"D&G...BCBG," She whispered, hurrying towards the rack. The dresses were all simple and elegant, but they were the type of dresses Kristen could buy and alter herself to make unique and special. She grabbed a simple, pale yellow dress that was a simple off the shoulder design and looked at the price, smiling simply. It would take some work to make the dress completely perfect, but looking good never was easy.

* * *

><p><em>Alexandre Herchcovitch<br>Naomi Campbell's such a bitch  
>I wanna be delgada<br>To fit into my Prada  
>Oscar de la renta-Louis Vuitton<br>imitation of christ-beauty has a price_

Dylan Marvil studied the dresses her mother had ordered her for prom. Each was gorgeous and a beautiful shade of emerald green, but she just wasn't sure which one she should wear, and each problem was due to her weight.

Alexandre Herchcvitch-that was her least favorite dress in the pile, but it was the only one that hide any excess fat and hugged her curves in a show-offy type of way. She shook her head as she glared at the dress.

Her favorite dress was the Naomi Campbell one, but that stupid bitch had made it so it was impossible for Dylan to fit into the size 6-and she refused to move up to a size 8, just as her mother refused to buy it for her.

Sometimes Dylan wished she were one of those dainty, delicate girls, like the models you saw in magazines. She wanted to be thin and tiny enough to wrap her own arms around her stomach, but she couldn't do that.

She just couldn't get to her ideal size so that she could fit into that little Prada dress that was calling to her from her bed. The dress was the most magnifienct color and the style was like nothing Dylan had ever seen before. But it made her look fat.

She sighed-the Louis dress hadn't even been close to fitting her-she'd actually ripped it trying to get it past her ass. She glared as she turned on her heel, walking towards the bathroom.

"MOM? I'm keeping the Prada one!" She shouted down the stairs towards her mother as she slammed the bathroom door shut behind her and stuck her finger down her throat, throwing up the few things she'd eaten that day.

Hey, beauty has a price.

* * *

><p><em>You have to show a look<br>Have a look or give a look  
>Faces? Beautiful<br>No one ugly allowed  
>HAHAHAHAHAHA<br>Are you ready? Here we go_

Alicia knew the rules of getting the perfect hair style. You had to have an image of the exact look you wanted if you wanted to receive that look. In order to pull the look off, you had to have the confidence to have that look. And if anybody looked at you funny as if they didn't think you could do that, well, you just needed to give them your own custom made bitch glare to scare them away from saying anything.

When it came to make-up, you needed to worry about one thing. The face. As long as that was beautiful, it was all alright. After all, in a school like BOCD nobody ugly was allowed on a normal day. On a day like prom, it was close to impossible to get away with being anything short of glamorous.

Alicia looked at her phone and saw the text from Massie.

**Massie: You ready?**

**Alicia: Here we go**

* * *

><p><em>Beauty has a price<br>Beauty has a price  
>Everybody line up<br>The show is about to start  
>Everybody line up<br>The show is about to start_

__Beauty had a price. That was Massie's mantra as she checked her reflection in the mirror one more time. When everybody had to line up for the prom court, she needed to make sure she stood out, because even if she didn't win, she'd be remembered because of her looks. She took a deep breath as she glanced at the clock. The show was about to start-Derrick would be by shortly to pick her up, and then her friends would arrive almost immediately afterwards. Yes, it was time for everybody to take their place. The show was starting.


	75. Chapter 75:Seventeen Forever

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 75  
>AN: Here it is-Prom. Each couple will get their own chapter. Enjoy.**

_You are young and so am I  
>And this is wrong but who am I to judge<br>You feel like heaven when we touch  
>I guess for me this is enough<br>We're one mistake from being together  
>But let's not ask why it's not right<em>

__Cam understood that her and Claire were young. But that didn't mean they were too young to be in love. Sure, their relationship was wrong on so many levels, because it typically resulted in countless fights and a broken heart for each of them at some point throughout the relationship, but that was the only love Cam had ever known, so he didn't think he was the best to judge. Besides, having Claire wrapped in his arms for their prom pictures? It was like heaven, just as it always was when they touched. It reminded him of the good old days in seventh grade and eighth grade. They just belonged together and it was silly to think anything else. Just because they fought a lot, it didn't mean they weren't meant for each other. It actually meant they belonged together, because it proved that they could overcome obstacles, which was rare in most young relationships. Anyways, they were just one little mistake from getting back together. Cam could tell that every time they locked eyes. And maybe he did want to know why Claire had suddenly decided to ask him to the prom, but he was going to prolong that as long as he could. He didn't want to ask why, because he knew he wasn't going to like the answer, whatever it was. He'd rather just stare at her as they ate dinner, anyways. She was just so beautiful, with her blonde hair pulled up in a Cinderella style bun with a small blue-white headband holding it back. Her dress was a simple halter dress in a pale blue color that fell right to her ankles in a straight, pencil-like fashion, a small slit running all the way up to her hip to make it easier for her to dance, and she wore it with blue-white shoes with a heel that was just tiny enough to allow dancing without losing her balance.

"Will you please stop staring at me?" Claire whispered, lowering her head as she looked anywhere but at Cam, who wore a grey tux with a light blue shirt and a grey and blue tie. It was hard for Claire to look anywhere but at the blue eye that was just a tad too bright due to the shirt's color.

"I can't help it..."He said softly.

"Why?"

"You're my biggest regret Claire," He sighed. "Anything else that's happened to me, well, I've been pretty damn proud of all my decisions. But letting things end between us? Well, I can't stop thinking about that and kicking myself for letting you go," He sighed.

"We're not good together. We fight like an old married couple," She protested, shaking her head.

"And when a couple can fight like that and then turn around and talk like best friends while flirting like first lovers forever, well, as long as they're willing to fight for one another like siblings, it just shows that they're meant to be," He shrugged, smiling that cocky grin she'd fallen in love with at her. She lowered her head so she didn't have to look at it for too long. She knew it would pull her back in and she wasn't sure she could handle that.

"I miss the old you. The one who was my best friend and my crush. The one who use to be with me because he loved me," She whispered softly. "I just plain old miss you," She sighed.

"And I'm still here," He responded. "That guy you fell in love with? He's right here, but he's older and a little more mature, so you can have that relationship you deserve," He promised.

"I want to be the reason behind your smile, because you're the reason behind mine," She said, looking up at him with a small smile on her face.

"I haven't had a reason to smile since you left me," He answered, smiling back at her.

* * *

><p><em>You won't be seventeen forever<br>And we can get away with this tonight  
>You are young and I am scared<br>You're wise beyond your years but I don't care  
>And I can feel your heart beat<br>You know exactly where to take me_

__"I want to get out of here," Claire said finally. "We have a lot of catching up to do, and we can't do that here," She said boldly. She didn't care about getting in trouble or getting caught any longer. She was going to start living in the moment.

"You're nominated for queen," He reminded her.

"I won't be seventeen forever, Cam. We can get away with this, alright? So, let's just enjoy tonight, alright?" She smiled up at him.

"I love you," He whispered.

"And love is a verb, which happens to be a doing word. So you have to do something to prove your love. So, let's go," She tugged at his arm.

"We're just kids,"

"So what? We're young! Let's enjoy it while it lasts, alright? And...I'm scared too," She admitted.

Claire understood that she was one of those girls who was just wise beyond her years, but she didn't care about thinking things through logically and carefully anymore. She was going to live in the moment, even if it was just for this one night. Besides, she could feel Cam's heartbeat beating in time with hers and she knew exactly where he could take her so they could be even more in unison. And she wasn't talking about sex.

With Cam it was different, because it was a real relationship. It wasn't about kissing or flirting. It wasn't about the dates or showing off. It was all about being with a person who made you happy in a way that nobody else could.

"I don't deserve you," Cam sighed as they walked towards the exit, leaving without a word or a second thought.

"What makes you say that?"

"When a girl understands your bull shit and puts up with all of your mistakes...when she smiles at you even though you've done nothing but hurt her in the past, it's obvious that she's a keeper. It's also clear that you don't deserve a girl like her," He winked.

"Well, consider yourself a damn lucky son of a bitch," She winked.


	76. Chapter 76:What Makes You Beautiful

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 76**

_You're insecure, don't know what for  
>You're turning heads when you walk through the door<br>Don't need make-up to cover up  
>Being the way that you are is enough<br>Everyone else in the room can see it  
>Everyone else but you<em>

Chris Plovert stared at Dylan Marvil who had her red curls as straight as she could get them and loose around her face. She wore a dark green dress with a tight bodice with a heart-shaped neck line. At her waist, it poofed out into a dark shade of green, still managing to show off her magnificent figure. Yet, Dylan was still insecure and he just couldn't figure out why. She was so beautiful, it shocked him to see that she didn't realize it. Didn't she realize that every single girl in the world was beautiful, to at least one guy who was good enough to find the beauty in that girl?

Every single person in the room had turned to study the glamorous member of the Pretty Committee as she'd entered the dining room at the hotel they were having their prom in that year. It was hard not to stare at her, especially when she wore that make-up that was so not needed. It gave her an unfair advantage, and Plovert really just wanted to take her away and hide her from prying eyes so that they could be alone together and he didn't have to worry about somebody trying to steal his beautiful princess away from him.

She was Dylan Marvil, and that was all there was to it. Whenever she tried to act like one of those mindless actresses or absentee models, it just lowered her value. When she was herself, nobody could put a price on it. It was enough for her to be the way that she was born to be, because that was just perfect. She thought she was fat, because the image America had was sickly and almost skeleton like. And she bought into it. Sometimes he just wanted to put a large sign on her mirror to warn her that the reflection might just be contorted by what society had deemed as "beautiful".

It had to mean something that every single person in that room could see her beautiful and admired her for her confidence and bright smile. It meant something that she was so beautiful that people couldn't help but comment on it. She was the only person Plovert knew who just couldn't see her actual worth and it made him sad to know that. After all, how could she truly love another person if she couldn't even love herself? It was almost as if her claimed 'love' for him was meaningless, because she couldn't love herself.

"You're beautiful," He whispered to her as they sat down at their table with the rest of their friends for dinner that night, wrapping an arm tightly around her. Nobody seemed to notice that Cam and Claire were absent-and if they did, they didn't say anything about it. "You're always beautiful, but you look stunningly so tonight," He told her. "Doesn't she look beautiful?" He asked the other people at the table, hoping that hearing her friends tell her about her beauty, she'd start to believe it herself.

"Of course she does," Alicia replied.

"Are you alright there Josh?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"She always looks amazing," Massie promised.

* * *

><p><em>Baby you light up my world like nobody else<br>The way that you flip your hair gets me over whelmed  
>But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell<br>You don't know-you don't know your beautiful  
>If only you saw what I could see<br>You'll understand why I want you so desperately_

Dylan was the brightest part of Plovert's day-she could bring a smile to his face when all he really wanted was to either kill himself or everybody around him. Nobody else could cheer him up just by coming towards him and giving him a hug with a tiny little smile. But how much did that mean from a girl who clearly wasn't capable of love? Dylan flipped her hair over her should as she turned away from him, ignoring the compliments he was giving her. She started a conversation with Olivia who was dateless, since there were no other lesbian girls who were actually out of the closet at the school yet. Plovert sighed as the ripe smell of strawberries filled his nose. Whenever she flipped her hair like that, it overwhelmed him to a whole new level. Her perfume was clearly meant to be tempting, which he should have figured since it was one of Victoria's Secrets' Fantasy fragrances. It had a strong after smell of fresh strawberries and he loved the fruity smell she always had because of it. Still, as soon as she lowered her gaze to the ground, he was back into his worried mode. She made it quite obvious that she didn't know she was beautiful. It shocked him that a girl with that amount of attractiveness could be so naive when it came to her looks. It made him wonder about what people in her family told her about her appearance. And it made him wonder what she did to herself to make herself feel beautiful. Of course, he had his suspicisions, but he couldn't be too sure. He wished he could force her to see exactly what he saw when he looked at her, just because that would make her understand why he wanted her so desperately.

It really angered him sometimes, to see her like this though. After all, love wasn't a free way street. There was no way to know real love unless you actually loved yourself. Plovert could give as many miles as he wanted to, but it was meaningless unless Dylan gave him at least an inch back. She wasn't doing that, because she couldn't bring herself to love herself to prove that she was capable of a love as strong as he had for her. He sighed as he stared at her, trying to figure out what could have happened to her to ruin her image on herself.

* * *

><p><em>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe<br>You don't know-you don't know you're beautiful  
>That's what makes you beautiful<br>So girl come on-you got it wrong  
>To prove I'm right I put it in a song<br>I don't know why-you're being shy_

__"Why are you staring at me?" Dylan snapped, turning to face him. Plovert was grateful that everybody around them acted as if they couldn't hear their feud. They were used to Dylan and Chris fighting over this anyways. It was old news.

"Right now? I'm looking at you and I just can't believe that you could be so negative about yourself," He said as kindly as he could. He always tried to remain sweet when talking to her. He couldn't yell at her anyways.

"I don't know what you're talking about," She protested. "I'm fat and I'm ugly. My hair's too red, my nose is too wide and my hips are too large. I don't understand how you could love a cow like me," She crossed her arms.

"You don't know you're beautiful...and you just don't understand that that's a big part of what makes you beautiful," He said, shaking his head. "So, will you listen to me?" He asked.

"You've got it all wrong. I'm not beautiful. Alicia? She's exotic and wild. She's beautiful. Massie? She's confident and unique-she's gorgeous. Kristen? She's muscular and sexy. She's glamorous. Me? Nothing special," She frowned.

"Are you going to make me sing? Because I've seen those chick flicks with you and the girl always admits the guy's right after he puts it in a song. But I think we both know I can't sing," He joked.

"I know know why-"

"Why you're being shy?" He asked, cutting her off. "Dyl, if you don't love yourself...well, how can I love you? And how can you love me?" He asked. She didn't have an answer to that.


	77. Chapter 77:It's a Beautiful Thing

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 77**

_Am I losing my mind?  
>You're everywhere and I don't know<br>Something I can't deny  
>On and On like a song in my head<br>And I can't do a thing about it  
>When your heart can't stop like a runaway train<em>

Kemp Hurley really wasn't the type of guy to fall into love. He'd be the first to admit that he was not good when it came to relationships. He messed up and started fights. He'd get jealous pretty easily and sometimes he played stupid games with the heart and the mind. But for some reason, he was giving Kristen his all and he loved her deeply. He didn't even know how he knew it was love. It was just clear to him that it was love. It scared him, and sometimes made him wonder if he was losing his mind. After all, how could BOCD's resident player suddenly be falling in love with somebody else? It just didn't make any sense to him.

But then he looked at Kristen and realized how special she was. She defined what it was to be a New York City girl. She could pull off sportswear with high heels, because it was just a blend of her two worlds. A bikini with a blazer? It showed how sexy she was, yet how brilliant she was as well. She could preppy in the morning before turning into a star athlete in the afternoon and then rocking the sexy look by the time the sun went down. If she was a model, she would be staring in this season's most exciting fashion choice, because she could mix multiple styles that really shouldn't work together and make them work in her own way. She was every where he looked and he just couldn't get her out of his head, but he couldn't explain why if he wanted to.

"I have to tell you something," He said as they sat there, eating their dessert before the dancing really started.

"What?" She smiled at him, pushing back a dirty blonde curly. He sighed. He loved her voice-it was constantly running through his head like a song on replay. She looked incredible in a simple yellow dress that fell off of the shoulders, occasionally giving him a wonderful view of her cleavage when she bent over. It was just tight enough at her waist and ass, but started to flow out simply around her legs, and it sparkled like Belle's had in "Beauty and the Beast".

"I can't deny this...I'm a guy, and usually, I flirt with a girl and then insult her to my friends. I'll send mixed messages without a single thought and hit on her friends. I lie and then lead her on until she falls for me. I make them happy for one night and then act as if I never even knew them. But, when I need a friend or a confident boost, I go back to them. And I always thought the best part was that they couldn't do anything about it, because they loved me and didn't want to lose me...and I'd laugh at that. But then I met you and all my friends thought my plan would be the same. Flirt with you and lead you un until you fell for me and I totally ignored you...but I couldn't do that to you," He said, pushing his hair from his face. He didn't want to be this honest with her, but he couldn't help it.

"I couldn't just lead you. I couldn't allow myself to be a flirt and I forced myself to man up and tell you that I liked you. I didn't want to be just friends and I didn't want to give you that impression. And I didn't want to give you the impression that there was a chance for us just to turn around and take it all away," He went on. "Kris, you make me feel like one of these people stuck on the railroads with a train coming towards them. My heart just can't stop, just like that runaway train." He paused. "Do you get what I'm trying to say?" He frowned.

"I love you too," She whispered, reaching over and kissing him.

* * *

><p><em>And it feels so good that you can't explain<br>It's a beautiful thing  
>When you just can't think about anything else<br>And you give so much that you lose yourself  
>It's a beautiful thing, hey<br>I keep hearing your name  
><em>

Kristen loved how it felt to kiss Kemp. It was just such an incredible feeling that she couldn't explain it in any way other than love. And it really was a beautiful thing. It took over your mind so that you couldn't think about anything else and it just overpowered you. It made it hard to focus on anything other than that one person. And you started to give so much into a relationship that you lost a part of who you were. You weren't just a single unit anymore, but a couple. And it was just a beautiful thing, especially when their name was always running through your head as if it belonged there. But, hey, if you couldn't get somebody out of your head, perhaps they just belonged there?

"I do love you...but I'm new at this and...well, frankly, I'm a bit afraid," He chuckled, looking at the ground and blushing.

"Try something new. Please don't be afraid to do that. It took a team of professionals to build the Titanic, but one amateur built the ark all by himself," She whispered, reaching out and running a hand through his hair.

"What if what we have isn't real?"

"It is."

"How do you know?"

"Because according to Greek legends, humans originally had two faces and two heads. They had four arms and four legs. Zeus was jealous of their power, but also frightened. So, he split them in half and left them to constantly be in search of their other half. I feel complete with you, and that just shows that it's true love, because we are supposed to be together," She explained.

"How the hell did I get a girl as smart as you?" He asked, shaking his head. "But...what if we're that great american tragedy? What if we end up as those people who meet and get close, have a great relationship for a while, only to have somebody stop trying. What if we start to talk less and have awkward conversations. I don't want to drift," He said. "If we don't have any communication...shit, we'll end up like Romeo and Juliet-dead! I mean, he killed himself because he thought she was dead, due to a lack of communication, right? Anyways, I can't let our memories just fade away. You need to be somebody that I know and love, not knew and loved." He took a breath here. "But that's usually how it goes," He summed everything up.

"And that's just sad. And I don't do sad, so that won't be us," She promised, a new fire behind her eyes. "I promise," She said clarified, sealing the deal.

* * *

><p><em>When you lose your way and don't have a clue<br>And you happen to find somebody like you  
>It's a beautiful thing-it's a beautiful thing<br>When you're on the moon and you can't get down  
>Just me and you-no one else around<br>It's a beautiful thing-it's a beautiful thing_

__That feeling when you lost your way and didn't have a clue where to go next? Kemp hated that feeling. He'd felt it for the longest time, and he hadn't found a way to be happy again until Kristen had reentered his life. He'd somehow managed to find somebody who was just a little like him, only better. And it was this beautiful thing that he couldn't believe was actually in his life. It was like he was stuck on the moon with no way to get down. Houston wasn't even answering his walkie talkie anymore. But, he wasn't alone. Kristen was there and it was just the two of them, nobody else around. And that was a beautiful thing. It was the type of thing that fairytales were made of it and he was glad that he got to live a moment like that.

"Do you pay attention to all those songs I love so much?" Kristen asked as she stepped onto the dance floor for their first dance of the night. "Because if you did, you'd hear all of those things that I'm afraid to say," She whispered into his ear.

Kemp smiled to himself as he pulled her closer. He was going to be a better boyfriend than he'd ever been before, starting today. And he was going to love his girl with all his heart. He would no longer be afraid to point to his girlfriend and tell his friends that she was his baby, because he was proud of Kristen. She'd seen his heart that was in horrible condition, realizing that he wasn't even selling it anymore. He was albeit giving it away, because he wanted somebody to just cut it out of his chest for him so he wouldn't have to feel that pain anymore. But, she'd come and bought it from him, taking tender care of it until it was whole once again. They always say that true love hurts...well, the feelings he felt for Kris were enough to lead to death. So maybe they should have called it young love murder. That's what it had to be.


	78. 78:Im Not Gonna Teach Ur BF How2Dance

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 78**

_One-  
>I'm biting my tongue<br>Two-  
>He's kissing on you<br>Three-  
>Oh why can't you see<br>_

"Are you going to dance with me?" Allie Rose Singer whined as she stood in front of Josh.

"Move over for a second," He said, reaching out and shoving her from his direction, watching Alicia and Jasper whisper together from their own table. They hadn't gotten up to dance at all, but Alicia was still smiling, meaning she was still having fun. And that meant he should have been over there. Instead it was somebody else and it sickened him. He was stuck sitting here with his last minute date, biting his tongue so he didn't let out all of the rude comments he wanted to say right now about Alicia, about Allie, about Jasper, about prom in general. But he was just going to sit here for the entire night and watch them, like a crazy old stalker, while he continued to bite his tongue so Alicia didn't have yet another reason to hate him.

"Josh!" She stomped her foot and Josh rolled his eyes. He'd always assumed that only girls on TV did that, but apparently it was a Westchester thing as well.

"Give me two minutes," He snapped, glaring as Jasper reached over and kissing Alicia softly. It was just a little peck, but it was more than enough to make Josh want to launch himself across the room and tackle Jasper to the ground, punching his face in. He wanted to _kill _Jasper and had a violent way planned out for each and every time he touched Alicia and allowed Josh to stand by idly and watch. It was like torture, but Josh was using it as his punishment for what he'd done. He knew it was wrong, but that was what his father did to his mother, still to this day. It was what is father did to him as well. So how was Josh supposed to know any other form of love? Josh was strong now and he could fight back against his father-but he still saw violence and abuse as the only way to display your emotions.

"I've been waiting all night," She hissed.

"I'll be back in three minutes," He ignored her, standing up and starting to walk away. He just wished Alicia would pay attention to him and love him once again. Why couldn't she see that her night would be better spent with Josh, dancing with him and sneaking out after Massie and Derrick had been crowned king and queen to get drunk in the limo before hurrying off to the hotel room he would have gotten them so they could hook up that night and stay the rest of the weekend, cuddled up together while Alicia got up and entertained Josh from time to time, getting rewarded by a good fuck. So what if it sounded wrong? It was true-that was how their relationship had always gone. He glared towards them as they continued to walk past them, not sure where he was going.

"Josh? Josh, could you come here?" Alicia called. It wasn't loud, but he could hear because he was so tuned into her voice. Josh didn't even have to answer. He just turned around and started walking towards her without a second thought.

* * *

><p><em>The word's on the street and it's on the news<br>I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you  
>He's got two left feet and he bites my moves<br>I'm not gonna teach him how to dance  
>The second I do I know we're gonna be through<br>I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you  
><em>

Alicia sighed at her date and new boyfriend. How could it be possible that Alicia, one of the best dancers in all of Westchester, have ended up with a boy who couldn't even dance? It was somewhat humiliating and she couldn't let anybody even assume that. The word would be all over the street and just short of being in the news. She was standing towards the edge of the dance floor with Josh, talking to him in low whispers.

"Can you do me a favor?" She asked softly.

"What?" Josh asked.

"Could you help teach Jasper how to dance?" She asked.

"I'm not teaching him how to dance with you," He said bitterly. Then he looked at Alicia and sighed. "How bad is he?"

"He's got two left feet and he bites at pretty much every move I've tried to teach him so far," She replied.

"I'm not teaching him how to dance," He shook his head.

"Why?"

"Because the second I do, you'll go back to never talking to me and again and we'll be over, once again. So no, I'm not teaching some other guy how to dance with you," He replied before turning swiftly on his heel and walking away.

"Screw you, Josh Hotz!" She called after him before turning and racing swiftly out of the gym. She heard the footsteps and knew somebody was following. She knew it was a male from the heavy steps. She just assumed it was either Josh or Jasper.

* * *

><p><em>He don't suspect a thing<br>I wish he'd get a clue  
>I'm not teach him how to dance<br>You are the girl that I've been dreaming of  
>Ever since I was a little girl<br>You are the girl that I've been dreaming of_

Alicia didn't know how her life had turned into this mess. She was using a boy to make Josh jealous and it was working. He'd never suspected a single problem in their relationship. He'd just assumed Alicia liked him as much as he liked her. She kind of wished the naive boy could get a clue.

_I'm not teaching him how to dance with you_

__The word ran through her head repeatedly.

Ever since Alicia was a little girl, she'd wished for a life just like Massie's. Of course, she didn't know Massie until fourth grade, but she'd always wanted a life like the one Massie had had. And Josh was just the guy that she'd hoped to be with forever. She sighed as she was suddenly pinned to a wall.

"You want me to screw you?" He whispered harshly at her.

"Go away, Josh,"

"Stop doing this to me-I'm trying! I'm taking anger management classes, but you're not helping me here. I want to be with you," Josh whispered.

Alicia's eyes lowered towards the floor.

"You're getting help?"

"Yes," He whispered. "And I want a second chance,"

"I love you," She whispered back at him, reaching out and kissing him.


	79. Chapter 79:Take Me or Leave Me

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 79**

_Every single day I walk down the street  
>I hear people say baby so sweet<br>Ever since puberty everybody stares at me  
>Boys-girls-I can't help it baby<br>So be kind and don't lose your mind  
>Just remember that I'm your baby<em>

Massie Block understood that she was attractive. She'd realized that from a very young age. After all, how many girls could walk down the street on a daily basis and receive compliments from everybody and anybody? She could enter a story and instantly be offered an opportunity to model in an upcoming fashion show or magazine AD. She could feel the stares from members of the opposite sex and she could hear older women commenting on how nice she looked. She could sometimes overhear a large group of teenage boys commenting on how 'sweet' her ass or her chest was. And honestly, she loved the attention. It was nice to get some kind of attention to add to your confidence. It was the best way to receive a quick confidence boost.

And it had just gotten better as she'd gotten older. When she'd gone through puberty, she'd appreciated the stares she'd gotten from boys-and, sometimes even other girls. It wasn't like she could help it. She couldn't control how mother nature chose to hand out good genes and she couldn't control how many good genes she'd inherited from her parents. Massie liked to look nice, and that just added to her looks. It was nice for her to know that it was appreciated. Massie lived for those moments when somebody chose to stare at her rather than at Alicia with her exotic looks, or Dylan with her bright hair or Kristen with her muscular build. Sometimes it was nice to be the one who was noticed for a change.

Unfortunately, Derrick did not appreciate this attention she received. She was constantly reminding him to be nicer to people, since he could turn into a jerk when he was jealous. He would get jealous and start to worry, before becoming curious about what could possibly be going on and then he got angry. And he claimed it was just because he cared, but she just couldn't believe it when he said it. Jealousy was not the best way to show that a person cared. There were much better ways. Derrick just needed to find one and use it. Sure, sometimes it was nice to have a little healthy dose of jealousy in a relationship because it was a pleasant surprise to know that somebody was so afraid to lose you, but Derrick wouldn't be able to call Massie his baby much longer if he kept it up.

While the Pretty Committee may have once believed that being fat was the worst trait a person could have, besides maybe being ugly or poor, Massie had come to know better now. There was no way that fat was worse than being a conniving, vindictive, shallow, vain, boring, evil or cruel person. No, jealousy had to be the worst trait a person could have. At least, according to Massie Block. Especially when Derrick chose to get jealous that Massie had danced one song with Cam Fisher after getting him to reenter the prom with Claire, bringing Alicia and Josh with them and forcing Alicia to talk to Jasper about what was going on. No, it just didn't make sense for Derrick to be jealous of his best friends-and sometimes even Olivia when everybody knew that Massie Block was straighter than a 180 degree angle.

"Are you honestly jealous about that?" Massie sighed, walking back over towards Derrick. "Don't you remember that I'm your baby? I love you and I'm dating you. Please don't get jealous over Cam-he's like my brother. You do know that right? I want to be with you and not anybody else. So please don't get all jealous again," She explained, reaching out to wrap an arm around him in a hug. He backed away, stepping out from her reach and turning away from her slightly. "Derrick...please don't do this to me," She whispered, willing her eyes to not fill with tears. It wouldn't work with her otherwise stunning looks tonight-especially the purple, one shoulder dress that was ann different ruffled layers and longer in the back than in the front. It was just a little too glamorous.

"I'm not jealous," Derrick replied. "But when something is mine...well, it's mine," He declared. Massie gasped. Was he really treating her like a piece of property? How could he talk to and about Massie as if she were nothing more than another piece of property he owned? Didn't he realize how anybody else would be grateful to have a girl like Massie? And was he honestly implying that she wasn't allowed to talk to other guys besides himself? Did he really need all of the attention she gave out? Could he be that pathetic? Massie rolled her eyes. "Anyways-if I'm jealous, it just shows that I care," He smiled down at her, reaching out to hug her tightly, clearly over his anger. Just a little too late. It was Massie's turn to step away now.

* * *

><p><em>A tiger in a cage can never see the sun<br>This diva needs her stage-baby let's have fun  
>You are the one I choose-folks would kill to fill your shoes<br>You love the lime light to now baby  
>So be mine and don't waste my time<br>Crying oh honey bear are you still my-my-my baby?_

Massie Block was like a tiger in a cage. She needed her freedom. She needed a change to roam and have fun. She couldn't do that if she wasn't allowed a slightly longer leash. And she couldn't go without having a chance to run around in the sun. She was a diva, and like all divas, she needed her own stage with a single spot light, right on her as she stood center stage, taking over the entire show. And she needed to be allowed to have a little bit of fun without worrying about losing her boyfriend because he got jealous over such silly and stupid things. She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms and glared at Derrick Harrington, the boy who was supposed to be her other half and respect her as she respected him.

"You are the one I choose. But I could change that any time I want to, I hope you understand that. You see, folks would kill to fill your shoes," She informed him bristly, her anger growing quickly as she spoke to him in a low, harsh whisper. "I am not desperate or pathetic enough to put up with this, alright? I really need you to just try and control yourself when it comes to my relations with other boys. Cam, Plovert, Kemp-and especially Josh...well, there's nothing to worry about there, because I want to be with you and I made that decision a long time ago, when I could have picked Cam-or any of those boys really, and had them instantly change their minds about my friends. But I picked you because I thought you were sweet. Don't change my mind," She glared.

Massie knew that Derrick loved the popularity that they got that was even more intense due to their relationship. But, he wasn't going to get to be Massie's boyfriend any longer if he didn't stop wasting her time. If he really wanted to be hers, he'd start to wise up and watch his jealousy. After all, Massie knew about that old Cherokee legend Kristen was constantly reciting. It was about a battle between two wolves that lived inside each and every person. One was evil, full of anger, jealous, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego-and the other was good. It was full of joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness and truth. And the only way for one of the wolves to win was for you to feed one of them. The one you fed won.

"Massie, don't you understand? The truth is that I get jealous easily because what's mine is supposed to be just that. Mine," He said fiercely, reaching out and taking her arm, turning her towards him to face himself. "I'm stubborn as hell and I say sorry a lot and that bugs you too, right? I act like I don't give a damn because I care just a little too much," He went on. "I over analyze the smallest of things and I'm sure that I probably come off as a total son of a bitch sometimes, but it's just because I simply guard myself because I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm intimidated by you, alright? I'll admit it-I know that I don't deserve you and I'm just afraid you'll realize it yourself sometime," He went on.

* * *

><p><em><em>You got a prize so don't compromise<br>___You're one lucky baby  
><em>_Take me for what I am (A control freak)  
><em>_Who I was meant to be (a snob yet over attentive)  
><em>_And if you give a damn (a lovable droll geek)  
><em>_Take me baby or leave me_

__Massie stood with Dylan, Plovert, Kristen and Kemp while they began to announce the Junior Prom court. When they called her name, it was to a loud supply of applause and she graciously accepted as she made her way up to meet Claire and Alicia. Alicia, who looked stunning in her tiger orange, one shoulder dress that came to her elbow and was cut at an angle at the very bottom. Claire, who looked like a mess after her obvious hook up with Cam. Of course, only Massie knew that Cam had rejected her, not being happy to have sex before marriage, especially in such a cliche way with a girl who had had sex with so many other guys. Cam wanted to make sure it was more special with him and Claire than any of her previous experiences. The boys were called up and then it was time to announce the queen.

It didn't come as a shock when Massie won. She was a prize and it wasn't hard to understand that. She wasn't going to compromise for Derrick. He was the lucky one, not her. So he could either take her for what she was, as she took his controlling ways, and allow her to be who she was meant to be-just as she let him be a snob who was overly attentive. He needed to show that he gave a damn and decide if he was going to take her or leave her. And he wasn't getting much longer to decide.

* * *

><p><em>That's it-the straw that breaks my back I quit unless you take it back<br>Women-what is it about them-can't live without or without them  
>Take me for what I am-who I was meant to be-and if you give a damn<br>And if you give a damn-take me baby or leave me  
>Take me baby-take me baby or leave me<br>Take me baby or leave me-guess I'm leaving-I'm gone_

__"I don't want you talking to Cam anymore," Derrick said as they had their dance as king and queen.

"That's it," Massie snapped. That was the final straw on the large heap of shit Derrick had piled onto her and used to break her back. "I quit unless you take that back," She hissed at him.

"Women...what is it about them? It's impossible to live without them and even harder to live with them!" He rolled his eyes.

"Take me for what I am, alright, Derrick? I can only be the person I was meant to be. So, if you give a damn about me-if you give two shits about us," She said angrily. "Take me or leave me," She replied.

"You're making me decide on if I want to put up with your flirting or leave the girl I love?" He glared at her.

"Take me or leave me-decide now," She glared at him. He was silent as the song ended. Massie rolled her eyes. "Guess I'm leaving," She replied, turning on her heel and walking away. "I'm gone. I'm done," She tossed over her shoulder, trying to hide the tears until she was safely alone.


	80. Chapter 80:Solo

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 80  
><strong>

_You speak to me and in your words I hear a melody  
>But in the twilight it's so hard to see<br>What's wrong for me  
>I can't resist until you give the truth a little twist<br>As if you're gonna get away with this  
>You're not sorry<em>

Massie Block rolled her eyes as her phone rang once again. It was Derrick. She could tell without checking the caller ID or listening to the ring tone. But she couldn't talk to him right now. Every time he spoke to her it was like she heard some sort of melody that she couldn't get out of her head. It was some beautiful sound filled with beautiful thoughts. And she believed each and every empty promise that was made to her by Derrick Harrington, who had yet to ever keep any of his former promises. She really wished she could just remember that when he started again.

Then again, it was very difficult to realize that the boy you loved was lying to you and keeping so many things hidden from you. It was even harder when it was dark and mysterious and all you wanted was somebody to protect you. Or, maybe it was harder when you it was a time like dawn or twilight...those moments when everything was all sweet and wonderful-the ones that romantic movies were full of. It was too hard to see the problems that arouse from believing each and every word that came out of an attractive boy's mouth.

"What's wrong with me?" Massie muttered as she reached towards the phone. It was so hard for her to see what was wrong for her when it came to Derrick. She picked up the phone and stared at the ID. Derrick, of course. He'd been calling her since she'd fled the prom. She slowly unlocked the phone and answered it, putting it to her ear without saying hello. She really didn't think Derrick would be that concerned about niceties when he was angry with her for leaving him there. Or, maybe he was just as broken hearted as she was.

But, she was sure that he was going to end up telling her a story of what had happened at the dance, giving the truth of the matter just a little twist, to make himself out to be the good guy. He would be the one that mattered. There was not a doubt in her mind that Derrick was like that. He always did that. It was just how he was, and all of his friends were the same way. She couldn't blame him though, because it was just what happened from living in Westchester and attending BOCD-nobody wanted to be humiliated.

Derrick always thought he was going to get away with what he was doing, but Massie just wasn't going to allow it anymore. She couldn't let him go on making her out to be the one who was wrong just so her heart would be broken and obvious, unlike his heart which was broken and hidden from the rest of the world. She leaned back, listening to his story go on and on, full of excuses and twisted truths that just didn't mean anything. As if Massie were going to allow him to get away with this again.

"You're not sorry, are you?" Massie blurted, cutting him off as he spoke. Derrick started mumbling, nothing understandable coming from his mouth. "Thought so," Massie muttered, dropping the phone back onto her nightstand as she hung up. She rolled over, putting her back to the phone and deciding that she was just done. She was over with Derrick. That entire relationship was meaningless to her because she couldn't stand him anymore. And then she smirked, rolling back over and taking her phone, picking it up and dialing a number.

"Hey, Chris? You're coming home for the summer, right? Oh, you're back from NYU now? Awesome," She smiled.

* * *

><p><em>Here you go again<br>You couldn't find my number until when?  
>You thought that you could get to my best friend?<br>Without a script your game is lacking.  
>I can't believe I fell for this<br>I fell through the hole down at the bottom of your soul_

_Here we go again, _Alicia sighed, shaking her head as she watched as Josh worked the room, flirting with every other girl he passed. She glared as he wrapped an arm around Allie-Rose Singer's waist, reaching down and slapping her ass before winking at her and walking away. Josh hadn't really changed, had he? She was just being foolish when she tried to believe him, wasn't she? She took her phone and started dialing Massie's number. She needed somebody who could remain calm and rational, talking her out of attacking Josh for his cheating, lying, abusing ways. But, at the last second, she hit END and cancelled the call. How could she even consider calling Massie? Massie would be angry that she'd believed Josh and given him another chance within seconds and then actually been shocked when it had all turned out to be a lie. No, Massie was not a good person to call. In fact, she honestly had nobody, because she just didn't believe that Massie could be a good friend when she was under her own stress. Dylan had her own problems and Kristen was actually happy. And Alicia just didn't trust Claire.

"Hey, Leesh?" Josh smiled, walking towards her and wrapping an arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her neck slightly. "What's up?" he smiled. "I needed to ask you something..."He frowned, running a hand through his hair. He furrowed his brows and began to speak again. Alicia knew this act. He was playing confused and acting like he had no idea why he was asking what he was about to ask, just so Alicia wouldn't be angry at him or walk away, ignoring him. Well, she refused to actually help him this time and fall into his trap. It just wasn't happening this time. "Well, I mean, I get that I haven't called you lately, but I lost your number because I got a new phone and all, you know?" He babbled on. Alicia shook her head. That was a total lie. He had the same iPhone that he'd had at the beginning of the year right now. "But, some guys are talking about getting together with Massie, and I was going to step in and all, but I didn't know if they were still together," He concluded.

Alicia furrowed her eyebrows. That had been the most confusing thing she'd ever heard from him. Then again...had he just said he couldn't 'find' her number? And now he magically claimed to have found it again when he clearly thought that he could get with Massie Block. Alicia knew that Derrick was at this party-it was his house, after all-and she knew no boys were foolish enough to go on and talk about getting into her pants if Derrick was anywhere around them at the time. Josh's reasoning wasn't just confusing. It was stupid. Alicia rolled her eyes as she pushed past Josh and walked away. Apparently he didn't do well with improv. He needed to have some kind of script prepared and now that Alicia knew what his script was, he was trying something new. Well, without his carefully planned scripts, his game was lacking just a little.

How had Alicia ever fallen for this multiple times? Was she that stupid? She'd fallen right through the hole that led to the deepest darkest parts of his soul. Josh wanted Alicia around because she loved him and he needed somebody to always have in case he needed some confidence or some fun. Other than that, Alicia was nothing. Sure, he loved Alicia too, but he had countless other girls on the side. Alicia was treated the best, with expensive gifts and extravagant dates. She was the true girlfriend and she was the one he brought home to meet her parents, but he had other girls. Some were older and some were younger. He'd learned that from his father, only he was abusive as well. Alicia didn't yet know that his father was just as abusive as Josh was.

* * *

><p><em>I'd rather go to a party alone then have to walk around with you on my arm<br>Now that I'm proud to admit that we're done good luck trying to find me  
>Cause I didn't think you could go so low<br>Look at what you've down-you're losing me.  
>Here's what you won<br>God me planning to go solo_

__Massie walked into school, not ashamed to be by herself. She'd rather be by herself before walking around with Derrick on her arm. No, she would no longer be his arm candy. She was herself. Just as Alicia was going to be single and free of Josh and his cruel and vile ways. Those boys belonged as best friends, because they were both just as pathetic as the other one. They didn't deserve Alicia or Massie, but they did deserve each other and the girls would be more than happy to allow them to have each other.

"I'm actually pretty proud to admit that we're over," Alicia began. "I mean, he was nothing more than a scummy jerk, you know?" She said.

"I get what you're talking about. And I'm with Chris now, so good luck for him when it comes to finding me," She shrugged.

"I never thought that either of us would ever sink so low," She shook her head.

"No, sweetie," Massie replied. "They were the one's who sunk low. Not us," She said with a smirk.

"I hope they look at us and realize what they've down," Alicia said happily.

"That they lost us?"

"And what did they win?"

"They got us planning to go solo.."

"Minus you and Chris?"

"It's not official yet." Massie blushed.


	81. Chapter 81:According To You

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 81**

_According to you I'm stupid  
>I'm useless-I can't do anything right<br>According to you I'm difficult  
>Hard to place-forever changing my mind<br>I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time  
>Even if it would save my life<br>_

Massie Block rolled her eyes as she stood at her locker, feeling pinned there just by Derrick's presence. When she turned around to put her back to her locker, he'd been standing there, facing her, his eyes rimmed with red, showing that he'd been crying for quite some time. His hair showed that he'd just gotten out of bed and his clothes were messy and wrinkled. She just wanted to leave. She was busy and she had plans, and he was holding her up, making her late. And everybody knew how Massie felt about being late.

"Derrick, just stop," Massie said, holding her hand up. "I understand what you have to say. You think that I'm stupid and naive. You think that I don't understand what you're talking about and that I'll believe every little thing you have to say, right? Well, I'm not dumb. I'm also not useless. I can do things right and I'm not just something you keep around for a status or entertainment, alright? I may be difficult, but I'm not hard to please. And sure, I change my mind from time to time, but I'm not bipolar," She argued.

She took a deep breath before she continued. "You think that I can't ever show up on time and that I'm a mess in a dress...and you don't think I could do anything for anybody else, even if it could save my own life, correct? Well, Derrick? Are you going to answer me?" She frowned, crossing her arms. "Yeah, I didn't think you would," She rolled her eyes as she pushed past him and started to walk away. She was done with him and his mind games. She was done allowing him to think he was better than her.

Over all, she was just done with Derrick Harrington and all he thought he had to offer. He really wasn't that special and she was going to make sure he realized that, one way or another. And, besides, it didn't hurt her that much to end things with him. She'd gotten over the initial pain a few nights ago when she should have been enjoying the aftermath of her junior prom. Although, looking back at that night, there was nothing good to celebrate that could have made for a wonderful after mass.

* * *

><p><em>According to him I'm beautiful, incredible-he can't get me out of his head<br>According to him I'm funny irresistible-everything he ever wanted  
>Everything is opposite I don't feel like stopping it<br>So baby tell me what I got to lose  
>He's into me for everything I'm not<br>According to you_

__Derrick sighed as she walked how. How could she think that he thought those things about her? Didn't she knew that he worshiped the ground she walked on? Derrick thought of Massie as his own personal goddess. So where could she have gotten the idea that Derrick had all these negative and degrading ideas about her? It just didn't make sense to him. He shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair, walking away slowly, trying to clear his head. What was wrong with Massie?

Derrick thought that Massie was beautiful. She was incredible in every way. It was impossible for him to get her out of his head. According to Derrick, Massie was funny and irresistible. Massie was everything Derrick had ever wanted. There was no way that anybody could argue that Massie was the perfect girlfriend, but she didn't want to believe that Derrick saw it. Derrick had never said anything or acted in any way that could make Massie assume that he thought things that about her?

Everything that Massie had said about what she thought he assumed about her had to be the exact opposite of what he really thought about her. It was all just a contradiction on itself when it came to these debating qualities that they each seemed to think Derrick thought about Massie. It just didn't make sense. It just didn't work. He wanted to take his head and slam it into the concrete repeatedly. He wished he could run himself over with his truck. That pain would be better than the pain he had in knowing what Massie thought of him.

He wanted to stop Massie from thinking these thoughts, but he had much too much to lose. He was into her for every little thing that Massie thought she wasn't. The irony of this all was that in Massie's head, she believed she knew what she was but Derrick was the liar. There were clearly two sides to every story, and Derrick just wanted them to both believe the same side. He sighed as he climbed into his truck and rested his head against the steering wheel, wishing that this was all just a dream.


	82. Chapter 82:Everything You Want

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 82**

_You never could get it-unless you were fed it  
>Now you're here and you don't know why<br>But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
>Past the places where you used to learn<br>You howl and listen-listen and wait for the  
>Echoes of angels who won't return<em>

Derrick sighed as he drove around Westchester, just trying to clear his head. He wanted to somehow forget about the conversation he'd had with Massie before school was over. Apparently, she just couldn't understand what Derrick really thought unless she was force fed the correct thoughts from himself. She didn't seem to understand that Derrick really loved her. Was it that hard for her to get it right without having everything be fed to her like a fact it took eons to finally memorize? Apparently so.

Wait...that was her. Derrick pulled over and stared out the window, watching as Massie and Alicia walked down the street with Chris Abely and some other boy he'd never met before. They were walking in a tight group and laughing easily. Yes, it was clear that Massie Block was here, but he didn't know why or with who. He frowned as he debated trying to get out of his car and chase after her, trying to beg her to be with him. No...that would probably just embarrass him. He shook his head as he pulled back onto the street to drive way.

He wished he was eight once again. Skinned knees and skid marks? Those were so much easier to fix than broken hearts. He sighed as he drove past all of those places where he and Massie used to love one another. He passed the old Briarwood building, the old OCD building. He passed parks and malls and restaurants. He even passed by empty lots. He drove through the streets they'd doubled on with his old bike. He sighed as he drove on, turning onto his own street and then into his drive way.

He could scream and howl, but nobody would listen to him. He was the one who had to listen. He needed to wait patiently. He needed to hear the echoes of that one angel who would never return to him.

* * *

><p><em>He's everything you want<br>He's everything you need  
>He's everything inside of you<br>That you wish you could be  
>He's says all the right things<br>At exactly the rght times_

__Massie smiled as she she walked back into her house after her double date with Chris and his friend Jonah. Alicia was right behind her and as soon as they'd safely reached Massie's room, their forced smiles dropped and they sighed as she collapsed on Massie's bed.

"Chris is perfect, right?" Alicia mumbled finally.

"Everything I want," Massie answered. "And Jonah's wonderful, right?" She asked.

"Everything I need," Alicia replied.

"They bring out this side of us that's so much better than everything we are, right?" Massie asked, picking her head up slightly.

"Don't get me started," Alicia sighed. "They're the type of people I wish I could be," She concluded.

"And they say all of the right things-"

"At exactly the right times," Alicia cut in.

"Yeah," She sighed.

* * *

><p><em>But he means nothing to you<br>And you don't know why  
>You're waiting for someone to put you together<br>You're waiting for someone to push you away  
>There's always another wound to discover<br>Always something more you wish he'd say_

__Everything the girls were saying was true, of course, but they also knew the reason for their hidden sadness underneath all of their words.

Jonah and Chris? They meant absolutely nothing to them, and they just couldn't figure out the reason behind it. There wasn't any logic there at all.

They needed somebody to come and put them back together after their messy heart breaks due to Josh and Derrick, and they were waiting for that guy to come along.

Unfortunately, they would prefer to have a boy who only wanted to push them away, because they loved Derrick and they loved Josh, the boys who lived for that. They wanted boys who were slightly afraid of commitment.

For them, there was always another wound in the making, but once it was there, they realized they'd wanted what had caused it all along.

And there was always something more they wished had been said, no matter who the boys they were with were. The only time it even came close to perfect, though, was with Josh and Derrick.


	83. Chapter 83:Dead Man's Curve

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 83**

_Dead man's curve  
>It's no place to play<br>Dead man's curve  
>You best keep away<br>Dead man's curve  
>I can hear 'em say<em>

"Where are we going this weekend?"

"I'm thinking maybe we could just drive around and get away from all the drama, you know? Just the two of us without worrying about Massie and Derrick or Josh and Alicia, alright?"

And that was how Cam Fisher came to spend that Friday night driving around town with Claire Lyons. Technically, they were on the outskirts of town, where nobody really went for an appropriate date. It was actually better to go to the make-out spot there, but most young driver's chose to stray away from there,all because of Dead Man's curve.

Everybody knew the rumors. They'd all heard the stories. Each year, sometime between prom and graduation, a member of the junior class ended up dead due to some idiots playing around at the most dangerous place near Westchester for rich kids with too much money to waste and fast cars that were just right for racing. It was most definitely not a good place to go and play around.

All of the parents in Westchester gave their children a strict warning when they were learning how to drive and the same one when the keys to their new, expensive, foreign car was handed to them. Most people believed that it just happened to be a curse put on the students of BOCD and ADD, but some people knew it was just old stories that teenagers thought they could prove wrong, only by ending up and proving everyone right. There was still that warning about the place. Parents were always telling their children it was best to keep away from Dead Man's curve.

And, if Cam had been just a little bit smarter or if Claire had been born and raised in Westchester, perhaps they would have remembered these warnings and taken them as precaution. Instead, they'd met up with a full BMW full of teenagers who were all clearly drunk. These students went to ADD, but were clearly just as well off as a BOCD student was. Claire and Cam weren't exactly sober either, but Cam felt the need to show off whenever it came to Claire. So, they were going to have a race. And that was exactly when all of the old warning's Cam's parents and his older brother had told him came back. He could hear what they were saying, but he wasn't listening.

* * *

><p><em>You should have heard the whine from the screamin' machine<br>I flew past La Brea Schwab's And Crescent Heights  
>And all the Jag could see where my six tail lights<br>He passed me at Doheny then I started to swerve  
>But I pulled her out and there we were<br>At Dead Man's Curve_

Claire giggled as the wind blew through the open windows in Cam's mustang, allowing her hair to blow in the breeze. She had her arm and her head hanging from the window as she shouted with glee to go along with the wine coming from the screaming engine that was just under the hood of Cam's second hand machine. It was just ridiculous to Claire that anything could be wrong with what they were doing. This was just fun-exactly the type of thing they did all the time in movies and those incredible TV dramas. The only difference was that in those fictional stories, something bad always happened.

She tossed her head back to guzzle down another sip of beer as the flew past all the streets Claire usually longed to stop on just to window show. She didn't have that feeling tonight though. They had an important destination. They needed to get to Dead Man's Curve, passing the dangerous turn just so they could beat these losers who were behind them. The idiots in the BMW couldn't see anything more than the Mustang's tail lights, and that just made Claire's day even better. Unfortunately, they were passed right when they were about to take the curve. And that was when they started to swerve.

Cam tried to pull out and stop the car from crashing, but it just resulted in nearly dangling from the edge of the road, hanging midair. Cam tried to back up, resulting in crashing the back of his car. He swore as he made a tight left turn, turning just a little too much as he crashed the front into the bedrock. He swore as he tried to continue driving, struggling to keep the wheel straight. The bad part was that he'd somehow gotten turned backwards in his repeated crashes, and he managed to swerve out of the way at the last second, flipping the car onto it's hood and crashing back into the bedrock, the passenger side getting crushed into the mountain.

He reached for Claire, trying to pull her out and protect her, his vision becoming blurred with tears as he got dizzier and dizzier. He knew it had been stupid to try and do something like this at Dead Man's Curve, but it had taken Claire's cold, pale, breathless body to realize exactly how serious everybody's warning had been about the dangerous place. He stopped tugging on her and tried to find his phone, the entire time just praying that Claire would be okay. He'd rather be the one who was seriously injured and dead, rather than lose Claire after he'd just gotten her back. At least he knew that she could survive without him, even if he wasn't happy about how she managed it.

* * *

><p><em>Well the last thing I remember<br>Doc I started to swerve  
>And when I saw the Jag slide into the curve<br>I know I'll never forget that horrible sight  
>I guess I found out for myself that everyone was right<br>Won't come back from dead man's curve_

__The last thing Cam could remember the following morning was when he'd been about to swerve. He'd seen the BMW just barely hit the curve and that was it. It was strange that the night before, he'd sworn he'd never forget the sight of Claire's obviously dead body or the terrible effects of the crash, but he had. He hated himself for ignoring everybody's warnings about Dead Man's Curve, and taking away Claire's life to prove them right. Well, now he knew and he'd never be coming back to Dead Man's Curve. Especially after he'd heard the doctors say those fatal words.

"She's dead,"


	84. Chapter 84:Whiskey Lullaby

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 84**

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
>And finally drank away her memory<br>Life is short but this time it was bigger  
>Than the strength he had to get up off his knees<br>We found him with his face down in the pillow  
>With a note that said I'll love her 'til I die<br>_

Massie Block sat in her car, reapplying her water proof mascara and fixing her eyeliner. She adjusted her hair that was pulled back in a headband and checked her dark purple, almost black pencil skirt that she'd paired with knee high black boots and a black tank top blouse. She didn't want it to show that she'd been crying before entering Cam Fisher's house. She was doing a lot to try and make this easier on the boy. She'd even called Claire's mother and explained that she thought it would be easier on Claire's friends to have a smaller little service after her actual burial. She sighed as she opened the door and started towards the house, entering it swiftly and starting straight towards Cam's room and leaning against the doorway, watching him as he took another gulp of whiskey from the bottle he had on his night stand. She sighed as she watched him. He was going to drink himself to death and the person who could stop him in the easiest fashion was gone now.

She understood what he was doing, of course. He was trying to drink away her memory, because it was all just too painful for him to take. Unfortunately, Claire had always been one to follow the Tuck Everlasting type of life style. She didn't think a person should fear death, but instead fear a life that had been un lived. She thought that there was no need to live forever as long as there was no waste to the life that was given to a person. And Claire had always been one to live life to the fullest. It was just how she was. She took risks and lived life on the edge. Sure, Cam may have preferred to have Claire die a virgin because the two of them had never slept together, but nobody ever died a virgin. Life screwed everybody over. After all, it was a famous Jacob Block line from the final Twilight book. Life sucks, and then it's over because death comes quickly.

Life was short, but death was something even bigger. Everybody hated death and adored life, because everybody would rather believe a beautiful lie than a painful truth. And there were many thoughts on death, all saying that death was not the worst thing that could happen to a person. To Claire, it would be worse to give up on a part of herself in order to keep on living. And Massie had learned that it was impossible to die unhappy, because after a person died, their brain continued to function for 7 minutes. In those seven minutes, they continued to live their entire life over again as if in a vivid dream. This was because time was stretched out in dreams. That meant that when they died from an excessive amount of pain like Claire clearly had, they died happy because their last memory was that final happy thought, as Claire's had been of those final moments she'd spent with Cam.

When Cam fell to his knees, lowering his head, Massie knew she had to act. She knew Cam had enough strength to be strong and act on his own free will, but she also knew he was too broken up about Claire's death. He blamed himself, and Massie knew that even though Cam couldn't remember, he'd caused the death. He'd gotten off the hook because he'd been too injured to have been tested for drunkness. His memory had been so blocked up that the cops hadn't chosen to believe anything he'd said.

Massie probably should have known from when she'd found him face down in the pillows that something was seriously wrong with the boy, but she'd chosen to ignore it, because she wanted to believe he could get over these things on his own. But, now it was clear he was ready to allow himself to due so he didn't have to live with the guilt any longer. He wanted to be free of the pain he was going through. He didn't want to have to live with the regret of losing the girl he'd loved since seventh grade. Not that Massie could blame him.

"Cam? We need to get going," She whispered, walking towards him. "Please, get up and get changed?" She didn't know why she was phrasing it as a question but she had.

"What's the point? Going won't bring her back," He mumbled.

"And you think wasting your life away is going to change that? Cam, giving up your entire life because of Claire's death doesn't mean it's all going to be okay. Please, come be with us and say goodbye to her. And I get that you loved her and it's impossible to ever get over her, but as time goes on, you'll be able to love again and feel other emotions besides pain. You'll have room for other emotions, but you'll never let go of that piece of her that's inside of you," She explained to him as she walked towards him, sitting down besides him.

"Do you guys promise you'll be cool today? No fighting," He asked, looking up at her.

"Yes," Massie nodded.

"I'm going to love her until the day I die," He said softly as he got up and walked towards his closet.

"I know," Massie whispered after him.


	85. Chapter 85:Goodbye Love

**What Doesn't Kill You  
>A Clique Fan Fiction<br>Chapter 85  
>AN: Sequel comes when I get up to 125 reviews. **

_It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?  
>It's true I'm leaving now for Santa Fe<br>It's true your with this yuppy scum?  
>You said you'd never speak to him again<br>Not now-who said that you have any say  
>In who she says things to at all?<em>

Massie Block couldn't believe that Derrick was really just going to walk away without acknowledging her or any of the people around the grave that had just been dug to be the new home of Claire Lyons. Massie hated to admit that Claire and her had lost their friendship after eighth grade, and gotten it back just in time for Claire's death. Massie had wasted so much time hating the girl who had despised her right back, and now they could never get that time back. But, now Derrick was going to do the same thing.

"Derrick," She called, walking towards him and tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around and glared down at her. "Is it true that you've sold the truck? And bought a Ferarri?" She made a face, disgusted by the bright yellow care that could make anybody other than Massie Block beg and grovel for a front seat ride. Massie just couldn't believe that Derrick would do that and give up what he wanted and liked for something that just wasn't him. She sighed as she waited for an answer. "It's true?" She gulped.

"It's true," He nodded. He seemed stiff, as if he was holding back tears that would break free an entire waterfall if he allowed them to be released. She sighed as he crossed his arms and looked down at her, a scowl on his face and his eyes revealing his true emotions. He was miserable, and he was heartbroken, but like a typical boy, he didn't want to admit it as Cam always had. "I'm leaving now," he added. "For Santa Fe," He said. "Is it true you're with this...preppy SOB?" He smirked slightly. A little bit of the old Derrington was coming back now.

Massie went to answer, but Chris cut her off, holding a hand up to Derrick and turning on Massie, glaring down at her. "You told me that you'd never speak to Derrick again," He glared. "You promised you didn't feel anything anymore. You said you'd never speak to him again," He said harshly. Derrick wanted to jump in and attack Chris for yelling at Massie for talking to somebody who was her friend, and Massie just wanted to allow herself to cry, because she didn't know what to do anymore.

"Please, don't start this now," Massie begged, tears beginning to fill her eyes as her calm expression turned into a sad, watery frown. She didn't want to break down. She had a promise to keep to Cam, and she refused to let herself back down from it. She didn't want to make this any harder on him than it already was, because that would just be unfair to him and probably send him back to his drunken state where he stayed holed up in his bedroom. Massie sighed as she placed a hand on Chris' arm, trying to calm him down. That was when Alicia stepped in.

"Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?" She asked, stepping up and crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at Chris. "Do you own her? No, you do not. Is she suddenly your property? No, she's not even your girlfriend. She is your friend, and that will change in an instant, so I'd watch myself if I were you, do you understand?" Alicia asked, a scowl taking over her beautiful features and morphing her face into something different. "You don't get a say in who she talks to, alright?" Alicia said swiftly.

Josh stepped forward and stepped besides Derrick, shaking his head at Alicia. He couldn't believe she was just hopping into other people's problems, acting as if she understood the wonders that were a loving relationship. That was just total bull shit, if Josh's opinion mattered at all. Alicia didn't know love, because she was part of this messed up relationship between him and Alicia. "And who said that you should stick your nose in other people's business?" He asked her bitterly.

"And who said I was talking to you?" Alicia glared. "God, we used to have this fight each and every night. We had this fight every single _day," _She said in exasperation, turning to Massie. She had dark circles under her eyes and enough bags to fit a month's worth of groceries in them. Massie had never seen her like this-out in public at least. "He'd never even admit that I existed-that I was a person with thoughts and feelings of my own, you know?" She snapped, glaring at Josh with an angry scowl on her face.

"He was the same way," Massie cried out, wanting to laugh at the irony of this all. She broke away from Chris and stepped towards Derrick. "He was always...always, just, run away and hit the road," She rolled her eyes as she stared at him in disgust. "He refused to commit to anything..."She said, her amber eyes locking on his chocolatey brown ones as she willed her own eyes not to water. She wouldn't let him win. "Well, you know what Derrick? You're full of shit," She spat at him.

"You're in denial," Derrick rolled his eyes at her, shaking his head and laughing. He was laughing at her, and that just angered her even more. "She's in denial," He informed all of the people around them. "She claims that I was the one who was wrong all the time? She's the one who jumped to conclusions and made me jealous constantly, ignoring the fact that I got jealous easily and she knew that," He said angrily. "She's in freaking denial because she just can't ever admit that she's wrong," He said.

"I'm in denial?" Massie laughed bitterly at him. "Yeah, I'm the one in denial, alright," She said sarcastically as she twirled in a semi circle to face the rest of the group. "He's the one in denial!" She snapped, pointing back at him. "Derrick never wanted to admit that he loved me when we were in public. and when we were alone, he made all of these promises that he never kept...and then he'd just deny that he ever did any of that!" Massie rolled her eyes. She knew this entire thing was insane, and unfair to Cam, but her anger was taking over now.

"Josh couldn't give me an inch. I begged, I cried, I pleaded with him. I gave him everything he wanted, but none of it was good enough for him. He treated me like I was just some slut he met on a corner some day. I was nothing special to him-just another girl for him to mess with. I gave him miles and miles, but he just wouldn't help me make any of it work and it sickened me to know that I was doing all that work. I just got too damn tired of trying all the time and getting no help," Alicia whispered softly, yet harshly.

"I gave a mile," Massie whispered over her shoulder at Derrick. Now he'd had enough. He couldn't deal with her and her pity act any longer. It just wasn't working for him. And he would not allow Massie Block, the girl he was in love with-had loved at some point...he didn't love her anymore. He was sure of that. Even if he knew it was a lie. But he would not allow Massie Block to make a fool of him any longer. He just wouldn't have it-he was going to defend himself and he was going to treat her as he was being treated.

"Gave a mile to who?" Derrick roared. It was clear that he was really angry. Kemp was slightly afraid some of his football aggression was going to come out and he'd attack somebody. Nobody wanted to see Derrick resort to violence, because he was much stronger than everybody there, except for Kemp. But when he was angry, it wasn't hard for him to win a fight with Kemp. "Well, Mass? Who'd you give that mile to?" He snapped at her. That was when Cam stepped in.

"Guys...please, just chill. Don't fight right now. At least let the service end," He whispered. He was pleading with them, the people who should be acting considerably because they loved him and cared about him and his sanity. Instead, he practically had to get on his knees and beg for them to act like true friends. He stepped in between the angry girls and the two miserable boys. "Stop, please, and just relax. Think about what you're doing and about to throw away," He said.

"I'd be willing to die for a taste of what Claire had," Alicia said boldly, calming down as she spoke. It wasn't hard to calm down when you considered what Claire had been lucky enough to have and what Cam had been unfortunate enough to lose. It wasn't that difficult to calm down when you heard Cam's pitiful voice and saw the pain in his eyes as he spoke, begging for his friends to just calm down and stop their fighting, just for a little while, until he was over the loss he'd just had to go through.

"Somebody to live for, who wasn't afraid to say that he loved me," Dylan spoke up, shocking everybody. It was true though. Plovert made a big show of showing his affection when other's were around, but he rarely said those words, and when they were alone, he was nothing more than a 'friend' to her. He was supposed to love her and make sure she knew that at every second. Plovert was supposed to make her feel beautiful at all times, but he just didn't do that, and most of it was because he wasn't sure how to handle her problems.

"Yeah, your words are nice and all, Dyl, but love isn't a three way street. You need to love yourself before you can ever know real love," Plovert stepped in. "I'd know," He rolled his eyes. Of course he'd start in about this. Everybody knew his discomfort because of Dylan and her weight obsession. Nobody could argue that he was right, but they all had something negative to say about his way of stating his opinions and his thoughts on the matter. They all knew it wasn't helping Dylan, even he knew it.

"You all said you'd be cool today," Cam said softly, looking at Massie with sadness in his eyes. "For me," He whispered. "I can't believe she's gone...I can't believe you're going," He turned to look at Derrick. "And I can't believe our family has to die, especially like this," He finished. "Claire helped us believe in love and friendship and all that. I can't believe any of you could disagree," He said. Nobody spoke after that, and slowly, everyone began to walk away, going their separate ways.

"I can't believe this is goodbye," Massie whispered, sighing as everybody left her behind, standing alone in the cemetery by Claire's grave, just wondering how her life that had been so perfect just a month ago could have turned into this so soon. And now it was summer, and everybody knew that time just added to the stress and anger that a fight left people with. This was going to lead for a very eventful senior year. Massie looked around and saw that she was absolutely alone and slowly made her way towards her car. "I can't believe this is goodbye," She repeated.


	86. Chapter 86: Sequel Info?

**The sequel is up! It's called SMASH and all about their senior year. Please enjoy, and also, I probably won't get many chances to upload this week because I have cheer tryouts so I need to come up with a chant, side-line and court cheer with my group as well as a dance and I also have regents to study for and take all within a two week time frame. So, next week is iffy as well because I'll be working and tutoring my friends as well as trying to pack for California. Super sorry to go on a sort of haitus, because I hate it when writers do that, but I also feel like I've been pretty good to you guys with my updates, especially compared to the reviews I receive for the amount of chapters and the frequency of my updates, so I guess it evens out. Besides that, my english final went amazing if anyone cares and my english teacher said she wants to take all my essays from this year and publish them because they're, like, the 'perfect freshman essays' for the topic we're writing on and apparently what I write makes me seem much older. Just felt like saying that so you know the person writing this fic for you guys is worth it! And I got a 208 on my ACT 5 Romeo&Juliet quiz. Out of 100. Just saying, I live for shakespeare, so don't be surprised to see some of that in my stories. Anyways, enjoy the sequel and check it out. Please review your feedback so that I have something to encourage me to write when I long on rather than try and come up with ideas for the dance I need to come up with since I suck at choreography. **


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